


Lily Rhiannon Evans

by TheWhisperingLady



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-08 04:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 126,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15922751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWhisperingLady/pseuds/TheWhisperingLady
Summary: Muggle-born Lily Evans lives a luxurious life in Muggle Wales. However, she must leave that world behind her to learn to use her magic at Hogwarts. Meanwhile, Lord Voldemort’s war in the wizarding world provides a stark contrast to her peaceful life in the Isle of Anglesey. Can Lily overcome Lord Voldemort to bring peace to her new home?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

“Look!” Mrs. Evans said. “We’re home!”  
Her daughter Petunia shook her head. “We just left our home.”  
“No, dear,” her mother insisted. “It’s like I’ve told you these fourteen years, yeah? We are Welsh, not English. It’s just we had to be there for Da’s work. But now we don’t. We can be right where you were born, right where we always belonged.”  
Petunia’s sister Lily turned to look at her father. “Da? What will you do now? Will you quit your job?”  
He turned back and smiled. “How many times have you asked me now?” He nodded and laughed. “Okay. For the thousandth time, then. I have a new job here. Being Marquess will take most of my time. But I am glad of the change. And there will be changes for us all, even you, Petunia.” Petunia scoffed and turned to face the window. Mr. Evans nodded at Lily and continued. “Especially for you, Petunia, since you are the heiress. Not in school though. In the school year, you will be at the same boarding school.”  
Petunia protested, “But my Cokeworth friends-"  
“We are not from Cokeworth, dear, and your friends are not your family. But it is always important to have friends wherever you go. You may visit whenever you like.” Mrs. Evans reached for Lily’s hand. “You, though, will go to the primary school in Bangor. It is a bit distant, but it is a good school, and I’m sure you will make lots of good friends there.”  
“Yes, Mam,” said Lily. “It will be a wrench not to see Sev, but I will see him soon at Hogwarts.”  
Mrs. Evans nodded, her lips curving upward, but Petunia retorted, “Lily! You don’t still believe that, do you? I told you it’s not real!”  
Petunia’s words stirred Lily’s emotions more than the entire process of moving had done. “Oh yes it is! You don’t know!”  
Petunia rolled her eyes. “Fine. I guess I don’t know all the freakish stuff you do.”  
“Petunia,” their father said.   
“Lily,” her mother added. “Remember that Petunia will help you hold back your magic. The incidents happen much less frequently than before, but they should not happen at all. This is a small town, and people might find out.”  
“Yes, Mam.” Lily paused to remember her words. “Petunia will be Marchioness, and Da is the Marquess now, so it is important that I keep up the family’s standards around town. They are important, not me. I will be sure to follow their instruction.”  
“Good for you, Lily.” Her mother tapped her shoulder. “And you are very important to me too, Lily.”  
The car rumbled to a halt, and the family piled out to see the stone manor tower over them. Lily looked up. It was so strange that she was now living in the huge stone building her father and uncle had described so many times as the backdrop for all of their adventures. One of the waiting staff stepped forward. “Ardalydd, Ardalyddes, Arglwyddes Petiwnia, Arglwyddes Lili, croeso i Plas Newydd[1],” he said. “I am Mr. Davies, your butler.”   
“Good morning, Mr. Davies,” Mr. Evans said. “And you are?”  
“Bore da. Mrs. Jones dw i[2],” said the woman to Mr. Davies’ left. “It is good to meet you. Now, may we take your luggage? Which rooms will you be using?”  
“Da,” Petunia asked. “Can we choose our rooms now?”  
“Yes, of course,” he said. “Take a look at the bedrooms on the upstairs hallway.” He paused. “To the left of the stairs.”  
Petunia ran up the stairs, and Lily ran behind her. Petunia pointed to the largest bedroom.   
“It was Hen Daid[3]’s room,” she said. “I guess it will be Mam’s and Da’s now.” Petunia went straight to the room she had used on their visits, the first bedroom to the left of the stairs. Before even looking in the other rooms, she said, “I like this one. I’ll stay here.” She walked back down the stairs, leaving Lily to look at the row of bedrooms. Lily ignored the bedroom, the second to the left of the stairs, where she had stayed as a guest, and looked at all the bedrooms. She named the family member that had been in each one before. Taid[4] (and Da), Modryb[5] Brigit, Modryb Gwen, Modryb Eira. She stopped at the last one. She had explored all the rooms many times over, but Aunt Eira’s room had been closed and locked. Now, here it stood, with the door wide open. Lily took a breath and entered the one room she had never been in before. The walls of the room were covered in Welsh landscapes, which was no different from the other rooms; Hen Daid had always liked landscape paintings. Above the vanity, though, was the one painting in the room that was not a landscape. Landscapes and — a mirror? Lily turned. Her face stared back at her. But the frame looked different from mirror frames. She waved a hand; her old-fashioned reflection did not move a muscle. So it was not a mirror. Was this the famous Modryb Eira? The one with Lily’s same middle name? She would live in the room, and day after day she would find out. Lily turned to leave the room and gasped. Out of the corner of her eye, she could have sworn she saw the portrait nod solemnly at her.   
As Petunia had done, Lily walked back downstairs to tell the servants which room she had chosen. “Arglwyddes Lili?” Mr. Davies asked. “Have you chosen a bedroom yet?”   
“Yes, I have,” she said. “I chose the third bedroom to the left of the stairs.”   
“Yr Arglwyddes Rhiannon,” he said in an awed voice. “Very well. I will have your luggage put there straightaway.”  
They drove to hospital to see Lily’s great-grandfather. Hen Daid was smaller than the last time Lily had seen him. Between the loud beeping of his many monitors and the raspy sound of his breathing, Lily wondered how they would be able to concentrate on their conversation.  
“Dafydd, rwyt ti'n mudo i Plas Newydd?[6]”  
“Ydw, Taid. Diolch.[7]”  
“It is good that someone can take my place now, even if my son will not.”  
As Mr. Evans opened his mouth to reply, Arglwydd Owain looked sideways at Lily, almost as though he saw someone else. “Dafydd, we need to talk about your heir.”  
“Taid, I will be here-"  
“For many years. But here, the heir to the marquessate has an important position, almost as important as the Marquess.”  
Dafydd blinked. “Yes. And Petunia will be a good Marchioness.”  
Was this Lily's first chance to perform her job here, to support Petunia? “Yes,” she said. “Petunia will do well.”  
Hen Daid looked at Dafydd. “But I must be sure. So, please.”  
Lily’s mother led Lily and Petunia to a row of chairs in the hallway where they sat for what seemed an eternity. Lily smiled at Petunia, trying to hide her worried eyes.  
“What do you think they’re talking about?”  
Petunia smiled in a more realistic expression and took Lily’s hand. “It’s nothing to worry about, I’m sure.”  
“Right.”  
Petunia squeezed her hand. “Really, Lily.”  
Of course. This must involve Petunia, not her. She squeezed Petunia’s hand back. “I’m sure it’s fine.”   
Lily smiled at a row of nurses and patients, right before her father poked his head out of the door and beckoned them back in. They all returned to stand around the bed, and Lily tried her best not to flinch as Arglwydd Owain reached out and touched her face.  
“You are so like my Rhiannon,” he said. “That is why you must do this.”  
A rushing filled Lily’s ears, and a sense of dread filled her. There were so many machines — no magic, not now! “Do what?” she asked.  
Hen Daid looked at her, and she wondered whether her magic showed any signs. However, he asked her father, not her, “Dafydd?”  
Lily’s father began, “We always said Petunia would be the heiress.” Lily and Petunia nodded. “Well, perhaps I did not go enough into the details. Since the two of you are both daughters, either of you may inherit.”  
Hen Daid pointed a shaking finger at Lily. “Rhiannon. It must be you.”  
Lily’s father smiled tightly and nodded. “Yes. It must be.”  
Lily stood in shock, trying to process the information. Over her shoulder, she heard Petunia protest, “But I’m older! You said it would be me!”  
“Yes, we always thought so too, but-"  
“Well, you could’ve figured it out before. Before I spent my whole life planning for this. Before I found I couldn’t go to school with my friends — oh no! I had to go learn Welsh in Bangor! Before-"  
“Petunia,” their father said, a warning in his voice, “I understand you are upset. We can discuss this at home.” He turned to Lily. “So, will you do this, Lily”?  
Lily stood motionless. Her mother nudged her. Something. I must say something. She opened her mouth. “Maybe?”  
Mr. Evans shot her a look as though he expected something else, but she had no more words. She remembered a few words from a romance novel. She whispered, “It is good to do all I can for my family. But I do not want to take away from Petunia in doing so.”  
“You will not. This is just you.”  
“Rhiannon,” Hen Daid asked, “ Will you serve your people in this way?”  
Lily stopped. This was Petunia’s place, not hers. She was supposed to be important in a different way, right? But how could she say no? “Ie, Hen Daid.[8]”  
“Good,” he said. “Your father will explain what you must do. Now, Petunia, you know we think no less of you, dear.”  
“Yeah, sure,” she muttered as she kissed Hen Daid on the cheek and prepared to leave.  
Lily did the same and left the room. Was this what Sev had meant? He had sounded so certain they would meet again, at Hogwarts. But he also told her that this was her chance to find her power. Not a communal sort of strength, but just hers. So could this be it, to lead? Her and not Petunia. Petunia….  
Petunia entered the hallway, her mother’s arm around her. Her father came up behind her and tapped her shoulder.  
“Yes?” she asked   
“Petunia, I know you’re hurt and disappointed, and we will talk about this, I promise. But not here.”  
Lily’s mother patted her back. “We’ll go home, have tea, and talk it all out. Doesn’t that sound good?”  
Petunia walked out to the waiting chauffeur, and the rest of the family followed. After a silent car ride, they sat down in the library, where David brought them tea and scones.  
Lily’s father cleared his throat. “So, we all had a bit of news today. I know it made you uncomfortable, Petunia, but it will be best for the family.”  
“How could you think that?” Petunia asked.  
The edges in everyone’s voices began to work at Lily’s nerves, and she moved away from the scene, when Petunia looked at her and pointed her finger. “No! Lily, you do not get to walk away from this! Why should you? This is our family; this is our life-" she cut herself off and faced her father. “Da, when Lily began her magic or whatever, it made me sad. Because I already knew Taid and Hen Daid thought she was more special than I was-"  
“Petunia, dear, that’s not true, you know that’s not true,” her mother protested. Lily shifted in her seat.  
Petunia waved the comment away. “Yes, they do, and most of the rest of the family does too. But you and Da never did. You made me feel like I was special and important too. But now-"  
Lily’s mother tapped her husband on the shoulder. “Dafydd, don’t you think we could -“  
He picked up her hand and set it back down on the couch. “No.” He faced Petunia. “This is hard for you, I know-”  
“But you aren’t willing to do anything to help me. Thanks, I got that already.”  
“No, what he means is that within every challenge is hidden an opportunity, a chance to learn.”  
“So what’s my lesson?”  
“That what others think of you doesn’t matter, only what you think of yourself. That no outside force can make you any more or less important than you really are.”  
Petunia stood, crying. “I don’t believe that.” She ran out of the room.  
Mrs. Evans closed her eyes and looked away. Mr. Evans, though, turned to face Lily.  
“Lily,” her father said, “You understood what Taid said to you, right? That you are the heiress now.”  
Lily nodded.  
“There are several big changes ahead for all of us, but most of all for you. As you will be the heiress now, your role in society will be very different from what it was before, Before, you were just to be one student of many at a primary school. You were to speak of your sister, not of yourself, and it did not matter what or how many friendships you made. But now, we will hire a governess to supplement your classes at school. She will help you prepare for your social events, of which there will be several. In just a few days, she will begin. Also, you will need to be sure you yourself can answer the questions the villagers ask you, rather than referring them to your sister or to me. It will also be important that you make friends here in the village. These relationships will become invaluable to you when you become Marchioness, as they have to me.”  
“Yes, Da,” Lily said.  
“So what do you think?” her father asked. “Does this sound like something you can do?”  
Lily nodded. “I’m sure I will get used to it as time goes on. And I am proud to do my part for my country and my family. I just don’t want Petunia to feel left out.”  
“She will be okay. This was big news for her. She just needs a little time is all.”  
“And your magic,” her mother added. “I noticed that you almost had an episode in the hospital.”  
“Yes, Mam.”  
“You will be around others, much more than before. And if they see these — events, they could become confused and afraid. They might hurt you. So just try to keep it to a minimum, okay?”  
Lily nodded. “Yes, Mam, I will.”  
“You might even hurt someone if you’re not careful.”  
“Yes, Mam.”  
“Petunia isn’t here to look after you during the school year, so I need you to remember to stay calm at all times.”  
Lily nodded. Although the way the last conversation with Petunia had been, she might not want to look after Lily at all.  
“And Lily,” her father said. Lily looked over. “Whatever Petunia said about you just now, she was just angry. She didn’t mean it.”  
Lily smiled sadly. “With respect, Da, yes, she did.” She stood. “Now, please excuse me.” With nods from her parents, Lily climbed the stairs to her room. She heard muffled sobs as she passed Petunia’s room, but a fierce internal debate convinced her the could do nothing to help. Lowering her head, Lily crept inside her room and closed the door. She looked around for something to do, but the maids had already put her clothes and luggage away. Lily sighed and looked at the pictures on the wall. Yr Arglwyddes Rhiannon. Modryb Eira. The strangest, saddest story in the family history. And now Lily was like her. The same middle name, heiress to the marquessate. And Hen Daid chose them both. Eira over her brother, Lily over Petunia. Were there other similarities How much was there that Lily didn’t know about herself?  
The sounds from the next room subsided. Petunia must have gone out. Lily glanced out the door and walked to the gardens outside. Lily picked up a rose from the ground. She would just have to work with what she had, wouldn’t she?  
The next day, Petunia boarded the train back to Bangor. Lily took her hand. Maybe she could still fix what had all gone so horribly wrong. Maybe she could still help her sister.   
“We’ll be the same with each other — we always will,” Lily said, but Petunia did not reply.  
When the family returned, Lily saw a woman walking in the front gardens. She looked up as the family approached.  
“Helo, Ardalydd, Ardalyddes, Arglwyddes Rhiannon,” she said. “I am Mrs. Jones, your governess.”  
Lily’s schooling supplements would take her through her first ever Welsh culture classes, and other items such as etiquette and horseback riding. The goal of each lesson was to learn skills Lily could put to use in public dinners and hunts. Soon after their move, in the spring, Plas Newydd prepared for its first major festival, St. David’s day. As Lily’s father explained, it would be a garden party, an opportunity for Lily to show her place in the village by saying a few words. Mrs. Jones then beamed and set Lily the task of memorising the set of notecards on which she had prepared several lines of introduction.   
As Lily helped her parents set up the tents and tables for the party, everything seemed in perfect order. The first guests had arrived just a few minutes later. The children formed a circle talking to one another in rapid Welsh. But each time Lily tried to join in their conversation, they broke apart with a muttered “Sais[9].”  
Lily’s mind went blank. This was the one situation for which she had never prepared. And why would she? She was Welsh-born, fluent in Welsh to her very soul, with a Welsh family…. Her father came up behind her. “Show your Welshness,” he whispered.  
Lily took a deep breath. “Sais dw i ddim.[10]”  
“Yeah, right,” one of the boys said.  
Lily cleared her throat. “Look, I lived in England a while, but I was born here! I am as Welsh as you are!”  
The boy laughed and turned to his friends. “Look, Evan, she thinks she knows our language!”  
“Oes - ydy!” Lily stammered out, berating herself. If ever there was a time to speak perfect Welsh, this was it.  
“Oh, so sorry, milady,” he said, emphasising his accent. “Did you have trouble translating the English in your head?”  
Lily frowned. The mistake she had made was only because she felt stressed, not because she didn’t speak Welsh, surely he knew that. People stammered the same way in English all the time.  
She looked for the group of boys to tell them that, but they were nowhere to be seen. Instead, there were adults crowded everywhere Lily could see. Her father reminded the man by him that he had lived in Llanfair for the first twenty years of his life, while her mother explained to a group of women that she was Welsh, not English, and that her parents lived in Caerdydd. With such conflict on all sides, Lily, crying, ran to the door.  
One of the men tapped her on the shoulder and asked, “Little girl, are you all right?”  
His wife pulled his arm away. “Rwyt ti’n helpu yr Saesnes?[11]”  
“Siân,” he answered, “we must all be kind to little children, wherever they come from. It is not her fault that her parents dragged her here.”  
Lily wiped her eyes and spoke, deliberately, in Welsh. “I am very well, thank you.” She walked away, pretending not to notice the eyes following her.  
At dinner, Lily crept out of her room and down the stairs, where she heard her parents speaking.  
“The trouble is Lily,” her father said.  
“No! You can’t think that - surely you don’t.”  
“Of course not; Lily herself is a kind, intelligent, Welsh girl. It’s just-"  
“Just the others don’t see it.”  
“And how would they? She is not at a local school; she doesn’t go to school here or even see anyone daily. Not that it should matter; I had a governess myself. But when I was her age, I’d been around town for years.”  
“While she was a visitor here, so she hasn’t been.”  
“Yes. It’s rotten luck, it is.”  
“It’s only one more year until she goes off to Hogwarts - all right, or to wherever. Perhaps a year of school here is what she needs.”  
“Maybe.”  
“But they didn’t really warm to me either. I told them I’m from Caerdydd, but they still think you moved to England to be closer to my family.”  
Lily crept back up the stairs. So, there was a plan for a local school, was there? At least there was a plan. She would try anything, really, to get the taunts of “Sais!” out of her head. And in Cokeworth, she had been too Welsh for everyone. But surely in Hogwarts everyone would accept her for who she was, not where she was from.  
The bell rang. Lily wiped her eyes and went to the dinner. As her father served himself the lamb chops, he asked Lily, “What do you think of going to the local school?”  
“Whatever you think is best will be fine,” she said.  
“We’re trying to work that out,” her mother said.  
“At the school, would the boys who laughed at me be there?” Lily asked.  
“Yes, they would be. Do you prefer not to see them again?” Lily’s father looked over, and her mother added, “For just a year, it wouldn’t make much difference ,anyway.”  
“No, but I should show them I’m not afraid. And I must become a part of life here.”  
“That’s it, then. The school it is,” her father said, sounding relieved. “We’ll sign you up tomorrow.”  
Within the week, Lily began school. Its pace was even with that of her school in Cokeworth, and Lily quickly rose to the head of the class. She had her own share of trouble, but after a month there, Lily had become a well-known figure in the village, just as her father suggested. Soon she had friends of her own, teaching them the same language game Petunia had taught her in Cokeworth.  
“This is how it works,” she said to Anna, the friendliest girl there. “I talk to you in English. Hi, how are you?”  
“Fine, thanks,” Anna said.  
“No! It can’t be in English, though. What languages do you speak?”  
“Um…” said Anna. “English, Welsh, and French?”  
“So who else is playing? Elen?”  
Elen stepped forward. “So now, Anna, say a sentence to Elen, but it can’t be in English, since that’s what I said to you.”  
“Okay. Bore da, Elen.”  
“All right. Now Elen, you reply but not in Welsh.”  
“Can it be English?”  
Lily paused. “Yes, it can. But the object of the game is to use as many languages as we can. That’s what makes it fun!”  
Lily and Anna were sitting and talking under a tree at recess when one of Lily’s tormenters came over.  
“What’s that you’re doing?” he asked, pointing to the ground at Lily’s feet.  
“Nothing,” she said stuffing her hands under her skirt to hide where the garden was coming from.  
“What’s this? English flowers?”  
She picked a daffodil and thrust it at him. “The flowers come from the ground! How can they be English?”  
“No, there are orchids here too.”  
“Well, they grow here too, I guess.”  
“No,” he said. “My father is a gardener, and he says they do not. So, what kind of name is Lily, anyway?”  
Anna broke in. “What, not Welsh enough for you? What kind of name is Charles?”  
“What kind of name is Anna?”  
“Only the best!”  
Lily laughed. By the end of recess, the three of them were talking and laughing in Welsh, just as it should have been before.

Fortunately, it was much warmer on the summer morning Lily and her father stood on the street corner in London. Lily looked up at the building across the street. As they crossed the street, her father patted her shoulder.  
“Lily, I know last night we met some people who… were very proud of themselves.”  
“The way they ordered Anna and Charles around!” she said.  
Her father sighed. “Yes, I know. As nobles, we have a lot of influence, and sometimes that gives our position power. But it never gives us power. Do you understand that?”  
“Yes, Father.”  
Her father opened his briefcase and pulled out two bands of metal. He put on the coronet and handed the tiara to Lily. He then placed his hand on his head. “I am nothing. I, myself, am just a man who helps his people, and thank goodness I have the power to do it. But I, myself, I am nothing without this.”  
Lily nodded. Her father asked, “Repeat that, please. ‘I am nothing without this.’”  
Her hand crept up to her tiara. “I am nothing without this.”  
“Good.” Her father straightened. “You know, you still are significant as a person, just as Charles is or Anna is. But you cannot place too much importance on a title which came to you by birth, one you did not earn. If you become Prefect or Head Girl, you should be more proud of that, for you will have done it all by yourself.” He opened the door. “Now, the House of Lords is just one way we can use our influence to do what matters, serving the people of Wales. The queen granted me a Life Peerage, and maybe she will grant you one too. As my child, you can come in with me, to see how it all works, but nothing more than that.  
“So come in.”  
Lily followed her father into the building and along the hall to a large room.  
“Everyone is gathering for a session,” her father said.  
“Okay. Do they not realise how old I am?” Lily asked.  
“They do. Simply, they also assume there is a good reason for you to be here. Which there is.”  
“So, what will we do here?”  
“You learned about this in school, right?”  
“So this is Parliament too?”  
“Part of it, yes. You remember from your lessons?”  
Lily nodded. Her father said, “Good. Watch carefully today.”

Before Petunia left after Christmas, it was time for one last family dinner. “A formal one,” Mrs. Evans insisted, and she invited family from near and far to join in. Lily set out her clothes, and Gwen helped her arrange her jewellery and hair. A full party of twenty greeted her when she walked down the stairs.  
“Welcome to our family,” Mr. Evans said.   
“Oh my goodness, will you look at all the crystal here!” said Aunt Janine. “And you inherited all of this, Dafydd?”  
“Yes, I did,” he said. “My grandfather specified that the inheritance should go to me rather than to my father.”  
“And it will go to Petunia next?” Aunt Siân asked. “Or can’t women inherit?”  
“It will go to Lily,” Mr. Evans said. “If there are no sons in this line, it can go to either daughter.”  
“Yes,” agreed Uncle John. Aunt Victoria cast a sympathetic glance at Petunia. Mrs. Evans changed the subject. “Should we eat now?”  
The family all moved to sit around the table. Lily sat next to her grandparents so she could translate the conversation for them. “Good, Lily,” her father said.  
The big news was the recent move to Plas Newydd, and the choice of Lily as marchioness. Everyone wanted to talk to her, or at least acted as though they did, to see about how she liked being back in Wales, how she was getting along with the people of Llanfair, and what her plans were for school in the year to come. However, this was not such a pleasant topic for Petunia, and she excused herself halfway through the meal. Some family turned to Mr. and Mrs. Evans, looking up the stairs at the bedrooms. Uncle John and Uncle Bran, though, cornered Lily as she ate her dessert. The conversation continued for hours and hours, until Lily had to excuse herself to go to bed. As she heard the family talking into the night, in a mix of English and Welsh, she fell into dreams of family and staying forever just where she was.

 

[1] Milord, Milady, Lady Petunia, Lady Lily, welcome to Plas Newydd.  
[2] Good morning. I am Mrs. Jones.  
[3] Great-Grandfather  
[4] Grandfather  
[5] Aunt  
[6] Dafydd, have you moved to Plas Newydd?  
[7] Yes, Grandfather. Thank you.  
[8] Yes, Great-grandfather  
[9] English  
[10] I am not English.  
[11] Are you helping the Englishwoman?


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

Just as Severus had predicted, a letter floated down from the ceiling just as Lily was blowing out the candles on her cake. Lily grabbed it eagerly and opened it, already feeling she knew what it would be. And sure enough, the purple ink of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry greeted her as soon as she looked down.  
“So?” asked Mr. Evans. “When do you have to reply? Now?”  
“She might as well, right?” asked Mrs. Evans.  
Lily felt a buzzing, almost like a surge of magic, except that this time, there were no vibrations in the surrounding air. “I don’t know,” she said slowly. “I think — maybe — there might be special considerations for Muggle-borns.”  
“So we should just ignore it for now?” Mrs. Evans asked.  
Lily’s parents were so deep in conversation that they did not even notice when she excused herself and went outside to the gardens. She had magic. That much was clear. Everyone in her family knew it. So what to do? Lily picked a rose and let it levitate over her palm. That was magic. But it still needed to be refined. Didn’t it? So that what had happened in the hospital wouldn’t happen again. To protect her town — from her. And to become the person who could spend every day around them. So she should say yes, right? But then — she would have to choose, wouldn’t she? Between Hogwarts and Wales?  
Her father looked at her curiously when she walked back in. “So, thought about it all, Lily?”  
“Well, I think - I don’t know,” she said. “If you’ll excuse me.”   
She walked up to her bedroom and looked above her dresser. “Eira - what would you do?” she asked. “You never had this problem, did you?” She sighed. Of course not. No one had. All she did was turn another year old. Who would think turning eleven would be so problematic? She smiled at Eira. That train of thought was ridiculous. Surely there had been others in her situation.  
Or was it?  
Mr. Evans knocked on the door. “Lily?”  
She got up and opened the door. “Da?”  
“So this school is real.” Mr. Evans pointed to Petunia’s room next door. “You don’t have to go, though.”  
“I know,” Lily recited. “Petunia goes to this nice Welsh school, so I should too.”  
“Your position now is not what it was. Before, you were not to be marchioness, so it didn’t much matter where you went to school. So we let you keep up this pretence-"  
“It was real, and you know it!” Mr. Evans looked at her, and Lily, embarrassed, lowered her head. She continued, “You saw that today. We all did.”  
“Lily, look at me. Whether this is real or not is not the issue here. You know what the issue is.”  
Lily picked at the loose threads on her bedspread. “That these are my people and I must stick with them.” She squinted her eyes. “But you went away to school - everyone does. Why is this different?”  
“Because you grew up in England.” Her father took her shoulder. “You did. It doesn’t define you, and it doesn’t make you any less Welsh, but it is all that they know of you. Your people. So these years, which would not matter so much to others, are the time in your childhood when you can begin your relationship with them.”   
“I know,” Lily said. “I know, I really do. It’s just that-"  
“Yes.” Her father picked up the Hogwarts letter. “It offers you a great opportunity. I know you have this magic, and I know this school would help you with it. But that - you don’t know what it would be worth to you. Whereas this - it would give you a chance, a real chance, to begin your life’s work. Wouldn’t that be worth more?”  
“Most children have no idea what their lives will be about.”  
Mr. Evans nodded. “And so part of their lives is wasted. But yours doesn’t have to be.” He stood and walked to the door.  
“Da-" Lily said. He turned. She nodded and looked up. “Thank you.”  
The next few days, as Mr. Evans insisted, proceeded normally.

Lily and her parents were just sitting down to tea when they heard a knock at the door. They found a dark-haired woman conversing with the staff. As soon as she sensed the presence of others behind her, though, she turned and looked at Lily.  
“Hello, Miss Evans,” she said.  
Lily’s father muttered something that ended in “Arglwyddes Rhiannon,” but Lily ignored it as she replied, “Hello. How can we help you?”  
“I am Professor McGonagall, and I want to discuss a school you might attend with you. Do you have a few moments?”  
“Certainly,” said Lily’s mother. “Would you like to join us for tea?”  
“Yes, please.” She followed them to the library where several cakes and a teapot sat on a nearby table.  
“Now,” Lily’s father asked, “this school you were discussing?”  
“The name of the school is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.” McGonagall blinked as Lily’s father nodded. “You have heard of this school?”  
“Not quite,” said Lily. “Just, my parents have noticed my unusual behaviour for some time now, and they have asked me whether there wasn’t a school that might refine these abilities. I heard of Hogwarts, but they never did, so I thought it might be made up.”  
“Well, Hogwarts is quite real and will do just that, under the instruction of Headmaster Albus Dumbledore.” She handed Lily a letter. “I also have here your invitation in writing to join our school.”  
Lily opened the letter. So it was true! Everything Sev had told her was true! So, then — “Do I have to go?” she asked.  
McGonagall poured herself more tea. “No, Miss Evans, you do not. I am sure you also have several Muggle, or non magic, schools that you are considering. However, these schools will not help you with your magical abilities. Hogwarts will. Therefore, it is my recommendation that you obtain the education that you cannot have anywhere else.”  
“But,” Lily asked, “I have wondered about this magic of mine for a long time, but what is magic? Why is it that I have it when my parents do not?”  
McGonagall cleared her throat. “The existence and definition of magic are things studied at the highest levels of our practise. Those who study it tell us that magic is a sort of power that supersedes all but the most advanced definitions. As to why you have it but your parents do not, this happens quite often. You are what is known as a Muggle-born witch. There is a gene, I believe, that has lain dormant and passed your magic to you. You will be able to study both of these subjects more fully as a Hogwarts student.”  
“I have a question,” Lily’s father said. “For how many years have there been witches?”  
McGonagall told him, “There have been witches and wizards for thousands of years, as long as the human race has existed itself.”  
Mr. Evans wrinkled his nose. “Then why is it that I have never heard serious talk of witchcraft?”  
McGonagall faced Lily. “There is a law we have called the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy. It prevents witches and wizards from telling Muggles about the existence of magic. However, no law is completely effective, and that is why you remember folk tales and rumours regarding witchcraft. The more law-abiding witches and wizards were those that convinced you there was no truth to those stories.  
“Miss Evans, as your family and friends so far are Muggles, this statute will apply to you in a special way. You will be unable to tell many of those you know about the school you attend or the magic you possess.”  
Lily widened her eyes. “But which family members would I be able to tell? All? None?”  
McGonagall took another sip of tea. “The International Statute of Secrecy is embarrassingly vague on the subject of who you can tell and under which conditions. However, we at Hogwarts generally believe that telling only immediate family provides the clearest cut-off. Hogwarts can help you fabricate stories to explain your situation as otherwise needed. You may also tell your sister even though she is not here at this time. The Statute, though, is clear that no one should know who is not related to you, such as friends and acquaintances, as well as enemies or rivals. I realise that that puts you in a difficult position as far as your friends. You occupy a significant position in the village, do you not?”  
Lily nodded.  
“Well, Hogwarts will be able to assist you in explaining your whereabouts, so please do not worry about that,” McGonagall said.  
“And how will I arrange for this?” Lily asked.  
“Once you are a Hogwarts student,” McGonagall said, “you may arrange a meeting with your Head of House, who will assist you in coming up with alternative stories.”  
Lily’s grandparents walked in the room, just as McGonagall said “ — and Albus Dumbledore will be very happy to welcome you as a student.”  
“Albus Dumbledore?” said her grandfather. “Ydy e'n athro da iawn.[1]”  
Lily whispered, “Grandfather, she doesn’t speak Welsh.” McGonagall, though, rapidly replied, “Ydy e'n dda iawn.[2] I hope your granddaughter understands his offer.”  
“Wait,” said Lily’s father. “Please remember that so far, my daughter has given you no reply.”  
McGonagall nodded. “Correct, you have not. It is my custom to hear an answer before the end of this meeting. Therefore, will you attend?”  
“I, I will consider it,” Lily said. “I understand the uniqueness of a Hogwarts education, truly I do. But I must think it over and discuss it with my family before I decide, which I will do by the end of this week.”  
McGonagall looked disheartened but not surprised. “Very well. I will leave this owl here to relay your answer.”  
“Thank you, Professor,” Lily said, walking McGonagall to the front door. 

As soon as she had gone, Lily turned to her family. “Oes rhaid i fi fynd?[3]”  
A crease appeared in her mother’s forehead. “I don’t understand. Isn’t this what you always wanted? To go to school with your friend Severus?”  
Lily paused a moment. Wasn’t it? “It is, but I know Petunia is in Bangor to support this family.” Her father nodded. “Should I not do the same?”  
Mrs. Evans said, “Well, the main difference between Hogwarts and the school in Bangor would be the course material. Do you think that Hogwarts would allow you to take extra classes, such as Welsh and Welsh history?”  
“Yes, I think it might. But I do not know too much about the dispositions of the teachers. Professor McGonagall seemed nice enough.” Lily turned to face her grandfather. “Taid, why did you say what you did about Professor Dumbledore?”  
Her grandfather shrugged. “I like his name, I suppose. He seems that he would be nice. I would at least give them the benefit of the doubt. There are enough other schools you can attend if this one doesn’t work out.”  
“Yes, that’s true. I would rather not switch schools in a few years though.”  
Her mother spoke up. “But everyone has to go away to school. What really will be the difference whether you go to this school or another?” She paused. “Or do you think it would take up more of your life than your school years?”  
Lily nodded slowly. “It might. After all, Professor McGonagall referred to this as ‘Muggle Wales.’ So I might be expected to live on somewhere else. And if I am, it would be easier to choose another school now than to have to make the hard choice halfway through.”  
Her grandfather added, “Your magic, though, is a powerful thing. If this school offers you the chance to learn about it, as no other school would do, maybe you should go.”  
Lily shook her head. “But what will that do for me? I can’t think of anything I will do as Ardalyddes that will involve magic.” Her father smiled tightly.  
Trying to make the best of the situation, he added, “It might make you a more completely fulfilled person. It might also help in ways you don’t yet know.”  
Lily set her teacup on the table. “I guess it could. But - should I do this? Go to the school I want to go to, just because I want it? Petunia didn’t, you know.”  
Mr. Evans nodded. “That is true. She put everything she did into nothing other than the service of the marquessate.”  
“Yes. Am I any less honour-bound?”  
“Lily, you should go to the school there, with Professor Dumbledore. You need to do that,” Lily’s grandfather said.  
“She does? Why, Father?” Mr. Evans asked.  
“Yes,” he said. “Don’t ask how I know, but it is important.”  
Lily’s grandmother faced her. “Lily. Your duty to your people is to look after yourself so you can look after them as well as possible.”  
“I think it is. But what if I can do both at the same time?”  
Lily’s grandfather spoke. “Lily, you have to go. Your father knows it, and so do I.”  
“Yes, Taid.” She paused. “Only it seems — that-"  
Mrs. Evans said, “Lily, you have heard from every family member here that you should go. Is it not also a part of your duty to listen to what your family is telling you?”  
“Well, I guess I should go.” Lily looked away. Should she go, then? Should she enter a new conflict? “Da?” she asked.  
He nodded. “Lily? Are you not up to a challenge?”  
Lily took a deep breath. “Yes, I most certainly am. I’ll go write the letter now.”  
And as the owl flew away, it seemed that perhaps the hardest decision she had ever had was over at last.

Each family member cleared out of the room, and Lily felt ten minutes of relief. Her feelings, though, subsided when her father edged back in, glancing at her nervously. Then she saw that she had to enter the awkward time before she went to school. Now she had this “magic” that no one understood, but that everyone now had to acknowledge.  
“Yes, Da?” Lily asked.  
“Lily,” Mr. Evans said, “you must remember that despite your school plans, you still should consider….”  
His voice faded away as he enumerated her many jobs as heiress, just as he had done… before. Lily started wondering about life at Hogwarts. What House would she be in? Which would be her first class? Eventually her father looked at her. “Lily Evans,” he said. “You will listen when I speak.”  
“Right,” Lily said.  
“Lily. If you won’t even listen….” He left the room. Lily waited a few minuted, then trudged off to her room. It wasn’t her fault she was excited to go, right? It’s always good to think well of the future — and even her father had said she should go!  
“Lily,” her father said, “I know you are excited to go to Hogwarts.”  
She looked up. “Should I not be?”  
“No, of course, that is good. But just because you are going to school in the fall does not mean you can’t be heiress. Come now, to see.”  
“What is it?” Lily asked.  
“It is the anniversary of the school. The mayor has invited us to a celebration.” The mayor, Anna’s father, nodded as Lily and her father approached. “Welcome, welcome! Thank you for coming, to celebrate our school.”  
“Of course!” Lily’s father said. “Is there anything we can do to help?”  
The mayor waved them in. “Just have something to eat at one of the tables — plenty of food here.”  
Lily and her father took some food and sat down with the others already present. “See, Lily,” her father said, “sometimes our job is just this — to make people feel proud of what they have done, and to help them enjoy it.”  
Lily nodded. She saw Anna and started talking to her about the event. Her father moved to stand by her as the mayor and the headmaster both made speeches. Soon after, the celebration dissolved, and Lily and her father made their way back to the house.  
“See, Lily, it’s quite easy, really,” her father said. “All you have to do is be there for them.”  
“I see.” And she did.

Lily’s parents took her and Petunia to London for some school shopping two weeks before it all began.   
“Mam,” Petunia said, “must I go? Really?”  
“Your sister has always supported you,” Mrs. Evans said sternly. “This year at least, you will do no less for her. We will go to a few regular stores too, so you can buy things. But we will be in London to see Lily onto the Hogwarts Express, and then we will take you to Bangor.”  
Petunia rolled her eyes, but when her father said, “Petunia, let’s go,” she did not argue.  
Petunia stayed back, but Lily and her parents entered the Leaky Cauldron as soon as they had everything set up at their house in London. After a talk with the bartender, he opened the back entrance to Diagon Alley.   
“Is everything here paid for with the same money?” her father asked. Tom then pointed them to Gringotts, where a disgruntled goblin allowed them to exchange Muggle money only after they had set up an account for Lily.   
After Gringotts, Lily’s mother turned to her. “So, Lily, where first?”  
Lily looked at the streets, her eyes becoming larger and larger as she took in the multitude of shops. “I don’t know,” she gasped. “It’s a shame we couldn’t come with Sev. I don’t even know where to begin!”  
Her mother nodded. “Well, your magic is done with a wand, right? Let’s find where to get a wand.”  
They walked down the street until they got to Ollivander’s, which said from the sign that it should sell wands. Mr. And Mrs. Evans walked into the shop. Lily began to look around everywhere. After a few minutes, an old man walked to the front of the store. “Hello,” said Mrs. Evans. “We would like a wand for-"  
“Yes. For your daughter. Come forward,” the man (Ollivander?) said. “Now, you are Muggle-born, are you not?”  
“Yes, sir,” Lily said. “How did you-"  
“I would know if your parents had been here,” he said.   
When Lily left the store what must have been an hour later, her mother smiled and said, “Well, one thing down. What else is there?”  
Lily checked her list. “I need a cauldron.”  
They soon after found a store with Potions supplies. “Do you want anything else here, dear? Forceps? Scalpel?”  
After that, they walked back up the road to the bookstore they had seen before, and a store for quills and parchment. Mr. Evans inspected all the merchandise carefully. “No pens? No lined paper? How do you know how to write straight?”  
Mrs. Evans made sure Lily bought only the standard, non-bespelled quills. “These are interesting,” she said, pointing at the Spellcheck quills, “but they will make you lazy. And what are these?” She looked at the paper promoting Self-Refilling quills. “Best not to keep those until you learn at least a little magic. That could go horribly wrong; I wonder why on earth they would advertise such a thing.”  
Mr. Evans looked around for pencils. “And how do you erase?” he kept asking. “With magic,” the worn-out shopkeeper answered. “But what if you’ve run out of magic?”  
“Da,” Lily said, her face heating up, “you don’t run out. I got a book on that, remember? You have more or less the same magic every day. No, Mam,” she added, “I just need regular parchment, not the bespelled-"  
“But what if you are called to-"  
“I’m a student, just a student,” she said.   
The persistent shopkeeper asked, “Do you need a trunk?”  
“Yes,” Lily said. After she had the regulation size, she walked out of the store.   
Once Lily had bought all of her schoolbooks and supplies, Mrs. Evans took her into Madam Malkin’s. “But Mam!” she protested. “I just got fit for my robes. I bought everything I need for school, and on the weekends, I can wear the clothes I have.”   
Mrs. Evans shook her head. “Lily, do you remember the trouble you had fitting in at Llanfair at first?”  
“Of course I do.”  
“That was not because of what you knew or learned. It was how you seemed to them. How you looked, how you sounded. So you want to avoid the hard work on that at school, right?”  
Lily nodded.  
“Right. You want to focus on your classes.” She pointed to the excited customers outside. “There are different fashions. I just want you to get used to them, is all.”  
“And if-"  
“If you don’t like them, you don’t have to wear them.” She picked up a set of pale green robes. “Although I think we can find something good here.”  
By the time they left Madam Malkin’s, both their arms were overflowing with sets of casual and dress robes, along with the sets of the school uniform. Madam Malkin herself rushed out of the store with them, overflowing with thanks and wishes that they would soon return to her store. Mr. Evans took a look at the two of them as they walked back to the Leaky Cauldron. “I think we should go back home for now,” he said.  
Once they were back at the house in London, he brought a wrapped package into Lily’s room where she was putting everything into her trunk. “This is for you,” he said. “I was going to give it to you as a going-away present, but now that you have all your clothes — just open it.”  
Lily unwrapped the paper and found a green woollen shawl. “I found this after we moved to Plas Newydd,” her father said. “It belonged to your Aunt Eira.”  
“The last marchioness,” Lily said. She wrapped the shawl around her. “And the first Rhiannon.”  
Mr. Evans raised his eyebrows. “Well, not quite the first.”  
“I know.” Lily swept her fingers over the fabric. “I love this. Diolch, Da.”  
“Your mother wants you to fit in wherever you go, so she buys you the clothes to look just right,” her father said. “But I want to make sure you do not forget yourself in that. So whatever robes you wear all day, just remember that they do not define you.”  
“Thank you,” said Lily. “I will always do my best to remember that.”   
Mr. Evans smiled. “That’s my girl.” He left the room, and Lily sank back down on the bed, blessed with both the promise of her future and the memories of her past.  
The next morning, Lily and her parents returned to Diagon Alley for another look at the bookstore, and to look at the list to be sure they had everything.   
They went back to the Potions supplier. “It seems I need a set of gloves,” Lily said. “I also need a set of flasks.” “Do you need a Bunsen burner?” her mother asked.  
“It’s not on the list here. Anyway, I’m sure the Potions professor will help me out if I’m missing anything.”  
“Well,” Mrs. Evans said, “that’s everything, then. We should go back to check on Petunia.”  
But a quick trip back to the house showed that Petunia was not there. When she walked through the door twenty minutes later, Mrs. Evans glared. “Where have you been?”  
“I’m all right, Mam. I’m just making sure I have everything — you know I’m going to school tomorrow too.”  
“Of course, dear. Still, I wish you had left us a note to say where you were. Your father and I were so worried.”  
“You’ll come with me tomorrow, though, right?” Lily asked.  
“If it means so much to you,” Petunia said. Lily threw her arms around her older sister.

“Lily,” her parents said, “here!” They unwrapped the box at the top of her trolley. An owl hooted at her.   
“Really?” Lily asked.   
“We noticed that that was the way to send the mail,” her mother said. “So now, with your own, you can write us lots.”  
“Plus,” said Lily’s father, “it said in the letter that you could bring one if you wanted.”  
“Thank you!” said Lily. Petunia sniffed.  
“Well,” her father said, “be sure to let us know how things are going at Hogwarts.”  
“We love you and will see you soon,” her mother added. “Have fun!”  
Petunia pulled Lily away from their parents. “So this is it?” she asked. “You’re really leaving?”  
“Yes, Tuney, I really am.”  
“To your own special school.” Petunia raised her eyebrows. “You always do that. How do you do that? You get chances I never had.”  
She glared at Lily. “I’m sorry, Tuney, I’m sorry!” Lily said. “Listen - maybe once I’m there -“ Petunia kept pulling away, but Lily kept on. “No, listen, Tuney! Maybe once I’m there, I’ll be able to go to Professor Dumbledore and persuade him to change his mind!”  
“I don’t — want — to — go!” Petunia said. She let go of Lily and looked away. “You think I want to go to some stupid castle and learn to be a — a — “ She looked around wildly for something to say. "-You think I want to be a — a freak?”  
It was one time too many. How could the sister Lily had always adored think so little of her? How could she? “I’m not a freak. That’s a horrible thing to say.”  
But Petunia wouldn’t stop there. “That’s where you’re going. A special school for freaks. You and that Snape boy… weirdos, that’s what you two are. It’s good you’re being separated from normal people. It’s for our safety.”  
Lily stopped crying. How many tears had she shed over becoming heiress? Over leaving home for Hogwarts? Over her sister’s fate? And what good had it ever done? Maybe she should do what Severus did — maybe she should be mean. Lily looked around to be sure no one else would hear her.  
“You didn’t think it was such a freak’s school when you wrote to the headmaster and begged him to take you.”  
Petunia turned red, and Lily felt a small tingle of satisfaction. “Beg? I didn’t beg!”  
“I saw his reply. It was very kind,” Lily added.  
Petunia stared at her, and Lily gulped. Maybe she had gone too far. “You shouldn’t have read — that was my private — how could you?”  
Lily looked over at Severus before she could help it. Petunia followed her eyes and gasped.  
“That boy found it! You and that boy have been sneaking in my room!” Petunia was angry, more than she had been before. Lily felt no better.  
“No - not sneaking - Severus saw the envelope, and he couldn’t believe a Muggle could have contacted Hogwarts, that’s all!” Was that all? That’s what he had told her — what she had told herself. “He says there must be wizards working undercover in the postal service who take care of-"  
She had gone too far. Of course it had been too much. “Apparently wizards poke their noses in everywhere!” Petunia said. “Freak!” She walked away.  
[4] Lily’s mother came over. “Have you and Petunia been having a fight?”  
“No, Mam.” Lily swallowed. “Just saying goodbye.” She looked at the train. “I think we’ll be leaving soon. I’ll get on the train now.”  
Her mother wiped her eyes. “All right, dear. We love you very much. Have a good time at school.”  
Lily nodded and boarded the train. She found one of the interior compartments and huddled into the corner. There was no solving the problem between her and Petunia, was there? No. The train started to move. Well, that was it. There was no going back.  
Before long, the door opened, and Severus walked in. Lily shook her head and looked back at the countryside. She had never been in Scotland before.   
Severus would not go away. “I don’t want to talk to you,” she said, hoping it would make things clearer. However, he only leaned closer.  
“Why not?”  
“Tuney h-hates me. Because we saw that letter from Dumbledore.”  
“So what?”  
So what? So what? She just explained, didn’t she? “She’s my sister!” Really! But the wetness on Lily’s cheeks reminded her that anger was not her only emotion. She turned away so that it looked like it was.  
“But we’re going! This is it! We’re off to Hogwarts!”  
Lily nodded, as desperate to join in Severus’ happiness as he was to be happy. This was such a step for him — finally away from his father!  
“You’d better be in Slytherin,” he added.  
Lily nodded. They had talked about this. Then she heard a voice from behind her. “Slytherin?”  
It seemed her solitary thought had not been so solitary after all. Two dark-haired boys were in the same compartment.   
“Who wants to be in Slytherin?” one of them asked. “I think I’d leave, wouldn’t you?”  
“My whole family have been in Slytherin,” the other boy said.  
“Blimey! And I thought you seemed all right!”  
Severus had talked about this, about rivalries between some of the houses. And there was especially discord between Slytherin and -  
“‘Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!’ Like my dad.”  
Severus snorted, and Lily couldn’t blame him. Who was this person, really?  
“Got a problem with that?”  
“No. If you’d rather be brawny than brainy-"  
The second boy spoke up. “Where are you going, seeing as you’re neither?” And how did he know that? Or what was his problem with people being in Slytherin? A quarter of all the Hogwarts students went there. And his family did, too.  
Lily shook her head. She could not, she really could not, fight with her family and her classmates on the same day! She had been so excited! She rolled her eyes. “Come on, Sev, let’s find another compartment.”  
[5] She left, ignoring the two boys. The two of them walked down the aisle and found an open door.  
“Here, this should be much better,” Lily said, and she and Severus grinned and walked in the door.   
However, they found that the compartment was not empty either. There were four students inside, playing wizard chess.  
“Oi, look what we have here,” one of the boys said to the others. The tallest of them swaggered up to Lily and looked at her Muggle clothes. He said, “We don’t need Mudbloods like you here. Why don’t you go away?”  
Lily’s eyes filled with tears for the second time that day, and she stumbled out of the compartment. Luckily, the next compartment was empty, and Severus dragged her into it. Lily sank down on the seat and buried her face in her hands.  
“You said it wouldn’t matter! I asked you! I asked, and you said it wouldn’t!”  
Severus took a few minutes to respond. “Yes, I did. I did because it doesn’t matter, not what they think. You are still a witch. You will learn the same magic, the same spells, as anyone.”  
Lily pointed a shaky finger into the corridor. “But - that boy-"  
Severus shifted in his seat. “Mum did mention that principle. You know, you heard it too.”  
“Yeah, but she went to school so long ago.”  
“Yes, she was in school during the war against Grindelwald.”  
“I thought it would be better now.”  
“So did I. I grew up in the Muggle world, and I may read the Daily Prophet, but it doesn’t talk about stuff like this. I though that, with the war won, the principle was fixed too. But I guess I was wrong.”  
Lily sighed. “Yeah. That makes sense. I shouldn’t have bitten your head off like that, Sev.” She sighed. “I’ve just been so angry all day.”  
“Well,” Severus said, “I’m sorry, Lily. This was not how I wanted your introduction to the wizarding world to go.”  
Lily left to change before they got to Hogwarts. Going back, she said, “Sev, don’t worry about how everything turned out. It’s better this way. I mean, if there are issues we didn’t know about, it’s better to learn as soon as possible so we can fight them.” Lily paused. “Sev, that boy who was yelling at me — he had on Slytherin colours. You don’t think-"  
The train slowed and stopped. Lily and Severus stepped off the train, where a large (gigantic) man called for all the first years present. Severus said aside, “My mum didn’t say about him, but I think he might be one of the workers here. Like a gamekeeper, maybe.”  
He led them to a row of tiny boats. As they rounded the bend, Lily saw Hogwarts for the first time.   
Wales was full of castles. She had seen them and seen them. Yet somehow, Hogwarts seemed still stranger, older, more beautiful — even from across the lake. Lily noticed that Severus had a similar awestruck expression on his face.

 

[1] He must be a good professor.  
[2] He is a very good one.  
[3] Should I go?  
[4] The dialogue in this section can be found in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pages 669 and 670.  
[5] The dialogue in this section can be found in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pages 670 to 672.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

McGonagall called out, “Evans, Lily.” Lily looked over at Severus and made her way up to the hat. As she had seen others do before, she picked up the hat and set it on her head as she sat on the stool. She heard a small voice say, “Now, Lily,” and she paused. Was that the hat — or was it her? She squinted and did her best to stop whatever magic she was using.  
“No, Lily. You aren’t doing this, you see. I am. I need to see your magic. Now, where to place you?”  
Would she be in Slytherin? Sev had sounded so excited when he described it to her.  
“No, not Slytherin - that won’t work. And you wouldn’t like it. Hufflepuff? Ravenclaw? Gryffindor?”  
Lily shrugged and thought, “Then anywhere else is fine.”  
“Oh I see.” The hat seemed a bit - dejected? Did it have feelings?  
“Well, I might. But now - oh I see! Gryffindor!”  
Lily looked at Severus before she walked to the Gryffindor table. Well, he could always be in Gryffindor too, couldn’t he? As Lily reached the table, the only other new Gryffindor, Sirius Black, said hello. But Lily could not focus. She had a sinking feeling that the worst thing that could possibly happen would: she would have left her family and friends for this school, and she would not even have Sev to help her get used to it.  
Only a few names later, she saw that her fears had been realised. Severus headed off to the Slytherin table, just as he had told her he would. Lily gave him a small smile and moved her hand from the space beside her she had been saving. She then looked at her housemates, four girls and four boys.  
After dinner, several official-looking students introduced themselves as prefects and led them to the common room. Lily followed the prefects to Gryffindor House and saw her sleeping quarters. The five girls in the room all walked up to each other. It was like they all understood that they had to make friends with each other, but were unsure of how to do that. Mary Macdonald was telling Lupita and Anjali about her childhood in the Muggle world. Lily tried to join in.  
“McGonagall came to see me, too,” she said. “To recruit me to Hogwarts. I didn’t want to go at first.”  
“You didn’t?” Lupita asked. “Why?”  
“Well, I will be Marchioness of Anglesey, and -“   
“And you thought it was real.” Mary stretched. “I see. Me, they just made fun of me. So the Muggle world was much harder than this one will be.”  
Lily narrowed her eyes. “But this one shouldn’t be so simple either. You know, Mary, that as Muggle-borns, there is a conflict here we have to face.”  
“No way! You don’t get it, Lily. They were making fun of me every day. I had to leave that. So I am determined to make the best of what I find here.” She got up. “Now, excuse me.”   
“It was real,” Lily said to Anjali and Lupita. “It still is.” She scowled. “It is.”  
“In that world, maybe,” Anjali said. “I grew up here, so I don’t know.”  
“I did too,” said Lupita. “And in Spain.”  
“Ooh,” said Lily. “In what part of Spain?”  
“Extremadura,” said Lupita.  
“Cáceres?” asked Lily.  
Anjali stared back and forth between the two of them. Finally, she asked Lily, “You’ve been to Spain?”  
“A couple times. I have a few cousins who live in Galicia.” She shook her head. “I don’t know any Spanish, though.”  
Anjali looked back at Lupita. “So isn’t there a school like this in Spain? Why aren’t you at it?”  
“Not like this. There is one, but I decided I should go here instead. This is,” she smiled, “a much better school. So, you’re from here?”  
“Yes,” Anjali said. “My parents grew up in India, but I’ve only been there once.”  
Lily turned around to look at the girl in the corner. “And you, Amelia?”  
She shook her head. “Nothing special. I’m just Muggle-born, from England.”  
“Like the others,” Lupita said.  
Lily frowned. “Not like me.”  
“Sure,” Lupita said equitably.   
Lily raised her eyebrows. Rather than arguing with her new friend, she found her bed and went to sleep.

The next morning, Lily saw Severus at breakfast and tried to walk over to sit by him, but Anjali pulled her aside. “Lily, the Houses all eat at their own tables. You can see him after breakfast is over.”  
But Lily could not eat. She looked over at Severus, and he jerked his head toward the door. Lily followed him outside, and they sat down under a tree.  
“So,” Severus said, “Here we are.”  
“Yes, but in different houses. How can that have happened?” Lily shook her head. “I mean, here I am in Gryffindor. Gryffindor. Of course they had to put me where my robes would clash with my hair.”   
“You’ll look great, I’m sure,” Severus said.  
Lily sighed. “I guess it’ll go okay. I mean, Godric Gryffindor was a redhead too, right? And he made it work. You’re lucky, though. Green and black go really nicely together. I would’ve looked like a Christmas tree.”  
Severus looked into the distance. He added, “You and I, just as we are, will look so well together.”  
Lily nodded. “Of course. And we’ll still see each other every day for class.”  
“Right. It’s not the end of the world.”  
“Potions tomorrow, right?”  
“Yeah. At 10.”  
Severus stood. “Well, I’m off to my first ever class.”  
“Oh, what is it?”  
“History of Magic.”  
“Have fun!”  
Lily had a free period before her first class, so she stretched her legs and considered — her situation. Well, she had never thought that there wouldn’t be trouble for her in the wizarding world. But now she had to make sure her life in the Muggle world would go on too. She would meet with McGonagall. It wouldn’t be too hard to find times for her Welsh and harp lessons.  
Lily got up and headed to the castle to try to arrange those, when a hand pulled her back from the door. “Hello, Lily Evans,” a black-haired woman said.  
“Hello,” Lily said. “Who are you?”  
She tossed her hair behind one shoulder. “My name is Bellatrix Black. I believe you know my cousin, Sirius. He was Sorted into the same House as you, correct?”  
Lily frowned. “Yes, he was.”  
Bellatrix grinned. “I know, he can be a bit disagreeable, can’t he?”  
Lily wrinkled her nose. “See, he wasn’t that nice to my friend Sev.”  
“Ah, yes. Severus Snape. I know him.” Bellatrix leaned in. “See, Lily, the trouble with Sirius is that he thinks he is better than us, his family. But right or wrong, he belongs with us. I was wondering whether you could maybe talk to him about it.”  
“And he won’t talk to you?” Even Petunia had never gone that far from her family and her manners.  
She laughed. “No, he won’t. He may, though, listen to you.”  
“Why?” asked Lily.  
Bellatrix tilted her head. “You seem intelligent to me, Lily. I will watch your career at Hogwarts. As you develop into the student you should be, he will pay more and more attention.”  
“I-"  
Bellatrix widened her eyes. “Just talk to him. Please.”  
How could Lily say no to that? “All right, I will.”  
She moved back toward the forest. “Thank you, Lily.”  
Sure enough, in her first ever free period, Lily sought out Sirius Black. “Sirius, hello.”  
He nodded. “Evans.”  
How to begin this conversation? Lily said, “I was talking to this girl Bellatrix, and she said that-"  
He looked down. “She’s the one my parents appointed, isn’t she?”  
Lily began to wonder whether she had heard the whole story. “Appointed? For what?”  
“They heard I got into Gryffindor, and that worried them,” he laughed, “that I may fall apart from their evil ways. So they sent someone to bring me back.” He leaned forward. “So what did she seem like? Bellatrix?”  
Lily frowned. “Nice. She was polite to me. But she’s evil?”  
Lily moved to a nearby desk as their short Charms professor walked into the room. “Hello, class,” he said. “Now please take out your wands and consider the feather you have before you.”  
After a half hour of mumbling and wand movements, the class still had not made even one feather budge. But as Lily raised her wand yet again, it — flew — into the air above her.   
“Nicely done, Miss Evans!” the professor said.  
Lupita leaned over and asked, “Lily, what exactly did you try? Show me!”  
Lily blinked. What had she done so right? Holding her wand felt like — like the most natural thing in the world.  
“I don’t know,” she said to Lupita. “I was — happy.”  
And there it was. She was excelling, making friends without even having to try. Was this the way it was supposed to be?   
Lily found Severus again after dinner. His mournful expression, though, seemed to show that his first classes were not as much of a success. He only looked at her and shook his head when she asked how he was.  
Lily cleared her throat and tried again. “Sev, do you know anything about this Bellatrix Black?”  
“I’ve heard she was a little unhinged.” He leaned in closer. “So you saw her?”  
“She came up to me in the morning, just after you left. She seemed — polite, and certainly not insane.”  
Severus frowned. “What did she say?”  
“She asked me to talk to Black. To bring him around to the family.”  
“Did you?”  
“I did. He said she was evil.” Lily looked up. “How can someone seem nice and be evil?”  
“You are a smart, friendly person, Lily,” Severus said. “When people see you, they want to be nice to you. But remember what you told me about the Davenports?”  
Lily though back to a year ago. “That they were nice to me but mean to Anna and Charles?”  
Severus said, “Anyone can be nice to people they need somehow. It’s how they act to the rest that matters.”  
“Right.” Lily looked down the hall. “I’ll wait and see with Bellatrix, then.”

Lily spent the next few days enjoying the feeling of doing well in her classes. At the end of her first Transfiguration class, though, Lily stayed back rather than going to the Great Hall to eat lunch. McGonagall asked, “Yes, Miss Evans? What is it?”  
Lily was accustomed to speaking to intimidating individuals in Wales, but she still looked away as she said, “Professor, I would like to arrange a meeting with Professor Dumbledore, please.”  
McGonagall cleaned her glasses. “And why would this be? Are you settling in to Gryffindor all right?”  
Lily straightened. “Yes, Professor, of course. There are no problems with my classes here. I just wanted to talk to him about the situation I mentioned to you.”  
McGonagall sighed. “The one regarding travel between Hogwarts and Anglesey?”  
Lily nodded. “Between Hogwarts and Ynys Môn, yes. The prefects told me that the common room fires are connected to the Floo Network, but I would imagine that a student would need to obtain express permission to leave the grounds and to return.”  
McGonagall said, “That is quite true, Miss Evans. You also do well to seek Professor Dumbledore. He will want to handle this request himself, I am sure. Is there anything else?”  
“Yes,” Lily said. She paused and added, “He also wrote a letter to my sister. Professor, when can I meet with him to discuss all this?”  
McGonagall raised her eyebrows. “A letter?” Lily nodded. “I will talk to him and check on what time would suit him best. We will send you a note by owl when we know the meeting time.”  
Sure enough, the mail the next morning included a short message from McGonagall, informing Lily that she would meet with Dumbledore during her free period that afternoon.  
After her first History of Magic class (which was every bit as dull as Severus had seemed to suggest), Lily wandered to the headmaster’s office, wondering what sort of man he was. The letter he had written to Petunia seemed nice enough, but she had never met him before. Would he be as strict and particular as McGonagall? Likely so. The position of headmaster was a very bureaucratic one. Reaching the top of the stairs, Lily knocked at the door and entered as it swung open for her.  
Dumbledore sat behind the desk in the study, and he invited Lily to sit in one of the chairs. “Good afternoon, Professor,” she said.  
“Good afternoon, Miss Evans. Professor McGonagall informs me that you have two matters to discuss.”  
“Yes, sir. Thank you for meeting with me to discuss these. The first is my wish to be able to travel between my home Ynys Môn and Hogwarts during the weekends. Professor McGonagall told me that that would be possible during her visit to my home, but she added that I should discuss the matter with you before doing so.”  
“This is an unusual request, Miss Evans. Professor McGonagall has informed me on her visit, so I understand why it might be something you would wish. However, I must warn you that it may fragment your time between the two places such that it would become disagreeable to you.”  
“But sir,” Lily protested, “I fully understand the value of an education here, and I would not miss any classes. I would just like to return one weekend per month.”  
“Of course. As a student here, you are not held hostage. You are free to come and go as you please. However, this arrangement is one that is temporary for now. I would recommend that you speak each year with Professor McGonagall on your progress, to see how Hogwarts is achieving its goal of creating a fully prepared adult witch.”  
Lily nodded. “Yes, sir. Those meetings will work for me. That way I will be able to learn both at Hogwarts and at home.” She paused. “But sir, for the actual movement, is there a specific fire I should use?”  
“As you told Professor McGonagall, the Gryffindor common room fire is connected to the Floo Network. However, such a public departure and return might unsettle to the other Gryffindor students. I think it would be preferable if you were to use the fire in Professor McGonagall’s office for your transfers. Would this work?”  
“Yes, thank you, sir.”  
“You will also need to meet with Professor McGonagall again. She will give you the help we mentioned in keeping the Statute of Secrecy.”  
Lily nodded.  
“So, please explain this second matter.”  
Lily sighed. “Yes, sir. I do not know if you remember, but my sister, Petunia Evans, sent you a letter, and you sent her a reply.” He nodded. “I read the response you sent. It was very kind to her. However, it raised some questions as to the extent of your communication.”  
Dumbledore looked down at her. “Miss Evans, I would prefer to respect your sister Petunia’s privacy in this matter. But I think I can safely say that her letter to me was as polite as my reply. In it, she mentioned some disagreement between the two of you.”  
“Yes, sir. I hope that she did not make any judgments of my character?”  
Dumbledore spread his hands. “She did not. Moreover, she made it clear that any disagreement she has with you does not affect her view of me or of other witches and wizards.”  
Lily stared, amazed. “Sir, do you think it likely that these communications will continue?”  
“I suspect not. But really, there is no way to tell which persons will be important to your future. Therefore, a part of me thinks that I might, and is heartened by the courteous beginning to our conversation.”  
“Thank you, sir.” Lily rose from her seat. Dumbledore smiled. “Of course, Miss Evans. Is there anything else I can do for you?”  
“No, thank you, sir.”  
“Very well. And how are you settling into your classes and your house - Gryffindor, correct?”  
“Yes, sir. My year is beginning smoothly.”  
“Wonderful.”  
Lily went back down the stairs and to the common room. Once there, she pulled out her Astronomy textbook. There were so many wizarding families with last names — and first names — owing their roots to star names. What would be the connection between her magic and the class? And why was it held at midnight? Lily looked at the star charts. The stars visible in Hogwarts were no different from the ones she had seen in Wales. Did wizards and Muggles see different stars? Was that it?  
The next week, McGonagall told Lily, “Please stay back a moment, and we will discuss your visits to Ynys Môn.”  
Once the room had emptied, she said, “Now, I am sure you remember my mention of the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy on my visit to your house. I also mentioned that I would offer assistance to you in keeping knowledge of this school from Muggles.”  
“Yes. I assume that I will tell them about a different school I am attending.” Lily said glumly. “I can hardly tell them that I’m not in school. So, which school do I go to?”  
McGonagall cleaned her glasses. “The name of the school closest in geographic location to Hogwarts is St. Andrew’s. It is a Scottish school, but to express to others that you are still learning Welsh, you can say that its specialisation is in languages. Can you help me come up with three or so languages you might learn?”  
“Well, since it’s a Scottish school, surely the first foreign language it would be typical to learn would be Scots Gaelic, right?”  
“Yes.” McGonagall looked at her sternly. “Do you know any?”  
Lily shook her head. “I’m afraid, Professor, that I just know a bit of Irish. However, it is not likely that I would find speakers of Scots Gaelic in Llanfair.” McGonagall tilted her head, and Lily added, “If I find the case to be otherwise, I will ask you for lessons.”  
“Very well. What about the other two?” McGonagall asked.  
Lily thought. What languages did she know? “Well, of course Welsh will be one. And for the other - I think Spanish.”  
“Not French?”  
Lily pursed her lips. “No. Even though I know a good amount of French, my studies will not allow me to keep it up in a way that will satisfy my near-fluent friends. It will be much easier to pretend a knowledge of Spanish.”  
McGonagall raised her eyebrows. “Very well. I think that covers what you will need for now — we will discuss this further later. Now, when would you like to have your first visit?”  
“I was thinking this weekend, Professor. Would that work?”  
“That would work, Miss Evans,” McGonagall said. “Please stop by my office at the end of your classes on Friday.”  
“Thank you, Professor.”

When Lily first began Hogwarts, she thought that every day would be interesting and full of fun. However, she soon saw that that was not the case.   
It was a dreary day, and hardly anyone was paying attention to the History of Magic class, or even displaying signs of consciousness. As Professor Binns droned on about the formation of the Ministry of Magic, Lily glanced ahead of her, in a vain hope to see anything more than tilted heads and slight patches of drool. Exasperated, Lily peered to her right and left, straining to see each of her dorm-mates: Lupita, Anjali, Amelia, and Mary – all, sadly, fast asleep. Disappointed, Lily then turned behind her in desperation. Surely she wasn’t the only one determined enough to give the class a fair trial before admitting defeat!    
After a few moments of blind hope, Lily finally found what she so desperately wanted to see. Sure, James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew were all sound asleep, but the boy beside them - Remus Lupin – was not. Instead, he was scribbling down notes, his quill moving with a ferocity rivalling that of Lily’s own.   
When Remus finished his paragraph, he looked up. For just a moment, his eyes met Lily’s, and she blushed and turned back to the front of the class. By the time she had herself convinced that it was safe to look back again, his head was bent over his notes, and he did not look up.   
At the end of class, as the other students were leaving (looking not a little relieved to escape), Remus raised his hand to give Lily a wave. She inclined her head in reply.   
As Lily began to walk to her next class, she wondered idly when she would meet Remus Lupin again.   
  For the next three days, he was nowhere to be found. Just when Lily had all but convinced herself that seeing him on the train and in class were only wild figments of her imagination, she turned a corner to go to Transfiguration and there he was, leaning against the wall by the door.   
Lily’s first impulse  was to walk past him to her seat, but a voice in her head stopped her.   
Okay, it said, you need this, you know you do. And you know you can. You are in Gryffindor. It will be okay.   
Before her mind changed again, Lily marched directly up to Remus Lupin, who looked over at her in questioning interest.   
“So,” she began, “I see you are looking for notes for the days you missed.”   
His face blanched and began to show concern.   
“No, it’s okay,” Lily said. “I’m sure you have a good reason for missing class. I just meant that if you would like notes, here mine are.”   
With shaking hands, she held out her notes to Remus, who took them eagerly.   
“I will give these right back,” he said. “Thanks, Lily. James and Sirius are good students, but they don’t take quite so many notes. And none in History of Magic.”   
Lily merely pushed the notes into his hand and headed to her seat, wondering as she did so why her tongue had seemed too clumsy to reply.   
  There were many incidents of that nature. It seemed that he always had to visit an ill relative or to talk to his father. At first Lily thought it was odd that he was away so much. But then, wasn’t she almost always travelling between Hogwarts and Wales? Surely there was a simpler explanation. She talked over Remus’ mother’s variable health with him, but as she did so she could not shake the feeling that he was trying to tell her something. But what could he want to say? If his mother wasn’t ill, what was it? Could he be sick with something? Lily spent the next week researching all of the diseases that could possibly affect wizards. However, none of the conditions listed seemed to match the symptoms of going away often, feeling the need to lie about why he was there, and returning with extra scars and a seemingly unshakeable tiredness.   
The next week, she went to see Madam Pomfrey. “Yes, what is it?” she asked.  
“You see, Remus Lupin is absent from class very often. Do you see him here much?”  
“Miss Evans,” she said slowly, “I cannot give you the information of when and how often a student is in hospital.”  
“Not to anyone? I just want to make sure he is all right. He sometimes seems tired as well. I am asking as his friend, you see.”  
“It is good of you to ask, dear, and good that he has friends here. However, I am afraid that I cannot tell you.”  
“Right. Thanks.”  
The next day, she was at the door again. “Madam Pomfrey, I am feeling a bit run-down myself.” As Madam Pomfrey guided her to a bed to rest, Lily caught sight of Remus, sitting on another.  
Okay, so his mother was not really ill — he was. But why wouldn’t he say? Perhaps because it was embarrassing. Lily thought back. She had bought what seemed to be every book in existence on the wizarding world, but there was no mention of such an embarrassing illness. In the lists, also, even in the medical tomes, there was no trace of such a disease. So it was not an illness? But then, why would he need the help of Madam Pomfrey?

At five that Friday, Lily walked into McGonagall’s office, shaking. McGonagall walked to the door.  
“Welcome, Miss Evans. Please have a seat.” She picked up a mound of dust. “This is known as Floo Powder. It allows instantaneous transition, as I mentioned, from one place to another. I have your house hooked up to the network, so that shouldn’t be a problem.  
“Miss Evans, the Floo is a very precise method of transportation. It does not require a refined level of magic the way Apparition does, but it is common for first-time Floo users to encounter difficulty of some sort. Therefore, this time and only this time, I think your stay should be a shorter one. I will stay here until you return, to help remedy any problems.” She handed Lily the bit of powder, adding, “Just throw that onto the fire and then tell it where you want to go.”  
It seemed to Lily barely any time at all before returned to McGonagall’s office. “There,” the professor said. “It should go much more easily the next time. Was your stay successful?”  
“Yes, thank you, professor,” Lily said, walking out of the room. Horses. She needed horses. Lily ran outside, tears forming on her face. A mountain of a man who she recognised as the gamekeeper began to walk to her. “All right there? What’s wrong?”  
She wiped her face hastily. “You are Mr. Hagrid, correct? I am Lily Evans, a first-year student. Do you have any horses?”  
“O’course. Thestrals? Unicorns?”  
“No, regular Muggle horses, for horseback riding.”  
“Yes. Here’s the stables.”  
“Right. Thank you, Mr. Hagrid.”  
“Jus’ Hagrid is fine, Lily. You know how to ride, then?”  
“Hagrid, I have been riding since I was born. Yes, I know how. I can saddle the horse as well. Where is the tack for the horses?”  
He pointed to the row of saddles. “Right here. All set?”  
Lily nodded. “All set,” she said firmly.  
“A’right. Here you go, then.”  
Lily chose a mare and began to ride to the Quidditch pitch. Really, what had they been thinking! Of course she still knew how to ride, and hunt. Why would they shame her in that way? Her own family. They knew what she had to do. She worked twice as hard as anyone else there to make sure she knew everything she needed for the wizarding world and the Muggle one. And this was just her first time travelling back — she’d get it all sorted! The mare snorted in agreement. Surely she would. One weekend each month was no small amount of time, after all. Right, so - Lily rode around the Quidditch pitch. It was time to go back before her next class. She’d already messed up at home — she couldn’t here too.  
Hagrid met her as soon as she had returned to the stables. “You feelin’ better, then?” he asked.  
“Much,” Lily said firmly. And - she did feel better. More tired, but better. “I put all the tack back up. Hope it’s all in the right places. Well, I have a class now.”  
“But yeh’ll be back, right?”  
“I will.”  
In Lily’s head, the words “Dw i’n isio mynd adre[1]” formed. And with a start, she realised that by “home” she meant her room here.   
It became a weekly occurrence - Lily would go out, ride around for an hour, and then have tea with Hagrid. After her first attempt with his scones, though, she learned that she should just stick to the tea. Hagrid also showed her many of the magical creatures on the Hogwarts grounds and even introduced her to the lake’s giant squid. “Be careful i’ the lake,” he said. “She’s patient with people in the shallow water, and she gets along with the merpeople, bu’ don’ go in the deep end.”  
Lily nodded. “D’yeh know how to swim?”  
“Yes, Hagrid.” I live on an island, Lily thought.  
“Good.”  
The next meeting, “An’ wha’ about dragons? Ever seen them?”  
“I saw some. They were guarding the vaults at Gringotts.” Lily pointed to a few here. “Are there many?”  
“A few.”  
“We learn about them in the Muggle world, you know. But we always think of them as mythical.”  
“Yeah, I heard abou’ that. Most of the mythical creatures you read about are real."  
“They are?”  
“Well, why do yeh think the stories are there?”  
“Good point.” Lily stood. “Well, I’ve got to go. I have Transfiguration.”  
“Ah, can’ be late to that!”  
Lily skipped down the steps, wondering what else Hagrid might know — that no one else did.

 

[1] I want to go home.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

If Lily’s first trip back to Plas Newydd was a slight malfunction in Lily’s plans, it was nothing compared to her Christmas. One of the first things Lily did when she got back was meet with Anna and Charles for tea. The two of them were bursting with stories about their new schools, Anna about her new school in Cardiff and Charles about his in England. When they asked Lily about her school, they were surprised to learn that it was in Scotland and allowed Lily to travel back so much of the school year. “Why, it’s a wonder you spend any time at the school at all!” said Anna. “Anyway, what is your school’s specialisation? Mine is history.”   
“Well,” Lily mumbled, “there is a lot of history at my school as well.”  
When it became clear she was not going to say anything else, Charles added, “Yes, well, mine does quite a bit of mathematics. I was learning just the other day about algebra, when the professor had to give me detention for….” He looked at the puzzlement on Lily’s face. “You do know what algebra is, don’t you?”  
“Well….”  
“Really, what school do you go to? It must not be like mine — it’s the best school ever!”  
Lily could hardly think of what to say. Yes, they had helped her some making up stories at Hogwarts, but — saying it all straight out was so different from what she had imagined. Was that what her life would be? And if her friends were like that, how would it be with everyone else?  
Lily bent to check her watch. “Oh, I have to be home at 6,” she said. “I know - I’ll try and make more time next time.” She stood and walked home. At home, there was still a long wait to supper, and no one had really needed her at home. Lily went up to her bedroom and began her Christmas homework. Once supper finally began, her mother asked, “How are Anna and Charles doing?”  
Lily shrugged. “Fine.”  
“And Petunia, it’s so good to have you home from school!”  
“Yeah,” Petunia said morosely. “My lovely Welsh school is doing fine too.”  
“And Lily,” their father asked, “do you miss Wales much in the school year?”  
“I’m here much of the school year!” Lily protested.  
“Yes, I suppose so. Still, it’s not quite the same, is it?”  
“No, not quite.” Lily sighed. “I do miss being here for so long, of course. But here I am now, for a good long stay.”  
“Right,” he said. “Then tomorrow, we should go to check on the mayor. He told me he wanted us to look into something for him.”  
“So,” her mother asked, “how is everything? How are Charles and Anna?”  
“Very excited about their new schools. And they want to hear all about mine. I don’t know what to tell them.”  
“But didn’t McGonagall help you with that?” Mrs. Evans asked.  
Lily sighed. “She did. She does. But - it’s lying! I don’t want to do it.”  
Petunia snorted. “Then maybe you should’ve gone to another school.”  
“Petunia…,” her father said in a warning tone. Her mother added, “What was your year like, dear?”  
Petunia shrugged. “The same as all years.”  
Mrs. Evans grabbed Petunia’s hand. “It must’ve been exciting to make prefect!”  
“I guess. I’m doing well with typing, at least.” Petunia shrugged. “And some of my classmates are going to this course in London after they graduate.”  
“So you won’t stay here?” asked her father, a frown on his face.  
“Why should I? Before, my future, my life was here. But now it’s not, so I have to make my own way.”  
“We’ll miss you,” her mother added. “Maybe you should spend some time with us right when you graduate, first.”  
Petunia shrugged. “Maybe.”  
Lily felt again the inexplicable weight of guilt. It wasn’t her fault that Hen Daid had chosen her over Petunia - really, it wasn’t! But now her parents were losing both their daughters, because of her.  
Mrs. Evans saw Lily’s face. “You’re not leaving us,” she said. “As long as you come back so many times in the school year, you are never really gone.”  
But if she had to lie even to her closest friends, was she really there?  
“Excuse me,” said Lily.  
The next week, Charles and Anna decided to try meeting up again. Lily went to eat lunch with them.  
“So maybe you can explain your school to us,” said Anna. “For some reason, it didn’t quite make sense before.”  
“Right,” said Lily. “The first thing you need to understand is that my school is a little different from others.”  
“Yes,” said Charles. “I have never heard of it before. What was it called again?”  
“St. Andrew’s, in Scotland.” Lily took another bite. “It’s a specialised school — that’s why you don’t really hear about it.”  
Anna raised her eyebrows. “Really? Does it teach Welsh?”  
Lily nodded. “Welsh and harp, along with the regular subjects.”  
Charles leaned forward. “So where are you in mathematics?”  
Lily thought hard. “In algebra, just like you were saying the other day.” She paused. “So what was your detention for, anyway?”  
“I was late to class,” he said. “Not the most difficult detention ever, I know, but ….”  
“Right,” said Lily. “One of our staff keeps telling us that detentions have gotten far too lax. He preferred the days of dungeons and chains.” Charles and Anna leaned in closer.  
“What?” Anna asked. “He remembers those days?”  
Lily fidgeted in her seat. “Well… not exactly.”  
“Then why does he talk like that?”  
Lily opened her mouth a few times, trying to think of something to say.  
“That’s all right,” Anna said kindly. “You don’t need to explain your school to us. Charles and I were just leaving.”  
Lily raced home, where she ran into her mother.  
“Lily?” she asked. “What’s wrong?”  
Lily hugged her mother. “Charles and Anna….”  
“Did you have a fight with them?” she asked.  
Lily shook her head. “No. Not really.”  
“Then what is it?”  
Lily lifted her face. “Mam, why do I have to lie to them? They can tell I’m lying, you know.”  
“So you want to go to another school? One you could tell your friends about?” Mrs. Evans handed Lily her shawl. “You can, if you really want to. I think you should try it just a little longer, but we can always get you into another school.”  
“But - I like Hogwarts. I know I didn’t want to go at first, but I like it now.” She paused. “I just don’t want to choose — between there and here.”  
“Oh, Lily.” Her mother gathered her into her arms. “I think this system — where you come home once a month — works. It has its hardships, I know, just as everything does. But we’ll watch it carefully, okay? And if it needs to change somehow — you can do that.”  
They sat together until Mr. Davies called them to tea.  
Lily did not see Charles and Anna again until Christmas. Mr. Evans, as every year, invited the townspeople to a party at his house to celebrate the holiday. There, the two of them were talking together, about their respective schools. Lily walked up to them. “So, how are you?”   
Anna replied, “Ready to go back to school soon. What about you? Ready to go back all the way to Scotland?”  
“Yes,” Lily said excitedly.   
“Looking forward to meeting up with your friends at school?” Charles asked.  
“Sort of. But I am here so much, that”  
“Right. How does that work? I mean, it takes a full day to travel, right?”  
“Not quite,” Lily said. How would she explain that? “Look, they’re getting the Christmas trees ready for tomorrow. Let’s go see!”

Lily met Hagrid later that week for tea. In the dead of winter, the sun went down earlier than either Hagrid or Lily was expecting. As howls began to echo from the forest, Hagrid said, “Lily, best get in b’fore everything comes on out. Go on.”  
“Like what? Like werewolves?”  
Hagrid pointed to the forest. “Don’ know about werewolves, Lily, bu’ there’s all sorts there.”  
“Hagrid,” Lily asked, “what are werewolves? Are they — are they wizards?”  
“Yes,” Hagrid said slowly. “They ge’ the bite, and then it all is diff’rent.”  
Lily felt that what Hagrid had just said, and the way he was looking at her, were summarily important. “Right. Good night then,” she said, as she entered the castle.   
Lily sank down on a chair in the common room. Yes, it was important — but why? Such a person would not be able to be seen — would live apart as those in the Enchanted Forest, right?   
But then Remus walked up the stairs.  
Lily clasped her hands over her mouth. Oh! Remus was tired. He had to go away, and lied about the reasons. At the full moon! And Hagrid had looked at her like that because he knew too! Did Dumbledore, then? Surely he did. And McGonagall?  
But wasn’t that very, very cruel? To tease him with the education, when he had no future?  
Lily marched up to McGonagall’s office, her hands shaking almost too much to knock. McGonagall looked up from her desk. “Miss Evans? Come in.”  
Lily closed the door behind her and walked up to the desk. “Professor,” she asked, “I was wondering about — do you know — that is — about Remus Lupin?”  
McGonagall closed her book. “What have you found out about him?”  
“Well,” Lily stammered, “he has to go away a lot.”  
McGonagall said, “No more than you, I think.”  
Lily screwed up her courage. “Yes, but… Professor, I actually go away. He doesn’t.”  
McGonagall looked down her glasses. Lily said, “I just wanted to be sure you knew that.”  
“Miss Evans, whatever you think the situation with Mr. Lupin is, I promise you I know it.” She added, “So what do you think is the situation here?”  
Lily looked down. In a low voice, she muttered, “Werewolf.”  
McGonagall looked up sharply. She said, “What was that, Miss Evans?”  
Lily raised her head. “I think that Remus Lupin is a werewolf.”  
McGonagall did not move. “I see. And what makes you think that?”  
“But Professor, you did know, right?” Lily asked.  
“I know all of my students, Miss Evans. All about every one. Can you answer, please, what it was that brought you to this train of thought?”  
“Just a lot of being in the right place at the right time. We live in the same tower, Professor.”  
“I see.” McGonagall straightened her glasses. “Well, Miss Evans, I cannot tell you whether this is true. It would be a matter between you and him.”  
“Yes.” Lily stayed seated. McGonagall asked, “Miss Evans, is there something else?”  
Lily shifted in her seat. “You see, Professor, the werewolves here all stay in the Forbidden Forest. They do not have jobs and are not even, according to my extensive reading, acknowledged by society. I think that it is cruel to give Remus this chance now, when you will snatch it back again after seven years.”  
McGonagall took a deep breath. “Miss Evans, it does you credit that you consider so seriously the needs of the other students. However, I would not be quite so quick to forestall Mr. Lupin’s chances at a fulfilling life. Whatever his situation, you must remain assured that Hogwarts concerns itself with the entire lives of all its students, not just the time you study with us.”  
Lily looked down at the desk. “Right. Thanks.”  
Lily spent the next few days in deep thought. Should she talk to Remus about this? Considering it all, Lily became so absent-minded that she almost missed Severus’ offer.  
“Lily. Want to study for the finals?”  
“Sure - er, what did you say?”  
“I said, do you want to study in the library?”  
Lily nodded. “Sure. Sounds good.”  
They passed Remus in the hallway. Severus pointed. “He’s certainly away a lot, isn’t he?”  
“Oh, Sev, I’m sure it isn’t anything special.”  
But - should she tell Severus? He wouldn’t make a big deal of it, Lily was sure of that. But was it her right to tell him? She should talk to Remus first, and let him decide. But Remus didn’t know Severus like she did. He might not understand. But wasn’t it dangerous for him not to know? Or was it? Surely if the teachers knew, it was okay. Right?  
Fortunately, Severus did not seem too bothered by Remus’ mystery. “Let’s start with Charms. I know you can really help me out there, right?”  
Lily blinked. Time to focus on her studies. They were all there to learn after all, right? “Sure I can, Sev. Now the last thing we learned in class was-"

But even after a summer in Ireland, Lily still could not get Remus’ condition out of her mind. That night, she looked out of her window — almost moon. She would wait for the full moon, then — and then she would see.  
“Madam Pomfrey?” Lily said almost a month later, even before breakfast. “I think I have a headache. And my stomach feels upset. I’d like to lie down, please.”  
As soon as Madam Pomfrey graciously helped Lily to her bed and went to mix potions, Lily looked around, and sure enough, Remus was there, in a curtained-off room. It was not long until he woke up.  
“Lily?” he croaked. “Lily – why are you here?” he gasped.   
“Why are you here?” Lily retorted bluntly. Gathering her strength for a moment, she went on.   
“Remus, I’m here because I’m your friend. And I think I know why you’re here. But you have to tell me.”   
Remus was silent for a long time. After what seemed an eternity, he asked, “Why?”   
But before Lily could answer, his eyes closed. She tapped his shoulder. “Remus?” No response. “Remus!”  
Lily ran off in search of Madam Pomfrey. “Yes, dear?” the witch asked. “No upset stomach, then?”  
“No,” Lily admitted. Madam Pomfrey gave her a knowing look. “I see. Don’t worry about Mr. Lupin, then. He just needs to rest, and then he’ll be all right.” She patted Lily’s shoulder. “Why don’t you come back in an hour or two?”   
Fortunately, Lily had a free period after breakfast. She was there as soon as Remus’ eyes opened again.  
“Remus,” she began. “Tell me about our friendship.”   
“Well…” he started. “I can stay awake in History of Magic?”   
“No!” Lily snapped. Then she paused to think it over. “Well, yes,” she admitted. “But now it is so much more than just that. You and I, we talk. You do things for me, and I do things for you. Problems seem smaller when we face them together.”   
“So,” Remus asked warily, “what is it that I do for you?”   
Lily thought. Then her face cleared, and she smiled. “You make me feel better when I’m sad. You help me focus. You always, always believe in me. You look at things in ways I don’t.   
“What we still need in our friendship is an element of trust. Look, it’s okay; I won’t walk away. But you need to know that you can tell me anything, even this.”   
The tower was silent for a few minutes. Then Lily plucked up her courage and continued.   
“Look, Remus, it’s okay. I already know. You don’t have to tell me. But I won’t believe it until I hear it from you.   
“You see, that’s what we can do for each other. You can tell me you trust me with everything. I can make it easier to tell people. Since I already know, you know I’m not going anywhere. It’ll take away your fear of losing your friends. And then, the next time you have new friends to tell, it’ll be less scary because you’ve already done it. And, also, we can make the problem smaller by looking at it together, like we do with everything else.”   
Silence fell once more. Remus looked at Lily, and she gazed steadily back. She opened her mouth to speak, but Remus beat her to it.   
“Okay,” he said. “Okay. Lily …”   
Lily’s eyes flashed in understanding. “Yes, Remus?”   
“I …I go out a few times every month, and I come back bruised and beaten. You are my friend, and I think you should know why.”   
Lily reached out and touched his arm. “Remus …”   
He looked over at her, and then he bit his lip and turned away. In a low voice, he muttered, “Lily, I’m a werewolf.”   
Lily blinked back tears and looked up at the stars. “Remus, I know.”   
Remus sighed. “So now we — we shouldn’t be friends, right?”   
Lily knew her next question right away. “Does Dumbledore know?”   
Remus tilted his head like he did not even understand what she was saying or why. “What?”   
Seemingly ignoring Remus’ confusion, Lily hurtled straight on, not even pausing to breathe.    
“If he knows you’re a werewolf — which I’m sure he does — he would’ve thought of this already. He could never risk Hogwarts or its students, not even a tiny bit. So he must know what you’ve chosen to ignore — that during the vast majority of the month, you’re not dangerous — or at least no more so than any other boy your age. So we’ll just see each other when you’re not transformed. That should work just fine.”    
She finally took a long breath and straightened her back, clearly proud of herself.    
Remus, however, squinted as though trying to understand something difficult. “Really?”   
Lily smiled at him. “Really. So there you have it, incontrovertible proof that you can have friends. And why would I want to lose you? You don’t know this, Remus, but you’re a really good friend.”   
She hugged Remus with such force that it nearly knocked him off his feet.   
At breakfast the next morning, Lily handed Remus a piece of paper. Remus glanced at it and saw that it was filled with handwritten notes about lycanthropy.    
He looked up at Lily, aghast. “You didn’t do all this research last night, did you?”   
Lily smiled and shook her head. “Some of it — yes. Most of it — no.”   
Remus looked up at her. “How long have you known?”   
Lily shrugged. “Awhile.”   
“And until now…”   
“I never said anything. Until I could tell it was hurting you not to tell me, it didn’t really matter. So I researched it, so I could help you when the time came.”   
He looked back down at the parchment. Lily bit her lip, hoping the information there was useful to him. She had written a hodgepodge of notes on the History of  Lycanthropy, pain-relief charms, glamours to hide injuries. He turned the paper over. Lily grinned. More practical help. On the back was a list of excuses, both Muggle and wizarding, for his absences and subsequent unkempt appearances. Finally, Lily had written her schedule and had added, in a firm hand, “I expect you to find me.”   
After Lily heard Remus’ secret, she stayed with him for days, hardly ever leaving his side. She  began to hear things about it from his other friends, especially sidelong looks from James. Severus also pulled her aside one day after Potions. “So, you’re spending a lot of time with Remus.”  
“We’ve become very good friends. He helps me in class.”  
“And you help him? You give him notes?”  
Lily rolled her eyes. “Yes, I help him when he has to leave. What of it?”  
“I hear things, you know.”  
“What?”  
“Oh, I’m sure you hear it too.”  
Lily paid extra attention to the next week, and sure enough, Severus was right. There were a few stares and sounds of “Ooh…” when Lily and Remus went to study together, or eat together, or talk outside. After a few days, she decided to talk to Remus about it.  
“Why do they care what we do together?”  
“Are they bothering you about it too?”  
“Not much. But do you know more about it than I do?”  
“Well….” Remus looked away. Lily forced his head back. “What is it?”  
“Um, they think I like you.” He added, “I don’t.”  
Lily stopped walking. Remus asked, “Are you okay?”  
“Well, one of my friends just told me he doesn’t like me, but….”  
“You know what I mean! We’re really good friends. I trust you a lot. Especially now.”  
Lily smiled. “Yes, I know. It’s all right — don’t worry, Remus.” But he still seemed a little pale, so she added, “We’re good friends, and we’ll stay that, no matter what anyone else says.” She frowned. “Why does James even care, though? It’s not like I’ve ever been all that nice to him or anything.”  
Remus gulped. “Well, see — he’ll tell you soon, I think.”  
The Common Room was full of students that day. As soon as Lily was able to push through the students to make her way up the stairs, she saw that the way was not as clear as she had hoped. James stood between the banisters, just at the bottom of the stairs.   
“Lily Evans!” he yelled.   
All of the commotion instantly stopped.   
“Yes, Potter?” she asked.   
“I know that I, and I alone, hold the key to your affections, and on this day every year, I will seek to remind you in a public fashion.”   
Lily placed her hands on her hips. “And is that supposed to persuade me to date you somehow?”   
“My method cannot fail,” he said, grinning.  
“Just because Remus found a friend that wasn’t you, you decide that you want it for yourself?” she asked. “James Potter, I am not an object, not Remus’ or yours or anyone’s.”  
She moved to go up the stairs, but James still blocked her path. “Now let me up,” she said.  
“No! Not until you agree that it will work,” he insisted. The common room turned as a unit to see what Lily would say.  
She rolled her eyes and pulled out her wand. James gasped and dashed from the stairs. Lily opened the door to her dormitory, hoping for some peace and quiet. But there was no relief to be found.   
Anjali, Lupita, Mary, and Amelia all sat grinning on their beds. “So,” Anjali asked, “Potter or Lupin?”  
“And what about you and Black?” Lily asked. “The whole thing is just made up, I promise.”  
Amelia gave her a long look. “I’m not so sure about that.”  
“And why?” Lily asked. “Why do people ask about Remus? We’re just good friends.”  
“I have good friends too,” Mary said. “I can go through two hours together without seeing them, though.”  
“So why don’t people think that about Sev and me?”  
“Oh, I’m sure he likes you,” Mary said. “But the two of you are friends because you were before Hogwarts, right?”  
“Well - yes.”  
Anjali added, “That’s different, see. And the bit with Remus got so much stronger all at once.”  
“But - he doesn’t like me! And neither does Sev!”  
Lupita took her hands. “Lily - he does. Even if this thing with Remus is just made up, I still know Severus does.”  
“How do you know that?”  
Lupita stuck her nose in the air. “Womanly intuition.” She laughed. “No, really, Lily, I - I just do.”  
“Right.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

Lily whirled around and paced the empty common room. “Listen to me, Remus! They are not going to care!”  
“Why not?” Remus asked.  
“Because - because - I didn’t.” Lily saw the stubborn expression on Remus’ face and sighed. “Look, you have to have friends. And I am a good one, but I am only one. Or do you have any other friends, good friends?”  
He shook his head. “They are my friends, but I can’t keep this friendship going if I can’t tell then.”  
Lily said, “Right. That is why you should do that.”  
“But if I tell them, they won’t want to be my friends.” He dropped his head.  
“But they need you, you know.” Lily shook her head. “I doubt any one of them could take decent notes in class without you. That’s not the point, though. You are just going to tell them that you have a disease.”  
“One that could kill them.”  
Lily sighed. “I thought we’d been over this before. You won’t hurt them. Look, I’ve been with you every day since you told me. And you haven’t hurt me, right?”  
“Because you’re careful.”  
Lily sat across the table from him. “Well, they can be too. I don’t like Potter and them — at all, really, but they are at least intelligent. So you will not put them in any danger.” She paused. “And if they are so intelligent, they will see you as their equal, with this situation or without it.”  
“Right. Well, I’ll just see if they think they might know.”  
“No!” Lily slammed her hand down on the table. “You need to tell them.”  
Remus asked again, “Why? I mean, I know it was different for you.”  
“Because there are people you will need to tell later.”  
“But I thought it didn’t make any difference.”  
“Remus, I am allergic to peanut butter. It’s a problem I have.” Remus opened his mouth. “No, it’s no different. It is a disease I have, that means I have to live my life a little differently from others. But it is just that — it does not define me. It does not make me better or worse as a person. But if I meet someone who is a friend, someone who might try to make me a peanut butter sandwich, I am going to tell them that. Okay?”  
“Okay. But what if I tell them and they leave me?”  
“Then they weren’t that good of friends to begin with, and the loss of their friendship isn’t that big of a deal. Plus, you will still have me.”  
Remus smiled, then shook his head. “I can’t do it, Lily. I don’t think I can. It took me fifteen minutes to get the words out with you, and you already knew.”  
Sirius, James, and Peter walked into the room, and Remus and Lily stopped talking.  
A few days later, he came up to her with a smile. “They already knew.”  
“They did? So you didn’t tell them?”  
“No. They decided to talk to me about it as soon as they found out. And who was I to say no, really?”  
“So they are still your friends?” Lily asked.  
“They are still my friends.” Remus blinked. “Wow. I have friends. As in, more than one. That never happened before.”  
“Well, that is good and smart of them, I suppose, to realise what a good friend you are,” Lily said slowly.  
Remus said, “Good? It’s great! Now I know, and they know, and — it’s okay.”  
And he did, in fact, seem much happier in the next days. Instead of being almost inseparable from Lily, he became truly inseparable from his new friends. Lily focused her time on her Welsh lessons and on travelling home, trying to pretend that the situation at Hogwarts didn’t annoy her.

“Oi, Evans!”  
Lily didn’t turn around; she just rolled her eyes. “Potter.”  
Remus sighed next to her, but he said, “I know it’s a bit annoying with James and all, but who knows.”  
He turned around and asked, “Yes, James?” Lily sighed and turned around too.  
“I was thinking,” he said.  
“Really?”  
He ignored her and went on. “My plan is brilliant, of course, but it seems that I need more days than one to remind you of my love.”  
Lily crossed her arms. “So? You think I can’t remember things over a whole year?”  
“People can be forgetful, you know,” James mumbled.  
Lily maintained, “Just one day, Potter. I’ll remember, I swear.”  
He looked down the hallway. “But I need other days to show you what I can do for you.”  
“The best thing you can do for me is leave me alone.”  
James muttered out of the side of his mouth, “Hey, Moony, help me.” Remus shook his head with a smile.  
James grabbed her shoulders. “Evans! Just let me know more about you!”  
Lily shrugged, and his hands were left in the air. “If I do, will you leave me alone?”  
He crossed his heart. “I swear.”  
“All right.”  
James smiled. “All right! When’s your birthday?”  
“Today,” Lily replied.   
Remus mouthed, “Today?” and stifled a grin. Lily nodded.  
“I didn’t want anyone to know. But now, I guess they do.”  
James gaped. “Well, then, wait for your surprise at dinner.” And with Sirius and Peter flanking him, he walked away.  
Remus asked, “Are you sure? He will bother you this day every year, you know.”  
Lily smiled. “And I will have my actual birthday free of bother.”  
“When is it?”  
“Oh, 18 January,” she said. “When’s yours?”  
“10 March.”  
“Winter birthdays, both.”  
Remus smiled. “I suppose so.”  
Severus walked up to her and Remus. He asked her, “So, dinnertime, right?”  
She rolled her eyes. “Yes.” Her stomach rumbled. “I guess we should go, though.” She told him about James’ plans. Severus nodded.  
“You know, you can always eat at the Slytherin table if you want. There’s no way James would go anywhere near that.”  
Lily sighed. “But I think Mulciber and Company may not like having me there. No, time to face it all.”  
She walked to the Gryffindor table with a growing sense of dread. Severus edged away slowly. “Lily, I’ll just be over here.”  
James waved her over, smiling, with a bouquet of lilies. “Really?” Lily asked.  
“So now you accept my profession of love, right?”  
Lily rolled her eyes. “Would I align myself with this toerag? I don’t think so.” She turned and stormed away, grabbing a few sandwiches before she left. Remus ran after her. “James isn’t really all that bad, you know.”  
“Oh, yeah? Mr. I’m-so-popular? King of Hogwarts?”  
“He has his faults, I know, as we all do. But he’s a good friend, too.”  
“To you, I’m sure.” Lily shook her head. “But if he’s going to be this ridiculous around me, I don’t think he will be mine.”  
Remus laughed. “But what is our life if we take everything so seriously, anyway?”  
Lily raised her eyebrows. “Fair point.” She sighed. “But I want my boyfriend to take me seriously, you know? To care if I’m embarrassed. Like I was just now.”  
Remus nodded. “I’ll work with him to get the silliness out of his system, at least where others are concerned. And then — who knows? - You might even be friends.”

Lily found that her first crush spelled out even more trouble than she had thought. In the summer, she met a boy, David, whose family held an estate on the marches. He was home, like her, from school, and was eager to compare notes on boarding school experiences. At first, Lily had fun making up her school. She had by then adjusted to the process, and anytime she had trouble coming up with information, David was more than ready to answer questions on his own school.  
“It’s the absolute best!” he said. “You should see the grounds, study what we study.”  
It seemed so easy, just like Lily’s hopes for Muggle life. She had come home, and there was nothing that she could not surpass to get along with everyone.  
That evening, at dinner, Lily’s mother was discussing the year’s festivals with David’s parents, when she added, “Just the other day, Lily was home from school, when-"  
“Does she come home from school often?” his father asked.  
“Oh, just one weekend a month.”  
“But such a lengthy travel would take a long time. Is that really necessary so often?” he asked.  
Lily’s mother stammered out an explanation that satisfied David’s parents. But that night, David sat Lily down and asked, specifically, “What is the name of your school?”  
“Well…” she said, “St. Andrew’s, in Scotland.”  
“Are you sure?” he asked. He seemed surprised, not only that Lily was at a school he had never heard of, but also that she left the school so often to go home. “How can you get a decent education?” he asked.  
Lily explained that she was needed at home, that her village needed her, but he shook his head. “I have lots of friends whose parents are earls, marquesses, even dukes. They all go to school for the entire school year. There is no way that your village requires more than any of those others. No way.”  
Lily felt the color rise in her cheeks. Who was he to tell her what was best? “Well, my parents prefer it that way too.”  
Petunia came in just then and added, “Yeah, she has her own situation. It only works for her, but that’s all right. Show him, Lily!”  
“Show me what?” David asked.  
Lily sat and looked at Petunia. “I can’t show him. Not for anything.”  
David stood up. “Tell me what? Why not?”  
“Because Lily thinks that she’s the only one who can handle the knowledge.” Petunia looked at Lily. “But David will be fine with it. So just tell him.”  
“Petunia. If Lily doesn’t want to tell me something, she doesn’t have to. I’m fine knowing what I know — who we are now.”  
Lily sighed as Petunia finally left. “Thank you.”  
“So, what is this?” David asked. “Is there really something you can’t tell me?”  
“No,” said Lily, feeling a bit like Remus. “I can tell you. See, my mother is ill, so I like to go home to visit. Petunia is so far along in her studies, Mam insists that she stay at her school all year.”  
“Sure,” said David.  
When he left, Petunia cornered Lily. “So what did you tell him?”  
“That Mam is ill.”  
“Oh, I see,” she said. “So it wasn’t enough for the great Lily Evans just to make up a cover for Hogwarts. Well, you’d better hope he never meets Mam.”  
“It should be safe, for now at least. We’re going in two days to visit Aunt Maeve and Uncle Tom in Dublin, remember?”  
But in Dublin, Lily saw a head of bright red hair that looked more familiar then the rest. “Wait,” she said to Petunia.  
“Oh, he turned up, right?” Petunia said.  
Lily turned to go, but David had already caught her eye. “Lily!” he said. “What are you doing here?”  
“Visiting family. What are you doing?”  
“Ah,” he said. “My mother is from here. She always brings us here on holiday, so that we can remember Ireland. Full of magic, she says it is.”  
“You know all about magic, then.” Petunia poked her head around a corner. “So go on, Lily! Show him! What are you so scared of?”  
“I - I can’t,” Lily said.  
“Tell me what?” asked David. “About your ill mam?”  
Just then, Mrs. Evans came out onto the front steps. “Lily, Petunia, time for dinner!” she called.  
“Coming, Mam!” Petunia replied, with a sideways look at Lily.  
“Well, she didn’t look ill,” David said, with a question in his voice.  
“Lily has something else to tell you,” said Petunia.  
Lily repeated, “No, Petunia.” A rushing sound filled Lily’s ears. No! This hadn’t happened in — in years! “Maybe I should go in,” she said. “Help Mam get dinner ready.”  
“Oh, stay, why don’t you?” said Petunia.  
“No, I really have to go in,” she said.  
David began to back away. “Maybe I should go.”  
A Coke bottle on the sidewalk clattered against the pavement. David looked at Lily curiously. “My Mam’s calling me, too,” he said.  
Mrs. Evans ran outside. “Lily? Petunia! Be careful with this storm!” She stopped and looked at Lily. “Did you…?”  
Lily ran inside and up to her room.  
“Lily” Mrs. Evans called up the stairs. “How could you have done this? Now the rumours will be all over town — here, and back in Llanfair too!”  
Lily ran to her room. She said to the empty air, “Only five days more. And then — then I will be back.”  
“Is that what you want most?” Her mother stood behind her. “Do you really just want to go away?”  
“And leave my home? My only home? Is that what you think?” Lily wiped her eyes. “Is that what I should do?”  
“No. Your home is your home, and your school is not that, can never be that.” Mrs. Evans held Lily until she stopped crying and fell asleep.  
The next day, David was standing outside the McMurtry’s house. “Good morning,” he said.  
“Hello. Now, I know you saw some rather odd things the other day, but-"  
“But what? How can we fix this?”  
“Well, I don’t know. This has never happened before.” Lily felt her eyes become moist and, annoyed, tried to blink the tears away. “You are the first boy I liked, David.”  
“As are you.” David paused. “I wanted this to work, I really did. But how can it now?”  
Lily shook her head.  
“Well,” said David, “I think I should go.”  
He left, and Lily did not see his family anymore. Had he returned to Wales?  
Lily remained numb until she returned to Hogwarts.

Over the summer, Lily found that her letter from Hogwarts was longer than it had been the year before. There was a permission slip, which her parents signed without question, to visit the local village on a few weekends. There was also a form, slightly longer, which listed a number of classes and asked students to choose at least two. Next year they would begin their optional classes, and have some choice in their curriculum.  
McGonagall wrote in her accompanying letter, “Please choose carefully. These elective courses sometimes turn into the courses of greatest interest for a few students, and those in which you may perform the best. Allow yourself that opportunity. Also, please take care in the number of courses you select. There are no strict guidelines, except that at least two subjects must be chosen. However, most students will choose two or three classes. The choice of many more than that makes it difficult for logistic reasons to be able to attend all classes. Such a choice will also make it difficult for the student to perform well in these classes as well as in the core classes. The following form lists the textbooks, supplies, and summer homework for each class. We also ask that you notify your Head of House of your chosen classes, especially if you choose more than two classes, so that we can ensure that the class schedule fits everyone’s needs. If you fail to notify your Head of House of your choices, he or she will assume that you have chosen no elective courses and will choose two for you.”  
Lily looked over the list. Her mother walked by. “Lily, what is this?” she asked.  
Lily handed her the list. “I have to choose a few electives for next year,” she said.  
“How many?” Mrs. Evans looked down at the paper. “Oh, it says — two, right?”  
“Or more.” Lily scanned the list. “Ancient Runes sounds interesting - I like learning languages.”  
“Well, for sure you’ll not want Muggle Studies, then,” her mother said.  
“Why not?” Lily asked. “Could be interesting, to see wizards try to explain how Muggles live.”  
Mrs. Evans sighed. “Oh, come on, Lily! You are in the Muggle world every month, and you talk to wizards in between. Surely you can tell it all from that. And you can’t take every class, you know.”  
“I know. So I won’t take that one.” Lily pointed to the list. “What do you think I should take, then?”  
Mrs. Evans looked the list over. “Divination.”  
“Really?” Lily asked.  
“Yeah. I think it could be interesting. And it would certainly help us to know which crops will flourish, or how the sheep will turn out.”  
Lily looked away. “Care of Magical Creatures looks interesting, too.” She tapped the paper. “And Arithmancy.”  
Mrs. Evans creased her forehead. “Four classes? Isn’t that too many?”  
“I’ll owl McGonagall. If it’s too many, let her tell me.” Lily nodded. “And she will, so don’t worry about that.”  
“But, four is twice as many as two.” Mrs. Evans held up a hand to demonstrate that.  
Lily protested, “But there are so many interesting classes! Plus, McGonagall says to take Divination with a grain of salt. But Professor McNamara seems like a really good teacher. Taking it and Arithmancy together will let me try out both for their approach to it.”  
“But no Numerology, right?”  
Lily sighed. “No Numerology and no Muggle Studies. They look so interesting, though.”  
“But - six classes!”  
“And Welsh and harp. Eight. Right.”  
“Well, maybe you don’t need to take your Welsh classes quite as often as you took them before. Or your harp.”  
Lily protested, “What? Welsh is so useful — don’t you agree, Da?”  
Mr. Evans walked into the room. “Of course. Many of our villagers don’t speak English - they can communicate only in Welsh.”  
Mrs. Evans faced him. “But Lily is fluent in Welsh already. She can already communicate with everyone she meets.”  
“True. But also, she must maintain a rich vocabulary, one that changes a lot in the early teenage years and must be supported in classes.” Mr. Evans paused. “At the age of thirteen, you were also fluent in English. Yet your school had you continue to take English lessons.”  
“I don’t take English lessons,” Lily commented. “Maybe I should….” She tilted her head, thinking.  
“No, but the essays you write for class strengthen your understanding,” Mrs. Evans said. “I am not saying that she should stop Welsh lessons entirely. But maybe she should have lessons just once a week instead of three times a week? Remember, the reason we sent her to this school was so she could learn what they have to offer there.”  
“Okay,” Lily broke in. “Since I am the one taking the classes, and since you two will not be able to monitor me as you do here, here is what I will do. I will not stop Welsh or harp. No, I must take harp — it helps me relax. I will take both of those only once a week. And when I am here on weekends, Mrs. Jones can teach me about government and the marquessate. Should that work for us all?”  
“Yes, it should,” her mother said sheepishly.  
“So Lily,” her father asked, “October will be your first visit back here?”  
“Yes,” she said. “Is that all right?”  
Mr. Evans nodded.  
“It seemed,” Lily went on, “that, especially with these new elective courses, I should take a little while to get myself situated first. I will talk to McGonagall to set up visiting times then.”

Professor McNamara squinted her eyes and looked at Lily’s forehead. “Miss Evans, is there Seer blood in your family?”  
Lily shook her head. “Professor, I am a Muggle-born witch. None of my family has magical blood.”  
“Yes, I know that,” McNamara said. “However, I was not asking about magical blood. There are a few Seers who cannot practise magic.”  
“Really? But isn’t Divination a type of magic? Doesn’t Divining mean being able to use magic?”  
“Yes, it does. But magic is an incredibly complex field. Many witches and wizards-" McNamara coughed, and Lily could have sworn she heard her say “McGonagall” — “look down on the field of Divination, because they do not think it encompasses a pure form of magic. But after seven years of training, after decades more of experience, there are still many parts of magic we do not understand. Divination is one field which sees these magics, not as less pure, but simply as different, as unknown but still important. That is Seer blood.” McNamara shook her head. “Right. Does that make sense, Miss Evans?”  
Lily thought before answering. “So - so Seers are Muggles?”  
“Seers can be Muggles,” McNamara said. “There are many Seers who have conventional magic too. But not all do.”  
Lily tilted her head and looked up. “Or maybe what you should focus on is this. Your family are Muggles. But in no way does that mean they aren’t special.” She paused. “I am glad that you chose this class, Miss Evans. And I look forward to seeing much more from you in the years to come.”  
Lily walked slowly down the stairs. Seer blood? Was that how Arglwydd Owain could tell she was different from Petunia? And her grandfather — who knew about Dumbledore. Was he a Seer too? So then — was she? What did she see in her future? Wasn’t it all a haze? Then what about Remus’? Or Severus’? The first person she saw down the stairs was Lupita.  
“Hey, Lily,” she said. “Getting ready for Double Transfiguration?”  
Lily shook her head. “Do you think I have Seer blood?”  
Lupita spread her hands and laughed. “Lily, you know I don’t take Divination. Seer blood? What is that?”  
“Do you think I know what’s going to happen?”  
Lupita blinked. “Do Seers always? Anyway, I’ll see you in class.”  
McGonagall! She would have to know! Right?  
“Professor, do I have Seer blood?”  
McGonagall looked at Lily. “Is that what Professor McNamara told you?”  
“Yes. And what would that mean, if I did?”  
McGonagall walked back to her desk. “Sometimes Seers think they see things.” She turned back. “But you know, Miss Evans, that it is one thing to see things, and quite another to understand what you see.” She reached the front of the classroom and turned around.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

As Lily and Remus were walking back from Astronomy, Remus pointed out a new portrait. As he did so, he put his arm around Lily’s shoulder, his watch caught a few strands of her hair, and she yelped in protest. However, instead of offering a hasty apology and readjusting his arm, Remus’ eyes widened and he jumped away.  
“Lily,” he said quickly, “I’m so sorry, I - are you hurt? It won’t happen again, I swear! I - I’m so sorry!”  
Lily looked over. It seemed that he was just overreacting to her hasty cry of pain, so she began, in an annoyed tone, “Oh, Remus, come on-" But she stopped abruptly when she saw that Remus was afraid. Fear shone in his eyes as it hadn’t since — since he told her he was a werewolf.  
Lily sighed and began again, more patiently, “Remus, what is it?”  
Remus looked over at her. “Lily, do you remember what I told you last year?”  
“Yes.”  
“And what did you say then?”  
Lily stated, “That it didn’t matter.” She rolled her eyes. “Which it doesn’t. Remus, I meant what I told you. I can’t lose this friendship. Remus, you can’t just-"  
“No,” Remus said. “You told me, remember, that I could only hurt you on the full moon.” He looked down. “But that’s not true. I was afraid, more than any Gryffindor should be.”  
Lily reached out and touched his shoulder. He looked up. “You see, if I scratch you, if I draw blood, I can infect you. I don’t know exactly how much damage it would do, but-"  
“I do,” Lily said. “I researched all this, for months, remember, and my research was certainly thorough. It is true that there are ways to become a werewolf other than being bitten by one who is transformed; I know that. But there aren’t other ways you can turn me into a werewolf.”  
“But I can still hurt you,” Remus muttered.  
“So you can hurt me? If I scratch you, I can hurt you! No, don’t look at me like that. I can bruise you and scar you as well. But Remus, you don’t see me scared to touch my friends.”  
Lily grabbed Remus’ hand. He smiled at her. “No, Lily, I am not scared of you. You should be scared of me.”  
“Remus,” Lily said. “Whether you have the power to hurt me or not is really irrelevant. I know you will never harm me. Plus, physical contact is a necessary trait of friendship, a way to find comfort.” She looked up at Remus. “You wouldn’t deprive me of that, would you?”  
She pulled Remus close, not talking, just hugging.

After they rounded another corner, Remus spoke up again. “Lily, in defence, Professor Dearborn said that we would be studying Boggarts in a couple more weeks.”  
“Yes, he did.”  
“So a Boggart represents your worst fear-"  
Lily rolled her eyes. “Yes, thank you Remus, I know what a Boggart is.”  
Remus paused for a moment, and then he began speaking softly and quickly. “Well, I don’t know for sure what my greatest fear is-"  
Lily narrowed her eyes. “But you think it might be related to it being a werewolf? But, Remus, I’m sure we will learn about that by ourselves. Just sit by me in the corner.”  
Remus shook his head. “No, it will be in pairs. See, one thing that helps people get over Boggarts is company. So I was wondering”  
“If I would be your partner? Yeah, sure.” Lily paused, and her hands went to her shawl. “I don’t know what mine will be, either. But I guess it is better to find out like this, as students, when we don’t have to do it for real.”  
“Right?” Remus looked down. “D’you think all the professors know?”  
“Well, they’d have to, right?” Lily asked. “In case there’s any trouble.”  
Remus looked up. “I know McGonagall knows; she told me. And Dumbledore, of course.”  
“Of course.”  
They stopped at the Great Hall. Remus asked, “Hungry?”  
Lily shook her head. “Not really. Good thing, too, since it’s the middle of the night.”  
“Okay.” Remus kept walking to the common room. “I am, but I have some food in my room.”  
“All right.” Lily kept walking. “I might actually go in for a midnight snack then. D’you have enough to share?”  
Remus nodded.  
“What do you have?”  
“Butterbeers and sandwiches.”  
“Really? How?”  
“I just do is all.”

From the time Remus asked, Lily began to wonder what her greatest fear was. Her days began to fill with rumination until she even began to contemplate searching out a Boggart herself. Remus, however, was not so certain about her plans.  
“Hogwarts is always clean,” he reminded her, “so that may be hard to do. Anyway, our class will be soon. You’ll see.”  
And sure enough, in a few weeks, Dearborn gathered them all into a group and pointed to a number of large wooden chests in the corner of the room.  
“Everyone knows what this is, right?”  
“Boggart,” the class rumbled.  
Dearborn smiled. “Well, good to know that everyone’s done their reading. Now, who can tell me more about the Boggart?”  
Remus raised his hand.  
“One of the things that is most effective when fighting a Boggart is — what, Mr. Lupin?”  
“Is company. Every person has his own Boggart, and then it gets confused.”  
Dearborn smiled. “Right. Now, the general procedure is to face the Boggart as a class, together. The Boggart doesn’t know which of the ten or so shapes to take, and it is easier to vanquish. However, it has been pointed out to me that a person’s greatest fear is a very private matter, and that for some, having the whole class find out about it might be scarier than the Boggart itself. While we must all be able to face our own fears in this situation, as a Hogwarts professor it is my task to prevent you from entering any potentially dangerous or harmful situations. Therefore, I ask that you each choose a partner for this exercise.That way, the whole class will not see your fear, but you will still have the advantage of facing the Boggart in a group instead of alone.  
“Please choose your partners. Now, be brave!”  
Remus moved next to Lily, who asked, “Were you the one who asked for this?”  
He shook his head. “My father. He does a lot of his work on Boggarts, see.”  
Lily nodded. “I wonder what my Boggart will be.”  
“Right, let’s get started, then.” Dearborn raised his wand, and the chests began to creak open. There were several gasps as figures began to emerge.  
“I’ll go first, shall I?” Remus asked. There was a large silverish sphere — the moon. “But it’s so simple!” Lily gasped.  
He frowned. “It may be for you.” He swung his wand and said, “Riddikulus.” The Boggart fell back into the chest, and the door swung shut. It was a few minutes before most of the rest of the class had gotten rid of their Boggarts. Lily noticed that Sirius seemed to be having particular trouble with his. What was it? A… was that a person? “Bellatrix?” Lily gasped.  
“All right,” Dearborn said. “Now it’s time to try out the Boggart on the other person. Ready?” He opened the chests, and Lily stepped forward to face the man that clambered out.  
“Arglwyddes Rhiannon,” he said. “You are home. You must never leave us, never leave here. When you are home, all is as it should be.”  
Lily frowned. So did the Boggart know her history? How did it know about her great-grandfather?  
Then it seamlessly morphed into another person, one Lily had only seen in portraits. “We are one woman, one soul. This is our home, our place. And without it,” pointing to her tiara, “we are nothing.”  
Remus poked her side. “Now, Lily, now,” he said, mouthing the words that would drive her family away.  
She blinked. “Yes, of course,” she said. “Riddikulus.”  
But even as the figures vanished, Lily wondered whether getting rid of her family was really what she wanted.  
At the end of the class, Dearborn looked around the room. “Good! Now, see, no matter how bad your fear seems to you, it is nothing that cannot be eliminated, nothing you cannot conquer. That’s it for this class, then. In the next one we will talk about where you are likely to find a Boggart, and what to do once you have it trapped.”  
“Well,” Lily said, “that wasn’t as bad as it could have been. And at least you know what your Boggart is now.” She smiled. “If people ask, you could always tell them you hate Divination.”  
“Good point,” Remus said. He nudged Lily. “So who were those people? And what were they saying?”  
“Oh, that was in Welsh?” Lily asked. Remus nodded, and she draped her still-shaking arm over his shoulders. “That was my great-grandfather and my great-aunt Eira, who died before I was born.”  
“And what did they say?”  
“They said I was Welsh. That I could never leave. That I must always serve my people.” She turned away. “Sometimes I wonder if I am doing that as I should.”  
Remus turned her face back. “What makes you say that?”  
“Oh, I don’t know. I’m just being silly, I guess.” Remus took her hand. “No, why?”  
“I talked to Sev about this some. It’s just like… none of them know me, not really. And I can’t tell them. So in what way do they share in my life?” She dragged him down the hall. “That class really made me hungry. Want some tea?”  
Remus nodded. “Well, maybe you could focus more on being close to the people here. Then you’d still be helping at least someone — which is your job, right? But food is calling — c’mon, let’s go!”

Lily stepped into McGonagall’s office. “Professor?”  
“Miss Evans,” McGonagall pulled out a chair across from her desk. “Please have a seat.”  
“Yes, Professor.”  
McGonagall sat in the opposite chair. “Miss Evans, it has been two years since I visited your home, two years during which I have watched your progress as a witch.”  
“I am grateful for this instruction,” Lily said.  
McGonagall nodded. “Yes, I am sure you are. However, let me tell you what I see. When I first glimpsed your potential, it amazed me. Your progress in my class reflects that, and Professor Slughorn tells me that your work in Potions is truly remarkable. Professor Flitwick also has mentioned your outstanding work in Charms. I think that with a little work, you could become one of the top students in your year.  
“Still.” Lily stiffened. “To show your success properly, to learn here as fully as you can, requires more than time to study, time to do one’s homework. You will also, for example, need time to spend with friends. How is your social life, Miss Evans?”  
“I have a few friends, Professor - but not many,” Lily admitted. “So I should spend more time here, Professor?”  
McGonagall peered at her. “Miss Evans, what is your social role in Ynys Môn? What is your progress?”  
Lily squirmed in her seat. “Well, I do the best I can. I go there whenever I can. I will be Marchioness, you know, and what I do is very important.”  
“Yes, but I suspect that you cannot do quite as much as you could wish.”  
Lily shook her head. “No, ma’am.”  
McGonagall nodded. “Because your attention has been divided. It has been neither here nor there.”  
Lily nodded quickly. McGonagall cleared her throat. “Miss Evans, you have potential to become a truly great student and witch if you only put in the time and attention required.”  
“Yes, Professor,” Lily said. “I will think about it. However, I will still want to go to Ynys Môn next weekend.”  
“Very well,” McGonagall said.   
With a final “Thank you, Professor, for your advice,” Lily stood and left the room.  
A week later, Lily stood in front of the green flames. She had to go, right? No, but she had to go. She gritted her teeth and stepped through, calling out “Plas Newydd!” She spent the first day in her room, trying to sort out her thoughts. The next morning, she went to Llanfair and tried to look around with objectivity. Everyone in the town square nodded at her and murmured, “Yr Arglwyddes Rhiannon,” but no one came up to speak to her. It was as if everyone knew of her, but no one knew her. Lily began to despair that it would ever be otherwise, when she heard a familiar voice behind her.  
“Lady Lily! How are you?”  
Lily turned on her heel. “Alys! How good to see you! How are you?”  
“Fine, thanks — how is school?”  
Lily smiled. “Fine, thanks. Although there really is nothing like returning to Wales.”  
“Ah, and how is your Welsh?”  
“Very well — it’s good my school has lessons.”  
Alys glanced at the road. “Yes, that is lucky. Is it a school in England?”  
“No, in Scotland, St. Andrew’s.”  
“Oh, right.” Alys frowned. “So, you learn - Welsh?”  
“They concentrate on languages. I’m learning English, Welsh, Scots Gaelic, and Spanish.” Lily blinked, startled at how easily the lies rolled off her tongue. She changed the subject. “So, Alys, how have you been?”  
“Everything has been fine here in Llanfair,” she said with a smile. “I haven’t had the education you have, sure, but Mrs. Davies has been teaching me literature.”  
“Oh?”  
“Yes. Do you know, her nephew lives in Argentina?” Alys took Lily’s shoulders and leaned in. “So? Qué pasa?[1]”  
Lily swallowed. Lupita said that sometimes. “Nothing much,” she said, hoping it was an adequate reply.  
For the rest of the weekend, Lily hid in her room. Maybe McGonagall was right. She had been feeling like that, right?   
The next Monday, Lily turned to Severus after potions. “Sev, do you think I am an honest person?”  
“Lily, yes,” he said, “Summarily so. Why?”  
“I always thought so, too. But these days in Wales, I lie so much, and so easily. I have to, you know.”  
He nodded. “Sometimes you do.”  
Lily shrugged. “But when did I get so comfortable with it? I can’t go on like this, Sev, I just can’t.”  
He thought for a moment. “Maybe it would be good for you to spend more time here — not go away so much.”  
“Yeah,” Lily sighed. “That’s what McGonagall said.”  
Severus looked up. “She did?”  
“Yes,” Lily said hesitantly. “She said my grades weren’t as great as they could be, that I should spend more time here.”  
“So maybe you should,” Severus offered.  
“Could I?” Lily paused. “No, I can’t! I have to go back, you know I do!”  
“Yes, but think it over. You would travel there for the summers, so you would still be there a few months each year, but you will not have to worry about lying so much. You will also spend the whole academic year in Hogwarts, affording you the time and concentration you need for your life here.”  
Lily tried to speak, but Severus cut her off. “I know your duty, Lily, but still, just the summers will be fine. Remember that your father is Marquess, and Anglesey is his responsibility, not yours.”  
“Right.” Lily sighed.  
At dinner, Severus pulled Remus and Lupita up to her seat. “See, I am not the only one who thinks so.”  
“Yeah?” Lily asked.  
Lupita said, “Well, we’ve been wanting to start a study group, right? Just you don’t have time a lot of the week.”  
Lily sighed and sat back down. Severus sat down next to her. “Lily, don’t you think they might be right?”  
“But how can I tell my parents? This will crush them.”  
“So don’t. You can wait until later, right?”  
Lily received a flurry of owls from home in the coming weeks. “Lily, where are you? We haven’t seen you in a while.” “Lily, are you all right? Is something wrong at school?” “Lily, is it something we did to upset you?” She wrote letters in reply, but the messages from home became increasingly frantic, and it made Lily wonder how much of her letters they were understanding.”I have to tell them face to face,” she realised. Christmas was coming soon, and she could tell them then.  
Lily stood in the library. “Mam, Da, I don’t think I should come to Wales anymore, except for the summers.”  
Lily’s mother walked to her. “But why, Lily? Did something happen at school?”  
Lily nodded. “Professor McGonagall was talking to me. She says that my grades have been suffering some because I cannot focus properly at school. She says that I should spend more time at school and less time here.”  
“All right.” Lily’s mother looked straight at her. “So you will just be home for Christmas and for summer?”  
Lily felt her face heat up. “Well, actually….”  
“And all this because of one teacher?” her father asked. “McGonagall visited — we liked her — but I thought I told her how important it is that you learn everything here too! I’ll talk to her, I will.”  
“No, Da, you can’t!” Lily hung her head. “I think she’s right. About this. My grades — they’re better than average, but not much. And - I have no friends, there or here.”  
“You have Severus, right?”  
“I know a few people, yes, but I can’t spend that much time with them. And you saw what happened with Anna and Charles.”  
“I did. But-"  
“And when I get here, I always have to lie. I hate myself for that. It is customary for nobles to go to school and be away from home for a few years, right? And I’ve been here a lot the past few years. I’ll just try this some and see how it goes.”  
“So you don’t want to see us anymore? Just to cut that part out of your life?” Petunia asked.  
Lily looked at her parents’ drawn faces. This was not just a crazy thing that Petunia sometimes said. It was real. One of the consequences of spending more time in one place was not spending as much time in another.   
But - “I am Welsh, I know that. I am part of this family. That will never go away, and after I graduate, I will come back here. Just these four remaining years I am at Hogwarts, my teachers are telling me that my primary focus should be there. Won’t I be a better Marchioness if I am a better student?”  
Her father nodded. “Yes, you will. We just don’t want you to leave. We will miss you.”  
Lily nodded sadly. “I will miss you too. But I will still have the summers to be here, to learn from you.” She walked up the stairs.  
Around dinnertime, Lily heard a knock on her door. Thinking it was Gwen, she walked over, but she saw her father when she opened it. “Hello, Lily,” he said. Lily walked back over to her bed.  
“Hello, Da.”  
He smiled at her. “I appreciate your time here, you know. It really helps.”  
Lily pulled her shawl around her. “Does it, though?”  
He said, “Of course it does. It reminds the village that you are here, that you know what you have to do.”  
Lily said, “Yes. I guess the last weekends I was here weren’t me hiding in my room then.”  
“So you might as well not be here at all? Is that it?”  
Lily looked up. “What do you think?”  
He pointed out the window. “I think this is your home.”  
“But McGonagall -“ Lily stammered.  
“Professor McGonagall spoke to you? What did she say?”  
“That I am not living up to my potential as a student at Hogwarts.” Lily paused. “She thinks I am spending too much time here and not enough there.”  
Mr. Evans asked, “And what do you think?”  
Lily looked up at the portrait on the wall. “I think she may be right. She sounded so sure.”  
“Well, you have been hiding away some.” He grimaced. “If this is what you have to do, this is what you have to do.” He stood up. “I’ll talk to your mother about this.”  
“Thanks.”  
Lily stood in front of her parents a day later. “So, just for the next couple of years, I will try this out.”  
Her father nodded.  
Lily’s mother sat back down. “We’ll just have to make this Christmas the absolute best, then. What all should we do?”  
Lily sat by her mother and allowed herself to be wrapped up in plans of trees and church choirs.

Lily stood on the steps of the Hogsmeade station. This was it. She walked into the school.  
Sev stood right in the doorway. “So? Did you talk to them?”  
“Yes.” Lily brushed her eyes and looked up. “I told my parents. And they were hurt a little, but I think they understood.”  
“Good!” Severus said, almost too quickly. “Good, Lily. This will work much better, I think. So what do you want to do now?”  
“About what?” Lily narrowed her eyes. She had just decided. Hadn’t she?  
“About your time here at Hogwarts. You must have a goal. What do you want to do?”  
“Hmm. Like what, do you think?”  
Severus looked up. “Your grades are good, and Professor McGonagall said they can get even better. Why not try for something with that?”  
“Not try for more friends?” Severus shook his head. Lily smiled. “I think I want to go for Prefect. See if I can earn that. Will you?”  
Severus shifted. “All that talking about rules and punishing others? Not quite. But you definitely should.”  
“Good,” said Lily.  
“So they understood, did they?” Bellatrix came up from behind her.  
“Yes,” Lily said firmly. “Yes, they did.”  
“Well, of course. After all, it’s just for these seven years, right?”  
“Of course,” said Severus. “What else would it be?”  
Bellatrix looked at her nails. “Right. That’s it. For now. But when you graduate, what will happen?”  
“I’ll go back home,” Lily said.  
“Leaving all your friends behind. Having left your home — yet again.”  
“I know,” said Lily. “I shouldn’t leave my family behind.”  
“It will just make going back all the harder.”  
“But,” Lily said, “I still don’t exactly get along with Sirius. Whether I spend more time here or not, I don’t think I can get him to agree with you. Sorry.”  
Bellatrix smiled. “You may one day find you want to.”  
She turned on her heel and vanished.  
Lily walked back to her dorm. So if being a prefect was her goal, how would she achieve that? Ask one of the prefects she didn’t know? She almost bumped into Remus at the portrait hole. He must be trying too, right?  
“You’re working on prefect, right?”  
Remus smiled. “That is my intent. Yours too?”  
Lily nodded. “So,” she asked Remus, “what should I do to become a prefect?”  
“Well, being a prefect isn’t like being Head Girl - it doesn’t hinge on grades. But having good grades can’t hurt. Also, clearly, they want people who know how to follow the rules. You already do that. Have you ever gotten a detention?”  
“No, I don’t think so. Have you?”  
“Yes. One.” Remus frowned before adding, “I was late to a Transfiguration class.”  
“I know plenty of Prefects who have detention. It’ll hardly make or break your chances.”  
Remus smiled. “True.” He added, “And now that you’re here more, you can work on your grades more, and making friends.”  
“Do you really think those will help me?”  
“Can’t hurt, can it?” He added, “Like try out that study group with Lupita. That should help both of you.”

That morning with the mail, her broom finally came in. Lily noticed a few jealous looks from her classmates and resolved to practise with it as soon as she could. As Lily started flying around the Quidditch pitch, Starhi came up to her.  
“Lily. We need a few new Chasers. You wouldn’t like to try out, would you?”  
Lily laughed and shook her head. “You wouldn’t want me on the team, trust me. I can fly all right, but I cannot fly quickly worth anything.”  
“Oh, I’m sure you could if you just tried.”  
Lily dismounted and pulled her shawl around her. “Last year, we had flying class.”  
Starhi shrugged. “Sure.”  
Lily pointed to the pitch. “And Madam Hooch had us do these flying races.”  
“Right. I remember from my year.”  
“Well, I came in last almost every time.”  
“Okay,” Starhi said. She turned away, and Lily wondered how disappointed she was.  
Starhi disappeared. A few minutes later, she came back with a girl Lily’s age with brown hair. “This is my sister, Mudhi,” Starhi said. “Mudhi is your year, but in Ravenclaw.” The girl cringed. “Mudhi has been looking for some help studying. I know you are at the top of the class. Would you help her?”  
“Sure!” Lily said. She walked up to Mudhi and grinned at Starhi. As Starhi walked back to the castle, Lily asked, “So, you’re in Ravenclaw, right?”  
Mudhi nodded. “I am.”  
Lily smiled. “I would’ve looked great in Ravenclaw colours.”  
Mudhi smirked. “Everyone looks great in Ravenclaw colours.”  
Lily began to wrap up her broom. “So you want study help?”  
“Sure, whatever.”  
“Why? What’s wrong?” Lily asked.  
Mudhi looked up. “It’s just — they all think Ravenclaw is the smart house, and they”  
“And they are?”  
“My family. And I can’t make the grades you do, I just can’t, but if I don’t how can I be true to my house, and”  
“Right.” Lily paused. “What House you are in has nothing to do with the grades you make. However, anyone can make better grades if he or she wants. You can too, I’m sure. I study with my friends Lupita and Remus, in Gryffindor. Do you know them?”  
Mudhi nodded.  
“We meet once a month, in the library. Why don’t I tell you when we are meeting next, and then you can study too?” Lily turned back. “Are there any special subjects you are having trouble with?”  
Mudhi shrugged. “I’ll show you at the study group, I guess.”  
“All right. It’s just in a couple weeks, so it won’t be too long.”  
But when Lupita, Lily, and Remus sat down to their first ever scheduled study session, Mudhi was nowhere to be found. Starhi poked her head in the door after a few minutes. “So she’s not here?”  
Lily gestured to the chair next to her. “No. So what exactly is going on?”  
“We all thought Mudhi would be in Gryffindor, like me, for Quidditch,” Starhi said. “But she was sorted into Ravenclaw instead. The smart house. So we thought her grades were not near good enough for Ravenclaw. And you could maybe help with that.”  
“And what does she think about this?” Lily asked.  
“She says she just wants to play Quidditch like me. I think her grades could be better, but if she wants to slack off and go flying, I guess that’s okay. It’s my parents that are the trouble.”  
“Really?”  
“Yeah, saying she’s a disgrace to her house, and that she will make our family look bad to Ravenclaw. Mudhi feels really bad about it. That’s why I said I’d help her.”  
Lily nodded. “The study group won’t make her the absolute top in our year, but it should bring her a lot closer.”  
“Good. Thank you, Lily.” Starhi paused and added, “So you’re sure you don’t want to join the team, then?”  
Lily smiled and walked away.

 

[1] What’s up?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

When Lily began to set up her group with Remus, Mudhi, and Lupita, she decided that she should spend more time studying with Severus too. As she sat down with him at the library table, though, it was clear he had other thoughts on his mind.  
“Lily,” Severus said across the table. “Did you have government contacts in Cokeworth?”  
Lily frowned and shook her head. “Not really, no. Why?”  
“My mother is looking to file a case.”  
“Your mother? But - your mother — is she a part of the Muggle constituency there? Did she try with the Ministry of Magic?”  
Severus nodded. “Yes. It didn’t work.”  
“Why? What kind of case is it?”  
He opened a book. “Abuse.”  
“Of her?” Lily asked.  
Severus nodded. “And of me.”  
Lily sighed. “Sev, I - I thought it was bad, but you never told me. Why didn’t you tell me?”  
He shook his head. “What could you do? What could any of you have done?”  
“We could have - Sev! We could have helped, I promise.”  
“Right.” Severus looked down. “My friends have been helping me with the case some — but they wouldn’t know what to do in the Muggle world.”   
“Your friends?” Lily blinked. Of course it made sense that Severus should have friends other than her. No matter — “Who?”  
“Well, Malfoy, and Avery and Mulciber. They’ve been helping me here.”  
“Severus,” Lily said slowly. “You remember Mulciber, right? From our first ever ride in the Hogwarts Express?”  
“No, you must be remembering it wrong,” Severus said. “If you think I would ever be friends with someone who — who used that word-"  
“I remember right,” Lily shot back. “He wasn’t the one who — who said that to me. But he was there, watching. Having fun.”  
“Afraid to do anything, more like.” Severus looked up. “I know Mulciber has some unfortunate acquaintances, but I see him every day. And he wants to be my friend, when I have no one else.”  
Lily felt her face heat up. “You have me.”  
He closed his book and set it back on the table. “Sure, when you’re not running back home every chance you get.”   
“Not anymore!” Lily tried to say, but Severus just shook his head.   
“I don’t get it. I showed you this power you have, this world you could be a part of. And you don’t want it? You don’t want the world I can be in?”  
“Of course I do!” She protested. Hadn’t she just shown that? “It’s just-"  
“Just what?”  
“My family needs me. My people need me. And I’m sorry if that’s so inconvenient to life here, but - I can still be your friend, Sev. When you talk, I listen.”  
Severus glared at her. “Well, I need help, real help, now.”  
“With contacts in the Muggle world? So I’m your Muggle friend now?”  
He grabbed her hand. “You’re my best friend. And a good witch. But I do need help in the Muggle world now. And even if you’re not in it, your family is.”  
She narrowed her eyes. “Wait, why? You and your mother are both under the Ministry of Magic, right? Why wouldn’t they protect you?”  
Severus sighed. “My dad is a Muggle.”  
“Yeah, so?” Lily asked.  
“So they didn’t want to try him.”  
Lily paused before replying. “Oh. No jurisdiction over Muggles. But even if he wasn’t tried, aren’t there spells to shield you from harm?”  
“There are. But it’s an invasive process, entering my father’s home to place the wards. And the personal spells would have to be updated every day — he wouldn’t like that.” He paused. “No, if there’s any help, it must come from an authority he will recognise, one that can find that he is the guilty party in this.”  
“From the Muggles.” Severus nodded.   
Lily asked gently, “Sev, you know that your mom might have trouble explaining your abuse motives?”  
“Yes. And it probably won’t work anyway. But what should I do? Tell her not to try?”  
“No, that won’t work. Just tell her it might be hard, and not to give up.” Lily looked at Severus. “And don’t you give up either, you know. I will be here - I’ll help you work it out. I will. You don’t need Mulciber. I promise.”  
But in the next few days, Mulciber took care to show Lily just how much that was not quite true. Any time there was a development in Severus’ CPS case, he seemed to be the first to know, and took a special interest in keeping Lily informed.  
“But why?” she burst out. “He can’t care whether I know. So why does he tell me? Why doesn’t he wait for you to?”  
“Because he’s jealous, I expect,” Severus said. “Just ignore him. It’ll die down after a while.”  
Lily glared. “I don’t like him, you know.”  
“I know. But who am I to turn down friends as I find them?” Lily sighed. Severus pressed on. “Lupin is friends with Potter, and you don’t like him either.”  
He tapped Lily’s arm. “I’ll manage this all, I promise.”

As Lily began her new school year, she found a new air of potential trouble surrounding the school. It seemed that the individual known as Lord Voldemort had been gathering a group of followers, who now had a name - Death Eaters. The History of Magic class became a Current Events class. Students had always gathered in the back to ignore Professor Binns’ teaching — or just fallen asleep where they sat. But now, when they gathered at the back of the room, Lily felt a certain amount of pride. They may not have been paying attention any more than before, but at least they were still learning. They sat and discussed the movements of Death Eaters, where they thought the attacks would begin, and how best to protect their families from the war that almost certainly was coming.  
All too soon, that worry was realised. The owls that came in at breakfast carried so many copies of the Daily Prophet that Remus whispered that they might not make it. Lord Voldemort attacked in London. In London, the war had begun. It hadn’t been a huge attack — only a few streets — but because of the density of the wizarding population, especially in London, several families had been harmed, and five had been killed.  
Along with her copy of the Daily Prophet, Lily also received a letter from her mother, checking on the progress of her Welsh and harp lessons. Reminding her that she should work to help her people in Wales. But-  
“All right there, Evans?” James asked. Lily thought of coming up with a snappy response, but something in his voice sounded more serious than usual.  
“Yes, thank you, Potter,” she said.  
“Awful news, isn’t it?”  
Lily looked down the table. Mary McDonald looked remarkably faint. Anjali looked over at Lily and nodded. She then took Mary’s arm and guided her out of the Great Hall.  
“Yes, it is,” she said. “I hope Mary’s okay.”  
“D’you think it was her family that were there?” James asked.  
“No, her family are in - Bristol.” Lily got up. “Excuse me.”  
Back in the common room, Lily thought about the two letters she had received. So war was coming, coming here. And while it had — she had been too busy learning Welsh. But should she stop? She looked down at her bed. Which was more important? The people where she was? Or her family? She wrapped her shawl around her and went outside.  
“See the news there?” Lily rolled her eyes. Was Bellatrix destined to show up whenever she had any news of any kind?  
“Yes. It’s war, isn’t it?”  
“It is,” she said. She looked at Lily. “Don’t be on the wrong side.”  
Well, that was …abrupt. Would she be on the wrong side otherwise? Lily gasped as another thought came to her. Sirius had told her. He had said she was evil. How far did that go? Was Bellatrix involved? Was she one of these …Death Eater individuals?  
“Whose side are you on?” she called out to the empty air.  
“Whose side is who on?” Mudhi asked.  
Lily looked around. “Bellatrix. Bellatrix Black. She was just here, mocking the war. What do you know about her?”  
Mudhi looked up. “Nothing good. She was part of a group of Slytherins that were against magical equality.”  
“But it’s one thing to think like that, right? And another to act on it?”  
Mudhi shrugged. “These sentiments have been brewing for a long time. I thought they died down after Grindelwald.”  
Lily nodded. “That’s what Sev said, too, a while ago.”  
“Right. I guess he saw it too. I just thought that after Grindelwald, we would all be so tired of war that it wouldn’t happen for a while.” Mudhi shifted her feet. “But I guess not.”  
“And if there is a war when we were all so sure there wouldn’t be one, maybe Bellatrix could be in it too?” Lily shrugged. “She just seems like she talks more than she fights.”  
“I think,” Mudhi said, “that as this war progresses, we will find both friends and enemies where we never expected them.”

Lily sat curled up in her favourite armchair in the Gryffindor common room, the fire blazing merrily before her. She turned her head as she heard a nearby shuffling and frowned at the unwelcome disturbance from her book. But as soon as her ears registered the sound, she realised that it was Remus Lupin, not the intruder she suspected.  A glance quickly confirmed her expectations. There her friend stood, looking down at the large blue file in his hands.    
Lily said nothing, but merely raised her eyebrows to ask, “And what is it now?”   
“It – it’s your name,” was all Remus mumbled.   
Lily stood up and shook her arms and head to clear her mind and focus on the situation at hand. Then she said, much more patiently, “Remus – what is this? Where did you find it?”   
His face instantly brightened, and his words became all the more sure — almost what one might call cocky. “See, Lily – James, Sirius, Peter, and I, we were raiding Filch’s office — “   
“Yet again,” Lily interjected with her usual eye-roll.    
“Yes, Sirius enjoys it a lot. Anyway, we found a locked drawer, so we figured it had the most important information — “   
“So you jimmied it open — “   
“And I found this inside, with your family name.”   
“But Remus,” Lily said gently, “I’m a Muggle-born, you know. All my family are nonmagic. None of them have even heard of Hogwarts.”   
“True, Lily,” said Remus, “But look at the file and see.”   
Lily looked down at the folder.   
“It can’t be,” she breathed, as she looked at the name stamped in gold down the side: “Evans, Eira Rhiannon.”   
Lily frowned. “But – why?” Her eyes narrowed. “Did you read this? Did Potter?”   
“No,” Remus declared, pleased with himself for keeping such an important secret. “I saved it for you to see.”   
Lily was aware of Remus’ eyes on her as she took and opened the file with trembling hands. After a few moments of tense silence, he asked, “Who is that, whose name’s there? What do you know about her?”   
Lily set her thoughts in order and began, “Eira Rhiannon Evans was my great-aunt, the sister of my father’s father. I have her same middle name, Rhiannon. She was the heiress to Ynys Môn, even though my grandfather was born first. She was kind and fair, and her years as Marquess were a prosperous time for our town. However, her time was cut short when she died in a train accident at age 22.   
“But then, why is this file here? McGonagall visited me in person, and she said I was the first in my family to go to Hogwarts. My parents and my grandfather told me about Aunt Eira, and they never said she was magic. Why not?”   
Lily clutched the folder to her and sank down in the chair, her mind teeming with confusion.    
Remus gently said, “Then open the file, Lily, and let’s see.”   
With shaking hands, Lily opened the file. There was a photo — wizarding, of course — of Eira at age 11, and a title that read: “Evans, Eira Rhiannon: Rejection of Acceptance to Hogwarts.”   
Lily blinked. “Remus, how many people are there who choose not to go to Hogwarts?”   
Remus scratched his head. “Well, I’ve never heard of any. But maybe we just don’t talk about them.”   
“Well,” Lily said, “It can’t be that unusual, right? It’s a fairly common practise with Muggle private schools. You apply to a few, and you get acceptance letters from some, but of course you can only go to one school. I even applied to some before I got my Hogwarts letter, and I had to turn them all down. And there are others, who even turn down top schools like Eton.”   
“Okay, so it must be fairly usual, then,” Remus said. “So, what else does the folder say?”   
Lily set the file down on a small table so that she and Remus could both see, and she reopened the folder. Behind the photo she had seen already, there were more pictures of a young Eira, this time displaying her magic: watching as she made flowers bloom and calmed the waves. There was also one of Lily, with the words: “Evans, Lily Rhiannon. Great-niece. Gryffindor House.”    
“So they knew you were related,” said Remus wonderingly. “ Then why didn’t they tell you?”   
Together, Remus and Lily looked at the pages clasped behind the photographs. They unclasped them carefully from their bindings and looked over the sheets of aging parchment and fine calligraphy.    
The first was the form letter that Lily herself had received. Of course, it was a little different for being two generations older:   
   
HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY   
   
Headmaster: Armando Dippet   
   
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)   
   
Dear Ms. Evans,    
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.    
Term begins on 1 September. We await your owl by no later than 31 July.  Yours sincerely,   
Albus Dumbledore   
Deputy Headmaster    
   
Lily put down that parchment, and she and Remus looked at the second.   
   
Dear Professor Dumbledore,   
Thank you very much for your kind notice of acceptance into Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and for your visit. I was especially impressed by your ability to pinpoint my exact location. However, I will not be able to attend.    
Your supposition that I have magical abilities does resonate within me, and I know your words to be true, but the needs of my family and village require my continued presence here. To the community in Ynys Môn, I bear a responsibility as Lady Eira Rhiannon to care for the rich Welsh heritage and culture, as well as to look after the government and people.   
I do realise the value of a Hogwarts education, but I cannot allow personal issues to conflict with my duty to my people.   
Thank you once again for your generous letter and visit, and for your understanding in this matter. I  will certainly never forget your kindness in recognising the magic in me.   
Sincerely,   
Lady Eira Rhiannon Evans of Ynys Môn   
   
“So,” said Lily, breaking the silence, “nothing quite so unusual — just a polite rejection of acceptance.”    
She turned to the next page and found:   
   
Dear Miss Evans,   
I am Professor Armando Dippet, Headmaster of Hogwarts. I was gravely concerned to hear that you do not plan to attend Hogwarts School in the fall. If I may ask, to which school will you go? While Hogwarts School is by far the most distinguished in this part of the wizarding world, there are certainly others that could train you adequately. However, if your intention is to remain in the Muggle world, I must warn you of the dangers of ignoring your magic. It is a part of you, and if you remain in the Muggle world, it will be a part of you that you can never use, that will be forever undeveloped. So please reassure me of your plans. I am sure we can find an acceptable solution to the problem before us.    
Sincerely,   
Armando Dippet   
Headmaster   
   
“Hmmm,” mused Lily, “That’s a bit unusual, it is. What danger was he talking about?”   
   
Dear Professor Dippet,   
Thank you for your kind words of sincerity and concern. I certainly will answer your inquiry as to my school plans. I will be homeschooled for the next few years. I am sorry to disappoint you, but my family and my Welsh people depend on me, and I on them. I cannot leave them alone, nor can I leave my home, for even a day. As to your mention of developing my magic, I have found some excellent druids nearby who may tutor me, so please do not worry.    
I truly appreciate your concern in this matter, but my position is quite inflexible.   
Sincerely,   
Lady Eira Rhiannon Evans of Ynys Môn   
   
Lily frowned and moved on to the next two pages.   
   
Dear Miss Evans,   
I was pleased to make your acquaintance a few weeks ago. It was truly my pleasure to speak to you and your father in regard to your magical education and future.   
I would like to meet with you about your recent decision regarding schooling, both to clarify the terms of the offer from Hogwarts and to gain a fuller understanding of your perspective on the matter. If the time is agreeable to you, I will visit your house, this Wednesday, at 3:00 in the afternoon. Please let me know whether this time is convenient to you.    
Yours sincerely,   
Albus Dumbledore   
   
Dear Professor Dumbledore,   
Thank you for your letter.   
That meeting time will be fine, and I anticipate your arrival.   
Sincerely,   
Lady Eira Rhiannon Evans of Ynys Môn    
   
Behind the parchments was an old newspaper clipping from 1932, detailing the terrible train crash that had killed 23, including Eira Rhiannon Evans.   
   
Twenty-Three Die in Train Crash   
   
A train from Cardiff to Bangor on 15 May 1932 crashed and killed twenty-three people just outside Bangor at 6:35 pm. Although the train’s burned appearance suggests that the crash was the result of an explosion, the initial cause of the crash is still unknown. Officials from Swansea’s Forensic Studies Division are conducting an investigation into the accident and its source. They expect to conclude their investigation in a few days’ time, and the information will become available to the public shortly thereafter.   
The names of the twenty-three deceased appear here: Mr. Dafydd Andrews, Mrs. Elisabeth Andrews, Mr. Brandon Carter, Mr. Paul Carter, Mr. Evan Carter, Miss Eira Evans, Mr. David Evans, Mr. John Evans, Mrs. Anna Evans, Miss Amanda Evans, Mr. Edward Jones, Mr. Daffydd Jones, Mr. Iago Jones, Mrs. Sian Jones, Mrs. Emily Jones, Miss Jacqueline Smith, Mrs. Anna Smyth, Mr. Thomas Watson, Mrs. Emily Watson, Miss Rachel Woods, Mr. Louis Woods, Miss Bertha Yard, Miss Louise Yardley. Notable among these names is Lady Eira Rhiannon Evans of Ynys Môn.   
   
Lily winced as she read again of the horrific death of her aunt. In a shaky voice, she explained to Remus, “I knew my Aunt Eira died, you see. Everyone talks about it, about her, a perfect person, gone way too soon. But no one said how she could have helped me, what she chose, anything….”   
As her eyes reddened and widened, Remus looked at the clock and  said, “Wow, Lily, it looks like the time really got away from us. Let’s sleep on it tonight, and we can go over it again in the morning. It’ll make more sense with food and rest. Will that be all right?”   
“Yes, that will be fine,” said Lily, even though there really was no way she could sleep after reading such news.   
“Well, Lily,” Remus said hesitantly, “I’m going to bed now. You should do the same; we have Arithmancy early tomorrow.”   
Lily nodded wordlessly.   
“Do you need anything?” Remus asked.   
Lily shook her head.   
“Well, good night,” Remus said, as he trudged up the stairs to his dorm.   
Lily carefully replaced the parchment in the file and stared into the fire. So, Eira was offered the same schooling Lily was, but she flatly refused it. And why? Because she could not give up her home. So, had Lily given it up, just like that? She did, didn’t she? She abandoned her duty, her country, her family, and her friends, without even a glance back. But she could not ignore her duty — she had sworn an oath that she, like the Marquesses before her, would never forsake her homeland, that it would be her first and only priority. She had sworn that the land and the gods should hold her accountable if she strayed. So was she then the true unfaithful servant? Were her words not true? Or, Lily wondered wildly, would the gods come to strike her down? And then — what had really happened? Why had no one told her the true tale? They all spoke of Eira much — the villagers had loved her rule, her family liked to tell Lily of the ancestor who shared a middle name, and her great-grandfather always reminded Lily of the first Lady Rhiannon. So were they all hiding the truth about Lily’s true home and destiny too? Did they all know except she who would live it? That was hardly fair! And yet — when was life fair? Not forty years ago — and not now.    
Consumed with thoughts like these, Lily sank down in her chair and closed her eyes for just a moment — until it was morning, and Remus was shaking her awake.    
“Lily, it’s almost time for breakfast,” he said.    
Lily gasped in dismay.    
“It’s okay,” he said reassuringly. “Just go and change, and we’ll go together.”   
Lily stumbled upstairs, where she stammered out some excuse of studying for an Arithmancy exam to the girls, and a few minutes later ran back down the stairs to an absentminded breakfast. Remus made a few concerned inquiries, and Lily somehow answered.    
Lily went through her morning class, Arithmancy, in a daze. It really was a good thing she didn’t have that made-up test; luckily, the class that day was one of rote answers and lectures, not discussion. When time came for Defence Against the Dark Arts, first Lily reassured Lupita and a steady stream of classmates who asked if she was all right. Then she pulled Remus to one side and asked, “Do I look out of sorts at all?”   
He replied cheerfully, “Only to anyone who looks at you for a second.”   
“Oh, Remus. It really has been far too long you’ve been around Black and Potter,” she retorted, rolling her eyes.    
Lily paused, remembering the date, and, in a slightly panicked voice, asked, “What is Potter planning to do now?”   
Remus smiled. “Don’t worry, Lily. He wanted to give you lilies, but we talked him out of it.”   
“Oh, good.” A wave of relief swept over Lily. She and Remus walked happily into the classroom together.   
Class went well, and, despite Lily’s misgivings, without a Potter incident. After class, she went directly to the Great Hall for lunch. Once she got there, though, she immediately stopped in her tracks.   
There, by a chair and place setting festooned with ribbons and candles, was Potter, grinning proudly. He waved her over and pointed to the seat. After a moment, noticing Lily’s hesitation, he walked up to her, holding out a bouquet of flowers. With a grin, he handed it to Lily, who took it almost automatically and then looked at the flowers.    
At least they weren’t lilies. Remus got that part right. Looking down, Lily turned the bouquet of daffodils in her hand. Daffodils.    
Her hands dropped, still grasping the flowers.    
“No, Potter….No.” Lily turned and sprinted back to the common room.   
Potter walked, grinning, back to his friends. Sure, a rejection was nothing new. But at least there had been no angered yells of “arrogant toerag” or similar epithets, no incensed hexes. Sirius and Peter gave him nods of approval. Remus, however, watched Lily’s exit with a worried expression.    
Lily ran all the way to the common room. It was thankfully empty for lunch, and there were no explanations to give, nor excuses to make. Lily sighed in relief and lifted her hand, only to be stopped by the flowers still there. She looked them over. Daffodils. St. Peter’s leeks. The flower of Wales. The reminder of the home she had forever left, of the oath she had forever broken. Lily turned the bouquet in her hand. It looked at her balefully.    
“But I had to!” she cried.    
It seemed unmoved by her plight. Did she have to, really? What would have happened if she had stayed? Would anything?   
There were too many questions. Lily bent her head and gave in to what she so desperately needed: a good cry. Lily cried for what seemed forever, until she could no longer stop crying. It was then that Remus came in with a sandwich and pumpkin juice.    
“Lily?” He asked, taken a bit aback. He hadn’t expected James’ actions to succeed, of course, but even while he was surprised by the day’s events, he hadn’t expected them to turn out quite so badly.    
Lily looked down at the food before her. “Thanks for the food, Remus.” She then turned her head back to look at the folder in her lap.    
Remus’ gaze followed Lily’s eyes and settled on the file as well. “What did it say, Lily?” he asked gently.    
“You must know,” Lily said morosely, twirling a flower in her hand. “What James told me. I’m giving up my only home. Here – “ she held out the file — “look at it again.”   
Gingerly, Remus took the blue folder, but not before adding, “I did tell you no one had looked at this, and no one has. James doesn’t even know it exists. He just — well, he is rather clueless when it comes to cheering you up.”   
“Okay,” Lily replied, considering the situation before her. Really, it wasn’t so bad. True, her eyes were red from crying, and she still felt a bit upset, but she had already stopped crying, and no one had seen her but one of her closest friends. Moreover, she had food and drink before her, and doubtless Remus would provide some chocolate. Lily picked up the sandwich.    
While she ate a bit, Remus opened the folder and looked at the pages inside. At one point he began to rummage in his pockets for chocolate, but his expression did not change. As Lily finished the sandwich, he flipped to the inside of the front cover and looked up. “And what about the memories here?”   
Lily looked up. “What memories?”   
Remus paused for a moment, and Lily wondered whether he meant one of the myriad things wizarding children seemed born knowing, of which Muggle-born students remained completely ignorant, even though they had been the top of the class for four years….   
Remus adopted a tone of patient instruction. “No, Lily,” he said first, “this isn’t a Muggle-born gap. Most wizards don’t know about them until they study them in class. It’s just, my father….”    
He trailed off into silence. Lily, eager to find out what these things were, nudged him. “Remus?”   
“Oh, right,” he continued. “So these are memories individuals had, of the way something looks and what someone said, kind of like a Muggle recording.” He grinned as he mentioned the Muggle device Lily had told him about last year. “They were probably included because they have to do with your Aunt Eira. I’m not sure how we can check them, though. Unless….   
“I bet Professor Dumbledore’s got one!” he nearly shouted.    
Lily blinked. Who was this excited individual before her? “One what?”   
“A Pensieve. You need one to revisit the memories. So, you just need to get into his office and-“   
Lily creased her forehead. “So,” she began primly, “I ask Professor Dumbledore, Headmaster, whether I might please use the Headmaster’s office unsupervised, to view memories I gained illicitly?”   
“Or you could sneak in,” said Remus earnestly. “You know, sometimes the prefects have meetings with Dumbledore. So they go with you to show him something, and — “   
“No.”   
“Okay. Well, then, you’ll have to ask, won’t you? And he’ll have to say yes. What have you ever done against his rules?”    
“Well, nothing — but-" Lily spluttered.   
“Lily,” Remus said gently, taking her shoulder, “I’ve seen your Boggart, you know. I know you have got to know.”   
Lily straightened and wiped her face. “You’re right, of course.”   
“Of course. And these memories are the way to find out. So, one way or another, you’ve got to use the Pensieve in Dumbledore’s office. You just have to.”   
“Okay. But how?”   
“Well, there are two choices.”   
Now that Lily was beginning to calm down, Remus spoke more confidently, laying out the logical options.   
“Either you ask Professor Dumbledore to use his Pensieve, or you don’t. If you ask, he might say no. If you don’t ask, he might discover you and get angry.”   
Lily shuddered at the thought of an angry Dumbledore.    
“Okay, Remus, it’s just about time for History of Magic. I’ll decide tonight, okay?”   
 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

They did not have long to wait. They walked to History of Magic where Lily had an idea. It seemed so obvious that she couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of it before. Her own classmate had turned down her regular school! And nothing had happened to her, right? Lily went over to Lupita for a rushed conversation.   
“Lupita?”   
“Lily? Are you all right?” Lupita asked.  
Lily blinked.   
“Yes, thanks. You planned to go to school in Spain at first, right?”   
“That’s right,” said Lupita. “But La Escuela Gaudí was becoming just too strange, and then with Elena de Justicia, it was too weird for me.”   
“Okay,” Lily said. “And nothing ever happened to you, right?”   
“My parents are a little upset,” said Lupita. “But no, nothing else.” She leaned in. “Why?”   
“Oh… no reason,” said Lily. “Just wondering.”   
With that, she headed to her regular seat between Severus and Remus. She could tell from the snatches of conversation that although Remus and Severus were polite to one another around her, they still were not friends.   
“What did Potter do to her today?” hissed Severus.   
Remus sighed. “Nothing,” he muttered. “Lily was upset at lunch. I’ll -“  
“Lily? Upset? Why?” Severus interjected.   
“Well,” Remus continued, “As I was saying, I’ll let her explain it to you.”   
As she sat down, they both looked at her with concern. Before she finished sitting down, Severus blurted out, “Lily, what’s wrong?”   
Lily sighed. “Remus found this.” She handed Severus the blue folder. He pored over it. But after a few minutes of skimming the pages, he looked up.   
“So she didn’t go to Hogwarts. Mother knows some who studied at Durmstrang instead. What of it?”   
“Yes,” Lily replied, “I asked Lupita, and she said it was no trouble that she didn’t go to the Spanish school. I’m sure it’s fine.”   
“No,” said Severus, “you aren’t.”   
Lily blinked. “Well, okay. We’re trying to figure out how to view the memories on the back cover.”   
Severus’ eyes narrowed. “So, ‘we’ is you and Remus?”   
Lily looked up. “Yes, Severus. He has helped me a lot.”   
Severus looked confused for a moment, but then class began and Lily took notes on the History of Magic lecture.  
After History of Magic, Remus and Lily headed to study hour. As Remus asked when Lily planned to meet with Dumbledore, Lily felt Severus looking at her. When she looked back over, Severus sighed and trudged off to Transfiguration.   
Lily watched him go sadly. She had the strangest feeling that she had hurt him somehow. She hadn’t wanted to make Severus jealous of Remus or to cut him off as she had, but she didn’t have the energy to discuss the whole thing at length again. They would talk about it later.   
She turned back to Remus and said, “I think I will ask Dumbledore. Just to see what he would say.”   
“You never know,” Remus said. “And then if we need any… other action, we can do that after. How many memories are there, anyway?”   
Lily checked the back of the folder. “Three. It shouldn’t take too long, I hope.”   
They rounded the corner and found the griffin statue that guarded the entrance to Dumbledore’s office. A stumbling sound caused them to look curiously at the blank wall above the statue. It slid aside, and Dumbledore stepped out.   
Remus looked at Lily and nodded.  
“Good afternoon, Miss Evans, Mr. Lupin,” Dumbledore said.   
“Good afternoon, Professor,” they responded.   
He beckoned to the now-visible staircase with his left hand. “Would you care to accompany me to my office?”   
“Yes, of course, sir,” Remus said.   
“Right away, sir,” Lily added.   
“Very well,” said Dumbledore. As he said, “Chocolate Frog,” the stairs began to revolve and ascend.   
As they walked into the study, Remus nudged Lily, and she asked, “Sir, I was wondering- “  
“About your aunt,” said Dumbledore.   
He met Remus’ and Lily’s astonished gazes and continued, “I have my ways of knowing what happens here. So, what is your question?”   
Lily pulled out the folder and handed it to Dumbledore.   
She said, “Professor, we found this folder the other day, and it raised a few questions. I never heard that my Aunt Eira had magic. I was wondering, sir, how it happened.”   
Dumbledore flipped through the file. “You both have looked through this already?”   
Lily looked over at Remus encouragingly. He answered, “Yes, sir. But there are a few memories at the back. We were wondering whether we might use a Pensieve to view them.”   
Dumbledore waved at a wall, and a large object, similar to a baptismal font, slid out. “Of course. May I ask, though, what specific things you are wondering about?”   
“Professor,” said Lily, “first didn’t I hear about any of this? Also, I don’t understand why this is such a big deal. My friend Lupita turned down the magical school in Spain to come here, and it is not unusual at all to turn down one school to go to another. So, why does this case have a whole file?”   
Dumbledore nodded. “Let us examine the memories first. They might answer our questions first.”   
He turned to the back of the file and pulled out the first vial. Remus and Lily followed as he walked over to the Pensieve, poured the memory into the top, and lowered his head into the water.   
A new scene unfolded in front of Dumbledore, Remus, and Lily. A much younger Dumbledore walked across a crisp lawn and approached the front door of the castell in Ynys Môn. The man who opened the door asked, “Ga’ i’ch helpu chi?[1]”   
Dumbledore answered, “Prynhawn da. I would like to speak with the Lady Eira Evans, please.”   
The man ushered Dumbledore into the foyer and said to the maid upstairs, “Arglwyddes Rhiannon.”   
Then he turned back to Dumbledore and said, “Follow me, please.”   
They walked together down many unchanged corridors where Lily in her mind’s eye saw herself reading or talking to her parents. Dumbledore and the servant finished their journey in a study with two carved behind a desk and two more chairs in front.   
As the man said, “Eisteddwch yma, os gwelwch yn dda[2],” Lily grasped Remus’ arm upon noticing the unchanged room, and upon seeing Lily’s great-grandfather and Aunt Eira enter, identical to Lily and her father. The memory Dumbledore rose to his feet as they entered, nodding his head in greeting. As they all sat down, Hen Daid cleared his throat and turned to face Dumbledore.   
“So, sir,” he asked, “what can we do for you?”   
Dumbledore said, “Good afternoon, Lord Anglesey, Lady Eira Evans. Please allow me to begin by introducing myself. My name is Professor Albus Dumbledore, and I am the Deputy Headmaster of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I would like to present this letter to Lady Eira Evans.”   
He handed the letter to Eira, Lord Evans took it from her hands when she gasped, his eyes widening as he read it.   
“And what makes you think she must go to this school?” he asked.   
Dumbledore took a long breath before replying as though to gather composure. “Hogwarts is a school of magic. Lady Eira has a natural inclination to magic, and an education at Hogwarts will allow her to explore these opportunities.”   
Eira made a move and opened her mouth as though to speak, but she sank back down and closed her mouth as her father began to speak, this time much more calmly.   
“Professor, I see why this would be true for some individuals, but I have never seen such an inclination in my daughter.”   
Dumbledore pointed to the family portrait on the wall.   
“You have a son, Lord Anglesey. If I am not mistaken, the law dictates that a male should inherit the lordship. However, he is not the heir; rather, your daughter is. Why is that?”   
Hen Daid folded his hands before he replied, “Yes, sir, I have a son, Brendon, but my daughter Eira is the heir instead. She speaks more eloquently, and leadership comes more naturally to her. There is also — something I saw in her that is difficult to explain. Now,” he became more businesslike, “tell me more about this school. Where is it? When does it meet? What does it teach?”   
Dumbledore began, “Hogwarts is a school in Scotland. It is a boarding school that keeps customary school hours. Its classes revolve around magic: its history, its use and control.”   
“Yes, I see,” said Hen Daid, “but does it teach maths and science?”   
“Not exactly,” said Dumbledore. “There are a few classes that share certain similarities, but there is a large difference between wizarding education and a Muggle, or nonmagical, education.”   
“Thank you for the information,” said Hen Daid. “We shall reply to this letter shortly.”   
“Wonderful,” said Dumbledore. His eyes, however, lingered on Eira. “Eira, I feel I must ask whether you understand all we have discussed.”   
Eira spoke for the first time. “Yes, Professor, I understood it all. Thank you for meeting with us and for giving me the letter. Can you please leave an owl here so that I may reply?”   
“Certainly,” said Dumbledore. “Thank you for meeting with me. Good afternoon.”   
As they rose to leave the room, the older Dumbledore motioned to Lily and Remus, and they blew through an empty space until they emerged in Dumbledore’s study once more. Dumbledore, however, remained standing by the Pensieve, and he motioned to Remus and Lily to do so as well.   
“So,” he began, “this memory portrays the meeting between your aunt and myself, much like the meeting between yourself and Professor McGonagall. However, it answers, unfortunately, neither of your questions. I was thinking that we could instead proceed directly to the next memory. Shall we?”   
Lily nodded, and Dumbledore picked up the file. He both poured the first memory back into its vial and poured the second memory into the Pensieve. The three once more lowered their faces into the water, and the water began to show… the same study. It was, opposite to the castell, decorated differently, but it was still clearly recognisable as the same room. The same younger Dumbledore sat in one of the two chairs before the desk, facing an older wizard behind it.   
“So, Albus,” he said, “here is the reply of one Lady Eira Evans, refusing her place here.”   
He handed Dumbledore the letter. Dumbledore scanned the contents and folded the letter back up.   
“Hm,” he mused. “So she won’t go.”   
“No,” said the other man, “she won’t. It does seem a bit unusual, does it not? Not that rejections are unheard of — but one from a Muggle-born? Usually they jump at the chance to explore their magic.”   
“Yes, Professor,” said Dumbledore. “I am not sure how many years it has been since the last rejection. However, it did appear from my visit that Lady Evans was much more receptive of the idea of Hogwarts and magic than her father. The letter, as well, acknowledges the value of studying here. The letter also is exceedingly polite, and it exhibits more curiosity and creativity than I have seen in a good while. Perhaps with a follow-up letter, we might convince her.”   
“Good point, Albus,” said the professor. “I will write it, then. I will also explain the possible consequences of her decision.”   
“That sounds good, sir,” said Dumbledore, as the memory dissolved once more.   
The older Dumbledore moved from the Pensieve to the chair behind his desk, where he sat, inviting Remus and Lily to sit across from him. He then began to speak.   
“This memory chronicles the meeting between myself and the former headmaster, Professor Armando Dippet.”   
“Professor,” Lily asked, “what did he mean about the consequences of the decision?”   
Dumbledore cleared his throat and folded his hands. “At that time, the Ministry of Magic’s Department of Mysteries had two theories regarding cases like that of your aunt. Unfortunately, there was no prior evidence pointing to either one.   
“The first theory is the ‘Use it or lose it’ theory. It suggests that a magical person who chooses a nonmagical life will lose the ability to use magic at will. This theory comes from the cases of individuals such as Mrs. Eileen Snape, who can still use some magic, but not as much as her son.   
“The second theory is the ‘Champagne Cork’ theory. It posits that magic never leaves a magical individual, that it merely is bottled up with no outlet or control. For that person, therefore, life would continue as is customary for Muggles until occasionally, without warning, the magic would burst forth like a cork from a champagne bottle, by any means necessary, causing injury and even death.”   
Dumbledore paused. He seemed distant when he continued. “This theory was based on a girl I knew, who was attacked and made unable to receive a magical education. It was terrible, the way she suffered.”   
He paused again before going on. “So Lily, the most consequential fact is not that she rejected Hogwarts, but rather that she rejected a magical education. That is what brought these theories to bear, and why Hogwarts created this file.”   
“And which did you believe more, sir?” Lily asked, although she already knew the answer.   
Dumbledore sighed. “The second one,” he said heavily. “A fact of which I informed her at our next meeting.”   
Once more they walked over to the Pensieve, and once more Dumbledore arranged the memories. They passed into the Pensieve and entered the memory, watching the younger Dumbledore cross the same lawn as before, speak to the same servant, and walk through the same hallway to the same room. But this time Hen Daid was nowhere to be seen.   
Dumbledore rose as Eira walked in. He said, “Good afternoon, Lady Eira. Thank you for agreeing to meet with me.”   
Eira looked up from her desk. “Good afternoon, Professor. I am certainly happy to meet with you, but I must confess some confusion as to the nature of the visit.”   
Dumbledore asked, “What exactly are your questions? I understood that my letter stated the purpose: to discuss your educational future.”   
“Yes, sir, this much was indeed clear,” Eira answered. “I just do not quite understand, if you will permit me, your persistence in this matter. My rejection of Hogwarts School, while unfortunate, was necessary. Yet I must ask — was that letter really merely a request, or is there perhaps a reason I must attend? And, what exactly is the danger to which Professor Dippet referred in his letter?”   
Dumbledore sighed. “The letter of admittance truly is a request. If you wish not to attend Hogwarts, no one will force you to do so against your will.   
“However, Professor Dippet and I would be remiss in our duties if we did not tell you that there could be consequences. About half of the relevant scholars on the subject of magical persons with nonmagical education, myself included, believe that if you do not learn the use and control of your magic, it could lead to your eventual injury or even death. There is no evidence that proves this, but it still would serve best for your interests and best protect your future life not to take such a chance, but to seek instead a magical education.”   
Eira folded her hands primly, and Lily gasped, remembering doing the same thing. “I have met a group of druids outside Holyhead, and, as I informed Professor Dippet, they have agreed to instruct me in magic to complement my other studies.”   
Dumbledore shook his head. “These types of magic are not the same as the magic we teach, that you have inside you. They will not provide the sort of magical education we meant. Therefore, if you would list your reasons not to attend a school such as Hogwarts, I will see what I can do to resolve them.”   
“Very well,” said Eira. “My first reason has much to do with my prominent position in the local society. The marquessate here is fully functional, one upon which the people of Ynys Môn and even the Prince of Wales depend. I should spend my time outside school forming alliances in my community. I cannot do that attending a boarding school in a different country. Is there a similar school in Wales or in Ireland?”   
“No, Hogwarts has jurisdiction over the witches and wizards of Great Britain and Ireland,” said Dumbledore. “However, there is a simple solution to this problem. In the wizarding world, there are several means of instantaneous transportation. The most useful one would be Floo Powder, a way to travel between fireplaces. That way, you could travel between Hogwarts and Ynys Môn each night, and even during the day. Although the rigorous classes and schoolwork will not allow as much time with the community as homeschooling would, with careful planning and preparation, we can provide as much time as is possible. Are there other concerns?”   
“Yes, there are,” said Eira. “The next one regards the subject matter. From what I understand, it differs greatly from the maths, sciences, history, and English and Welsh of a nonmagical education. So even if I am, as you mentioned, able to travel back here between classes, my friends would regale me with stories of learning a new equation or bit of Welsh, while I can tell them I went to my fancy boarding school and learned… nothing. Upon my graduation, I will know nothing more about the nonmagical world, the world in which I will live, while I will have information in my head that will not be useful at all.”   
Dumbledore answered, “Yes, the classes are not the same; there are a few rather notable differences. However, there are also some similarities: Potions to Chemistry, History of Magic to History, and Arithmancy to Mathematics. Students also practise English by writing essays for class. I realise that there is no Welsh class, but we could arrange for a tutor to come and teach.”   
“Finally,” said Eira, “the previous issues have been, I fear, all symptomatic. The true root problem is this:   
“From what I have seen and heard, Hogwarts wishes to offer me a new world, new friends, a new life. But this is where I belong. My world is here. Here is where I will make friends. And this is my life, the only one.”   
Dumbledore said gently, “Eira, that sounds like your father.”   
“So what if it does?” retorted Eira. “We are related.”   
“Yes,” said Dumbledore. “But you are young enough to let your future be future and to let the past be past.”   
Eira stated, “But, sir, without our past we are nothing. You must know this as well; it is your past that shapes your present. Even if you try to let it go, your past will always be there. And my past has never been anywhere but here. I am the descendant and emissary of Arglwydd Owain ap Rhys. I have a home here; generation after generation of my family has been here. How can I leave it now?   
“The time and effort you put into my case impresses me, and I am sure you will look after your students just as well. However, my final answer is no. Please do not revisit this case or contact me.”   
And she gave Dumbledore such a piercing look that it was clear that the interview was over.   
The memory dissolved, and the older Dumbledore, Remus, and Lily zoomed back to the study and sat back down around the desk.   
“So,” Dumbledore asked Lily, ” does this clip answer your questions?”   
“No,” said Lily with surprise. “It answers my second question, why this was so important. It is a pity that the train crash killed her before we could see her story end though. But none of these memories have come anywhere near my first question, why I have never heard of this. My grandfather was her brother, and he would have told me when I got my letter.”   
Dumbledore smiled. “I thought you might mention that,” he said. “That is why I requested this file.”   
He pulled out another file that was almost identical to the one Remus had brought. The file had the name "Evans, Eira Rhiannon," this time in silver instead of gold.  
Dumbledore turned to the back cover, where there were four memories, not three.   
“This is the Department of Mysteries file on your aunt,” he said. “I think the final memory here will answer your last question. Let us see it.”   
One last time, they grouped around the Pensieve, while the surrounding study dissolved into a green hillside, a cemetery. Despite the heavy rain falling, the priest proceeded with Eira’s funeral rites.   
Lily stiffened as she saw two men in matching suits walk up to Hen Daid after the ceremony.   
“Those men are Unspeakables,” said Dumbledore. “They work in the Department of Mysteries.” He fell silent as they began to speak.   
“Lord Evans, our condolences on your loss,” the first man said. “We come from the Ministry of Magic, and we would like to talk to you, if that’s all right.”   
Hen Daid nodded. The second man spoke in a high-pitched voice.   
“Did you receive the coroner’s report? The autopsy results were most interesting, were they not?”   
Remus squeezed Lily’s shoulder as Hen Daid said, “You know she didn’t die in that train crash, don’t you?”   
“Yes, we do,” said the first man. “Can you tell us what were the circumstances surrounding her death?”   
Hen Daid sighed before replying. “In the last few days, she was having a few magical episodes. Therefore, it was her idea to visit a doctor we had learned of in Caerdydd, a wizarding man who lived in the Muggle community. She travelled alone because I met with the other Lords of Wales that day. She arrived there with no trouble, and she visited Doctor Prentiss, who told her that an increase in solitary exercise such as hiking or swimming might help.   
“Next, she ate a lunch and then boarded the train. The train almost reached Bangor; just before it entered the town, the first three carriages exploded with such force that the train fell from its tracks and on its side.   
“However, the coroner’s report stated that the lacerations and burns on the body could cause severe injury, but not death. The body appeared to have suffered wounds a few minutes after Eira had died. Therefore, the cause of death was not the external wounds, but something else.”   
Hen Daid spread his arms. “Does either of you know anything more?”   
“Yes,” answered the first man. “We detected a large surge in magical power in the area just before the explosion. It is our belief that Lady Evans’ magic burst from her body to create the explosion. She died instantly, just before the crash.   
Hen Daid bowed his head. When he spoke, grief coloured his words. “So—I killed my daughter? Is that what you are telling me?”   
“No,” the second man insisted, but Hen Daid did not seem convinced. The second man pressed on. “Now, we need to modify a few memories.”   
Hen Daid looked up, and the first man broke in to explain. “We need to work with just a few of the memories of yourself and your family. This is necessary, you see, because of the International Statute of Secrecy, which states that nonmagical persons should not be aware of witches and wizards.”   
“No,” said Hen Daid. “I respect law, but there must be exceptions for circumstances such as these. I cannot just forget my daughter, my past. And my family — they cannot forget her either.” His voice shook as he added, “It would be the gravest insult to her name.”   
“Well,” said the first man. “There is a loophole in this situation. It would be far simpler to remove the entire memories of her existence. However, with your consent, there is one other specialised method we could perform. In this, we would change only the memories regarding the death of Lady Evans, so they reflect that the train crash was the true cause of her death. I must warn you that there might be side effects, such as general forgetfulness and disjointed memories regarding the person in question. Is this all right with you?”   
Hen Daid mumbled, “Well….”  
The second man added, “Sir, I do not like to pressure you on this, but trust that we can force you to do so. It will be much more uncomfortable, however, for us as well as for you.”  
“Very well,” said Hen Daid. He motioned to his wife and children, who dawdled over. The two wizards raised their wands and muttered, “Obliviate.”   
“That seems to be enough,” said Dumbledore, and the three of them sped through the air one last time.   
“So, Lily,” he asked, “that answers your questions, yes?”   
“Yes, sir,” replied Lily, with a slight tremor in her voice. “No one — no one knew. It was the greatest tragedy our family has ever known. It was my past, mine! I could have used knowing about all this when I got my letter, when I considered my decision, when I thought about it later.”   
“Yes,” said Dumbledore. “Eira was right when she said without our past, we are nothing, that our past shapes our present. I am glad you have learned your own past now.”   
“Thank you, sir,” said Remus. “Now, I think we will see what there is for dinner.”   
“I feel hungry myself,” said Dumbledore. “Come, good food awaits.”   
He beckoned to the door, and they exited the study and walked to the Great Hall. Once there, Lily tried to turn back to the stairs, but Remus tapped her on the shoulder.   
“Come on. Food makes everything a little better.”   
Lily nodded and followed Remus to a few seats at one end of the Gryffindor table. But after only one bite of the feast before her, Lily felt the overwhelming urge to vomit. She therefore stood and walked out of the hall. She sat on a desk in an empty classroom, and as she waited for the mealtime to finish, her mouth formed the words to a song she had learned long ago.   
In a few minutes, Lily heard Remus’ steps approach the classroom. When he entered, Lily noticed that he seemed transfixed by the song she was singing. After puzzling over this for a few moments, Lily realised with a start that the song was in Welsh.   
“Hm,” Remus wondered. “Lily, what is that song? What language is it in?”   
Lily jumped at the chance to explain anything. “This,” she said, “is in Welsh. It is a Welsh folk song called ‘Dacw ‘nghariad.’ I learned it from my nanny when I was little.”   
She frowned. “Wales. That I, like so many others, gave up to come here. That my Aunt Eira, so firm and resolute, died rather than forsake. We both are Rhiannon; we took the same oath — why did she understand it, while I did not? I grew up in Ynys Môn too. And I can listen. I am smart, am I not?”   
Remus blinked, and Lily realised that while these thoughts were necessary for herself, they weren't pleasant for others to listen to. Still, what else could she say? She contemplated this for a moment, but before she could come up with an answer, Remus looked into her eyes and spoke. “Lily,” he said, “you are very smart. In fact, in some classes, you do far better than I do. And then there are your language classes on the side. Your intelligence has never been in question here. That’s why I cannot understand why you don’t see this for what it is.”   
“And what is it?” Lily whispered, looking down.   
Remus reached out to her chin and lifted her face back up. “You know, Lily, your Aunt Eira seemed nice from the memories, and she spoke well, but I think she didn’t quite listen to her father or to Dumbledore. Her oath, I believe you said, was to serve her people, the same as yours. But what she didn’t see was — her people. I know the people of Ynys Môn-" Lily stifled a giggle and said, “Anglesey,” as Remus butchered the Welsh name "-were happy to have her, that she led them well. But she couldn’t see — not like you. You understood right away that your people, the ones you must serve, are here. You got to the only place you can live a long, fulfilling life. And you help everyone around you, everyone in your community, your home. And all of us — myself, Severus, Lupita, the professors, everyone you even meet for a second — we are all lucky to have you.”   
He hugged Lily, just as she had done for him, to show his support. The two sat together for a few minutes, until the sound of students moving entered the hallways. Remus and Lily then got up and walked to the Gryffindor common room, where Remus went up to his dormitory, and Lily began to revise her essay for Transfiguration, finally able to concentrate on the words before her rather than the mysteries of her past. 

 

[1] May I help you?  
[2] Sit here, please.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

Lily sighed as she reviewed her Transfiguration notes for what seemed like the twentieth time. Especially with finals approaching, she had tried hard to maintain focus on her classes, she really had. But now — her studies weren’t as easily accomplished as before. Previously she had studied in groups, helping her classmates with schoolwork or asking the professors for advice, never alone. But now she sought out more and more time alone. Yet for the lack of distraction from her schoolbooks, still she could not concentrate.   
The record player at her side scratched to a halt, and Lily idly tapped it with her wand. The record restarted with the same song as before. She stared at the fire until the music stopped, then tapped the record player again. And on and on….  
A sudden rustling noise made her aware she was no longer alone. She quickly looked around. Of course, Remus Lupin sat at a nearby table, poring over a book and occasionally stopping to take notes. When he saw Lily turn to face him, he tilted his head.   
“That song,” he asked. “What is it? And how many times have you heard it today?”   
Lily grimaced, both at the thought of having to answer such a long-anticipated question and at having to explain the same bit of information over again. “I told you, didn’t I?” she responded. “The song is ‘Dacw ‘nghariad.’ The title translates to ‘There is my beloved.’” She paused, frowning. “Or ‘Where is my beloved?’, depending on how optimistic you’re feeling. And I’ve heard it a fair few times today, I admit.” Her hand moved over to the record player as she added, “And the day’s not over yet.”   
“I’m afraid,” she whispered. The song ended again, and she reached out with her wand.  
Remus stood and tugged the player from her grasp. In a kind voice, he said, “Lily, it’s been a few weeks. I know why all you can concentrate on is this song. It’s because it’s been awhile, and you thought it was over at last, that the past would stop bothering the present. But that would be too easy, so of course that’s not what’s happening. Plus, you still have a few questions, don’t you?”   
“Remus,” Lily asked, “am I Muggle-born?”   
He looked at her and said, slowly but firmly, “Yes, Lily, you are. Your parents are both Muggles, you see. Even your Aunt Eira – you’re not descended from her.” He went on, “But none of that matters, you see. Only to people like Sirius’ family, not to you and me. It’s just an external condition — it’s not who you are.”   
Lily looked up when she heard the sharp tone in his voice, reminded that she was not the only one with such a condition.   
“Oh, really?” she said archly, for the moment satisfied with finding a solution to at least one of the problems around her. She directed a distinctive look at Remus until he caught her meaning and looked down, blushing and mumbling to himself. After a few moments, though, he returned his gaze to the girl before him.   
“Lily,” he said, “I don’t think I can answer all your questions. I think you need to see Dumbledore again.”   
Lily narrowed her eyes. “So that’s your answer to everything, is it? I can figure out a thing or two on my own, you know. Maybe I’m better off that way.“   
She abruptly turned her back on Remus and tried to resume studying. But the words on the page danced before her, and after a few minutes of fruitless effort, she laid down her notes and turned back around.   
“I’m sorry, Remus,” she stammered out. “It’s just — just I’ve been so uncertain lately. But I don’t know — maybe you’re right, asking other people could help. Just, I wonder, why is it that you don’t think I should ask you? You are pretty smart too, you know.”   
Remus smiled. “Okay, try me then.”   
Lily counted each question on her fingers. “Well, I have to tell my family, right? I feel like I do. But when? And, what happened to the memories they took from my family?” She whispered, “And – and am I still Welsh?” She looked up expectantly at Remus, who nodded his head.   
“Well, I can’t answer the third question. I believe the NEWT-level Defence class studies memories, so we have two more years. But, I will try to answer your other questions for you. As for telling your family, yes, I agree with you. I think they will want to know, need to know. But it doesn’t have to be right now. The summer is coming soon; that will be fine. Better to say it in person, I think. And at home, their home, your home. Yes, Wales is your home. You are Welsh; it’s in your blood. But the only way for you to express that part of yourself is to live in Wales. So, this summer will be a good opportunity for you to do just that.”   
Lily looked at Remus in shock. She could almost hear the same words coming from her father, explaining to his two young girls why they had to move so far away. But Remus’ face looked so matter-of-fact — how did he know?   
She shook her head to clear it and opened her mouth to speak. But before she could say anything, Remus stood to join the passing Marauders in a walk outside. Lily turned her head back to her Transfiguration notes, trying to make sense of the parchments on the table.   
As night fell, Lily found herself alone in the common room once again. But when she looked around, she was alone no longer.   
“Miss Evans,” Dumbledore said as their eyes met.   
Lily’s eyes widened. “Good evening, Professor. Is there something I can do for you?”   
“No,” he responded, “Lily, Mr. Lupin asked me here. He was worried about you and thought you might have further questions for me.”   
“True,” Lily admitted. “Just one thing has been bothering me. I’ve been wondering, sir, about the memories taken from my family. Where are they?”   
Dumbledore paused for a moment. “I believe,” he said slowly, “they are in the Department of Mysteries. There is a group there who study memories and Obliviation. They hold the matter as strictly confidential, so no, Lily, I am sorry, but I am afraid they will not allow outside access.”   
“Very well, thank you, Professor,” said Lily, frowning at Ministry red tape.   
Dumbledore asked Lily kindly, “Is everything all right?”   
Lily wiped her eyes and looked up. “Yes, sir, everything’s fine. It’s just — why am I the only one with such — such mysteries in my past?”   
Dumbledore sighed. “If I had a Knut for every time I heard that question, just think of all the socks I could buy.”   
Lily cracked a smile, and Dumbledore said, more seriously, “Lily, you haven’t learned yet about the Pensieve, have you?”   
“No, Professor,” Lily murmured, feeling slightly rebuked.   
“So – how do you think Mr. Lupin knew about the memories the other day?”   
Lily tried to remember Remus’ mutterings before he suggested the Pensieve…there was ‘Pensieve…Hogwarts’ and something about ‘my father’? She shook her head and looked back up.   
“No, Lily,” Dumbledore concluded, “everyone is haunted by memories, by a past none wish to remember.”   
He looked strangely sad as he said that, and Lily couldn’t help but wonder what was in his own past. She cautiously asked, “Professor, do you perhaps — “   
“Good evening,” he said, and with a swish of his cloak, he was gone.   
Finals passed almost without Lily paying them any notice. Even though Lily’s strangely uncharacteristic behaviour attracted attention both from Lily’s friends and from the other students, she was too distracted to interact or converse with anyone, until one day she was sitting by the Great Lake with Severus, who asked, “Lily, you’ve been avoiding me, haven’t you?”   
Lily looked down and said quietly, “Yes, I suppose I have been. I shouldn’t have, I know, and I really am truly sorry. It’s just that I was so confused by this business with my Aunt Eira that I couldn’t think how to explain it properly.”   
“Well,” said Severus, “many times, explaining things to someone else can make sense of them. We both have plenty of time, so tell me.”   
Lily pursed her lips and then nodded. “Yes, okay. So my Aunt Eira, the sister of my fathers’ father, was magical….”   
She continued to tell him everything: how her aunt showed signs of magic, how Dumbledore visited, how they met again after her refusal, and how she finally died. She told him how Remus brought her the file, how they met with Dumbledore, how he turned up again.   
“And now,” she finished, “I’m — well, I don’t know. You know, I used to dream that there was magic in my family.”   
Severus half-smiled. “Yes. I remember.”   
Lily looked down and continued. “I wanted not to be Muggle-born, to have a secret in my past that only I was special enough to know. It would make our friendship easier, make your other friends like me too. But this — “ she gulped “ — how can this ever have been anything I ever wanted?”   
Severus looked across at her. “Lily?”   
Lily lifted her face. “Yes, Sev?”   
“Our friendship,” Severus said firmly, “does not rely on blood status. We are two people who accept each other for who they are. Let the others classify us, and our friendship, all they want. Why should we care?”   
This was so much the exact answer Lily needed that she threw her arms around him without abandon. “I should never have avoided you like I did,” she murmured. “You are a true friend, I know.”   
After they had finally put to rest the one question Lily had dreaded above all others, she felt able to relate more freely her reactions and feelings.   
“I asked Dumbledore whether I would be able to access the memories that the Unspeakables took from my family, but he said that I could not, that it is all kept quite private. So I fear that I shall never know exactly what to tell my family.”   
Severus narrowed his eyes. “So – you’re telling them, then? All of them?”   
Lily shook her head. “Sev, you know Petunia. She will know I am keeping secrets from her — and anyway, this is information that she should know, too. As with my parents and grandparents, it is information that belongs to her family, to her. I cannot avoid what I should do just because it might be a bit unpleasant.”   
“Well, you must do what you must,” Severus admitted grudgingly. “But tell your parents first. And you know it’ll shock Petunia. It shocked you, how could it not? So don’t take it to heart, if she’s mad. You always pay it too much mind.”   
“But,” Lily protested, “she is after all my sister, my family. In a way, I need her, to help me see this through. And I will treat this gently, but she has been in better spirits since going to London. Maybe that was what she needed, to succeed on her own for a bit.”   
“Maybe,” Severus said doubtfully, but he dropped the subject, and the two discussed their finals until supper.   
Too soon after that much-needed conversation came the time to board the train once more. Lily looked for Remus and Severus to share the ride home, but she saw the two of them together in a squabble. Before the other Marauders approached, Lily ducked into a compartment with Mudhi and Lupita, who were in the middle of a Quidditch discussion. Lily spent the train ride either answering questions about the Holyhead Harpies or staring aimlessly at the passing countryside.   
As they pulled in to King’s Cross station, Lupita tapped Lily on the shoulder and asked, “Lily, is everything okay? You’ve seemed a little distracted the last few days.”   
Lily nodded. “I’m fine, thanks, Lupita. I was missing my family is all, but it’ll be better now we’re going home.”   
“Okay, good,” said Lupita, sounding relieved. “Have a good summer, then!”   
“You too, Lupita!” said Lily. “Have a good summer!” she called to Mudhi, who smiled and waved back. As she broke apart from the group, she caught sight of Remus and Severus. She walked up to Severus first. As she hugged him in farewell, he whispered, “Let me know how it goes with Petunia.” Lily nodded, and he turned to find his mother. Lily went to say goodbye to Remus, ignoring the calls of “See you, Evans!” from James and the catcalls from Sirius and Peter as she pulled Remus aside. She started to bid him farewell, but Remus first hugged her and murmured into her ear, “You’ll be okay, Lily. You will. Now go to Wales. Go home.”   
As they pulled apart, he said in a louder voice, “Well, Lily, I’ll see you next year, then.”   
Lily replied, “You too, Remus. Have a good summer.”   
She mouthed a ‘thank you’ then, and as Remus returned to the other Marauders, Lily scanned the crowd for familiar faces. She found her mother and father peering eagerly around, joined by a less-than-thrilled Petunia hanging around the back of the station. Lily joined them and, as usual, prepared for the switch over to Platform 3, where the waiting train would take them to Cardiff. She then took one last look at the wizarding world, and then turned to return, with her family, to Wales.   
Her mother just smiled and nodded, but her father shot her a piercing look, and she gulped, feeling that he knew just what she wanted to say. But Lily couldn’t think of where to begin with it all. So she decided to wait until they were home, and in an excited voice, she began to relate her year of studies.   
After England fell away, replaced by Wales, Lily regaled her parents with one story after another about Hogwarts. She also learned about Petunia’s disagreeable typing instructor, and how many new prospects she had in London. The train soon came to a halt, and Lily and her family grabbed their bags and left the train,  joining a white-haired couple on the platform. They laughed and spread their arms.   
“Petunia, dear! Lily, love!” the woman exclaimed. “Hello!” the man said.   
Lily responded, “Hello, Mamgu, Tadcu. It’s good to see you!” Even Petunia grinned despite herself. Lily’s parents also hugged her grandparents hello, then the six of them headed to the station wagon outside.   
At the house, Mamgu sat down with Lily, Petunia, and Mrs. Evans, all of them with steaming mugs of tea. “So,” she began, with a look at Lily, “how was your year of school?”   
This was a difficult question. When McGonagall visited Lily and her family four years ago, she explained that there was a law, the International Statute of Secrecy, that prevented Lily from telling just anyone about her magic. “The International Statute of Secrecy,” McGonagall had said, “is embarrassingly vague on the subject of who you can tell and under which conditions. However, we at Hogwarts generally believe that telling only immediate family provides the clearest cut-off. Hogwarts can help you fabricate stories to explain your situation as otherwise needed.”   
“Well, Mamgu,” Lily said, “it was a good year. This year we did a long study project in English Literature.”   
The woman smiled and, thankfully, turned her attention to Petunia. “And how is your course, dear?”   
Petunia began to speak eagerly, her face looking much more pleasant than Lily had seen it in years.   
As soon as they had time to unpack after dinner, Lily sat down to write a letter to Dr. Prentiss, the doctor Eira had seen immediately prior to her death.  

Dear Dr. Prentiss,   
Hello. My name is Lily Evans, and my aunt, Lady Eira Evans, visited your office several years ago. I would like to meet with you in the next few days regarding that visit. Please inform me of the time that would be most convenient to you.   
Thank you,   
Lady Lily Evans 

Lily checked the phonebook for where to mail it. She decided to send it through the Postal Service so that Bloddeuwedd wouldn’t attract too much attention. The phonebook had many people listed named “Prentiss,” but only one “Dr. Prentiss.” Hoping it was the right one, she went out to post the letter.   
Lily spent the next five days avoiding her grandparents as much as possible; she did not feel quite comfortable discussing her invented school at length. So she created a need for visits to libraries, to museums, and to movie theatres. On Monday morning she received a reply to her letter at last. It was succinct:  
   
Dear Lady Lily Evans,   
I am sorry to inform you that my father, the Dr. Bran Prentiss, is deceased and no longer works at this office. However, I would be happy to meet with you this afternoon, or any time during office hours.   
Sincerely,    
Evan Prentiss 

That afternoon, Lily ventured downtown alone, where she met with Evan Prentiss. A short, redheaded man came to the door when she knocked. “How may I help you?” he asked.   
Lily spoke up as she walked into his front hallway. “Good afternoon. I am Lady Lily Rhiannon Evans of Ynys Môn. As I mentioned in the letter, I would like to check with you about a meeting your father had with my late aunt, Lady Eira Rhiannon Evans.”   
“Right,” the man said. He disappeared for a moment, then reappeared with a leather notebook. “What day was the appointment?” he asked.   
“15 May 1936,” Lily said.   
He flipped through the book. “Yes, yr Arglwyddes Rhiannon,” he said. He closed the book. “But it seems the meeting was of a secretive nature.”   
Lily looked at him. Seeing the Ravenclaw scarf wrapped around his neck, she made a split-second decision. She shrugged aside her shawl to reveal her wand, and she saw the man’s eyes widen as he caught sight of it.   
“Sir,” she said, “I am also Arglwyddes Rhiannon. I can promise to you that there is no secret she had that I do not share.”   
“Yr Arglwyddes Rhiannon,” the man said, bowing his head. “I see by your wand that you are a witch. I am a wizard, as was my father. Your aunt came here to discuss her magic. If I may ask, is your family Muggle or wizarding? Or, perhaps, a mixture of the two?”   
“It’s a Muggle family,” replied Lily. “My aunt was Muggle-born, just as I am. That is why I want to check on the notes from her meeting.”   
“Hmmm,” Evan said, opening the book. “This meeting was unlike any other my father had. Yr Arglwyddes Rhiannon was — she was magical, but she did not attend Hogwarts.”   
“Yes, I knew that,” Lily said. “But – she had this meeting, on this day, for a specific reason. Why?”   
Evan skimmed the book. “It seems she had a few mishaps in the past few days.” He held out a vial. “My father kept a Pensieve to review his meetings, and then passed it on to me. This might help you, then. This way, please.”   
Lily followed him down the hall, to a room that was completely bare save for the Pensieve inside. With no further ado, Evan poured the vial’s contents out and beckoned Lily to join him.   
Dr. Prentiss stood just inside the front door, watching as Eira walked up to the house and knocked on the door. He opened the door and closed it behind her. “Yr Arglwyddes Rhiannon?” he asked.   
She straightened and answered, “Yes. I am here as I mentioned in my letter yesterday.”   
The doctor looked down at the letter in his hands. “I must confess, ma’am, that I find your case unfamiliar to me. Perhaps you could explain it to me, in person, please?”   
“Very well.” Eira sat down and folded her hands in front of her. “Ten years ago, Professor Dumbledore of Hogwarts School told me of my magical abilities and offered me a spot at Hogwarts. However, I declined this offer. I began training with a group of druids. At eighteen, I became Ardalyddes Môn, and I had to end my studies.”   
Eira looked down at her hands. “About a year later, I began to suffer attacks every few months, in which objects fly around me, as though blown by a heavy wind. These incidents frighten my father, who knows of my magic, and confuse my mother, who does not. Moreover – “ she paused, then continued, “Moreover, a few days ago, this event broke my brother Brandon’s arm. So, can you help me?”   
The doctor scratched his head. “But don’t you think that such a case might be better suited to the expert care of Healers at St. Mungo’s Hospital?”   
“I thought of that,” Eira said. She looked up. “I have done my research on this, I promise you. What I did to my brother….” Tears glinted in her eyes. “But I cannot go to a place that would worry my family even more, I just can’t. So, here I am. What should I do next?”   
Dr. Prentiss said gently, “My dear, my speciality is treating physical wounds. Still, I will see what I can do. You are twenty-two years old now, correct?”   
Eira nodded.   
“And, what do you do in a day?”   
“I meet with organisations and local leaders, help individuals, plan events, and study.”   
Dr. Prentiss paused. “I see.” He added, “That is rather different from what you did with the druids, I imagine.”   
“Yes, it is,” Eira admitted. “There, although I spent some time in studies as I do now, life centred on the physical connection with nature. There was much more swimming and hiking.”   
“Then that must be it,” the doctor explained. “Two things strike me from your story. The first is that these incidents all began after the end of your time with the druids, so they could be your body’s way of reacting to that change in lifestyle.” He added, “The second is the amount of physical activity you experienced with the druids. From what you described, it seems to me that these periods of involuntary magic do large quantities of physical activity. Perhaps your body misses the exercise you did before. Can you do some sort of physical activity, such as swim or run?”   
Eira looked up. “That I can certainly do, Doctor.”   
He nodded. “Good. I was wondering, though. How much do you think about your magic?”   
Eira answered, “I do not. Or, as little as possible.”   
Dr. Prentiss tapped his notebook. “I see. And magic was a part of your studies with the druids, correct?”   
“Yes, sir, it was.”   
“You might want to do that, then. It may help release the pressure the magic creates to use up mental energy as well as physical.”   
“Of course,” said Eira. “How often should I do this?”   
The doctor thought for a moment. “You said, ma’am, that these episodes are only every few months?”   
“That’s right.”   
“Then in that case, I would advise a routine of exercise and meditation a few days each week, so as to tire your body and to keep the magic from needing to do so.”   
Eira nodded. “Is there anything else, doctor?”   
Dr. Prentiss shook his head. “That should be it. But, Arglwyddes, please allow me to say again that I am not by any means an expert in these matters. I would, then, like you to come in every few months, so that I can see how my routines are working, and so I can change them, if need be. I also would like to ask that, if your situation worsens, you reconsider visiting St. Mungo’s.   
“Now, would yr Arglwyddes care for some tea? My wife is just making it now.”   
Eira shook her head. “Thank you, doctor, but I have just enough time to make the one o’clock train if I run.” She stood and said more formally, “Dr. Prentiss, it was good of you to see me. I am truly glad of this meeting. I will follow your prescribed routine, and I will see you again soon.”   
“Yr Arglwyddes Rhiannon,” Dr. Prentiss said. “I was glad to help. And I wish you good fortune.” He bowed his head, and Eira swept out of the house. The memory faded, and Lily stood next to the Pensieve once more.   
“Milady,” Evan said. Lily jumped. She had forgotten that he was there too. “It is truly saddening, milady, that her train crashed that same day. If only my father had been able to hold her back for tea….”   
“She didn’t die in the train wreck,” Lily said absently.   
Evan looked up abruptly. “What?”   
“No,” Lily repeated. “Yr Arglwyddes Rhiannon died due to one of these magical incidents.”   
Evan looked curiously at Lily, and she suddenly felt the need to breathe fresh air. “Thank you very much for all your help, Dr. Prentiss,” she said. “I’m afraid, though, that my family is waiting for me, and I must return to them.”   
“Farewell, then, milady,” Evan said. “I am glad I was able to help.”   
“Thank you, sir,” Lily said, and she walked out the door and across the garden. Once she reached the street, her walk became faster and more forceful.   
Exercise! She had come in such nervousness, and the doctor told her a few minutes’ workout would solve everything — and then he sent her to her death. Really! “Here, I see you’re scared out of your mind, let’s just try the first thing we can think of.” And Eira! She got a thorough education, more thorough than most at that time. And she lived the situation. She must’ve known it was serious, too serious to be cured by a simple race. How could she even think….   
Lily stood on the front garden of her grandparents’ home all too soon. Her mother, standing in the front doorway, beckoned her in and grabbed Lily’s arm as she tried to slip off to her bedroom. “And where have you been all day?” she demanded.   
Lily did some fast thinking and replied, “The library. I’m sorry, I guess I lost track of time.” Her mother raised her eyebrows. “Well, have you even started packing for Tuesday?” She paused and then went on, “…never mind. You should start, though. It will be there before you know it. And dinner is in an hour.”   
Lily went to her room to begin to pack. Dinner that night was a quiet affair, with no one certain quite what to say. “This all looks great, Mam,” Lily’s mother said into the awkward silence. and Lily slipped away for the rest of the night, packing for her return to Ynys Môn.   
In the morning, everyone went to the market, to buy some food for the next couple of days. Lily’s grandmother asked, “So, Lily, what is this English Literature project you were telling me about?”  
Lily swallowed. “Yes, Mamgu. It was about the characters in Pride and Prejudice.”  
“Really? That was one of my favourite books growing up. So, did you study the relationship between Mr. Darcy and Colonel Fitzwilliam? That has always fascinated me.”  
Lily tried to think back to the last time she had read the novel. Colonel Fitzwilliam was…. She noticed her grandmother looking curiously at her blank face. “Yes, quite interesting,” she said.  
Petunia glared at her but added, “I remember many literature projects from my classes. In my courses now, though, I just transcribe them.”  
When they got home, Petunia asked, “Why do you not prepare for these conversations?”  
“I do, but-"  
She put up an arm to trap Lily where she was. “And really, why do you have to lie to them?”  
“The law says I must,” Lily said, and a wave of relief swept over her. Petunia believed as much as she did in following the law. Surely she’d accept that, surely….  
“I found out what the law says about that. It doesn’t specify. You could have a loophole, if you really wanted one.”  
Lily sighed. “It is what Hogwarts suggests.”  
Petunia continued, “But you could tell them, if you really wanted to. And the way you cannot answer questions! It makes you not only a liar, but a sloppy, lazy one.”  
“Now, Petunia-"  
Petunia dropped her arm. “They are willing to give you everything. Everything. And you just use them as you see fit.”  
Lily looked at Petunia’s unforgiving face and could not think of a thing to say. After a minute, she said, “I should keep packing for tomorrow,” and ran to her room.  
Lily’s grandfather drove them all to the train station in the morning, and they took a train to Bangor and then a ferry to Ynys Môn, where John, their chauffeur, drove them home. Lily, however, did not enter the castle when they arrived, instead leaving her luggage to be picked up by the servants while she ran to the nearby graveyard. The graveyard gate squeaked as she pushed it open. In the second row, Lily saw several stones that read “Ardalydd Môn.” Two rows down, there was a stone that read: 

Eira Rhiannon Evans   
1914-1936   
Ardalyddes Môn * Yr Arglwyddes Rhiannon   
A'r gelyn olaf i gael ei ddinistrio fydd marwolaeth. [1]

Lily looked down at the grave, feeling that there was something incredibly important there that she could not understand. Here – here was where they took the memories of it all. So – Taid!  He wouldn’t have memories of Eira’s magic, but he might remember her.   
“Diolch yn fawr, Rhiannon,” Lily whispered, and she ran back into the house.   
The next day, Lily said to her parents at dinner, “You know, I think we should see Taid and Nain soon.”   
Petunia groaned. “Mam, Da, I haven’t spoken Welsh in a year.”   
Her father raised his eyebrows. “Petunia, they are our family. And it isn’t their fault they don’t speak English. We must try to communicate with them however we can. Remember, we must keep the heart of this nation alive.”   
Petunia rolled he eyes but did not reply. Lily said, “Of course, Da. That is why I still study my Cymraeg.”   
Petunia pinched Lily under the table, and their mother added, “It will be good practice. And it will be nice to see them; I will ask them tomorrow.”   
She got up, signalling the end of dinner. Petunia followed her out, but her father remained in his chair, looking at Lily as the servants cleared away the dishes.   
“My daughter,” he asked. “There was something you wanted to tell us, right?”   
“Yes, Da,” Lily answered.”But I can’t yet. I will soon, though, I promise.”   
“All right,” her father said. “Is everything all right?”   
“Everything is as it has always been,” Lily said. Her father nodded, and she went up to her room.   
The next day, the family walked across town to see Lily’s grandparents.   
“Prynhawn da, Mam a Da,” Lily’s father said. “It’s good to see you.”   
“Helo!” said Brandon. “Sut dych chi?[2]”   
“We are doing very well, thank you,” Lily’s mother said. “Petunia’s just back from London, and Lily’s been at Hogwarts.”   
Lily’s grandmother nodded, but her grandfather wrinkled his forehead. “Hogwarts?”   
“Hogwarts, Taid,” Lily said. “Hogwarts is a school for magic. Professor Dumbledore is the headmaster.”   
His expression cleared. “O, Athro Dumbledore.” He frowned. “He’s still alive?”   
Lily looked over at her mother and Petunia talking to her grandmother, and she leaned close to her grandfather and asked, “Have you seen Professor Dumbledore, then?”   
He shook his head. “Nac oes. But it seems I know him.”   
“Well,” Lily said, “at school, we’re doing a project on our families. I was wondering whether you could tell me about my Aunt Eira?”   
“My sister,” he said slowly. “Her name was Eira, but Da always called her Rhiannon, and so did the townspeople. There was …something different about her.” He frowned. “I do not know exactly why Da passed over me for Ardalydd Môn, but he did, with nary a second thought. Eira was always nice to me, though. Until she came back from the druids. Then, she seemed — afraid. And then — the train crash-"   
“Yes, Taid,” Lily said, “I was wondering, though — how did you break your arm?”   
“Oh, that was so simple. I was reaching for some things too high up, and a huge tub fell on it. Eira felt guilty about it, but Mam said there was no way she could have had anything to do with it.” He looked at Lily questioningly. “So is that what you wanted to know, then?”   
“Yes, thank you,” Lily said, and she turned away. At least she now understood his forgetfulness. It seemed the Obliviators had worked a lasting, if perhaps overly specific, spell. Every time Lily mentioned magic or Hogwarts, he acted as though it was entirely new to him, even though he had been there for McGonagall’s visit. Yet it seemed they had forgotten to erase his memory of Dumbledore, from his visit to Hen Daid and Eira. That was fresh as if it had happened the day before. At least the Obliviators kept their word to Hen Daid and hadn’t erased memories of Eira completely. It was a pity, though, that he didn’t know more to help her. But maybe he knew the name of the band of druids. “Taid?” she asked.   
“Yes, my dear?”   
“My aunt, she went to see druids, right?”   
“Yes, she did.”   
“Good. Taid, can you tell me the camp’s name?”   
He looked at her in curiosity but finally answered, “No, I don’t know the name, I’m sorry.”   
Lily replied automatically, “That’s all right, thank you, Taid,” but her mind went blank. What was her next course of action?   
Lily’s grandmother chose that moment to call out, “Supper’s ready!” Everyone made their way to the table, exclaiming over the vast quantities of food spread out. After dinner, Lily’s family returned home, with promises to visit again soon. Lily’s owl was waiting for her when she arrived, along with another that looked like the Lupins.’ Lily read Sev’s letter first. 

Lily,   
How are you? Have you told them yet? I’ve just been studying, not doing much. How are things with you? I know it might seem too hard, but it will all work out. Don’t worry.  
Your friend,  
Sev

Remus’ letter was much the same. Lily folded the two letters and went down to the library. It was good of them to write, really it was, but they only said what she already knew. Still…at least it meant she was on the right track. Lily sat down and pulled open a book on Derwyddiaeth. Eira would have gone to the nearest Order of Druids for sure. There was nothing on record from those years, but in ancient times, there had been one called …Cylch Arwenydd. Lily smiled. If there were still some from the old Order, those would be the best at magic — or at least at a magic-like activity. So they would be there in the morning. Lily flipped through the book, hoping for some location hints. But the book only said Môn…Mona…Anglesey…nothing. But it did mention a statue of the goddess Branwyn. Perhaps they were there? Lily shook her head. She would have to hope so.   
Early the next morning, Lily walked out of town, almost to the shore. She found there a small group of men and women chanting, dressed in white robes. Lily stayed still until they finished their routine. Then as she walked forward, one of the women came to meet her.   
“Bore da,” said Lily. “Dw i-"   
“Arglwyddes Rhiannon,” the woman said. It was not a question. “You are here because of your aunt.”   
“Yes,” Lily admitted. “I want to study with your Order for some time, to learn some of what she did.”   
“Very well,” the woman said. “Gwenllian dw i.” Gwenllian motioned, and a taller, brunette woman came over. “Bore da,” she said. “Dyma-“   
The woman nodded. “Rhiannon,” she said. “I can see she has the same power as her aunt.” She looked at Gwenllian. “Yes, with her I can do much.” She lowered her hood and turned toward Lily. “Rhiannon, hello. My name is Angharad, and I teach magic.” She pointed to a nearby shed. “Come with me.”   
There were no other students in the class. Lily saw this and protested to Angharad, “But I thought there was more interest in tradition.”   
Angharad’s mouth twisted into a wry grimace. “But not here,” she muttered. She cleared her throat. “So, shall we begin?”   
“Certainly,” Lily said eagerly.   
Angharad pointed to the wand at Lily’s side. “You will not need that.”   
Lily shook her head. “No, I know. I can’t use it here anyway.”   
Angharad spread her arms. “No, you do not understand. You do not need that — that thing.” She pointed to a few shelves by the door. “You can keep it there for today.”   
Lily placed her wand on the shelves and made a mental note not to bring it the next days.   
Angharad narrowed her eyes. “Now, Rhiannon, you have magic, like your aunt.”   
Lily turned her head. “How do you see that?”  
“It’s quite simple, really. Magic is a physical attribute, after all. It leaves its marks on the people it touches the most. You see it too, right? Look at me. Really look.”  
Lily looked. “The magic is in my hands,” Angharad said, “on my lips, but most of all in my mind and heart.”  
Lily squinted her eyes, but … “No, I don’t see it.”  
Angharad tilted her head. “Try again, then. You go to that other school. We use magic differently here. Try to think just of your magic, not of how you have learned to use it.”  
Lily tried again. And again. Eventually, she managed to see a sort of…difference in the air around Angharad’s head. “I think I’ve got it,” she said.  
“Good,” said Angharad. “That means you are beginning to look at your magic for how it is, not for all you think you already know.”  
“Was this the first thing my aunt learned here?” Lily asked.  
“The other Rhiannon was curious too, but unlike you, she had no schooling holding her back. So yes, it was. To learn anything, you must first see it. What was your first lesson at Hogwarts?”  
Lily thought back. “The first class I ever attended was Transfiguration, and it taught us to turn matchsticks into needles.”  
Angharad nodded. “Right. And when did you first learn about the magic, instead of learning it?”  
“Ummm…that was our second year, Charms.”  
“Well, maybe this will help when you go back.”  
In the afternoon, Lily practised physical training with another teacher, Dafydd. “It is very important,” Angharad told her, “that we practise magic before this. It will wear out your magical spirit as well as your physical body.”   
Lily also took classes in druidic history and Welsh language and culture.   
Her time with the druids gave her a chance to sit down and think about Eira, and about her family, wondering where she was. None of it would be real if she didn’t tell them. And she would be this upset over — nothing.  
“I have to tell them,” she told Angharad during class, while they were practising communicating over long distances.  
She nodded. “Yes, Rhiannon, you do. No matter how hard it seems.”  
“But do I know enough?”  
“You can stay here as long as you like. You would make a fine druid.”  
But Lily shook her head. “I can’t. I wish I could, but-"  
“But you have to move forward.” Angharad smiled. “You do know enough. And you know what you must do.”  
Lily stood. “Then I will meet with Gwenllian.”  
Angharad walked out of the room, and Gwenllian returned with her. “So, Rhiannon. Angharad tells me you must go.”  
“Yes. I need to return home.”  
“I thought you might.” More formally, Gwenllian said, “It has been our pleasure to teach you our way of life, Arglwyddes Rhiannon.”  
“And it has been my pleasure to learn your wisdom, Gwenllian. I look forward to applying it throughout my life.”

 

[1] The last enemy that shall be destroyed will be death.  
[2] How are you?


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

When the family finished dinner, they moved to the library. Lily’s father shot her a piercing look, and Lily couldn’t hold it in any longer.   
“I - I have something to say,” she blurted out.   
“What is it, Lily?” her mother asked. “Is it something from school?”   
Lily noticed Petunia rolling her eyes, but she looked at her parents and gave a rapid nod. “Yes, it is. Mam, Da, Petunia, it’s about Aunt Eira. She was a witch.”   
“You have got to be kidding me.”   
Their father slammed his hand down on the table in front of him. “Petunia! Enough!” He turned his attention back to his other daughter. “Lily, go on.”   
“Yes,” said Lily. “She received an invitation to Hogwarts, but she didn’t go.”   
Rosemary wrinkled her forehead. “A witch like you?”   
“Yes, Mam,” Lily repeated. “A witch like me. At first I wasn't going either, remember?”   
Rosemary nodded. Dafydd spoke up. “It is good to hear she fulfilled her duty, like my father and grandfather always told me. So now, how did she exercise her magic?”   
“She consulted the druid order here,” Lily said. “That is where I have been going this past week. It was not enough though.” She cleared her throat. “She died.”   
“Yes,” Dafydd said. “It was a tragedy — the train wreck, and her so young.”   
Lily shook her head. “No. Now, this may be hard to hear, but she died — because of her magic.”   
Petunia snorted. Lily turned her head. “What?” she asked.   
“Well, of course it killed her,” Petunia said. “That magic kills everything — she should have known better than to mess with something like that.”   
“Now, Petunia,” said Dafydd, “she had no choice. What is important is that she wouldn’t let even the danger of death keep her from her people.”   
Rosemary added, in a shaky voice, “But you will be careful?”   
Dafydd went on, “That’s a good question. What will you do?” He steepled his fingers and looked at Lily. “I mean, you’ve got this information. You will not be the first magical marchioness. The past always shapes our present. So how will it shape yours?”   
Lily looked at her stern father, her disdainful sister, and her pale-faced mother. “I - I thought if I told you, that would be the right thing to do. That it being a secret was what was wrong. I-"   
“Whatever,” said Petunia. She turned to her mother. “Mam, I’m tired. Can I go up to bed?”   
Her mother waved a shaky hand, and Petunia left the room, muttering, “Bravo, Lily,” as she passed her sister.   
Lily swallowed and said, “I might go up too, if that’s all right.”   
“Go,” Dafydd said. “Your mother and I will be up soon.”   
She almost sprinted out of the room and up the stairs. She paused for a moment outside her parents’ room, darting in to grab her mother’s tiara. When she reached her room, she slammed the door shut and sat on her bed with a sigh. She took out her wand and placed it beside the tiara.   
Her father was right. She had to choose. But how? Lily shook her head. The trouble was that the story meant something different to everyone. To her father, it meant that Lily needed to use her past to hold true to her duty. To Petunia, it was a cautionary tale about magic. To Remus, it explained the need to adapt to one’s present. And to Severus, it meant — nothing; it was just a story. But what was it to Eira? And what did it mean to Lily? What should she do?   
Lily walked to the mirror and raised her hand. But then she dropped it. She remembered Angharad’s words: “Yes, Rhiannon, the Birds of Rhiannon help us communicate with the dead. But it is not a power that is ours. We are living beings, neither dead nor gods. Therefore, the world of the dead is not a place we belong. So do not summon the Birds, save in the hour of gravest need.”   
But I can’t make this choice alone!   
“It is the only way to choose.”   
Lily looked up at the portrait above the mirror. She sighed. “Okay, guess I’m to talk to you, then. If this were the wizarding world, it might make sense. But here, I’m crazy.”  
And that split it up, didn’t it? There were two worlds. Lily put on the tiara and held up her wand. “No,” she said. “I wish it would work, but it didn’t - I tried it. I’ve got to choose, to give up one world for the other.”   
Lily jumped. She was almost sure she had seen Eira nod, but when she looked again the portrait was as still as ever.   
“Ah, well,” she muttered. “Time to try one world over the other.” She placed the wand on the bed and looked in the mirror. Ardalyddes Rhiannon stared back at her. Lily gulped.   
“I could do it,” she said to Eira. “What you did. I can leave Hogwarts now, and be here. I’ve had enough magic training - you were in danger, but I won’t be. And so what if I’ve been away a few years? Lots of people go away to go to school. I could do that - reclaim my duty.”   
For a second Lily stood taller, imagining all the things she would do for her people, for her country. But then she thought of Charles and Anna, her closest friends in early childhood. Friends she could not help. So who were her people? Serving the people here was all she had learned. But - even if she never practiced her magic, even if she was like Mrs. Snape, there would be a part of her — a big part — that no one would understand.   
Lily yanked the tiara off her head and grabbed her wand again. “Yes, Eira, I promised. But if I can’t dedicate my whole self to my people, shouldn’t I find someone else who can? And how can I back away from people who need me, wherever they are? I mean — there’s a war in the wizarding world. The oath said I would never turn my back on danger, and I assumed I would find it here.”   
She paced. “I have to be who I am. That is what you did, isn’t it? You were Arglwyddes Rhiannon, and nothing got in your way.” She stopped. “So what am I? Am I a noblewoman with magic, or am I a witch with a title?”   
Well, which was it? If she told her father she couldn’t be Ardalyddes, she would still be the same person — wouldn’t she? But magic — how would she give that up? Could she, even? She held up her hand and snapped her fingers. Take away the wand, and there was magic there. Even Angharad saw it.   
“Okay, enough rambling already,” Lily said. She looked at the portrait on her wall and added, “You know what I have to do, Eira, to be the person I am.” 

 

“Ni galla i bod Ardalyddes, Da.” [1]  
Dafydd blinked. “Lily, are you sure?”   
“Yes, I am.” Lily stood and poured herself some tea. “Yes. You were right–I needed to make a choice.”   
“So you chose to leave us behind?” he asked.   
Lily's lips tightened into a sad smile. “It’s what I have to do. I cannot serve Môn with the same dedication as Eira, as you, so I have to give them someone who can do. Petunia can.”   
Dafydd looked down. “I’ll call for her, then.”   
He left the room and returned with a confused-looking Petunia in tow. As she moved to stand next to Lily, Dafydd faced them both. In a formal voice he said, “Petunia Carys Evans, your sister has found herself unfit to be my successor. She wishes you to inherit instead. Will you take on this honourable task?”   
“I will not,” Petunia replied.   
Dafydd blinked and tightened his mouth, but all he said was, “Very well. I shall call my brother, John Evans. Thank you.” He turned his back and left the room.   
Lily turned to Petunia. “You could’ve told him you’d think about it.”   
“Yeah,” Petunia said. “I guess I could lie to get Da off your case.” She looked at her sister and sighed. “These people in our house, Lily—these are your people! They would do anything, give anything, for you. And the second you’ve found something that seems better, you leave them all behind?”   
Lily’s eyes filled with tears. “No,” she protested. “You have to understand. I never wanted this—I didn’t — you know I didn’t — but I had to! And this is what you wanted most, the title, wasn’t it?”   
“Lily,” said Petunia, “Do you really think that? That I would ever want to have — something, anything — because you weren’t available?” She pushed her hair behind her ear. “In London, I am good at what I do. There, I am never anyone’s second choice.”   
Lily looked at her sister. There was no envy on her face, no disdain, only a real pain, a true pain. “Petunia….”   
“And this has all happened before! The witch, the forgotten sibling… except that you never learn from your past. What if the reason Eira died was not that she couldn’t train her magic, but that she was trying to control it? What if she would rather die than be a freak like you?”   
Lily stood, muted. Petunia went on. “But you never take anyone’s advice but your own. Did you ask any of your beloved family what we thought you should do?”   
Lily realised Petunia was right — this decision was one she couldn’t make alone. There was only one person to help her, one who knew the issue as she did, one who saw that her choice was the only one she really had….   
“Excuse me,” she said, and she walked to her room and took out a leaf of parchment. She wrote: 

Dear Remus,   
Well, I told my family. They were startled, but my parents will come around in time. Petunia I’m not so sure about. But my father urged me to choose one path over the other. So I gave up my title. And–well, no one thinks I did the right thing, but- 

She looked at the words she had just written. That wasn’t true. Or was it? Her father had looked sad, but resigned. Was what Petunia said true? Had she done wrong? Was she being too selfish? She finished the letter: 

But you will know what to do — or what to undo.   
Love,   
Lily 

She added a P.S. Maybe I should rethink this all, but then blotted it out. Looking over the letter, she decided to rewrite the whole thing, not just the postscript. Lily left the letter on the desk as a reminder for the morning. Blodeuwedd looked at her, but Lily said, “Not now, okay?” and turned her attention to the record player at her side. Dafydd Iwan sang his songs, and as Lily closed her eyes, his voice became that of Hen Daid in the hospital.   
“Arglwyddes Rhiannon, bore da. Years ago, there was another Arglwyddes Rhiannon. The past always repeats, does it not? She had the same responsibility, the same power. Would that she had it for longer, but…. I have watched you. And you can succeed as she did.”   
Lily sighed. For a girl of ten, that speech had made her feel so significant. It made her feel special. And then, when they picked on her at Hogwarts, it felt like all she had.   
There was a knock on the door, and a voice called, “Arglwyddes Rhiannon? Would you like supper?”  
Lily opened the door to see Gwen in the hallway, a concerned expression on her face. She did her best to smile. “No, thank you. Please tell my parents that I have a headache and will lie down to rest.”  
Gwen nodded and walked away. Lily closed the door and chose a new album. When it finished, she picked another one. And on and on, until she decided to close her eyes for just a moment….  
When Lily woke up, she heard a few voices in the front hallway belonging to her mother and… Remus? She sighed and ran a brush through her hair before opening her door and stepping out.  
“-Yes,” Remus was saying. “Hogwarts has it all worked out so that the letters come to wherever I am, not to my home.”  
Lily’s mother nodded. “I should have known they’d find a solution.”  
They both looked up as Lily walked down the stairs. “Remus,” she called. “How are you?”  
“I got your letter,” he answered.  
“Oh… right,” Lily said.  
“Lily, Remus,” her mother broke in. “Why don’t you two have a picnic and talk about it all? Remus, you can take my horse, Gwyn.”  
“Um,” Remus mumbled, “okay.”  
Lily turned to Remus. “I’ll change,” she said, pointing to her dress, “and get some gear for us. I’ll be right back.”  
She ran back up to her room and leaned against the door. Blodeuwedd hooted at her from the window. Lily narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. She had asked Blodeuwedd not to send the letter. Hadn’t she? Lily sighed and changed into her shirt and jodhpurs.  
When she walked back downstairs, she tapped Remus’ shoulder and nudged him outside, to the stables.  
“Bran!” she called out.  
A young man ran out of the building. “Yes? Arglwyddes Rhiannon, what can I do for you?”  
“Bran. Can you get Gwyn and Gwyrdd ready for me?”  
A woman dashed out of the house, holding two saddlebags. “Arglwyddes Rhiannon?” she shouted. “Here’s your picnic lunch.”  
“Diolch, Mrs. Williams,” Lily said. Bran led out the two horses. Lily turned to face Remus. “This is Gwyn.”  
“Lily, I’m not great at riding,” Remus said. “I’ve been a few times, sure, but- “  
“Don’t worry, this’ll be easy,” Lily said, and the two mounted and began to ride off.  
It wasn’t long before they reached a clearing in the forest. Lily looked around it and said, “Yes, this looks like a good place. Shall we see what Mrs. Williams packed for us?”  
But once Remus was sitting on the blanket with Lily, he squeezed her hand. “Now, Lily,” he asked, “what about this?” He held out the letter.  
Lily opened a saddlebag and pulled out a thermos. “That’s what I had to do.”  
Remus nodded. “Yes, I thought it might be. And of course no one else understands it — they don’t have magic.” He reached out. “Could I have a cup of tea too, please?”  
“Oh, sure, of course.” Lily dug out two teacups and filled them. “Only Petunia was all on my case about abandoning my family.”  
“But you’re not leaving — all you’re giving up is the title,” Remus protested. “And what is that? Nothing. It’s - Lily, it isn’t you.”  
Lily took a sip of her tea. “No, it’s more than that. I don’t go home now, except in the summer. And even then, I ignore them most of the time. Eventually - well, I had to choose between the Muggle world and the wizarding world, and I chose the world that didn’t have them in it.” She looked down at the blanket.  
Remus lifted her chin. “You chose the world that has you in it.” He added, “Now, let’s eat!”  
The two of them spread out the meats, cheeses, and crackers, setting aside a warm jar. Remus held up the jar. “Rarebit?” he asked.  
Lily smiled. “Yes. Mrs. Williams makes the absolute best in all of Wales. Want some?”  
They spent a few minutes piling food on their plates and eating.  
Lily cleared her throat. “Back to business?” she asked.  
“Back to business,” Remus agreed. “So, how did your family take the news?”  
“They were thrown,” Lily said. “As thrown as I was. You know, you live your whole life thinking it’s all one story, and then you see it’s about something else entirely. They need time is all.” She frowned. “Not Petunia, though.”  
Remus asked, “So, she won’t be Marchioness, then?”  
“No, she won’t.” Lily cleared her throat. “She says she can’t take a post where I was the first choice, not her.”  
“But she’s the first choice now.”  
Lily shook her head. “There are two things. First, as eldest, the title should have gone to her. She had been preparing for that all her life; we all had. It hurt her indescribably when they went over her head and chose me. So how can she say she wants it now? Also, my grandfather was offered the title when Aunt Eira died, and he refused it for the same reasons. So it makes sense.”  
“But it’s not the same — you haven’t died. So how can she hurt you like this as well as your parents?”  
“How can I put her in this position?”  
Remus grabbed her shoulders. “You aren’t. She is your sister, so you care about her and want her to be happy. And that’s great, and it makes you a better person. But this information — it made everyone around it sad. So let her do what you did — let her be sad and then move on.” He caught sight of Lily’s eyebrows. “She will get over it. Maybe not the way you’d want her to, but she will. Just give it time, at least longer than two days.”  
Lily nodded. “I will, Remus. But in the meantime, I think we should head back.”  
They repacked the blanket and food and began the trail back to the house. However, about halfway back, Lily guided them off the path, until they came back to the cemetery. She dismounted and tied Gwyrdd to the fence, and she saw that Remus did the same with Gwyn. They walked through the gate, and Lily guided Remus to Eira’s grave. They knelt in front of the stone.  
“So, this is your Aunt Eira’s grave?”  
“Yes.”  
He pointed to the inscription. “What is this?”  
“My family’s epigram. ‘The last enemy destroyed shall be death.’” She looked down. “And she sure enough was dutiful to death.”  
“Yeah. But you can be too.”  
“Can I? What is duty?”  
“Duty is something you do, no one else. It’s not what anyone asks of you. Eira’s duty was what was right, for her. But you, no one else, know what is right for you.”  
“No, Remus. What’s right is right forever.”  
“Lily, the past is important, but it doesn’t define you.”  
Lily shook her head. “No, you don’t understand. It’s all right. But see, the past isn’t only important. Sometimes it’s all we have.” She sat up. “When I learned that Aunt Eira turned down Hogwarts, what was the first thing we checked? Whether it had happened before. In the past.”  
“Okay, Lily. If you want to live in the past, you can.” He pulled her up. “Or you can use your moral compass to go through your present and future. I think it’s clear in which of these you can help people.”  
“Good point,” Lily said. “So, what I decide does not have to be what she did.” She paused. “But it can be.”  
Remus grimaced. “Yes, it can. And there are witches and wizards who live in the Muggle world. You met one in Cardiff. But think of all the reasons you decided not to go home as much as before. Those won’t go away. And you will always have magic. There is no way, no way, to give that up.”  
“Really? Where did you learn that?” Lily asked.  
“Oh - Muggle Studies.”  
“Right.” Lily nodded. “You’re right. I know what I have to do.” She turned back. “But - I won’t leave my family.”  
Remus mounted Gwyn. “You should talk to them.”  
Lily mounted her own horse, and the two of them headed back to the house.  
When they arrived, Lily called out, “Diolch, Bran!” as he led the horses away. She led Remus to the library. “I’ll talk to my dad first,” she said. “I’ll be back soon.”  
Remus nodded, and she walked to her father’s study. “Da?” she asked.  
Her father turned around in his chair. “Lily? What is it?”  
“I have to talk to you,” Lily said. Mr. Evans pointed to a chair, and Lily sat down. “It’s about yesterday. Even if I am not marchioness, I will never leave this family.”  
“But it seems you will. If you don’t take the job here, you’ve got to have a job elsewhere, haven’t you? Most likely outside Wales.”  
Lily smiled. “Da, you know about Floo Powder, right? That we use in the living room fire?” He nodded. “Well, lots of witches and wizards use that to travel to work, even in other cities. So I can do that too - I’m not going anywhere.”  
He nodded. “Good,” he said, and Lily, smiling, turned toward the door. When she got back to the library, Remus was peering at one of the family’s many chess sets. She sat down next to him.  
“One down, two to go,” she said.  
“So how did he take it?” Remus asked.  
“Pretty well,” Lily said. “I’ll talk to my mom soon.” She pointed to the set. “Want to play?”  
The chess game turned out to be more evenly matched than Lily had expected. An hour passed, and the game had not yet finished. It was then that Petunia walked into the room.  
Remus stood. “Remus Lupin,” he said, holding out his hand.  
Petunia, though, brushed past it. “I see you have a new freakish friend,” she said to Lily. “So, then. Any second thoughts about abandoning your family?”  
“I talked to Da,” Lily said. “He agreed with me that I don’t have to live where my job is. I’ll stay here, in this house.”  
“But not in this world,” Petunia shot back. “Right?”  
Lily swallowed and looked at Remus. “She is in this world, right here, right now. So why not make the most of it?”  
“I’m not the one she will leave when she goes,” Petunia muttered as she walked out of the room.  
“Why don’t you stand up to her?” Remus asked. “At school, there is no one you fear. What makes her so different?”  
Lily smiled. “She’s my sister,” she said. “So how can I fight her, when she has never been my enemy?” She looked at Remus. “You haven’t any brothers or sisters, have you?”  
“No,” Remus said. “And glad of it. I wouldn’t want to put them in danger.”  
“Well, siblings know you, even your most unpleasant secret,” Lily said. “And-“ She paused as an owl tapped on the window, holding two letters. She handed Remus his and continued to speak as she opened her letter.  
“Petunia knows that I always felt important, special.” She twisted her mouth into a grimace. “And now that I gave this up - I’m as ordinary in this world as I am in the wizarding world — just a person.”  
Remus raised his eyebrows. “Oh?” he asked, holding up the badge that fell out of the envelope.  
Lily clasped her hands together. “I made Prefect! That’s great!”  
“See?” Remus said. “You are special. And you need nothing to appear that way — people will always recognise it in you, marchioness or not.”  
Lily looked at the matching badge at Remus’ side. “And you are every bit as special as I am.”  
Mrs. Evans came into the library Spying the two badges, she said, “Oh, you’re both prefects, then! How marvellous! We simply must get you up to London for a bit of shopping before school.”  
“Yes, that sounds good,” Remus said. “We certainly should get a few new books.”  
He nudged Lily, and she said, “Mam, I gave up the marquessate yesterday.”  
Mrs. Evans nodded. “I thought you might,” she said.  
“Really?” said Lily. “Well, I hope you won’t consider it as an abandonment. With or without the title, you are all still my family, and this is where I live.”  
“Yes, of course,” her mother said. “Do as you must to stay safe, Lily. That’s all I ask.” She turned to Remus. “Now, Remus, are you staying to tea?”  
“If that’s all right.”  
“Yes, of course it is! I’ll let Mr. Davies know.”  
They had just finished the second game when Mr. Davies appeared in the doorway. “Arglwyddes Rhiannon, Mr. Lupin,” he announced, “tea is in the dining room.”  
“Thank you, Mr. Davies,” Lily said. “So, Remus, shall we go? Leave it,” she added as he picked up the chess set. “The maids will manage.”  
“Show me where,” said Remus, putting down the chess set and holding out his arm. Lily laughed and grabbed it, guiding him through the halls to the dining room, where she saw her mother, her father, and Petunia already seated.  
“Hello, Lily, Remus,” her mother said. “Everyone, today Lily and Remus found out something special. And what was that, dear?”  
“We will both be the Gryffindor prefects for our year,” Lily said, half-fearing Petunia’s reaction.  
Petunia raised her eyebrows, but it was Mr. Evans who spoke up. “So you’ve not lost all position, I see. Good for you.”  
Lily felt a chill run down her spine, and she looked over at Remus as her mother babbled on about shopping trips and success at school.  
After tea, Remus said, “Well, I should get back, I think.”  
“Oh no!” Lily’s mother protested. “So soon! Hadn’t you rather stay the night here and head back in the morning?”  
“No, I’m afraid I can’t,” Remus said. He shot Lily a look, and she nodded. “I would like to call a cab to the train station though.”  
Mrs. Evans’ forehead creased. “But can’t you - Floo - home?”  
Remus shook his head. “I didn’t know your house was hooked up to the Network, so I bought a return ticket. I’ll be glad of the journey.”  
“Our chauffeur can take you,” Lily offered. “I’ll just go tell him to bring the car around,” Mrs. Evans added.  
Lily turned as soon as her mother was out of earshot. “Remus,” she began, but could not bring herself to add the rest.  
“No, Lily,” he said, “you’ll be fine. Look, I’ll write to you every day. And in just a few weeks, we’ll be in London.”  
Lily looked down. “Weeks?”  
Remus reached out for her chin. “Lily. It’ll pass in a flash. You’ll see. And if you need me, you can always Floo.”  
Lily nodded. “True.” She put her arm around Remus’ shoulders. “Thank you so much for stopping by. I couldn’t have a handle on this without you.”  
“I was happy to be here,” Remus said. He turned to face Mrs. Evans as she returned. “Thank you for having me, Mrs. Evans. I’ll see you in a few weeks.”  
With a hurried “Goodbye!” he got into the car and drove away.  
True to his word, Remus wrote every day. Between his and Severus’ frequent letters, Lily found the ability to ignore even Petunia, spending her time instead looking forward to the trip to London.  
Four weeks to the day, the Evans family boarded the train to London. Almost the moment they stepped out, Petunia said, “If you’ll excuse me,” and hailed a cab. Lily and her parents made their way to their London house.  
As Lily kept reminding her parents, being a Prefect did not require any specific books or special supplies, but it still seemed there were many goods to buy Lily and Remus talked and laughed over piles of cauldrons, crystal balls, and tales of past Hogwarts prefects.

 

[1] I cannot be the Marchioness, Da.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

All too soon, Lily found herself at the train station, with her parents and Petunia. As her parents waved at the train, as Petunia turned to leave the platform, Lily prepared herself for another year at Hogwarts.  
Soon after they left, James, Sirius, and Peter entered the compartment where Lily and Remus were. Lily responded to James’ enthusiastic greeting with an eye-roll. Remus said, “Hello, all. I’m sorry, but Lily and I have to go — prefect meeting.”  
James’ look of smug composure faded for a split second. Sirius jumped in with “So, you made Prefect, did you, Moony? Good show!”  
In the hallway, Lily asked, “Did you see that? Potter expects everything!”  
“No, I doubt that,” Remus demurred. “I think he and Sirius are neck and neck for the most detentions in our year. There is no way he even wanted the prefecture.”  
Lily twisted her face in uncertainty but said no more on the subject.  
Several students already in their Hogwarts robes signalled the Prefect meeting. Two students a few years older stood at the front. As they raised their hands, silence fell over the car, and the boy spoke.  
“Hello, all,” he said. “My name is Will Jones. I am the Head Boy, and this is Sarah Fawcett, Head Girl. Now, let’s all make plans for a successful year at Hogwarts.”  
Lily looked around as he outlined the seventh-year Prefect duties. Severus was not there; the two Slytherin prefects were Anthony Goyle and Cassiopeia McArthur. Mudhi, Lily was glad to see, was one of the Ravenclaw prefects, and the other was Jonathan Stewart; the two for Hufflepuff were Dorcas Meadowes and George Davenport. Lily turned her attention back to the Head Boy.  
“So, last, we have the new Prefects. I know the new duties can seem intimidating at first, but you will be fine, trust me.” He smiled. “So, the pair from each house will have control over one calendar month each, starting tonight with Ravenclaw House. The older house prefects will give you some guidance on how to make these rounds; please look to them as mentors. You may go to them with any questions, as well as, of course, Sarah and myself.  
“Now, each prefect may reprimand students who do not follow the rules as here listed.” He passed around several thick manuals. “There are a few benefits to your position. I’m sure most of you by now have heard of the prefect bathroom; it is a lovely spot for a bath. Also, there is a section in the library reserved for prefects. And of course, you have permission to walk the corridors at all times, even after the curfew, when wearing your badge. Well, are there any questions?”  
Mudhi raised her hand. “It is possible, however unlikely, that one prefect may catch another in misbehaviour. May one prefect therefore reprimand another?”  
Sarah spoke up. “Good question,… Mudhi Boötes. Yes, you may. The precedent in these matters is to cede more power to the party who has been prefect longer. If both parties are of the same year, Will or myself will decide it.” She paused. “If you worry about an older prefect, please let either of us know. Are there any other questions?” After scanning the room, she finished, “All right. Let’s have a great year.”  
The students filed out of the car. Remus tapped Lily’s shoulder. “I think I’ll find James and them,” he said.  
Lily rolled her eyes but nodded and wandered off to find Lupita’s car. When the train pulled into the station, Lily, Lupita, and Mudhi grabbed one of the horseless carriages. The Sorting Ceremony was not much different from in earlier years. However, Lily, as prefect, put a little more effort into welcoming the twelve new Gryffindors, who looked as scared as she herself had been four years ago. After dinner, she made sure all the first years were a part of the crowd of Gryffindors swarming along the halls to the common room. Lily excused herself as soon as she had shown the first-year girls where to find their dormitories, and she settled on her regular bed, awaiting the next day’s classes.  
The classes, while no more difficult than the year before, had triple the workload. Many of Lily’s fellow students widened their eyes as one professor after another assigned an essay for the next day that in the past would’ve been the project of an entire week. The only positive result of the increase in homework was the renewal of Lily’s study group with Lupita and Mudhi. Its increase to three times a week gave them plenty of time to talk.  
At one of their meetings, the conversation turned to their summers and life at home.   
“So,” asked Mudhi, “who has had the most unpleasant summer?”  
All three girls raised their hands. Lily thought, This was the hardest summer of my life. How can their trouble be like mine? But then she remembered Dumbledore’s words.  
“At least the two of you made Prefect,” Lupita said.  
“Why? What happened?” Lily asked.  
“Oh, nothing much,” said Lupita. She laughed. “I guess I won’t make worst summer, then. What about you, Mudhi?”  
“Well, Starhi just got a gig with Pride of Portree,” Mudhi said. She sighed. “I miss Quidditch, I do. But my family’s expecting such greatness from a Ravenclaw.”  
“Maybe you can do both,” Lily said. “Mudhi, your grades have been good, and your behaviour is too — you made Prefect. But you can’t live your life on only others’ expectations; you must do what is right for yourself. You’ve done all this — maybe you can play a little Quidditch too. Sign up for the Ravenclaw team this year.”  
“But - I can’t — it’s OWL year!” Mudhi protested. “Maybe next year-"  
“Right,” Lupita said. “Because it will be so much easier with NEWT-level classes.”  
“I know the workload is greater,” added Lily. “I can help you with that. And being on the team might make you more content to study.”  
“And if it’s greatness they want,” said Lupita, “they’ll find it there. I saw you play — you’re better than even James Potter. You’ll be playing for England in a couple years — just wait and see.”  
“Fine,” Mudhi said. “Auditions are in a few weeks; I’ll try out then.” She leaned across the table. “I am, though, still going to study. And I’m afraid Quidditch practice will take up much of my time. But if you cannot alter the times, I’ll save the team for another year.”  
“But of course we can move the sessions!” said Lily.  
“Don’t worry about that,” confirmed Lupita. “So, what about you, Lily?”  
Lily stammered, “I guess I won’t win, either.”  
Later that evening, Dumbledore’s words turned through Lily’s mind again. Was she too involved in her own troubles? Was there something about Remus she had ignored? Where did he live, anyway? Remus almost never talked about himself or his family. And - Lupita too!  
“Lupita?” Lily whispered.  
“Yes?” she answered.  
“So, how was your summer?”  
Lupita sat up and pulled on a robe. Lily grabbed her shawl and followed Lupita to the common room. As soon as she got there, Lupita turned around. “My summer was — well, it was fine, mostly.”  
Lily lifted her chin. “But?”  
“But my parents wanted me to apply for a transfer to Escuela Gaudí in Spain, or to Beauxbatons Institute in France - just not here. They’re worried about this Lord Voldemort.”  
“Yeah, I can see that. We’re safe here, though. He would never attack Hogwarts - not with Dumbledore the headmaster. He defeated Grindelwald, you know.”  
Lupita nodded. “Yes, I know. But still — maybe they’re right.”  
“Maybe they are.” Lily looked down for a moment. What could she do? What could she do? She looked up.  
“Why not talk to Dearborn about it? He could give you some helpful tips, I’m sure. And you’ll be safe as any of us, you’ll see.”  
“Yes, I’ll try that,” said Lupita. “Whether it works — that’s another story.” She smiled and walked back upstairs, and Lily followed.  
The next night was Lily’s and Remus’ first prefect round. After supper, the two of them arranged hat, cloak, and badge, and Lily picked up the paper where Marlene McKinnon, an older prefect, had written their course for the evening. Remus and Lily then paced the corridors. After two silent, empty floors, Lily turned to face Remus. “So, Remus, I’ve been wondering….”  
“Yes?”  
“Only you said something about the Pensieve - you knew about it — how did you know about it?”  
“You know,” Remus said. “My father works in the Ministry of Magic. It lets me in on a few details.” He paused.  
“Does your father have a Pensive, though?” asked Lily.  
“Lily,” Remus said, “he might. I don’t know.” He turned. “But - here we are, Prefects! Have you thought of how you will use your new power?”  
“To keep the school ordered,” Lily said primly.  
Remus widened his eyes. “Of course!”  
Lily laughed and shook her head. Then she continued in a more serious voice, “I have been thinking about it, though. In the Muggle world, I would’ve used my position to resolve conflict and inequality there. So now I have position here and none there, I will work on the inequality and war here, on students that may be part of it.” She narrowed her eyes. “What about you? Will you catch your friends out at last?”  
“I’ll look into that,” Remus said.  
The pair rounded a corner and found a young girl looking all around her.  
“Hello,” Lily said gently.  
“Hello,” the girl said.  
“What are you doing here?” Lily asked.  
“I - I was just — just walking, and I lost track of time.”  
“You know you can ask the older students for directions,” Remus said. “So that you remember, we will have to take five points from Ravenclaw House.”  
“Okay,” said the girl with a downcast look.  
“It’s okay,” said Lily. “Just don’t stay out too late again. Now, Ravenclaw Tower is this way. Good night.”  
The girl walked off in the direction Lily pointed.  
Lily smiled and took Remus’ hands. “Do you remember when we were in first year too, and the fifth-year prefects looked so big and powerful?”  
Remus laughed. “And now it’s us, and we feel like we don’t really know what we’re doing. And then there are the NEWT students, and Head Boy and Girl, now.”  
“I don’t know. It seems somehow reachable now,” Lily said. “I might work up my grades and see if I can’t make Head Girl.” Her eyes lit up. “You should try for Head Boy!”  
Remus shook his head. “I don’t think so. Look-" he raised a hand as Lily opened her mouth — “Dumbledore let me in school here, I know, and he let me be prefect, which is one more risk than I thought even he would take. But I can’t be Head Boy, I just can’t.” He added, “Plus, my grades are nowhere near as good as yours.”  
“Well, just try. Please, to give everyone some competition, at least.”  
“All right, I’ll try. But don’t be too surprised when I don’t make it.”  
“Don’t be too surprised when you do,” Lily said. “Anyway, how were your parents when you told them? I’d bet they were ecstatic like mine.” She wrinkled her forehead. “It really means a lot that you came to see me that day. You found my house, but I don’t even know where yours is.” She reached for his hand. “Remus, where do you live?”  
He tilted his head. “Not far,” he said. “In the country, around Cornwall.”  
Lily nodded. “I’d like to go there sometime.”  
“I don’t know if that’s the greatest idea. It puts you — well, you’d be in the same house as me.”  
“I already am,” she pointed out.  
“Yes, but my home hasn’t the protections of Hogwarts.”  
“Remus. You are smart. So am I. Between the two of us, I’m sure we can find a way. Plus, we can see what Pensieve your father has, and what memories.”  
“Lily - “  
“You know, I spent a lot of the past year worried about memories. The past caused great conflict, but now it’s over; it can’t haunt us more than it has. So memories in the Pensieve are items of great power. And so you must face them, put them behind you. That way, the past will never bother you again. I can help you as you helped me.”  
Remus smiled. “I will be glad of the help, too,” he said, squeezing Lily’s hand. “And when should this take place?”  
“Over Christmas, I think. It’s the next time you can go home, and I can, too.”  
“That makes sense. I’ll talk to my father about it.”  
They walked back in silence, and soon they came to the Fat Lady. After answering “Hydra,” they both entered.  
The first Hogsmeade weekend, Lily stepped eagerly into Gladrags, while Severus stocked up on Potions supplies. As she browsed new robe designs, someone behind her coughed. Lily turned to see Bellatrix behind her.  
“Hello, Miss Evans,” she said.  
“Hello,” Lily shot back.  
“So, I heard that you had quite the conflict over the summer.”  
“Really?” Lily asked. “Who told you that?”  
“Oh, I have my ways,” Bellatrix said airily. “But really, it’s too bad. You make the choice to come back, and the war is worse than ever. And why do you return? Because you think you are the only one to end it.” She laughed shrilly. “Dear, there are pureblood wizards, like Sirius, who have trained for this all their lives to be here now. You, though, have trained your whole life to be with your family, in the Muggle world. Why leave that to be in the middle of a war you don’t understand? Just go on back to the Muggle world and leave the likes of Sirius to deal with this one.”  
Lily shook her head. “I’m fine, Bellatrix, but I appreciate your concern.”  
Bellatrix rolled her eyes. “People should stay with their families,” she muttered, as she turned and walked out of the store.  
Severus walked in just then. “Bellatrix?” He asked Lily.  
“Bellatrix,” she confirmed. “And she knew about last summer. How did she know?”  
Severus shook his head. “She has a low-level Legilimency, I think. She may have picked up on your surface emotions.”  
“Great,” Lily sighed. “I fail at opposing believers in the inferiority of Muggle-borns because I, a Muggle-born, am not good enough at magic.” She frowned. “Maybe she’s right.”  
“Bellatrix has been practicing for years,” Severus protested. “You would best her in Charms in about ten seconds. Don’t listen to her, please.”  
“Sure,” Lily said. “I know, she wants Sirius back is all. But isn’t that noble? That she wants her family back — that even though she dislikes me, she seeks out my help?”  
“Lily,” Severus began. “Don’t feel sorry for her — you do that too much for everyone. Trust me, pure evil can seem more pitiful than anything. And just when you begin to feel for it, it will swallow you whole.” He stopped and turned. “Now, I do not like Sirius Black, but I wouldn’t wish him back with his family. That would be no good for him, or for the world. You know, Bellatrix just wants the family back to kill a lot of people.”  
Lily sighed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, Sev.”  
The two of them walked to the bookstore and began to browse titles. After they each had a stack, they paid and returned to the castle.  
Classes went on as usual, and Lily began to feel the rhythm of her studies so that the workload did not seem too overwhelming. However, this rhythm came to an abrupt halt the last night of the next full moon, when Lily visited Remus to check on his recovery.  
Lily pushed open the infirmary doors with a thud and strode quickly back to Remus’ usual bed. “Remus,” she began, I am working on Christmas, I really am, but my own mother is just-" Lily cut off her sentence and gasped as she caught sight of the new scars on Remus’ face.  
Remus half-smiled. “You know how this works, Lily - some transformations are harder than others. This was one of the harder ones.”  
Lily nodded. “But you’ll be all right?”  
“Yes,” Remus said. “Madam Pomfrey can fix anything. So,” he asked, “what were you saying before?”  
Lily tightened her lips. “Well,” she began, “my father and Petunia are both fine with my Christmas plans. By now it’s routine that I spend Christmas away, and Petunia doesn’t care where I am, anyway. My father trusts that I can put myself in situations that work well.”  
“But your mother?” Remus asked.  
Lily sighed. “She - well, she’s afraid to let me alone at your house.”  
“You would really be in danger at my house,” Remus said seriously.  
“No more than here.” Lily shook her head. “No, my mother hasn’t wanted to leave me alone since - well, since the summer. And I guess she’s worried that it will be just the two of us so long.”  
“I see,” said Remus slowly. “But it won’t just be us; my parents will be there too. Would it help if they speak?”  
“It might,” Lily replied. “Could my mother call yours?”  
“I’ll let her know,” Remus said. “They’ll get on nicely — my mother is from Wales as well.”  
“Really?” Lily asked interestedly. “From what part? And - why did you never tell me?”  
Remus raised his eyebrows. “You never asked, did you? But she is from Swansea, so you can speak Welsh over Christmas.”  
Lily smiled. “That sounds wonderful, Remus. But-" she tapped the books in her lap. “I can’t help feeling you’re distracting me from something, though. Tell me about last night, then.”  
Remus shook his head. “No, it was nothing. Just - there was something different in the air last night, and it — it made me more violent than usual. So I’ll stay here a little longer than normal, until after Transfiguration. But you can bring me the notes, right?”  
“Well, Lily said, “I can copy my notes, sure. But I’m afraid I am studying with Mudhi and Lupita after class, so I won’t see you until dinner. Maybe Black or someone could bring the notes by for you?”  
Remus frowned. “Do not speak to me of Sirius Black.”  
Lily sighed. “Remus. What happened last night?”  
Remus sat up. “Lily. Last night, when I transformed….”  
Lily straightened. “Yes?”  
“I… I wasn’t alone.” He looked down at his hands. “And I’m afraid I hurt someone, just as I told you I might.”  
“Who was with you? And what does Black have to do with it all?”  
Remus swallowed and looked back up. “First, I must tell you that these past months, I haven’t been entirely alone. Like you, I have also shown Potter, Pettigrew, and Black how to get to the Shrieking Shack. I told them this because I believed that they all knew what a secret this is, and because I trusted them. But in one of my confidants,” his mouth twisted into a grimace, “my trust was misplaced, to my shame and regret.”  
Lily wrinkled her brow. “And what happened?”  
Remus stared at the clock on the wall. “I’m so sorry, Lily, but I’ve hurt you by being your friend. You see, Black - he told Severus, and he saw me in my transformation. What I always feared,” he hung his head, “has happened.”  
Lily looked around. “I don’t see him here, though.” Her throat went dry. “He is all right, right?”  
“Yes!” Remus almost shouted. “James - James was there, and he kept Severus away from me. He was only bruised.” He cleared his throat. “But he was not unmarked.”  
“Looks like Black hurt him, not you,” Lily pointed out. Her eyes narrowed. “So, he put my two best friends in mortal danger, did he? I’ll be back!” Lily raced to the Great Hall. The students were still at breakfast, and at a nearby table, Lily saw Sirius Black talking and laughing with his friends.  
As Lily approached them, James turned and said, “Why, hello, Evans!” But Lily strode past him to grab Black’s robe and drag him out of the Hall.  
“Black,” she said with a snarl. “You risked the lives of my two best friends.”  
“Evans,” he said, cocky as ever, “are you going to hex me, then?” His voice wavered on the last word.  
Lily pulled out her wand and pointed it at Black’s face. “No,” she said finally. “I do not attack unarmed opponents, however much I dislike them. Nor,” she added firmly, “do I even think of murder.”  
“Now really, Evans-" James began, but Lily whirled around and silenced him with a glare. Turning back, she added, “You know, people tell me — all the time — that that is why I shouldn’t be friends with Sev, because he hurts people just because he doesn’t like them. But this — this was far worse than anything he’s done, ever! What happened? Maybe some of your family rubbed off on you? Once a Black, always a Black, huh?”  
Black’s face turned white, but Lily pushed on.  
“Okay, maybe you’re right. Maybe Sev had it coming, for being a good and true friend, just not yours. Should we kill all who aren’t our friends? Then never mind the war coming, there won’t be enough to fight it!”  
Black’s lips began to move. “No-" he stammered.  
“But Remus?” Lily asked. “He is your friend — best friend, you’ve said! And what has he ever done to deserve this? He’s not like Sev, or even me — we’ve lashed out at times, but nowhere near this. But he has done nothing unkind, not to anyone, not ever. He believed in you, he trusted you with everything. And you used his one secret against him.”  
Black’s eyes widened. “You know?”  
“Of course I know!” Lily retorted. “I - it’s my fault.” Her gaze lowered. “I told him to trust you. And he, a peaceful, kind person, believed me.” Her head snapped back up. “That is the person whose murder you planned?”  
“Snivelly couldn’t have hurt him,” Black said.  
“Right,” Lily said, “he would be dead. And when Remus found that dead body in the morning, do you not think he would have died of shame and regret? Because I know it. I went to see him in the hospital wing this morning, and he is suffering more than he has ever suffered before.” Lily’s eyes filled with tears. “And then my two best friends would be dead. And - why? Did I do something? Is that it?”  
“No one’s dead, Lily,” Black said.  
“Too right,” Lily responded. “You just planned them to be.”  
“No, I didn’t,” Black protested. “I just wanted to scare him - I didn’t think-"  
“Well,” Lily stated, “all of our actions have consequences. At least some of the time, we really should think about them.”  
Lily turned around and said, “James Potter, you are the only reason my two best friends are still with me. Thank you for your courage and quick thinking.”  
She walked to the doorway and turned back. “One last thing. Peter, James, even if I befriend you one day — oh, come off it, it doesn’t look that likely — but even if that happens, I shall never be your friend, Sirius Orion Black. Never.”  
She swept out the door and ran back to the hospital. Remus was bent over her notes, copying them into his own ledger.  
“Well, I talked to Black about it. When I see Sev, I’ll talk to him too.”  
Remus’ eyes widened. “No!” he gasped. “Lily, please don’t. Dumbledore already talked to him about it and made him swear not to tell anyone.”  
“But I already know, so that’s okay, right?”  
“It’s a slippery slope between telling one person and telling others. We’d best leave it as it is.”  
“All right, then.” Lily stood up. “Well, I’m off to class, and then the study group. I’ll see you after that.”  
That day was Double Transfiguration with the Slytherins, and Lily looked up and waved Severus over as soon as he came in.  
“What’s this, then?” She asked, pointing at a long cut along his right arm.  
“Oh, that’s nothing,” he said dismissively. “Just last night I bumped it against some rock.”  
“Hm.” Lily felt tempted to continue, but the memory of her promise to Remus had her leave it at “I hope it gets better soon.”  
In the class, Lily did her best to keep her friend’s spirits up, but he seemed depressed and ashamed, and he wouldn’t talk about his feelings at all. Lily even asked him specifically whether Sirius had been bullying him, but although he paled when she mentioned Sirius Black’s name, he shook his head.  
Once the painfully slow class was over, Lily headed to the library to meet with Mudhi and Lupita. No sooner had they opened their Charms books than Lupita pondered, “Severus seemed a bit jumpy in class today. Lily, did he say anything to you about it?”  
Lily thought quickly. “No,” she said, keeping her tone light. “I’m sure it’s nothing — just a bad bit of news is all. He’ll be better by lunch — you’ll see.”  
“I suppose so,” Lupita said, not looking entirely convinced. “Now then, what exactly are the uses of this Vanishing Charm?”  
The three of them began to fill their parchments with former uses (which ranged from pre-toilet manoeuvres to serial killers attempting to Vanish the bodies). Lily looked over the three sets of notes. She drew herself back. “That’s quite a mind you’ve got on you, Mudhi.”  
“Yeah,” Mudhi said. “I think you and Lupita were right to push me to join the Quidditch team. Since I joined, I’ve gotten better at Quidditch, obviously, but also at my classes, even with less free time to study.”  
“Being happy helps you accomplish more,” said Lupita. “Who would have thought it?”  
“Well, thank you both,” said Mudhi.  
Lily looked at the clock and realised there was not much time left to visit Remus before dinner. With a hurried “Excuse me!” She dashed off to the hospital wing.  
Remus was sitting up when she got there, and he quickly motioned her to pull up a chair beside his bed.  
“How are you?” Lily asked.  
“Fine,” said Remus. “Madam Pomfrey says I can go at the end of the day. Actually, I could now, but you know how she is about these things.”  
“Yes,” Lily replied. She took out her notes and laid them on the bedside table. “Here are my Transfiguration notes.”  
“You were in Double Transfiguration, right? How is Severus?”  
“He has a long cut on his arm-"  
“That must be from the tunnel. I didn’t touch him, I swear.”  
Lily shot a glare in his direction “— that didn’t look more than a few hours old.”  
“Right,” Remus said. “And - James, Sirius, and Peter?”  
“All right too.” Lily narrowed her eyes. “I had a talk with Sirius Black. He won’t be bothering you any time soon.”  
“Why? What did you say? What did you do?”  
“I don’t attack in school, Remus. Words were all I used.” Lily thought back. “Although I did use a great many words. I may have crossed a line. Well, I don’t care. In fact, I rather hope I did.” Her face darkened. “Sirius Black will never be a friend of mine.”  
Remus reached for Lily’s hank. “I’m glad there’s at least someone in this castle who feels like sticking up for me. Lily, I’m glad you said what you did. James Potter! You’d think, after all he did for Severus, he would be as mad as I am. But no — one stern lecture, and he’s best friends with Sirius again, just like always.” He drew in a long breath. “And Peter. I got that jerk in our group - I told James and Sirius to include him. But do I get any loyalty? No! Not when he’s too in awe of James to make a move against him!” He paused. “Wow, I really do go on, don’t I?”  
Lily grinned. “Yeah, you’re so talkative.” She shrugged. “You’re right, though. Those boys — all they want is to be popular. We can show them what’s what — just you and me.”  
“Okay,” said Remus. “Now, I’ll not keep you from dinner. But if you could devise something to make them sorry I’m not there, that would be great.”  
“Our first act as a new duo!” Lily exclaimed as she walked off to the Great Hall.  
Something to make them miss Remus. Well, he was the most logical, sensible, took the best notes… and was her friend. Ha! James liked her, and the only way she would even exchange the time of day would be to lean over him to talk to Remus. So… don’t talk to James? But she wasn’t going to, anyway. How was that a prank? Have an animated conversation with an absent Remus? No, that would only expose her to ridicule. So then? Lily squinted her eyes. This business of being funny was harder than she thought. It was too bad Starhi was off on Quidditch trials — she could whip up a prank in seconds flat. No, just Lily. Just plain, not-funny Lily. On whom Remus depended. Lily straightened her back. Remus needed her. She would pull a prank if it killed her. Wait… was that it? To play dead? No, she would just play sick, and — and ask for Remus’ help. And then when they couldn’t cure her, they would have to ask James’ least favourite person, the only other who might know - Severus. Okay. Lily entered the room. She took one of the sandwiches to eat, but no sooner had she taken the first bite than she mimed gagging. She walked over to where James, Sirius, and Peter were seated. “Potter,” she gasped.  
“Evans? What is it?”  
“Is - is Remus here? I - I think I may need a potion.”  
James looked at her oddly. “No, he’s in the infirmary still. But you don’t seem to need a potion. Here, allow me.” He grabbed Lily from behind and yanked on her stomach until a piece of bread flew out. “Take some water and you’ll be fine,” he said, patting Lily on the back. Lily turned and walked back to her seat. She sighed. Well, that didn’t work. Why didn’t it work? The Heimlich was a Muggle procedure. How could she know that James, a pureblood, would know what to do? Anyway, her life as a prankster was finished. After a few more bites, Lily got her books together for class. If she couldn’t even bend the rules, she would at least take the best Defence notes ever. It really was too bad Remus would have to miss his favourite class, yet again. But lucky for him, his only friend was almost as good in the class as he was.  
Lily shook her head. Better not to sound too much like Sirius. He had been her favourite of the group — well, second favourite, after Remus - definitely above James. At least Sirius wasn’t obsessed with her in an increasingly creepy way. At least he wasn’t the one Sev always mentioned as his bully. Why now? What happened? Was it his family — was it Bellatrix? Had she ruined him at last? Was it Regulus? Or was he just that way?  
She sat down and pulled out her quill and parchment. Dearborn walked into the room and announced the theme of the class — knowing which spells to use when. “Any good OWL-level wizard,” he said, “as I hope you all are, has at hand a set of spells to cast at a moments’ notice. But if (or when) any of you is so unfortunate as to suffer an attack, you won’t even have a moment, not to cast a spell, but to decide which spell to cast. Should you Disarm your opponent? Stun him? Deflect the spell? Or maybe use no magic and just flee?” He paused. “I hope it is clear, to you all, that this has no militaristic applications. I know some of you are concerned. But let me assure you, this is not a military school, and you are not soldiers.” He raised his eyebrows. “No, in the practical part of your exams, the judges will want to know that you can handle yourself in a crisis, one that with each new attack becomes more and more likely. And by Christmas that is just what you will be able to do.”  
Lupita raised her hand. “Professor, will this really be on the test? Surely the judges won’t attack us.”  
Dearborn shook his head. “No. Your safety is paramount to them. They are all well-seasoned witches and wizards, and they know better than that. However, they will indeed endeavour to seem as attackers. While ensuring your safety, to be sure. Rest assured that you will not suffer any harm or injury from your OWLs even if it seems certain that you will. Any other questions? Good. Whenever you enter a new space, you will first want to check….”  
Lily made sure to take the most thorough notes she ever had, and to her surprise, she noticed that James and Sirius were taking copious notes as well. Perhaps her prank had not been the utter failure it seemed! Or perhaps they just thought, as she did, that it was an interesting class. It was a shame Remus had to miss it.  
After that class, Lily went to Divination. At dinner, she remembered that Remus was in the infirmary until the end of the day. A burst of laughter greeted her as she opened the doors. Puzzled, Lily made her way back to Remus’ bed. There he sat, talking and laughing with James and Peter. Their heads looked up as she approached Remus and held out her notes.  
“These are the notes from class,” she said. “My prank at lunch didn’t work out, though. I’m sorry.”  
Remus smiled and reached out for the notes. “Thank you, Lily. And actually, your prank did work.”  
James began to speak. “It made me want to tell Remus all about my adventure with you, Evans. So Peter and I came, and tomorrow we will talk to Sirius again.”  
Lily frowned. “But I don’t understand. The Heimlich, it’s a-"  
“What?”  
“The Heimlich,” Lily repeated. “I still don’t know how you would know it, you’re a pureblood-"  
“Oh, you mean the Odair Procedure.”  
“Yes - no? How-"  
“It’s one of the few crossovers between Healing and Muggle medicine. Healer Odair thought the Muggles could use it since it used no magic.”  
“But - can’t we find a spell that does the same thing?”  
James smiled. “Yes, there are spells that work the same way. But sometimes, there is just no substitute for a good bit of force.”  
Lily nodded. “Well, glad to know it worked. I’m off to dinner, then. Should I bring anything back? Wait - no, you’ll raid the kitchens, right?”  
“You know us too well, Evans. ‘Bye then!”  
She walked to the Great Hall and chewed thoughtfully on a piece of chicken. Sure, she had known the fight with James and Peter wouldn’t last long. Remus was far too forgiving - but he seemed genuinely mad at Sirius - surely that was a wrong he wouldn’t forget in a hurry. But he had sounded mad at James and Peter, too. It was a shame he had to be friends with such arrogant jerks. But then, no one could be perfect.  
She half-smiled. That sounded like the sort of thing Sirius would say - so self-assured, so cocky - and what right had she to think like that? She raised her eyebrows. This line of thought was just going around and around and getting her nowhere.  
Lily waltzed through the next week of classes in a daze. She and Remus sat down for lunch, and she heard, “I was with Sirius the other day, and”  
He must have seen the shock on Lily’s face, because he added, “Sirius apologised to me again last night. And this time he meant it.”  
“So you’re friends again? Just because he’s sorry?”  
“Yes. It’s better this way. Sirius missed me this past week, and I - I missed him. He’s been my friend for a long time, Lily, they all have. He just messed up once.”  
“Messed up?”  
“He asked my forgiveness, Lily. What kind of person would it make me if I refused? And this is all just a start — he still has to earn my trust.” He paused. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”  
“Me? Mad at you? What have you ever done to deserve that? No! I just worry about you, Remus. You are far too forgiving, you know — you always have been. But staying mad at friends overlong is just as bad as trying to ignore their flaws. And having friends is, overall, a good thing. So if you have friends who make you happy, then I am happy for you. I have one question though. How are you and Severus getting on?”  
“It’s been a bit rough, but I think we’ve got back to where we were. He still dislikes James and Sirius rather intensely, and he seems jumpier than he was before, but the two of us are getting on fine, I think.”  
“Good. So I don’t need to talk to him about it?”  
“Please don’t. He promised not tell, so it’d be hard for him. Plus, I haven’t told him you know. That’s one secret I’d prefer to keep. Is that all right?”  
“Yeah, that makes sense.” Lily stood. “It’s almost time for Defence. It was a really good class before; you won’t want to be late.”  
That class was the last before Christmas. Lily and Remus sat in their regular seats. When Dearborn walked in, though, he led them all into the next-door classroom. Lily gasped when they walked in. The room did not look like a classroom, but more like a flat. A drum set stood in one corner; the floor was covered with back issues of the Daily Prophet. The smell of sausages and beer rose from the couch. Two doors led to a kitchen and bedroom.  
Dearborn raised a hand. “Who lives here?” He asked.  
“A bachelor?” Lupita offered.  
Sirius leaned his head out of the bedroom door and shook it. “No!” He shouted. “There’s jewellery here.”  
“A couple or just a woman?”  
“Just the woman, I think. Look at this closet — only skirts and dresses.”  
“Very good,” Dearborn said. “Is she a witch? How skilled?”  
Lily picked up the Daily Prophet copies. “No - I don’t think she is. How many Muggles live in the wizarding world?”  
“Right, she could be a Squib. Why?”  
Lily moved to the kitchen. “The order of items — especially here — is specific, like she has to move them herself. When witches and wizards cook, they are assisted by magic and can afford to be a bit more haphazard with the order of things.”  
“Good point. But what if she only cooks without magic?”  
“Look at these Daily Prophets. There is discarded twine here, so they were bundled, not sent by owl. Perhaps she is not even a Squib, just a Muggle with wizarding friends.” Remus walked to the front door. “Also, look at these deadbolts. It would take a lot of strength to get this door open. And since many wizards would unlock it magically, strength isn’t something often considered.”  
“True. Although those best at Defence know you should never just rely on one sort of protection. So, are we in Muggle or wizarding England?”  
“Muggle,” Mary said. “Here are the circuit breakers.”  
“Yes. For those who do not know what circuit breakers are, I suggest a course in Muggle Studies. So, if you wanted to protect this home and yourselves in it, what would you do?”  
About half of the class moved to the door. “What are you looking for?” Dearborn asked.  
“Our wands, professor,” Mary answered. “They’re just in the next room — we’ll be right back.”  
Dearborn moved to block the doorway. “As a witch, your wand is your first line of defence. Never let go of your wand, for you never know when you will need it.” He raised his voice. “Nevertheless, there may be times when your wand is damaged or you cannot reach it. Do not, do not use a damaged wand. It may do nothing, or backfire, or even explode, and only an expert in wand lore can make even an educated guess as to which. So you must be able to defend yourselves with or without wands.”  
Lupita raised her hand. “Yes, Miss de las Rosas?”  
“Sir, what about wandless magic?”  
“The NEWT-level Defence class will cover that. However, it requires a lot of concentration and energy. If you don’t do it exactly right, it can drain you extremely quickly. That is why even the most experienced witches and wizards save wandless magic for their final resource. Plus, learning this will give you more options for the future. All right?”  
The class nodded. “Then let’s begin.”  
“First of all, we don’t know where the attack will come from. So where should we be? Mr. Lupin?”  
“We should spread out among the three rooms.”  
“Right. Too many people in one place leaves us blind to the rest of the space. Now, look at everything here. Think about how it could aid your defence.” He pointed to the drum set. “This, for example. What can this do?”  
“It makes noise, sir. It could be used to send a warning to others in another room, without giving away our location.”  
“Also, the drumsticks can make it look like we have wands when we don’t.”  
“Very well. This. What does this do?”  
“It also makes noise, sir.”  
Lily held up the box of matches. “It’s flammable, sir.”  
“And, sir, it hides the floor from sight.”  
“Right you are, Mr. Black. Let’s see this floor, then.”  
They picked up the paper and saw a trapdoor.  
Dearborn cleared his throat. “As I said before, your first impulse must be to escape. Look for a door like this, or a basement or cellar. But make sure to hide your tracks, because if attackers know where you are, they can go there and fight.”  
“Let’s rumple all the newspapers, so as not to draw attention to this one spot. And pile everything, so maybe they won’t even be looking down.”  
“But just in case, we must go as far and as quickly and quietly as we can.”  
“Good point, Mr. Lupin. The vast majority of attacks will happen when you consider yourself safe. So always be on your guard. When you think you are through running, you never are. And change directions. Remember that the object is not to go far in terms of distance but rather to go where they cannot find you. However, in this case, running is out of the question. Why?”  
“Because they are already here.”  
“Right. Do not take your attention, even for an instant, from anyone attacking you. If you fail to deflect even one spell, the whole thing could be over while you’re pondering an escape route. And what good would that do anyone? No, run when you can, but you need to know when to fight too.”  
“So, he casts Stunning Spells. What are your options?”  
“Dodge the spell?”  
“Cast a Shield Charm?”  
“If you have a wand, yes.”  
“Well, Stunning isn’t permanent. So those of us with wands can Renervate those affected.”  
“True. And in larger groups, it may be useful to have one or two medics. No one can deflect or dodge all spells; there will be some need for restoration. But in smaller groups, everyone will need to take more active stances. So even if there are medics present, it is better not to depend on their support. What else?”  
“Disarm or Stun? Those would both disable them for future attacks.”  
“Yes. If you especially are protecting others, that may help. The Shield Charm will only protect yourself. However, the Disarming or Stunning Spells will be more difficult to aim than the Shield Charm. Remember that if your spell misses, it will, like all other spells, sap your energy a tad, but the effect on your aggressor will be the same as if you hadn’t done anything. So always go for the easier defence measures.”  
The class went silent, each student trying to think of another way to stop the attack. Dearborn added, “You can’t spend too long thinking of what to do; you must react on instinct. If you can’t come up with an answer right away, just use what you have thought of. Don’t spend too long thinking and not acting.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

Soon after that, Lily stepped back onto the train she thought she would never see again. She hid behind Mudhi as James got on; it would just complicate matters if he saw that she was going back too. Lily did not see Remus until the end of the ride. Once James, Sirius, and Peter had all left, Lily walked to Remus and the couple standing with him.  
“Hello,” she said to the man. “I am Lily Evans. It’s nice to meet you. And you too,” she added, turning to the woman.  
Mr. Lupin shook her hand gravely. “Hello, Miss Evans. I am Remus’ father.”  
Mrs. Lupin, however, grabbed Lily’s shoulders the second her husband finished talking and pulled her into a hug. “Lily! Prynhawn da! How are you?”  
“We’d best get to the car,” Mr. Lupin said. Remus took Lily’s hand and guided her to the family’s green station wagon.  
Before leaving the parking lot, Mr. Lupin turned from the steering wheel to face Lily. “Miss Evans, Remus here has told me that you know of his condition. Is this true?”  
Lily reached for Remus’ hand. “Yes, sir, it is.”  
“And you’re not worried about your safety?”  
“No, sir. I am as confident in my safety here as I have been the last five years at Hogwarts.”  
He turned around again and started the car. The Lupins’ home was, for its location in the country, surprisingly ordinary-looking, rather like the Evans’ home in Cokeworth. Lily walked past the stone pillars into the foyer. Mrs. Lupin pointed upstairs. “Your room is second to the left. We should have everything ready, but just let me know if you need anything.”  
“Mrs. Lupin, you may speak English to me if you prefer.”  
“O, Hope dw i, cariad! And please don’t mind my accent - I know it’s awful, I haven’t spoken Welsh in years — but do let me speak it to you, please.”  
Lily smiled. Finally, she was not the only one who missed Wales. “Of course. Diolch yn fawr, Hope.”  
“Remus. Why don’t you help Lily get settled in?”  
Remus carried Lily’s trunk upstairs and set it down. “So.”  
She sat on the bed and patted the space next to her. “So. Your parents are different, aren’t they?”  
Remus sat down. “My father is stricter, which I suppose he had to be, to raise me alone.”  
“Alone?” Lily asked. “But your mother is there too.”  
He nodded. “He was never truly alone. That’s how he sees it, though. Because Mum is a Muggle, you know. So my father didn’t think she could care for a magical child, much less — me. He thought she needed protection. And you do too.”  
She looked at him. “So that’s why he’s so — stiff?”  
“He fears any signs that I look forward to a normal life, because according to him, I can never have one,” Remus said.  
“But your mother disagrees,” Lily maintained, thinking, and so do I.  
Remus plucked at the blanket. “She thinks I should at least try. You see, my father pulled away from her in taking care of me, and she’s a bit lonely. And she thinks I must be, too.”  
“Are you?”  
He smiled. “You’re here. So what do I have to be lonely for?”  
Lily grinned back. “Remus, I’d like to use the restroom for a moment, please. Where is it?”  
Lily washed her face and walked back down the stairs. She found Mrs. Lupin on the sofa.  
“Cariad, sut rwyt ti?[1]”  
“Da iawn, diolch. I really appreciate you letting me stay here.”  
“No trouble! I’m just glad Remus has such a good friend at school.” She leaned in. “So, Remus tells me you’re a Muggle-born.”  
“Yes I am. Why?”  
“I haven’t been in the Muggle world in ten years. What is new?”  
Lily thought for a moment. Ten years ago was… 1965. Well…. “You’ve heard about the moon landing, right?” Mrs. Lupin nodded. “That made even wizarding news.”  
Lily said, “I’ve been occupied lately with the advances of the Welsh people in the British government, and I’m happy to say that there has been some progress. Where do you come from?”  
“Abertawe.”  
“Ah. I come from Ynys Môn.”  
“Evans… your family are Ardalydd Môn?” Lily nodded. “Who has that title now? Your grandfather?”  
“My father.” The oven’s timer dinged. “Can I help you set the table?”  
“Of course not! You are our guest. But if you could bring Remus, that would be great. Diolch.”  
Lily found Remus in his bedroom. She knocked on the door and called, “Dinner’s ready!”  
“Well,” he said as he opened the door. “You’re making friends with Mum, I see.”  
“Yes, I am. You’re right, she’s just lonely. And she misses speaking Welsh.”  
The family gathered downstairs and scooped out their lasagna. They sat down to eat it, and Mr. Lupin asked, “So, Lily, all settled in, then?”  
“Yes, sir. And I am paying attention to my security as well, as you suggested.” Lily tried to shoot him a friendly look, but all he said was, “Let’s hope it pays off then.”  
“Everyone,” said Mrs. Lupin, “I was thinking we might go into town in a few days, to pick some things up and to show Lily around.”  
“That sounds nice, Mum. I need some things for school, too. Hogsmeade has nice shops, but they are so overpriced.”  
“Are they really?” asked Lily. “They seem the same prices as Diagon Alley.”  
“Yes, but the prices are higher there too. And don’t get me wrong - Diagon Alley is still the place to go. Wands - no question. And the book selection at Flourish and Blotts’ is far better than anywhere else. But for things like quills and parchment — you’ll like our market.”  
“I’m sure I will. It’s a pity you’ll have to miss it, Mr. Lupin.”  
He merely nodded in reply, and the table fell back into silence.  
Mrs. Lupin cleared her throat. “So, Lily, how have you been enjoying being a prefect? Remus tells me you are the other for Gryffindor.”  
The rest of the dinner passed in relative silence. Once they had all finished, Mrs. Lupin waved off Lily’s offer to help with the dishes, and Lily went back to her room, where she found Remus.  
He raised his eyebrows. “Quite the helper around the house, I see.”  
Lily raised a hand. “I just offered to wash dishes. Anyone can do that. You’ll notice I didn’t offer to help with the cooking, though. Not so householdy after all.”  
Remus laughed.  
Lily continued. “No, I just want to help if I can. Speaking of which, what is your plan for the Pensieve?”  
“Well,” Remus said, “My father goes back to work tomorrow. We can look in his study then. Will that work?”  
Lily nodded. “Yes, that should be fine. And he never comes home for lunch?”  
“Not usually, no.”  
“Well, check whether he will tomorrow. If he doesn’t stay there, we’ll have to do it another day. You see, it might take awhile.” Lily touched his shoulder. “Remus, this information — whatever it is, it’s probably pretty serious. Are you sure you want to know it?”  
He looked at her questioningly. “Of course. Don’t you?”  
Lily said, “You know me, Remus. I’m just worried about you. I know you want to know just like I did, but your dad may have a good reason to keep this secret.”  
“Right,” said Remus. “But you talked me into this. You came all the way here. And now you think I shouldn’t even bother?”  
Lily dropped her hands. “No, Remus. I think you should find out the truth, as I did last year, but you saw how upset I was over it all. As your friend, I don’t want the same to happen to you.”  
Remus tapped her shoulder. “Thanks, Lily, but I’ll be fine. You’re right, the information might be a little shocking, but I’ll just be hurt for a little bit. And I agree that it is better to know the truth than to hide from it.”  
“Good. So - tomorrow, after breakfast?”  
“Yeah. Hey, I’m going down for some dessert. You want some?” he asked.  
“Sure.” Lily followed Remus to the kitchen, where he cut two slices from the cake on the table and carried them to the sink. “I’m getting tea. Would you like any?”  
“Yes, please. Here, let me get these.” Lily carried the slices to the living room. “This is a nice home,” she said.  
Remus sat on the sofa. “My father’s compensation to my mother to make her move so much. He has a good job. Not great, but I’m not quite so penniless as I seem at school.”  
Lily set the slices on the coffee table and reached for her teacup. “Well, with such a nice house, it’s a pity you don’t have guests over more often.”  
Remus nodded. “Right. In our last house, we never had any guests at all. Here, either, until last year. My mom missed guests. She misses friends and family.”  
“She misses Wales.”  
“Yeah.”  
Lily looked into her empty teacup. “I know. I do too.”  
Remus patted her hand. “I know, Lily. But it’s okay.”  
“This is good cake.” She got up. “I’m going to read some for Charms before bed.”  
Remus picked up the cups. “All right. I’ll be up in a minute.”

Lily opened her book then closed it again. She had thought that when this was all over, it would be over. “But I guess not,” she said to the wall. She heard Remus walk up the stairs and stop in her doorway.  
“You guess not what?”  
Lily grimaced at her history text. “This will just never end, will it? Your past will never cease to be your past; it will never no longer be relevant.”  
Remus asked, “And you think I will be haunted by my past, just as you are by yours?”  
Lily looked up at him. “Is it that crazy?”  
He tapped the door frame. “No. No, it isn’t.”

The next morning, Mr. Lupin had already left for work when Lily and Remus sat down to breakfast. Mrs. Lupin stood and held out cloaks as soon as they finished, saying, “I thought today would be good to go into town. It’s a bit of a walk, so we’d best get started now.”  
Lily mouthed “tomorrow” to Remus as they put the cloaks on, and then asked, “Hope? If it is a bit of a walk, why are we walking? Why not drive, or Floo?”  
“Bad things happen to Muggles in the Floo Network,” she said. “Or at least, so the Unspeakables tell me. And no one else drives there, so there’s no parking. No, better just to walk. But if you prefer, Lily, you may Floo there, and Remus and I will meet you.”  
“No, no,” Lily said. “A bit of a walk will do me good.”  
“Good, then.”  
Fortunately, it was not raining outside. The walk was not a long one, no longer than the road from Plas Newydd to Llanfair. St. Basil was a town rather like Hogsmeade, but with far fewer people — and, as Remus had mentioned, with far lower prices. Lily dashed into one shop to buy quills and a sheaf of parchment. Remus laughed. “Like you need the low prices, Lady Lily.”  
She looked down at her purse. “Okay, maybe I don’t. But when has it hurt anyone to know the value of money?”  
Remus tapped his own wallet. “Good point. Now, I need some new clothes. This way.”  
At the end of the street, there was a clothing store that, despite not looking half so fine as Gladrags, was at least much more sensibly priced. Lily looked at a few sets of robes, which were only 20 Galleons rather than 40. Mrs. Lupin came over to her while Remus began surveying hats and gloves.  
“Buying something, dear?” Mrs. Lupin asked.  
Lily hovered near the doorway. “I’m not sure. I wear Muggle clothing out of school. But I just might pick something up.”  
Mrs. Lupin said, “This might surprise you, Lily dear, but if I see something I like, I will buy it myself. Over the years, I have grown used to wizarding fashions. You see, when I need new clothes, I can’t always make it to the nearest Muggle village. I learned long ago not to cling to my memories, but to make do with what’s available. After all, I’m not in the Muggle world any longer.”  
Lily touched her shawl. “Do you miss it?”  
Mrs. Lupin shook her head. “No - well, all right, a bit. In the way that I think everyone misses a happy childhood. But not in any way that really matters. And not for a second do I regret leaving there or coming here. It was the only way to be with the people I was meant to be with, to do the work I was meant to do.”  
Lily looked up. “I had to choose that, over the summer. To leave the Muggle world.”  
Mrs. Lupin took her arm. “Right. Well, let’s wait for Remus to finish in the queues, and then we can get an ice-cream and you can tell me all about it.”  
She did not seem too shocked by the news. “My father met Arglwyddes Rhiannon. He always told me there was something different about her. Not so different after all, I guess.” She finished her ice-cream. “I know your choice was hard, Lily. But you made the right one. The one you had to make.”  
Lily smiled. “That’s what Remus tells me.”  
In the square across the street, vendors around the central fountain offered tickets to the nearby museum, telling how the town was founded in 1083. The museum was a small one, detailing life in town when it was founded. The three of them walked around the town and passed a grocery store. Lily turned to Mrs. Lupin. “Hope, didn’t you need a few groceries?”  
“Goodness, thank you for reminding me!”  
It was Lily’s first trip inside a wizarding grocery store. The first thing she noticed was that there were not many shopping carts. There were a few along the walls for the few customers who might need them, but almost all of the shoppers stood with their wands in front of them, holding their groceries in suspension. Also, there was no refrigerator section. Instead, food was ordered strictly by types of food, each one held at the best temperature for its storage. There were also several fruits and vegetables Lily remembered from her Potions classes; apparently they had applications in food as well.  
Mrs. Lupin turned toward Lily. “Yes, it’s quite different. I was surprised when I first came too. But the food is the same, more or less. So what do you want to eat?”  
“Is there any fish?” Lily asked.  
“Yes, the section here is fairly wide. This way.”  
Mrs. Lupin rang a bell on the counter. A tired-looking witch looked over. “What is it?” She asked.  
“I - I don’t have magic. Can you cut me off three pounds of redfish and three of cod, please?”  
The woman sighed. “Another Muggle!” she called. She raised her wand and placed the fish in two separate bags. After Mr. Lupin had grabbed a few other items, she moved to the checkout. The aisle was too narrow for the cart. The manager sighed and looked at the cashier when Mrs. Lupin tried to push the cart forward. He pulled out his wand and levitated the food. “Very well, that will be 51 Galleons, 7 Sickles, and 2 Knuts. No Muggle money, please.” Mrs. Lupin paid, and then they picked up the bags of food and returned from town.  
Once they were back in the house, Lily grabbed Remus’ arm and dragged him upstairs. “Did you hear that? How they were grumbling about your mother?”  
Remus sighed. “Yes, Lily.”  
Lily would have continued her protest, but Mrs. Lupin called from the kitchen, “Lily, would you help me, os gwelwch yn dda?” Lily went downstairs, and Mrs. Lupin said, “I hope the workers in the grocery store didn’t worry you.”  
Lily opened the refrigerator. “Worry me? It’s just — it doesn’t seem fair to you.”  
Mrs. Lupin reached for the first bag of groceries. “It’s a wizarding village, one of the oldest in England. It’s inside the larger Muggle community, of course, but we’re closer to the wizarding sector, and that is where we were shopping.”  
“So that makes it okay?” Lily asked.  
Mrs. Lupin instantly answered, “No. I wonder if you remember learning, though, about witch hunts in History of Magic.”  
Lily gathered together the fish. “Yeah, I do. Most of it did nothing.”  
“But some was very scary. And witches and wizards have long memories. When we first went into town, I was so afraid that Remus would be found out, would be cast out. But it seems I should not have worried for his sake, but rather for my own.”  
Lily stood back up. “Fear? Of Muggles? Why?”  
“People fear the unknown; they always have. Muggles fear wizards because they do not understand magic. So too witches and wizards fear Muggles because they can never know how Muggles do so much without it.” Mrs. Lupin smiled. “You should have seen the work Lyall had to do to let me even go into the grocery store there, or to get this house wired for electricity. But now, this community is fighting free of its prejudice, and each year that passes lets me further into the markets. Soon, they will be able to accept my son, too.”  
Lily picked up a magnet from Swansea. “You don’t regret it, then?”  
Mrs. Lupin took the magnet and put it back. “Regret it? Not for a second do I regret leaving there or coming here. It was the only way to be with the people I was meant to be with, to do the work I was meant to do. This is, I think, my purpose. This is the mark I can make on the world. I must, as we all must, do what I can to win the war. Because you saw a few months ago that not only wizards are affected.” She paused. “And I have not left Wales. It is still inside me. I am Welsh, as I always will be, and nothing can take that away.”  
Lily frowned. “The war? The wizarding war?”  
“So where do you think Voldemort’s ideas are coming from? From prejudices like this, of course.” Mrs. Lupin added proudly, “This war will not affect my people as it does the rest of Britain. That is my Task.”  
Lily nodded. “As it is for us all. Hey, you really know your History of Magic, don’t you?”  
Mrs. Lupin placed the fish in the freezer. “I like history. Always have.”  
“But - how?”  
Mrs. Lupin pointed to the bookcase. “Remus’ schoolbooks. We’re kind of opposite, me and him. When he takes vacation, that’s when it’s time for me to learn. It just started getting to know what he learned in school, but-"  
Lily spread her arms. “Our History of Magic professor is easily the most boring there. But the subject matter is so fascinating — you should come to Hogwarts and teach it! Then, some of us could actually learn something.”  
Mrs. Lupin smiled. “Wel…diolch yn fawr.”  
Lily smoothed her skirt. “There! That’s all the groceries.”  
Mr. Lupin was home soon after that. Lily stayed in her room and decided to begin her homework. Where to begin? She picked up her Potions textbook and began to research recent developments in the most basic potions, as well as the names of a few potioneers. Once she had several pages of notes, she began to compile them into an essay.  
After dinner, Remus and Lily tackled their Defence homework, a list of ten uses for each of five spells. After listening to Remus’ explanation of the drawbacks of the Shield Charm, Lily asked, “Wow, Remus, how much have you learned?”  
“Thanks! Dearborn is a really good teacher. I’m sure you’ve learned a lot too.”  
“Not like you. You have a true talent there. Don’t belittle it.”  
In the blink of an eye, a week had passed, and there were only four days before Christmas. Lily pulled Remus aside during their gingerbread house extravaganza. “Remus, we need to see the Pensieve now.”  
He nodded, and the next morning they walked down to the study and tried the door. It was locked. Lily raised her eyebrows as Remus fished around for a card.  
He looked at her shocked expression. “What, Lily? You can break the rules to find something out, but you can’t open a locked door?”  
“Where did you learn to pick a lock, then?” she asked.  
Remus raised an eyebrow. “You know. Well, that’s that, then.”  
They entered the room and looked around. It was hidden behind the desk, with several memories hanging at its side. Remus grabbed the first memory and poured it into the Pensieve, pushing in both his head and Lily’s.  
Mr. Lupin looked several years younger and far more carefree. He pointed to a man across from him, a man who was not in restraints, but rather talking and laughing with his coworker.  
“Now, Lyall,” said the man to his left, “It’s all right. We know who Mr. Jones is.”  
“Who he says that he is.”  
Mr. Jones took a few steps forward. “Gentlemen, I appreciate your concern, but I am a simple newspaper salesman, I assure you. Ask the mayor if you don’t believe me. I know, seeing such death is horrifying, and you only want to do your best.”  
Mr. Lupin cleared his throat. “I am glad you feel that way, Mr. Jones.” He raised his voice. “I accept, gentlemen, that most likely we do indeed know who Mr. Jones is. However, I would like to suggest, merely as a precaution, that we keep Mr. Jones here under surveillance for the next 24 hours, until the next full moon.”  
The men gasped. “But Mr. Jones is a Muggle! Surely you’re not saying that — that -“  
Mr. Lupin stepped forward. “That I think he is a werewolf. Yes, I am.”  
One of the men tapped his shoulder. “But Lyall, Muggles can’t transform. And he hasn’t a wand.”  
He swiveled around. “No, but how many werewolves have you seen with wands? Didn’t you notice the clues? There are a few markings that I-"  
The man in the most expensive-looking robes began to smile.“You? A Welsh Boggart expert caught the signs that an entire room of highly trained wizards all missed? Interesting notion.”  
The other men began to laugh and jeer. Mr. Lupin, however, kept his calm until Mr. Jones started to chuckle as well.  
“You! You murdered those girls. And that proves what I already know, even if everyone else is too thick to see it, that you are a werewolf. And as such, you are a soulless, evil beast, deserving of nothing but death.”  
The man by him frowned. “Now really, Lyall-"  
Mr. Jones began to sob noisily. “If that’s what you think — that I killed — then keep me here if you want. I’ll lose my job — but what is another starving family? Nothing to you, I suppose.”  
One of the men reached for his shoulder. “No, Mr. Jones, you’re all right. Mr. Lupin, please leave these proceedings.”  
“I will not!” Mr. Lupin shouted.  
The man spread his arms. “Please! I’m afraid I will have to call security if you do not.”  
“But - murder - NO!” Mr. Lupin lunged at Mr. Jones and then fell stiffly to the ground. Three men picked him up and carried him out. The memory then ended. Lily reached for Remus’ shoulder, but he shrugged off her arm and picked up the next vial.  
Not much time had passed judging from Mr. Lupin’s young face and brown hair. He sat at his desk, filling out a research request. “They’ll see…I’ll make them see,” he kept muttering.  
After a few minutes, high-pitched screams filled the air. Mrs. Lupin appeared in the doorway, looking panicked. “Lyall? I think it’s Remus!”  
“You stay here,” Lyall said as he dashed to a bedroom upstairs.  
Remus lay on the bed, crying, covered in blood, as a wolflike creature lunged at his throat. Mr. Lupin slashed the air several times with his wand, until the wolf stopped moving. His eyes moved until they found Mr. Lupin’s. He then jumped out the window and ran away. Mr. Lupin cleared the blood off of Remus with his wand.  
“Hope!” he called.  
Her face whitened. “Lyall - oh my God, Remus.”  
“Hope, call your cousin, the doctor. What’s his name? Rhys?”  
Mrs. Lupin made her way to the phone. “All right.”  
Mr. Lupin raised his wand, and bandages wrapped themselves around Remus. Mrs. Lupin came back in. “Rhys is on his way. But shouldn’t we call a — a Healer?”  
“No!” shouted Mr. Lupin. “It - it has to be a Muggle. And - be sure he wears gloves.”  
He turned his head to the dresser and looked at the piece of paper on the top. It read:

Lyall,  
Who is deserving of nothing but death now?  
Fenrir Greyback

Clutching the paper, Mr. Lupin sank to the floor.  
The doctor looked up from Remus to his two parents. “Well, these stitches should hold, but I’ll be back tomorrow to see how he’s healing. I left medicine for pain and rabies with instructions downstairs.” He looked at Mr. Lupin. “Lyall, is there anything else I can do?”  
“No, Rhys. Thank you for coming in.”  
Once Rhys had left the room, Mr. Lupin turned to his wife and began to speak in a low voice. “Hope, let’s go downstairs and look at the medicines.”  
“Will he be safe?”  
“Yes. I put up wards around the house. I think we should let him continue to sleep now, and make sure we know how to take care of him when he wakes.”  
Mrs. Lupin nodded and followed her husband to the dining room, where the medicines Rhys had mentioned before sat on the coffee table.  
“Lyall, does Remus have rabies?”  
“No, he does not.” He put an arm around her shoulder. “Hope, that — thing — that attacked Remus, that was a werewolf. You - you know what a werewolf is, right?”  
Mrs. Lupin cast her eyes up. “A man who becomes a wolf each full moon?”  
Mr. Lupin nodded. “Basically, yes.”  
“But their bites-"  
“No, they are not fatal. They are, though, contagious.”  
“Lyall. What are you saying?”  
He wiped his eyes. “That our boy — our boy is a werewolf.”  
Mrs. Lupin sank to the floor. “No. No, he can’t be. Are you sure?”  
Mr. Lupin sat down beside her. “Ssh, yes. Muggles - they react differently. That’s one reason we needed a Muggle doctor. But Remus has shown several signs of magic already. And I saw the werewolf. I’m sorry.”  
Mrs. Lupin did not speak for a full minute. “What was the other reason we needed a Muggle doctor?”  
“Wizards see werewolves as enemies. So we couldn’t let them know. And you can’t tell anyone, or they might take him away from us.”  
Mrs. Lupin stretched a hand to his room above. “His life will be so different now.”  
Mr. Lupin hugged his wife. “His life? Hope, our son is — is gone.”  
Mrs. Lupin grabbed her knees. “No! No!”  
“He’s not human anymore,” Mr. Lupin said. “It will be terrible, all he has to go through, the way we’ll have to keep him secret. Really, it would be kinder to-"  
“To put him out of his misery?” Mrs. Lupin looked at her husband. “No - anything but that! I’ve seen wizards cure the most impossible diseases, not just get rid of anyone who’s sick. And that’s what this is, a disease. So try. Promise me you’ll try.”  
He nodded. “Okay, I’ll try. It won’t work, but I’ll try.”  
“Oh, Lyall….”  
“I know, I know….”  
The two sat crying into each others’ shoulders until a high, clear voice from upstairs called out, “Mum? Dad? Where are you?”  
Mr. Lupin wiped his face and grabbed a bottle of pain pills. “Coming now — we were just getting your medicine.” He trudged up the stairs.  
Remus played in the front garden. A boy came up to him from the street.  
“Hello,” Remus said.  
The boy stuck out his tongue and pointed. “Werewolf, werewolf!” he said.  
Inside the house, Mr. Lupin looked at his wife. “Looks like it’s time to move again.”  
She leaned against the wall. “Are you sure? Wait to speak to the city council.”  
Mr. Lupin shook his head. “If we wait too long, they’ll just set fire to our home again.”  
Mrs. Lupin bent to look at a scrap of paper. “Yes, of course you’re right. Just - we move so much. Did you ever think we would fly around the country like this?”  
“It’s just for now. This next potion will work, and then we’ll never have to move again. I promise.” He pulled out a map. “Now, where should we go next?”  
Remus came in, staring at his feet.  
“Are you all right?” Mrs. Lupin asked. He nodded, shifting from one foot to the other.  
The memory faded, and the study came back into view. Before Remus had a chance to say anything, Lily hugged him. “I didn’t know, Remus,” she said. “I had no clue. I’m so sorry.”  
“Well, I only knew some of it,” he mumbled. “But this - the bite — that was the worst memory of my childhood. And it was his fault. And then - I always thought the world of my parents, thought they were so caring, so supportive. But they weren’t, were they? Only Mum was. And you see — you see what it’s cost her!”  
Lily insisted, “Talk to them about this, Remus. I don’t know why they did what they did — but they do. And they love you, I know.”  
He ran a hand through his hair. “Sure. While causing the worst thing that has ever happened to me — and the root for everything else bad that ever happened since. Just - just how could they keep this from me?”  
“Why did you?” asked Lily.  
He looked up. “What?”  
“That you were bitten so young, that your home burned, that you moved so much. It was because you didn’t want to worry us, and because you didn’t want to revisit such a painful part of your past, right?” He nodded. “I bet it’s the same for your parents.”  
He shook his head. “No, that’s different. They’re my flesh and blood, and what they covered up directly affects my life. Who knows what they’re thinking?”  
“So find out,” Lily said. “I never could find out why my Aunt Eira’s story was kept from me, and I will always wonder. But you don’t have to.”  
“And my father. You know, he always said everything he did was for me, so I would be protected. Then-"  
Lily placed a hand on his shoulder. “So you see? It wasn’t your fault and it never has been. And here you are — a Hogwarts student, a prefect.”  
“But should I be? Or is it like he said, that I should be put down?”  
She felt her face begin to heat up. “Oh, like he said once but never did? Or like your mother, who really saw you?”  
Remus walked to the doorway. “Lily, I need to think a bit. Please excuse me.”  
Lily shook her head. This was not how it was supposed to go! She had thought, really she had, that this Memory incident would be more like hers, that it would have to do with people who were dead, not alive. That they could work it out together. “What have I gotten Remus into?” she asked herself. She looked at the Pensieve. Her classes always described it as so useful. No. Thoughts belong in the head. Otherwise was unnatural, and powerful. Lily tilted her head back and forth. Her thoughts were beginning to go in circles. Some nice homework would straighten them out. She carefully walked out, easing the door closed behind her. Now, which was the most straightforward subject? History of Magic, create a timeline to describe the creation of the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy. Lily pulled out a parchment. Wizards were talking about it in the twelfth century…but it was created, by the Wizenagamot, in the latter part of the seventeenth century, and adopted internationally a few years later. It was never rewritten, even though it should be.  
Remus never came down for lunch, leaving Lily and Mrs. Lupin to discuss weather in Wales, until the Potions homework called Lily back upstairs.  
Remus was on her bed. He smiled sheepishly, and Lily took up his hand. “I ignored you too long, didn’t I?” he asked.  
She shook her head. “You had some thinking to do.”  
He widened his eyes. “Yeah, but I didn’t even do it.”  
Lily tapped his head. “The brain is always working, sometimes more when we think it isn’t. So you’ll talk to your dad?”  
He said, “Well, I can’t make head or tail of the memories myself. It’s just that I don’t want to bother him with it. His words — what if they’re right?”  
Lily exclaimed, “Oh, you know better than that!”  
“I thought I did.” Remus shifted on the bed. “But maybe I was wrong. My mother always taught me that. But what does she know, Lily? All she knows about werewolves is from me. And there are lots, Lily, tons of werewolves who aren’t me. I may not be a criminal; however, most of them are. So is that my true nature? To do evil?”  
“Remus, no!” Lily said. She paused before going on. “There’s a Muggle book called Les miserables. In it, a man steals and commits crimes — but only because he has no food, no money, and no freedom from prison. And I know that’s just a book, but there are hundreds of Muggles like that in Africa, in the Americas, even here in Britain. Do you think being a criminal like that is my true nature?”  
“No, of course not!”  
“There you are, then. There are also many werewolves who are criminal. They have no food or money since they cannot get a job. They are not free to use magic due to wand restriction. The only way out is criminal, and many of them take it. It is nurture, though, not nature, and it is not — is not — you.”  
“So why would my dad say that?”  
“Because the murders made him angry. Look, ask him. I’m sure he can explain.”  
He nodded. “That makes sense. Greyback sure is a monster, werewolf or not. But then why would he say it to my mother, about me?”  
“To protect her, maybe. Or as stress from the attack on his son. Or - I don’t know!” She began again, more seriously. “Last year, you told me to go to Dumbledore, even though I didn’t want to. Remember?”  
He nodded.  
“You said he could give me advice where you couldn’t. You were right. And that’s what I’m telling you. I have some answers, maybe, but not all. Your father will have more; talk to him.”  
Remus tilted his head. “Okay. I might. So, what do we have for Potions?”  
The door slammed as Mr. Lupin walked in. Only a few minutes later, Mrs. Lupin called them all to dinner. Remus swallowed as he sat down across from his father, but he said nothing during the meal. Lily went through it as quickly as possible, excusing herself and almost running to the guest room. From the stairs, she heard Remus say, “Father, I saw the Pensieve.”  
After an hour studying Divination, Lily ventured downstairs to check on everyone. They were all in the living room. Lily tried to creep back upstairs, but Mr. Lupin said, “Lily, could you come here, please?”  
Lily sat down next to Remus. His eyes were red-rimmed, but he smiled and squeezed her hand.  
Mr. Lupin sat down. “I wanted to talk to you about what you saw today.”  
Lily said, “Of course, sir. I’m sorry that Remus and I went into your study without permission.”  
Mr. Lupin nodded. “It’s good that this is out in the open now. However, my son could have asked me, at any time, to view the Pensieve. But it’s good that he knows it now, and it’s good that he had a friend like you to guide him through it. So it’s all right; don’t worry.  
“Now, surely you remember the one salient fact of those memories, that because of my neglect at work and at home, I caused my son irreparable harm.”  
“But your watchfulness saved his life,” Mrs. Lupin added.   
Mr. Lupin held up a hand. “That is something I should not have kept from him, and it is a burden I shall bear for the rest of my life. I hope it does not change your feelings about this family.”  
Lily shook her head violently. “No, sir. Rather, I am touched by your level of care for Remus. It is only through your constant efforts that he is the Hogwarts prefect he is today.”  
He steepled his fingers. “Good. Now, I also wanted to discuss some of the views on lycanthropy I expressed in the memories.”  
Lily nodded, and Remus stiffened next to her. Did he not know what his father was going to say?  
“What I said reflected my lack of knowledge. I didn’t know much about werewolves at the time, and nothing about their daily lives. My views as well as my knowledge have changed considerably since that time.” He leaned forward. “Now, Lily, I do still worry about your personal safety here. There are strict precautions we must take at each transformation. However. Since the bite, up to today, I have been nothing but proud of my son.”  
A misty-eyed Mrs. Lupin put her arms around her husband.  
“Do you understand all of this, Lily?”  
“Yes, sir.” Lily nodded, and then she returned to the guest room, Remus following her.  
“So,” she said, “you talked to your father.”  
He leaned against the wall. “Yeah, I did, and you were right. It made sense, what he said. That his opinions then embarrassed him so much, he couldn’t even stand to remember them, ever.”  
Lily asked, “So you forgive him, then?”  
He nodded. “Yes. I almost don’t think I should, but — he is my father, my family.”  
In a few days, the house celebrated Christmas. Mrs. Lupins’ plentiful cooking and Mr. Lupins’ stories did their best to erase from Lily’s mind the fact that it was her second Christmas away from home, and her first that was neither at home nor at Hogwarts.  
“We are your family, right here,” Mrs. Lupin said. “And thank you, Lily, for bringing us all together like this, and into the truth. It was a true Christmas present.”  
“Well, I have other presents for you, right here.” Lily held out two wrapped boxes. “Thank you so much for letting me stay here.”  
Mrs. Lupin unwrapped a set of albums. “Oh, thank you!” she said.  
“There have been several new Welsh artists in the past few years,” Lily said. “Dafydd Iwan and Tecwyn Ifan are popular singers in Wales these days. I hope you enjoy them.” She handed the other package to Mr. Lupin, who found inside a treatise on magical creatures of Wales. “Thank you,” he said. “Thank you so much,” said Mrs. Lupin. “Now, here is your present.” She handed Lily a large bag. Inside the bag was a new set of robes. “I hope you enjoy these,” said Mrs. Lupin. “We had them sent from wizarding Holyhead. I know you miss spending as much time in Wales as you did before. This should help you remember that wherever you go, your home will always be a part of you.”  
Lily nodded, suddenly misty-eyed. “Yes, thank you, so much.”  
“It has been a good Christmas,” Mr. Lupin said. “And it will be a good year back at school.”

 

[1] Dear, how are you?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

Even though Remus’ world had turned upside down over the Christmas break, life at Hogwarts seemed to go on as it had before. There were many classes, with the same copious amounts of homework, until it was time for Career Advice.  
“Why is Career Advice before the exams and not after?” Lily asked Remus during their studies.   
He closed his book. “Students can’t apply for jobs until after graduation. But the Career Advice is sooner to give students some direction for their sixth and seventh years.”  
Lily pulled out her schedule. “We can drop classes those years?”  
“Yes. Until tnow, we had a schedule of core classes with our extras, to make sure we have a solid foundation. But after fifth year, there are no real core classes. Many of our jobs will request classes like Transfiguration and Charms, so it’s still worth it to take classes like that. But if, for example, your job does not require a knowledge of Potions, you don’t need to take it.”   
“That makes sense,” Lily said. “But why now? I mean, if the OWLs turn out a certain way, you should look for a job where you did the best, right?”  
“After the exams, they figure you’ll be too exhausted to focus. And right before, too stressed.”  
“That seems right. Okay, okay.”  
“Any in particular?”  
Lily sighed. “I’m not sure. I look at everything I can find, I guess, but none of it seems to fit what I want to do.”  
“And what do you want to do?”  
“I want to think.” Lily pushed back her hair. “What about you? What do you want to do?”  
His face fell. “What can I do?”  
“Remus. I’m sure McGonagall will come up with something right for you.” Lily smiled.  
He tried a smile. “Perhaps she will,” he said. He changed the topic. “So, prefect outings tonight?”  
“Right,” she said. “Remus, you worry about everything far more than you need. You’ll be fine, you’ll see.” She patted his shoulder. “And whatever it is, you’ll have me, too.”  
Lily arrived outside McGonagall’s office a few minutes before her appointment. When Sirius left the office, she walked in.   
“Hello, Miss Evans,” McGonagall said.   
“Hello, Professor,” Lily replied.   
“Miss Evans,” McGonagall informed Lily, “the purpose of this meeting, as I’m sure you are aware, is to investigate your career options and to see how your course selections in your sixth and seventh years here can help you accomplish these goals.”   
“Yes, Professor,” Lily said. She tried to come up with a way to answer the question that was coming.   
“So,” McGonagall asked matter-of-factly, “do you have any ideas for your life after graduation from Hogwarts?”   
Lily gathered her thoughts and began to speak. “Yes, I have. I have thought of studying wizards who do not attend Hogwarts, or those who do, but do not graduate. Or memories.”   
McGonagall peered at Lily through her glasses. Lily sighed and continued.   
“I realise all this is a bit disjointed. Please let me try to explain. At school, what I’ve excelled at most is — my studies. There are a few organisations known as ‘think tanks’ in the Muggle world. Is there a job of that sort in the wizarding world?”   
McGonagall cleared her throat, and with a start Lily realised something she had never considered before – McGonagall didn’t know. Or she did, but she wasn’t sure. Not like she’d been arranging Lily’s class schedule, guiding the Gryffindor students, in every Transfiguration class she had ever attended…. Lily looked up and saw McGonagall look at her.   
“Well, Miss Evans,” she said, “there is the Department of Mysteries, which, as the name suggests, conducts research regarding unknown issues of magical interest. The workers in that department are known as Unspeakables. Does this sound like something that would interest you?”   
“Yes, Professor, thank you,” said Lily. “So, how will that affect my courses in sixth and seventh years?”   
“It’s a bit difficult to tell what your work will require,” said McGonagall. “However, we can start with your interest in memories. Occlumency, Legilimency, and Obliviation are all taught in your NEWT-level Defence Against the Dark Arts class, so I would suggest that. I would also recommend Transfiguration, Charms, and Potions. There is a related class, Alchemy, offered sixth and seventh years, that may prove useful. As much of the work in the Department of Mysteries concerns Divination, I would recommend either Divination or Arithmancy.” She added, “My personal recommendation is that you study Arithmancy.   
“You should not continue with all the classes you are taking. NEWT-level classes require significant amounts of time outside class, so you will not have time for as many classes as you do now. Also, even despite your exceptional grades so far, you will want to study more than has been necessary in the past.   
“So, Miss Evans, any questions?”   
“Yes, Professor,” Lily said. She folded her hands. “So, this career as an Unspeakable, is it straight out of school, or is there additional training first?”   
The older witch straightened her glasses and replied. “The Department of Mysteries accepts a Hogwarts education, but they like to conduct their own thorough investigation into your potential in the field, so there is a one-year paid internship programme you will enter first. At the end of the year, your mentor will meet with you regarding your permanent position.”   
“Permanent?” Lily asked.   
McGonagall sighed. “Yes. You can leave sooner if you wish, but the Department pride themselves on the their internship programme to determine compatibility, so their rate of retention is high.   
“Questions?”   
Lily shook her head. “No, Professor. But we will meet again when I choose my classes for sixth year?”   
“Of course,” assured McGonagall. “Well, that concludes our Career Consultation session.”   
“Thank you, Professor,” said Lily as she exited the office.   
On her way back to the Gryffindor common room, Lily met with Anjali, Lupita, and Amelia, all of whom had been through Career Advice already, discussing their prospective employment.   
“Lily!” Lupita called out as she caught sight of her friend. “How did it go?”   
Lily smiled back. “Well, thanks. I am supposed to be an Unspeakable. What about you?”   
“I am to work in the Ministry,” said Lupita. She winked and added, “But I didn’t tell McGonagall it’ll be in Spain.”   
“I’m to be a Gringotts worker,” Anjali said.   
“And I’ll be in the Ministry,” Amelia concluded.   
“Well!” Anjali gasped. “Four of us, and I’m the only one not working in the Ministry! How about that?”   
Lupita elbowed her. “I will have you remember that I will be in Spain, not here,” she pronounced mock-officiously.   
Anjali shrugged. “True enough,” she admitted. “But still — government work is government work, right?”   
“I suppose it is,” Lily answered. “And that is a lot of power for one place, or even two. But Britain and Spain will run all the better with our help, right?”   
“Of course,” said Amelia. “And there we will all — or almost all — be, helping the world together.”   
Lupita checked her watch. “Well, if I want to do my part in helping the world, I need to go research before the library closes.”   
With that, the group broke up, and Lily returned to the common room and the dormitory.  
What she wanted, she reminded herself, was to talk with Severus about his Career Advice with Slughorn. This year he had fallen more closely into the group with Mulciber and Avery, even helping in their misdeeds. All he needed was a hand to pull him aside, and he could be the wise, good Severus he was before, the one who told her it didn’t matter if she was Muggle-born or not. But that was the trouble with Severus – no one seemed to like him. No one but her. He was good to her, as good as she was to him. So why couldn’t anyone else see his goodness? After Hogwarts, when he put his magic and education to good use, it would be obvious to everyone. She would just talk to him now.   
Lily got up and headed to the Astronomy Tower. Due to the enmity of their houses, it was much easier for them to meet there than in their common rooms. And since she had been one of the last called for Career Advice, maybe he was there already, musing over the day’s events. She climbed the last set of steps and saw that, sure enough, he was there, gazing into the darkening sky. Lily sat down next to him.   
“Hi, Sev,” she said. “So, have you seen Slughorn yet?”   
“You mean for the Career Advice?” he asked. “Yes, I have. He said I should be a Potions Master.”   
“That’s great, Sev!” Lily gasped. “You and I have read the papers — there’s some really interesting potions research going on just now! And you’d be great at it, so great. And it’s something you’d like, right?”   
“Lily,” Severus asked, “does it matter?”   
“Oh Sev, of course it matters!” Lily exclaimed. “You can do nothing wholeheartedly without — well, without your heart. And if you can’t do something wholeheartedly, what is the point of even doing it?”   
Severus’ face broke into a wide smile. “Yes,” he said. “Yes, I would like that. It will be wonderful, making new potions for every need. Just promise me one thing.”   
“Anything, Sev,” Lily said.   
“Okay,” said Severus. “When I create my first potion on the job, you must review it for me, so I know if it’s any good.”   
“I’m sure you won’t need the help,” Lily grinned, "but I’ll be there, sure.”   
Severus lay back. “This could be great, us still together,” he said to the ceiling. “Anyway, Lily, you must’ve gone to your Career Advice too, with McGonagall. So how was it?”   
Lily sighed. She would have to mention Mulciber and Avery later. “I told McGonagall I wanted to keep studying and doing research,” she offered. “So she told me I could be an Unspeakable.”   
Severus sat up so quickly that Lily worried for a moment that he might fall off the edge. “Unspeakable, Lily? Are you sure?”   
“I guess,” Lily shrugged. “Why? Is that a problem?”   
“Well, no,” Severus answered. “It’s just my mum isn’t really much for the Ministry. They do some really questionable things, things you — would never do.”   
Lily pursed her lips. “Then I will work to change it from the inside. Don’t worry, Sev, I know what your mother has suffered from the Ministry. But this is my chance to make sure it never happens again. And speaking of creepy and questionable acts, now is your chance to leave them behind too. Perhaps now you can stop spending so much time with Mulciber and his gang, since they will have no part in your future.”   
Severus paused for a moment. “You’re right, Lily,” he replied. “What I see is us working together, as we always have. Mulciber and Avery are nowhere. So I can leave them behind. I know the things they’ve done are a bit…off, and I don’t want them to ruin my future.”   
“Sev, that really means a lot,” Lily said. “I’ve been really worried about you mixing with them. But now, to let them go — you’ll be all right, Sev, you will.”   
“Yes, Lily,” Severus replied. “As long as you are my friend, I will be.”   
The moment between them grew slightly too tense, and Lily hastily changed the subject.   
“So, Sev,” she asked, “have you seen Flitwick’s new haircut?”   
They sat in the Astronomy Tower, deep in conversation, until a glance Lily’s watch reminded them that time waited for no man. Lily and Severus returned to their common rooms before lights out.   
Lily looked around the common room for Remus, but then she remembered it was the last night of the full moon and climbed the stairs to the dormitory.   
The next evening, Lily and Remus went on their prefect rounds together. As they walked on the top floor of the castle, Remus turned to Lily and asked, “So, have you had your Career Advice with McGonagall?”   
Lily wondered whether Remus would like her result more than the others so far. Finally she offered, “Yes, yesterday afternoon. McGonagall suggested I look to being an Unspeakable. What about you?”   
Remus twitched, but he only said, “She said a few years after graduation, I could apply for a professorship.”   
“That would be great!” Lily said. She stopped, though, as she noticed Remus’ troubled expression. “Remus, what’s wrong?”   
He sighed and looked around to be sure the hallway was empty. “Lily, what chance do I have of any career at all?”   
Lily looked up, confused. “But what would keep you from having a job? You have your particular situation, but I was fine with it, and so were your other friends. And if you don’t want to talk about it, you can just keep it under wraps like you do here, it shouldn’t keep you from a job. Maybe the world isn’t as bad as you think it is.”   
“You always see the best in everyone, Lily,” Remus said, “and would that it were just like that. But it’s not. Remember when we studied werewolves in Defence? Trust me, there are plenty of people who would be mad and scared if I told them. And that’s not even the main issue here. There are laws about it. When I got the bite, a few of the villagers noticed, so I had to register with the government. And it’s nigh to impossible for me to find a decent job because of it. Because of the threat of going to Azkaban. Because the world is still against people like me.”   
He bowed his head, but Lily lifted it back up. “Most of society may not be smart enough to accept you yet, but you are not alone against them. Your friends are with you, and from what McGonagall said, so are the Hogwarts professors. And you could be a professor, you really could.”   
“Lily-" Remus protested, but she looked at him until he stopped.   
“No, Remus. Yes, I know what you said about the legalities of it. But Hogwarts is a special place. Who has a post here is decided by Dumbledore, not by the government. Plus, you’d be great for teaching Defence – you’re the best in our year. And you’re so kind, any student here would be lucky to have you.”   
“Thanks, Lily,” Remus said. “I hope you’re right; that would be nice. But professors aren’t hired right out of school; they have another job for a few years first. So how would I get through my first few years out of Hogwarts?”   
“Hm,” Lily mused. “That’s a tricky one, it is. But–hey, we’ll figure it out together. After all, we have two more whole years.” She paused. “What with Lord Voldemort growing in power, I may well be in a jam of my own then.”   
Remus turned away from Lily and said to the wall, “But it’s different. You are a Muggle-born witch, with some difficulties, yes, but you are still a witch. Who can contribute to society. Who is recognised by her government.” Lily nodded. “That’s the point of education, to prepare us for the adult world, for careers. And if I can’t do that, what was even the point of going to Hogwarts? Why did Dumbledore work so hard to get me in?”   
Lily turned Remus back to face her. “First of all,” she began, "I trust you remember my Aunt Eira, and realise there are other reasons to attend. But also, you came to meet other wizards. You made some good friends, and none of us would have survived without you. You came to learn, and you’ve enjoyed and excelled at all your classes. You came to contribute to society, and you added tolerance and a sense of fair-mindedness by telling your friends your secret. And yes, you came for your future, so that you can teach what you’ve learned. You would make a great professor; promise me that when the time comes, you’ll at least consider it.”   
Seeing Remus’ face still drawn, Lily said softly, “ It’s true this is a terrible dilemma, and I’m sorry you have to face it. But don’t forget that there is good along with bad everywhere, and remember that you are never alone.”   
They hugged, and Remus pulled back and held Lily at arm’s length.   
“So,” he said, “an Unspeakable, huh?”   
Lily shrugged. “Sev wasn’t that into it either.”   
“Oh, no, it’s not that,” Remus protested. “I’m sure you’d be as great at it as you think I would be at teaching. I have one question for you.”   
“Yes?” asked Lily.   
“Well,” Remus said, “you talked a moment ago about your Aunt Eira. You remember, I’m sure, that the team who took your family’s memories were Unspeakables. You are okay with that?”   
Lily wrinkled her nose and squinted. “It’s not my favourite thing, but Remus, I think I’d really like to study there.”   
Remus nodded. “That makes sense. A lot, actually.”   
“There’s an internship before the job,” Lily added, “so I’ll try that first. And it might get me closer to my family’s memories.”   
Remus smiled at her. “Well, you’ll never be bored.”   
After a few minutes, Lily looked around. There was not even a ghost in the hallway. “Remus,” she said, “it looks like there’s no one here. Maybe we should move on?”   
He looked a bit taken aback by her abrupt change of topic, but he nodded, and they moved on unhindered, until they returned to the common room. The common room was empty when they got to it, so they turned to go to their dorms. Before they climbed the stairs, however, Lily grabbed Remus’ wrist and pulled him into an embrace. They shared a hug for a few moments, and then Lily turned to start up the staircase, her heart beating uncommonly quickly.   
As soon as she reached the group of beds and sleeping occupants, Lily lay on her bed and closed her eyes. Sleep, though, refused to come, yielding way to a steady stream of thoughts.   
She had always had a close friendship with Remus, and it was far from uncommon for them to embrace as they had. When Lily learned of Remus’ discomfort with touches, she had resolved that by holding him close. But today…there had been something different today. What was it?   
As the next few weeks passed, Lily saw that Severus had not (never planned to have?) left Mulciber’s group. She saw them together during meals, classes, and even study sessions, in which, Lily guessed, Severus was the one who coached the others for their passing scores. One day, though, Mulciber threatened and almost attacked Mary Macdonald outside the History of Magic classroom. As Anjali and Amelia soothed a distraught Mary, Lily realised that there was one thing she could do to help. She could talk to Severus about Mulciber again. And that was just what she did, after Potions class the next day.   
As soon as the lesson was over, Lily led Severus out of the room. He turned to face her, almost as if he already knew what their conversation would be about. “Hi, Lily,” he said. “How are you?”   
Lily said, “I’m doing well enough. But some of my friends have been a little under the weather lately. What about you?”   
“I’m fine, thanks,” Severus said. He paused, though, when he saw the frown on Lily’s face. “Lily, what’s wrong?”   
“It’s Avery and Mulciber, Sev,” Lily said. “You told me you would stop spending time with them, but you still are, and I’m worried about you.”   
Severus protested, “Yes, I know I said that to you, and I’ll do it. But not now.”   
Lily frowned. “Why?”   
“Well, that group has made it so much easier for me in Slytherin,” Severus explained. “It would be really hard to leave them and stay in the same house.”   
Severus’ whiny tone began to get on Lily’s nerves. “Sev, whether it’s hard or not, you need to get rid of them now.”   
Severus squinted. “Are you mad at me, Lily?” He paused, but Lily refused to answer. He spoke up again. “I just thought we were supposed to be friends? Best friends?”   
Lily fought the urge to roll her eyes as she repeated herself for the hundredth time. “We are, Sev, but I don’t like some of the people you’re hanging round with! I’m sorry, but I detest Avery and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he’s creepy! D’you know what he tried to do to Mary Macdonald the other day?”   
Lily leaned against a pillar in the courtyard they were circling, wondering just how much plainer she could make herself.   
“That was nothing,” said Severus. “It was a laugh, that’s all-"   
Lily actually rolled her eyes this time. “It was Dark Magic, and if you think that’s funny-"   
“What about the stuff Potter and his mates get up to?” asked Severus, trying to change the subject, Lily supposed.   
Lily tilted her head. “What’s Potter got to do with anything?”   
“They sneak out at night,” Severus said. Lily turned to face him. Surely he wouldn’t go there. Surely not…. “There’s something weird about that Lupin. Where does he keep going?”   
Lily felt her face begin to heat up. “He’s ill. They say he’s ill-"   
“Every month at the full moon?” said Severus.   
Good, we’re back here again, Lily thought. She said flatly, “I know your theory.” She asked, “Why are you so obsessed with them anyway? Why do you care what they’re doing at night?”   
“I’m just trying to show you they’re not as wonderful as everyone seems to think they are,” Severus said, and he looked at Lily so intently that she blushed. Did he already know how she felt about Remus? Did he, though?   
“They don’t use Dark Magic, though,” she said, getting back to the point. She looked around the courtyard and lowered her voice. “And you’re being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Willow, and James Potter saved you from whatever’s down there-"   
“Saved? Saved?” Severus burst out, his face twisting out of shape. “You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends’ too! You’re not going to – I won’t let you-"   
“Let me? Let me?” Lily’s eyes narrowed. Dimly, she saw Severus as he finally realised what he had just said.   
“I didn’t mean – I just don’t want to see you made a fool of — he fancies you, James Potter fancies you!” Lily sighed and raised her eyebrows. Anyone at Hogwarts knew that James Potter fancied her. “And he’s not…everyone thinks…big Quidditch hero-" Severus babbled on for a few moments, while Lily went from patient, to exasperated, to disgusted. Finally, she could hold her silence no longer.   
“I know James Potter’s an arrogant toerag,” she said. “I don’t need you to tell me that. But,” returning to her original, her only point, “Mulciber’s and Avery’s idea of humour is just evil. Evil, Sev. I don’t understand how you can be friends with them.”   
[1] They walked to one of the trees by the lake. Severus, with an extra bounce in his step, looked uncommonly happy. Lily wondered whether he had actually heard her words of reproof. How much more obvious could she make it?   
As they sat under the tree, Severus pointed to a nearby figure, watching as he rumpled his hair and talked excitedly to his friends. “See?” Severus said. “He is still completely ridiculous!”   
Lily looked at the group, and Severus followed her gaze to the boy sitting against the tree, his nose buried in a book. “Sev,” she said, “I’ll just say this once. For all Potter may fancy me, I do not in the slightest care for him.”   
Severus opened his mouth to say something, but then he thought better of it. He paused and then looked over, almost wistfully. “Lupin?” he asked.   
Lily sighed. “Yes,” she said. Her voice turned cold again. “Sev, I know your idea, I do. But the darkest thing about Remus is, I’m sure, his friendship with Potter.” She paused then asked, in a brighter tone, “And as far as dangerous people go, what about Avery and Mulciber, then?”   
Severus blinked, and Lily felt a surge of elation — she would finally get an answer.   
“Avery and Mulciber,” he said, “and their group, depend on my help studying for NEWTs, OWLs, and end-of-the-year exams. They will doubtless turn nasty if such help is refused. And I know-" he added as Lily opened her mouth "-I can withstand it all easily enough. But after the OWLs? It’s just that we all have a lot of studying to do.”   
Lily felt all of her annoyance leave her. “That sounds good, Sev,” she replied eagerly. “And all they’ll have time for is studies, right?”   
“I’ll do my best,” Severus promised.   
“Good,” Lily said. She looked around. “I want to check on Mary before we go to dinner. But I’ll see you for our studies tomorrow?”   
“Of course!” Severus said. Lily smiled and shook back her hair as she stood. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw with satisfaction that the boy next to James Potter looked up to watch her go.   
Lily found Mary in a chair in the dormitory, with her other dorm-mates standing around her. Amelia and Anjali crowded around Mary, while Lupita stepped forward.   
“I did it,” Lily told Lupita. “I talked to Severus like I said I would.”   
“Good,” Lupita said.   
Lily looked at Mary’s trembling form and asked Lupita, “So, how is she?”   
Lupita grimaced and walked with Lily out of the dormitory. Once she was out of earshot of the others, Lupita said, “I don’t know, Lily. Mary seems even worse than she was yesterday. Mulciber – I don’t know what curse he used, but he’s bad news for sure.” She added, “His friends aren’t any better, either. Like that Severus Snape. I know you talked to him, and that’s good, but why are you even his friend?”   
“I told you, Lupita,” Lily said, slightly disgruntled. “We help each other. So he needs my help now. He’s helped me so much, it’s the least I could do.”   
“I just worry about you, is all,” Lupita said seriously. “You’re a Muggle-born, Lily, same as Mary. And that — that makes you a target to your friend’s new group. Lily, you can’t get mixed up with Mulciber and his ilk. There is no way that could end well.”   
“Right,” Lily said tersely. “I think I’ll go eat.” Remembering Mary upstairs, she added, a trifle reluctantly, “Should I bring back something?”   
Lupita tilted her head. “Yeah, that might be nice, Lily, thanks. I’m going back to check on Mary. Have a good dinner!”   
Lily nodded.   
“And about Severus,” Lupita added, “just be careful.”   
Lily turned and walked out the portrait hole. In the Great Hall, she began piling food on her plate in such haste that Remus walked over, concern and consternation showing on his face.   
“Hello, Lily,” he said. “So, hungry?”   
Lily shook her head rapidly. “No. Mary, she’s worse today. She can’t come down to eat, so I’m bringing her the food here.”   
Remus sat down beside her. “That’s nice of you.”   
“Yeah,” Lily sighed.   
“Well,” he said, “it won’t be easy to carry all that out of here. I’ll show you!” He grabbed Lily’s hand and dragged her down the hallway to a picture of a basket of fruit. He tickled the pear and pushed Lily into what she could only assume were the kitchens, where the house-elves were working at dinner.   
Lily looked around. “Remus, what is this?” she asked. She narrowed her eyes. “We’re not supposed to be here, are we?”   
A house-elf came up to them and squeaked, “Would sir and miss like food? Drink?”   
“Yes, some sandwiches, please,” Remus said, and the elf scurried away. Remus turned to Lily and added, “These are the kitchens. James and Sirius found them-"   
“Remus!” Lily interjected.   
“Yes?”   
“We are prefects! Dumbledore trusts us to obey and enforce the rules, so how can we be in a place like this? How can you even be friends with such disgraceful, disrespectful lawbreakers?”   
Remus looked away. “I don’t know, Lily,” he said. “Why are you friends with Severus?”   
“You know why,” Lily said tiredly. The elf returned, carrying a huge bag filled with enough sandwiches to feed a small army. “Thank you,” Lily said, and she almost ran out the door to the Gryffindor common room. She then found Lupita, put the bag on the sofa next to her, and almost ran into Remus in her haste to leave.   
“Lily?” Remus asked. “Did you have a fight with Lupita?”   
Lily turned to look at him. He seemed slightly alarmed by her expression. “Why are you following me?” she asked.   
“What else would I have done?” he queried. Lily said nothing. He asked again, “So, you had a fight with Lupita?”   
Lily looked up at him, and he nodded. Trying her best to escape the tiredness her anger had become, she added, “She was wondering the same thing as you.”   
“Why you’re friends with Severus?” Remus asked her gently. Lily dropped her head and nodded faintly. Remus, though, lifted her head back up. “It’s all right, Lily. I know why you’re his friend. Just like you know why I’m friends with the Marauders.”   
Lily picked up her head and tried a smile. “They do things I don’t like,” she said, searching Remus’ face for a reaction, “things I think are mean. But they are good to you. They are smart enough to see the wonderful, brave person with me right now. So while I may not like them, they have earned my respect, and I understand why they have earned your loyalty.”   
Remus nodded. “And I see you, Lily,” he said. “I know what you have done for Severus and what he has done for you. Or,” he frowned, “why do you think I never hex him?”   
Lily looked up and raised her eyebrows. “Not because bullying is wrong?”   
Remus looked at her quickly. “What I mean, Lily, is that no one is entirely good or entirely bad.” He grinned and added, “Not all your friends can be as awesome as me, as Sirius would say, but-" He looked at Lily’s glare. “What?”   
“You may have forgiven Sirius Black,” she said, “but I have not. I can never forget what he did to Severus and to you, Remus.”   
Remus’ expression softened. “You are a true friend, Lily. Better than he deserves.” He paused and added, “Better than any of us deserves, really.”   
Lily swallowed and responded, “No, Remus, if anyone deserves the greatest loyalty ever, it’s you.” She frowned as Lupita’s face swam again before her mind, adding, “That Lupita, though — can you believe her?”   
Remus shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.” His forehead creased as he added, “She has a point, though. She just worries about you; we all do.”   
“Right,” Lily said. “So you think I shouldn’t be friends with Sev? I mean, what about you and your friends, staying on their side however undisciplined they are?”   
“Yeah, Lily,” Remus mumbled, and she felt a sudden twinge of guilt.   
“I’m sorry, Remus,” Lily said. “I know, I shouldn’t drag you into this. Lately, Anjali and Mary with their glares, and Lupita’s cautionary tale, and now yours too, have made me a bit tired and edgy. Which is never a good combination.”   
She looked at Remus and found, behind his look of concern, a glimmer of something else. But when she turned back to look at it again, it was gone. “Okay,” he was saying. “We both have friends with behaviour that we dislike. But that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. You talked to Severus, so I’ll talk to James, Sirius, and Peter. And if Mary or Anjali tries to give you a hard time about it, I will help you.”   
Lily nodded. “That sounds good. Thank you, Remus.”   
They stood close together for one long moment. Then the moment stretched out, and Lily turned back to the portrait. “Well,” she said, “I guess, now that I’m feeling up to it, I should really go check in with Lupita.”   
Remus nodded but didn’t move. As Lily entered the common room with a muttered “Hippogriff,” she noticed that there was no one behind her.   
“Lily?” Lupita asked. “Are you looking for someone?”   
Lily turned her head back so quickly she strained her neck. “Of course not!” she protested, rubbing her neck. “Anyway, how is Mary?”   
Lupita told her, “Better. They’re taking her to walk a bit.” She smiled. “So. Looking for Remus, are we?”   
Lily crossed her arms. “No….”   
“You do!” Lupita exclaimed. “I knew it!”   
Lily rolled her eyes and turned back to begin climbing the stairs. “Good night, Lupita,” she said.   
“But – Lily!”   
“Good night.”   
The next day, Lily walked out to the Quidditch pitch just before the sun set to meet Mudhi and Lupita for OWLs study after Mudhi’s training. Mudhi changed quickly, and the three walked to the library together. Lupita smiled and raised her eyebrows as they sat at the table just a few feet to the right of the one where James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter were trying to study. Mudhi pulled out a scrap of parchment and wrote, “At last, really?” But Lupita shook her head and pointed to Remus. Lily tried to lower Lupita’s finger as quickly as she could, but Sirius noticed and nudged James with a smirk.   
“Here we go,” Lily whispered as James sauntered over.   
“So Evans,” James asked, “what are you doing, pointing at us?” He leaned in and asked, “Got a crush on someone?”   
Lily gulped. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Lupita’s and Mudhi’s smirks had widened and Peter was watching intently. “No,” Lily stammered, “it’s just that-" she looked wildly about, finally settling on Remus’ book, Potion-making techniques in the twentieth century. “We have OWLs to study for,” she repeated more calmly. “Lupita wanted to start with Potions, and she thought Remus’ book might help.”   
Remus snapped the book shut and traded places with James. “Here, Lily,” he said.   
Lily flinched at the sound. It had seemed that Remus was too engrossed in the book to follow the conversation, definitely much too interested to part with it. “No!” she said. “I don’t want to hinder your studies.”   
“I should be on Transfiguration by now, anyway,” Remus said. “This is a helpful book, though. Not that it would have anything you don’t know.”   
“Actually, I need it as much as anyone else. I’m good at Potions – or at least I hope I am, but I know what works in each potion by instinct, not by all the laws I’ll need for the written exam. So thank you, Remus.”   
She smiled and sat down with the book, waving aside the winks and sniggers of Mudhi and Lupita and admonished, “We have OWLs to study for.”   
Lily opened the book and said, “I think we should start here.” But she was almost immediately distracted as James whispered something to Remus, and Remus laughed as he answered.   
“So, what is it we’re to be learning, then?” Mudhi asked pointedly.   
Lily shook her head. “We have OWLs to study for,” she repeated to herself. “Okay…moonstones,” she said in a louder voice.   
Lily managed (with the continued help of Mudhi and Lupita) to concentrate, more or less, for the rest of the hour. But as they left, Lily couldn’t help but notice that Remus was still in the same section of his Transfiguration book as when he began it, almost an hour before. Noticing Lily’s lingering gaze, Mudhi pulled her out of the library to meet Lupita. Outside the doors, Mudhi pointed to Lily’s reddening cheeks.   
“Oh, you’ve got it bad!” she said in a singsong voice.   
“I told you so,” added Lupita.   
Lily gave a half-smile. “Yeah, I’m in trouble, I really am,” she agreed.   
“Barney,” Mudhi intoned.   
Lily laughed. “Yes, you’re right, you are.” She sighed. “What with these OWLs, my career, my friendship with Sev… I have a million things to focus on, and I was always so good with concentration on the important stuff — so why this? Why now? What does it all mean?”   
Mudhi smiled and hugged Lily. “That you’re a sixteen-year-old girl.”   
“Oh, that,” Lily mumbled.   
“Welcome to the club,” said Lupita, and the three girls laughed and walked to the Ravenclaw common room. 

 

[1] The dialogue in this section is taken from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pages 673 and 674.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this story is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

Unfortunately, the homework for each class only became more extensive as the OWLs approached, leaving perilously little time to study for the tests themselves. The Marauders’ pranks, supposedly to let off steam in these stressful times, provoked hysterics when Charles Goldman’s book-bag disappeared.  
Lily rolled her eyes at Remus on their prefect rounds that night. “This wasn’t your idea, was it?”  
He gasped in mock outrage. “Why Lily, how could you even think that?”  
Lily ticked off her fingers. “Because he was acting all full of himself. Because he was pushing you to study more. And I may seem sheltered, but rest assured that I do not buy for a minute the notion that you have never come up with a prank idea.”  
“Yes, that is — all true.” Remus smirked. “Not so full of himself now, is he?”  
“Well, Remus, Mudhi will make you find it, deserved or not.” Lily shook her head. “That was hardly your best prank ever.”  
“So there are pranks we do that are good?” he asked.  
“Maybe sometimes.” Lily turned to join Mudhi, who added, “Of course, Remus, I approve of everything you do.”  
Lily whacked Mudhi on the head, as Remus looked up and said, “That’s good to know, Mudhi.”  
“Oh, but it’s not-"  
“Maybe the bit with Goldman won’t be too bad, then.”   
Lily pulled Mudhi aside. “Mudhi - you can’t tell him!” she hissed. “Why would you?”  
“Because everyone who knows you knows it. I just thought he should too.”  
“But you don’t think — does Potter know?”  
Mudhi laughed. “Since Remus isn’t a bloody pulp yet, I think it’s safe to say that he might even beat out Remus as the most clueless at Hogwarts.”  
“Okay. Want to study Astronomy?”  
“Well, I mean, we could stand here and watch Remus walk away some more.” Mudhi grinned. “I mean, how it is not instantly obvious to anyone who watches you — you seek him out every fifteen minutes!”  
“Well, he won’t be at the library.”  
“Of course not, since he never takes an interest in studying there.” Mudhi hoisted her bag. “Okay, but just a little while. I have practise in a half hour.”  
“Right,” Lily said as they walked together to their table.  
“Look who else wants to study,” Mudhi said. “This obsession of yours may not be as one-sided as we thought.” She looked at Remus and called out, “All right there? Need some studying with Lily?” She glared at Madam Pince, but was still shushed.  
Remus turned bright red. He protested, “Now, Mudhi, it’s not….”  
“Right.” Lily sighed. The quiet study time would not be quite so quiet after all.

The painful segment of OWL studying, after having driven 60% of the students insane, 30% into detention, and 40% to the hospital wing, gave way to one exam after another. The last day of OWLs had the Defence Against the Dark Arts written exam. Afterwards, Lily looked around to see what Remus had thought of the werewolf questions, but decided to leave him talking with James, Sirius, and Peter. All too soon, though, she saw them talking and laughing with — was that Severus? A flash of light lifted him over her head. Yes, it was. That could only make this all worse, not better. Where did Potter and Black get their ideas of self-righteousness, anyway? She would have to — stop it before it got too bad. She walked over.   
“Leave him ALONE!”  
Potter looked over, and became — more pleasant? As though he was not torturing her friend? “All right, Evans?”  
Well, how did he think she was? “Leave him alone. What’s he done to you?”  
James paused. “Well,” he said slowly, “it’s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean….”  
Lily rolled her eyes. Then she looked over to the tree trunk. Remus sat there, reading, pretending not to notice what was going on, but she could’ve sworn she heard him sigh.  
“You think you’re funny,” she said. And it seemed everyone else — but her and Remus - did too. “But you’re just an arrogant, bullying toerag, Potter. Leave him alone.”  
“I will if you go out with me, Evans,” Potter said. Lily raised her eyebrows. Whatever had happened to trying to seem more mature? “Go on… Go out with me, and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.”  
Right, because that did not sound like extortion. “I wouldn’t go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid.”  
Severus started to twitch. He finally got a spell in, and — he hurt James. Lily frowned. Of course James’ relentless bullying of Severus was completely unfair, but who would cause physical harm to a classmate? Mulciber would.  
James seemed to give as good as he got, though. In just a second, Severus spun around, dangling from his ankles. Lily stifled a smile at this somewhat fairer turn of events and said, “Let him down.”  
“Certainly,” said James. He let Severus fall in an unceremonious heap. Lily moved toward him as he stood, holding his wand out. Sirius got there before her, though, and body-locked him.  
Lily became angry again. Who were they, to keep doing that? She took out her own wand. “LEAVE HIM ALONE!”  
“Ah, Evans, don’t make me hex you,” James said.   
Lily rolled her eyes. “Take the curse off him, then!”  
James sighed and did so. At least her words had worked then. “There you go,” James said. “You’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus-"  
“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”  
Lily blinked. Had he really said that to her? Sev - her Sev - who told her it didn’t matter if she was Muggle-born or not? Maybe she was making things up. Ever since that first train ride — or could there be something wrong with her ears? Or - well, was it possible? Did the worst thing she imagined actually happen? She swallowed. “Fine. I won’t bother in future. And I’d wash your pants if I were you, Snivellus.”  
James began to yell. “Apologise to Evans!”  
“I don’t want you to make him apologise,” Lily said strongly, to avoid seeming too sad. “You’re as bad as he is….”  
James screwed up his face. “What? I’d never call you a — a you-know-what!”  
Lily had to shout to keep from crying now. “Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you’ve just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can - I’m surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me sick.”  
[1] Lily walked back to the castle and sat down against the wall, her head in her hands. She had done what she always despised — she hurt him because she was hurting — in a way that she never should. But - Mudblood. It wasn’t the first time Lily had heard the word, for sure, or even the first time she had around Sev. Sev had grown up around that prejudice, and he had marinated in it here, with his — friends. But she had ignored that. Because where some saw a prejudiced, unpleasant person, she saw her first true friend, someone who know her even before she knew herself. So she ignored the conflict brewing. She tried to convince herself it didn’t matter.  
At some point, Remus sat down next to her. “Are you all right?” he asked.  
Lily shook her head, then paused. “Are you?”  
“Why?” he asked.  
Lily shrugged. “You looked uncomfortable. Like you were trying to pretend you weren’t there.”  
“Well, Severus may not be my best friend, but he is one, and he has been a friend to you. As such, I avoid attacking him. I didn’t stop James and Sirius, though. I apologise for my cowardly inaction.”  
“It wasn’t. You came to see me.” Lily shook her head. “Sev never did.”  
“He might not be able to. They were still fighting when I left. I can go back and check.”  
“No, that’s all right.” Lily scowled. “I don’t care what happens to him.”  
“Yes, you do, Lily.”  
“But how could he say that? Why would he hurt me?”  
“This wasn’t to hurt you, Lily. Under pressure, people can say almost anything.” He sighed. “But it is generally true that people in those conditions do not say what is not in their mind.”  
“Right. It was always in his mind….” Lily began to cry again. She looked up at Remus. “I just — “ She shook her head. She cried until it felt that this feeling would never end.  
Remus began to pat her back. “It’s all right. You’re all right. It’s all right.”

“What was it?” Remus asked when Lily came back in.  
“Sev …erus. He wouldn’t leave the hallway. So I had to talk to him.” She sat down. “It’s over now. The oldest friendship I had — is over.” She looked at Remus. “You are now my best friend.”  
“And I wear that as a badge of honour,” Remus said. “Even more so than the prefecture. And I swear, I will never let you down, never hurt you.”  
“Why not? Isn’t that what friends do?”  
Remus looked straight at her. “Because you have never let me down, Lily. Not once. Not ever.”  
“But - I told you to trust Sirius. And see how that ended!” Lily began to cry. “And Severus hates me, and Petunia does too, and — everything is falling apart, isn’t it?”  
“Cariad, it’s not over yet.”  
They sat together, until Lily woke up. There was a blanket on her, and Remus sat next to her. Lily closed her eyes again before he knew she saw how he was watching her.  
Lily half-expected to be accosted at each meal, at all of her classes, whenever she went to the library, but there was nothing. Severus seemed finally to have realised that she needed at least a little time before he contacted her again.  
A banner unfurled as Lily walked into the Common Room. The banner read, “Welcome, Friends of Lily Evans!”  
“Was this your idea?” Lily asked Remus.  
“No,” said Lupita, “it was mine. Remember, Lily? That you have many friends, and Remus is a good one but he is just one. Look, here are all the people who know you and value the fine witch you’ve become.”  
The common room was filled. Lily even saw Mudhi there. “Yes,” added Lupita, “McGonagall suspended the rules for now, so that all your friends everywhere could come. And see, the professors who are your friends are there too — which, since you follow every rule known to man, is all of them.”  
None of the professors could stay long, but Lily thanked them all for coming. “Lupita! How did you do all this?”  
“Oh, I have my ways.” Lupita said, winking at Starhi.  
“This is great!”  
But the next morning, life was just as horrible as it had been days before. Lily opened her door and made her way to the great hall. She sat down next to Remus, who asked, “What is it?”  
Lily sighed. “You know that feeling when you walk into a room and everyone is trying to tell you the same thing? Well, that.”  
“They’re right, you know they are.” Lupita joined the conversation.   
“So Gryffindors can’t be friends with Slytherins?”  
“I didn’t say that. You know Robert, sixth-year prefect?” Lupita lowered her eyes. “I would be friends with him any day.”  
“Lupita!”  
She buried her face in the table. “Yes, well. But you couldn’t be friends with him, is what I’m trying to say. His house isn’t even one of the main reasons.”  
“Yeah, I guess you have a point. But that doesn’t make it hurt less.” Lily brushed her hair out of her eyes. “At least the year is almost over.”  
Mudhi walked over as Lupita said, “It is. After Slughorn’s party, it will be.”  
Lily gasped. “Slug club! I forgot all about that! And I always used to go with Sev-erus.”  
Mudhi smiled. “I think someone else would be more than willing to go with you.”  
Lily frowned. “I am not, ever, going anywhere with Potter.”  
Mudhi shook her head. “Not him. Actually, I haven’t seen him around too much lately. No, someone else. Someone who hasn’t left your side the past few days.”  
Lily looked up. “Really? You think I should ask him?”  
“Well, yeah. That’s what you want to do, right?” Mudhi raised her voice. “Remus!”  
He walked over. “Yes?”  
“Oh, Lily was wondering-" Lily tapped Mudhi on the shoulder, and added, “Slughorn’s holding a party at the end of the year in a few days. I was wondering if you’d like to go with me.”  
“Sure,” he said at once, Mudhi and Lupita snickering into their hands. “Yeah, Lily, it’ll be nice to see one of those parties. When is it?”  
“Tuesday evening,” Lily said.  
Remus nodded. As James, Sirius, and Peter left the hall, he walked up to rejoin them.   
Lupita turned to Lily and Mudhi. “Did you see that?” she asked.  
“I sure did!” Mudhi said.  
“See what?”  
“He likes you!” Mudhi told her.   
Lily smiled and shook her head. “No, he just wants to be a good friend.”  
“I’m sure he does,” Mudhi said. “But nothing brings out these feelings like being all gallant.” She paused. “Also, he hasn’t been talking to you about James at all, right?”  
Lily frowned. “Well, no. But he doesn’t usually. He knows I don’t really care for that.”  
“Right. But he hasn’t mentioned him at all. And James himself has been keeping to himself — the whole group has been. And why do you think that is?”  
Lily nodded. “In times past they would be celebrating such a public and definitive victory, right?”  
The evening before the party, Lily saw Peter alone in the library, and she tapped his shoulder. He jumped as she sat down next to him.  
“Peter, hi, how are you?”  
“Lily, fine, how are you doing?” he squeaked.  
She smiled. “Fine, Peter, I’m just fine.” She leaned in and asked, “You know, I haven’t really seen you around much lately. Is there any special reason for that?”  
“No,” he said quickly.  
Lily asked, “No? Did Remus talk to you about it?”  
Peter relaxed. “So he told you he did?”  
“Sure. Just what did he say?”  
“He berated us. Made us see that we all hurt you.” He paused. “I’m sorry, Lily.”  
Just then, Remus came in. He looked straight at Peter. “Peter, what are you saying here? Lily, is he bothering you?”  
“It’s all right,” Peter mumbled. “She told me you talked to her about how you talked to us.” He stood. “But I think I’ll go now. And whatever they say,” he added, “James did not cry.”  
Lily looked at Remus in awe. “You made James cry?”  
He mumbled, “Well, you saw what they did to you. So I just said they better stay out of your way.”  
“Wow, Remus.”  
“So,” he said, “ready for tomorrow?”  
Lily nodded. “I wanted to talk to you about that. See, I usually went to Slughorn’s parties-"  
“With Severus. I know. And I don’t think we’ll have any problem with that.”  
“You don’t? You don’t think he’ll bother me?”  
“Not with me around, he won’t.”

Lily spent the entire party talking to Remus in an attempt to avoid Severus, but he was, oddly enough, nowhere to be found. The most awkward point in the evening came when Slughorn, of course, tried to apologise to her.  
“Miss Evans,” he asked, “how are you?”  
Lily straightened and set down her cake. “Fine, Professor. How are you doing?”  
He took a breath before going on. “All right. But you must know, Miss Evans, that I am informed of what happens here, especially when it involves members of this little group here.”  
“I would expect no less, sir.” Please, don’t, she thought.  
He nodded solemnly. “Then I think you understand that I refer to the event which took place just after the Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL. Just the other day, Regulus Black was telling me about it all.”  
Lily nodded in a way that she hoped looked professional and not tired.  
He patted her hand officiously. “My dear girl, I am sorry for how you suffered. I do my best to be supportive always of my students, but of course when some of my students attack others….”  
“Yes, sir,” she said.  
He droned on, “I must say, though, it will be a pity to miss out on the partnership of yourself and Mr. Snape in my class. You always did come up with the most interesting ideas working together.”  
Was she not succeeding? “Sir, our recent social encounter will in no way prevent me from working with Mr. Snape professionally or in class.”  
Slughorn chuckled. “Of course not, my girl! Professional, as always. Still, I hope that this is not too difficult for you.”  
“I am sure it won’t be, sir.”  
He folded his hands. “Now, I did also want to see-"  
Remus walked up to where they were talking. “Lily?”  
Lily raised her hand. “Remus, hello. Professor, this is-"  
“Yes, Mr. Lupin, another at the top of my class.”  
Remus shook Slughorn’s hand. “Thank you, Professor. Lily, I saw just here the book you mentioned to me. If you wouldn’t mind?”  
“Of course.”  
“So,” she said as they rounded the corner, “I don’t remember talking to you about a book here.”  
“You didn’t.” He smiled. “I just thought you needed out of there.”  
Lily nodded. “Thanks. That conversation….”  
“Poor Professor Slughorn. Such a fight between his two favourite students. And with his own house, no less. However will he manage?”  
Lily shook her head. “But now on to much happier topics, less stressful ones — like OWLs. So, how were your OWLs? Do you think you survived?”  
“I think so. But regarding the defence one, who knows, right?” Remus shook his head.  
Lily raised her eyebrows. “Oh, come on. Defence is your best subject — it always has been. I guess I should be glad, though. That all of this took place after the test, instead of before. Now all it affects is — the waiting.” Lily rolled her eyes. “How I will ever get through that, I don’t know.”  
“Not alone,” he said seriously, “You need something to distract you from the scores — and all this. Summer is a break from school, after all. Do you have any plans with your family? Any trips?”  
Lily shook her head. “We usually travel some, but this summer we’ll be just at home. And I just know that Severus will stake out Plas Newydd. And then I’ll have to see him, or explain to my family why I can’t. And then that’s all they’ll talk about for the whole summer. And then-"  
“How does this sound? Come visit me for a few weeks. I know my parents would love to see you.” He smiled. “My mom won’t stop talking about you. Severus doesn’t know where I live, so that won’t be any trouble. And it will at least give you a few days to relax. Then when you see your family, you can be really excited more than nervous. Excited to see them. And, without having to deal with Severus.”  
Lily smiled. How was it possible that he was thinking just what she was? “You are just too nice. Sure, that’ll be great.”  
She followed him back down the hallway and looked forward to the end of the school year. She was waiting so long that she was almost surprised when it actually came.  
Soon after, she was once again in the same car she had been in just six months before, but Mr. Lupin was much more friendly than he had been previously. He even tried to smile, and Lily nodded in respect. Mrs. Lupin was her usual bubbly self. After several words of rapidly spoken Welsh, the car arrived at the house. After Lily had put her luggage in her room, Lily and Mrs. Lupin stayed up until late talking to each other. At midnight, Remus came down for a cookie. Lily beckoned to him from the couch, and Mrs. Lupin got up and went into the kitchen.  
“Remus! We were just talking about the albums I gave your mum.”  
“Right.” He smiled. “You know, I was born in Wales. But I can’t understand. You’d think I would, but-" He left for his room.  
Mrs. Lupin pointed at the stairwell, and Lily went up to Remus’ room.   
“You could always learn, you know,” she said.  
“I guess so,” he said. Then he stood up. “Do you think my mom misses her home in Wales?”  
“She does miss speaking Welsh, I can tell. So do I.” Lily grabbed his hand. “Remus, you should learn some! It will be good for all three of us!”  
He nodded. But every time Lily offered to teach him, he waved her away. “I’ll take care of it, thanks” he said with a smile.  
And Lily did hear more Welsh from Remus than she had before. Their conversations became peppered with “Diolch” and “Bore da.” And a few of the times Lily and Mrs. Lupin began speaking Welsh, his nods and glances made Lily wonder how much more he might have understood.

On her second morning there, Lily walked to the backyard, when she heard a song she thought she knew. Wait, wasn’t that “Dacw ‘nghariad”? Lily’s mind went numb as Remus walked up to her.  
“Hi, Lily,” he said. Mrs. Lupin walked back inside the house. “Mum and I were just talking a bit.”  
“What were you talking about?” Lily asked.  
“Oh, that!” He shook his head. “Nothing.”  
Lily smiled, and Remus sighed. “Well, if you must know, she thinks we would do well together.”  
Lily brushed her hair behind her ear and asked, “Really? Well, we are good friends.”  
Remus nodded. “Yes, we are.” After a tense silence, he added, “As friends, I mean.”  
“Of course,” Lily replied. “And, Remus…”  
“Yes?” he asked.  
“Nothing,” Lily said. “Only - I thought I heard something.”  
Remus looked up. “What else?”  
Lily shook her head. “Nothing. I must have been mistaken.”  
He opened his mouth and then closed it again.  
“Remus? What is it?”  
“Lily, I… never mind. Never mind.”  
Lily narrowed her eyes but said nothing. Remus then trudged into the house, but Lily stayed outside.

After lunch, Remus called Lily and Mrs. Lupin to the living room. “For Muggle Studies, I have an interview project. I have to ask someone all about life in the Muggle World, and how Muggles accomplish day-to-day tasks without magic. Since the two of you are the only people I know who have lived there, I will ask one of you. For a Muggle perspective, Mother?”  
“Oh, Remus!” Mrs. Lupin protested. “It has been so many years since I have lived in the Muggle world, and from what Lily tells me, it has changed a lot.” She smiled. “Lily lives in the Muggle world now. Maybe you should study her.”  
“Right, then, Lily-" Remus said, but Lily walked to the back porch, fighting off tears.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Remus,” said Lily, “I am a witch.” Her lip trembled. “I know it may not seem like it at times, but — what is it you always say? - You have magic or not, and the conditions under which you have it don’t matter.”  
Remus lifted his hand and patted her shoulder. “You’re right,” he said. “I’m sorry, Lily.”  
“Just - just — after everything….”  
“It’s okay, you’re okay, you’re here.” He put his arm around her shoulders. “Dw i’n yma, hefyd[2].”  
Lily looked up. “Remus?”  
He smiled. “I told you I learned some Welsh, right?”  
“Yes, but — you learned that for me?”  
“What are friends for?” He looked at her. “And we have been friends, good friends.”

The next day, Lily went out to sit on the back porch. Mrs. Lupin sat down next to her and smiled when she saw her son walking in the yard.  
“Bore da, Lili.”  
“Bore da, Hope.”  
She pointed in front of her. “You see Remus there? He has been alone, all his life. His father and I do our best to keep him company, but it is no replacement for friends his own age.” She smiled. “That is why it is so nice to see him with the friends he has now.”  
Lily nodded. “He has been a good friend to me too.”  
“That’s good to hear. I know he cares a lot about you. Maybe it is time to take your relationship in a new direction.”  
Lily shook her head. “Hope, I know what you’re thinking, but I promise you that is not it. See, there was something that happened at school that was distressing to me. So he’s just being nice, like always.”  
Mrs. Lupin turned to face Lily. “Lily, that’s not it. There’s more. He likes you, you know.”  
Lily leaned in. “Really?”  
Mrs. Lupin smiled. “Really. But you know, Lily, that may not always be the case. Unless he knows what I do, that these feelings go both ways, you may just continue as my son’s closest friend, nothing more.”  
Lily blinked. “Did you say I am his closest friend? Did he tell you that?”  
Mrs. Lupin stood up, smiling. “Yes.” Lily walked out to where Remus stood by the fence.  
“Remus?”  
Remus straightened. “Yes, Lily? What is it?”  
“Did you tell your mom that I am your closest friend?”  
“Yes.”  
Lily cleared her throat. “Really? I am?”  
“You are. James, Peter, and Sirius - they have done everything for me, and I will always do everything I can for them in return. Their friendship means the world to me.” He paused. “But not one of them was the one I told about my — condition, the one who convinced me that I could have more friends who knew, who taught me that I was okay. And Lily, cariad, I will never forget that either.”  
As they walked to the kitchen, they saw that an owl sat on the counter, a letter in its beak. Lily took it and opened it almost automatically.

Dear Lily,  
You have often told me that forgiveness is among the noblest of the human traits, and that when someone realises the wrongness of his actions, the measure of his forgiveness spells out the measure of man he may one day become.  
I know now that what I did to you that day was wrong, and I apologise for it. I now can become a truly great man with the help of your forgiveness. I know your heart, and I know it has forgiven me. I only ask you to tell me so, so that I can become the man I know you wish I would.  
I miss you, Lily.  
Severus

Lily folded the letter back up and handed it to Remus. When he had finished reading it, he looked back up at Lily. “Will you, then?”  
Lily twisted her mouth. “I think I should. Don’t you?”  
Remus paused. “Normally I would advise forgiveness, yes.”  
Lily asked, “But?”  
Remus said, “The thing is, you can forgive him, but you don’t have to be his friend.”  
Lily squinted. “But how can I do that? If I forgive him, isn’t that the same as thinking he is still a good person? And you forgave Sirius.”  
Remus looked down. “Yes, I did. This is different, though.” He paused, and Lily rolled her eyes.  
Remus nodded. “It is a tricky distinction, I know. But this letter isn’t about forgiveness anyway, not really.”  
“I know,” Lily said. “He really just wants my friendship.”  
“Right. But that friendship was always hard on you, even before this.” Remus grabbed Lily’s shoulders. “I know you always try to be nice to others, I do. But if you don’t take care of yourself once in a while too, there will be no one left to take care of everyone else.” He added, “Whether you forgive him or not, I never will.”  
Lily nodded. 

“Remus, dear, she likes you. I am sure of it.”  
Lily stopped in her tracks. What was she hearing?  
“No, Mum, she is a good friend is all. She’s being nice — it’s what she does.”  
“It’s more than that. So you have got to say something. She’s just here two days.”  
“Then maybe I will.”  
Remus and Mrs. Lupin came out of the back porch. “Oh, Lily,” Mrs. Lupin said, and walked into the living room.   
Remus took her hand. “So, more of the stuff with my mum,” he said. “But soon she’ll stop interfering, I think.”  
Lily laughed. “This is hardly the worst thing to have happened to me in the last few months.”  
“I know. But I’m sorry she’s messing with us like this.”  
“Are you really?” She paused. “I mean, we are good friends.”  
“Right. But we can be good friends, best friends, who never leave each other, right?”  
“Is there any other kind?” Lily paused. “I do have to leave, though. On Monday I take my train back home.”  
Remus sighed and nodded. “I know,” he said sadly. “I’ll miss you.” He paused. “Lily?”  
“Yes?”  
Remus looked at Lily’s face. “We - we’re good friends, aren’t we?”  
“Yes, we are,” she replied.   
“Well, then maybe next year we should -“ he looked down at his shoes. “Still be good friends.”  
“Of course,” Lily said. “Excuse me now -“ as she walked to the staircase.

Mr. Lupin drove the family back to King’s Cross, and they all walked with Lily back to Platform 9.  
“Say hello to your parents for me,” said Mrs. Lupin. Mr. Lupin nodded. She added, “It has been so nice to see you. Remember our conversation.” Lily nodded.  
Remus stepped up. “You’ll be okay, won’t you?” He paused. “I’ll write to you as often as I can, you know.”  
Lily laughed at his worried expression. “I’ll be okay, Remus, I promise. And I’ll see you soon.”  
Sure enough, Mr. and Mrs. Evans were there to pick her up, as well as Petunia. While she said hi to everyone, Petunia stopped in her tracks. “Wow Lily, with you it’s just one thing after another, isn’t it?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Well, last year. What happened last year? You-" Petunia fell silent as Mrs. Evans walked into the room.  
“So dear, what is it?” she asked kindly. “Something with Severus?”  
Lily struggled for words and then gave up.   
“Because there are several owls waiting here.”  
There were flowers, books, and one letter after another.  
“Looks like someone has a crush,” Petunia said. “I told you.”  
Lily ran up the stairs to her room. There was another owl waiting there, but this one had a note Lily took eagerly.  
Lily,  
How was your train ride back? How was returning home? I hope Severus hasn’t made it too uncomfortable.  
You know, although the two of you can’t be friends, that doesn’t mean that he is your enemy. He might make your situation at home a bit awkward, to be sure, but that doesn’t mean he would ever hurt you. I know you were worried about it before. But just relax at home. If there are any problems, just tell me, and I will be right there to help you. Soon it will be the new school year, too.  
Just remember you have friends who are there for you.  
Remus

Lily sighed and ignored all of the gifts from Severus. Groaning, “I wish school would start tomorrow,” she fell back on her bed.

 

[1] The dialogue in this section is taken from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix pages 647 and 648.  
[2] I’m here too.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

Anjali and Lupita waved Lily over as soon as she walked into the Gryffindor common room. “Lily,” Lupita said, “why don’t you tell Anjali what you were just telling me?”  
“What do you mean?” Lily asked warily.  
“C’mon,” Anjali said. “It’s obvious you have feelings for Lupin.”  
“All right,” Lily said. “I might have. But I - how obvious?”  
Anjali and Lupita looked at each other. “I think he knows,” Lupita said.  
“He does?” Lily asked. “But he never said anything to me about it.”  
“Because you’re his friend,” said Anjali.  
Lupita added, “And because he doesn’t enjoy awkward conversations.”  
Lily stared at the bedpost in front of her. “So nothing will happen, then?”  
“Did you really think it would?” Anjali asked.  
Lily looked down. “No, I guess not. I mean, I kind of hoped so sometimes.”  
Lupita patted her shoulder. “I know. It hurts. But look on the bright side, now you can move on.”  
“But why?” Lily asked. “What’s wrong with me?”  
“Well,” Anjali said, “he is good friends with James Potter. That could be part of it.”  
“But I don’t care about that at all,” Lily said fiercely. “If that’s all, I’ll go ask him out right now.” She made a move to stand, and Lupita pulled her back down.  
“Lily, there’s more than that; of course there’s more. If he felt something and knew you did too, don’t you think he would at least hint about it?”  
Lily glared at her.“So why?”  
Lupita opened her mouth and closed it a few times. She looked over at Anjali, who said, “You feel something, and he wants to be friends but not to date. Does it really matter why?”  
“Yeah, you’re right.” Lily lay down. “So what do I do now?”  
Anjali said, “The first and easiest thing is to take some time apart.”  
Lily wrinkled her forehead. But they were always together, almost inseparable. “How can I do that if we’re friends?”  
“Just tell him,” Lupita said, “that you’re super stressed with one of your classes.”  
“But we study together.”  
“Just say you need some time with the professor,” Anjali said. “Look, you don’t have to be away all the time. Just spend two days a week together instead of five. He shouldn’t have a problem with it, either. It will help you both ease away from each other.”

But it didn’t. Even if she tried not to meet, Lily still saw Remus everywhere she went. When she saw him standing five feet from where she was studying, she sighed and walked over to see the only other person. “Potter?” she asked.  
“Hello, Evans,” he said, not quite as brashly as usual. “How was your summer?”  
“It was better than my spring, at least,” she replied.   
“That’s good,” he said. “My summer gave me a lot of time to think.” Lily nodded and raised her eyebrows.  
“Thinking? Really?”  
“Yes. And it seems that I owe you an apology.” Lily looked at him in confusion. He had never apologised to her before — not for anything.  
“Really?” she asked.  
“Yes. You see, Evans, I still think your friendship with - Severus - was problematic, and that it is good that it is now over.”  
“Potter….”  
He raised a hand. “However! I see that however part of the situation turned out, the rest of it was hurtful. So for the parts where I hurt you, I apologise.”  
“Which were?”  
“Um….” James began to rummage through his book-bag and pulled out a parchment. “You…you lost your best friend, and however good or bad it might have been for you, I’m sure it hurt. I had a hand in that, and I’m sorry. Plus, I set up a conflict between you and him in front of the entire school. That was humiliating, and I’m sorry for that. And… I said some stuff that made you mad.” He set the paper down and looked up. “I apologise for it all most sincerely.”  
“Hmm,” Lily said. Trying to act severe, she added, “You are, you know, arrogant, a show-off, all of that.”  
“I’m working on it,” he said.  
“And you know it’s wrong to bully people like that.”  
“I’m working on that too.”  
Lily tilted her head. “Have you finally grown up, Potter?”  
“It looks that way.”  
Lily went back to her books and saw Remus there. “Did you talk James into this?” she asked.  
“No, which is perhaps the most amazing part of it all,” he said. “He never even asked for help.”  
“Really? Not even once?”   
“No. All the advice I’ve given him for the past years seems finally to have settled in.”  
Lily nodded. “Well, good for him on that.” She paused. “I still don’t like him — but perhaps we can be friends.”  
A few weeks later, James came up to Lily after Alchemy class.  
“Yes, Potter?” she asked.  
“I’ve — had a thought, Evans.”  
“Yes, that can sometimes happen.” She smiled. “So, what was it?”  
“Do you think you could help me study?”  
“Sure,” she said. “Why now?”  
“Just meet me in the library after lunch, okay?”  
Once they had both settled in the library, Lily asked again, “So, what is it?”  
“What do you mean? What is what?”  
“Why are we here?”  
James tilted his head. “We’re here because I asked for your help. Remember?”  
“Yes, and that is just what I find so unusual. Why did you ask for help?”  
James sighed. “I really have to tell you, haven’t I?”  
Lily rolled her eyes, and James went on.  
“Do you remember last year? On the Hogwarts Express?”  
James sounded — unsure? Lily felt her smile fade as she replied, “Yes, I do.”  
He sat down next to her. “I realised something that day. Remus became Prefect, and I - I wanted it.”  
Lily opened her mouth, but James shook his head. “You know I was born to privilege and have boasted plenty.”  
Lily nodded.  
“So I was — used to having power. But I was just born like that; I never had to earn it. And then I saw I wanted to. So if you help me, I’m sure I can.”  
“James,” Lily said.  
“No. No, Remus is Prefect, and he’s a good one. I am far too mischievous for that, I know. But Head Boy - I could do that. I could be good at that. I’m not at the top of the class now — but I’m almost there. And you can help push me to the top. So,” he leaned forward, “will you?”  
Lily nodded and opened one of her books. “Let’s start with Transfiguration. I know you have great marks when you want, but you could have them always. You could have marks even higher than mine.”  
James pulled his chair closer to the table.  
A few hours later, Lily was talking to Remus when James walked in. “Hi, Lily,” he said.  
“Hi, James! How is Transfiguration going? Much more organised, right?”  
“Yes, thanks!” James said as he followed Sirius up the stairs.  
Remus lifted his face from his book. “James?” he asked.  
Lily nodded. “I know it’s all a bit different. He just asked me for help with-"  
“So, he’s your best friend now?”  
“Well, we’re getting closer.” Wait. “Which is what you wanted, right?”  
“Of course, of course,” Remus said, a trifle too quickly. “So, on to Potions?”  
“Sure,” said Lily. She picked up her book. “So, I started James on Transfiguration-"  
“Hmmm,” Remus mused. He stood and picked up his books. “Well, I forgot that I should talk to Sirius before it gets too late. I’d better go.”  
Lily blinked and shook her head. Strange day. Was James really acting nicer than Remus? She sighed. Maybe Lupita and Anjali were right. She trudged up the stairs and saw Lupita getting ready for bed. She shot Lily a concerned look.  
“What’s wrong?” she asked.  
Lily hung her head. “You were right. It’s never going to happen.”  
“You and Remus?”  
Lily nodded. “I was friendly with James just now, and he wasn’t jealous at all — he was glad!”  
Lupita smiled sadly. “It does seem like that.”  
Lily sat on her bed. “So what? I just avoid him?”  
“Well….”  
“Because the thing is, we’re friends, and we have been for a long time.” She tilted her head. “I just don’t want this to change that is all.”  
“It doesn’t have to. I’ve seen your friendship, and it’s so strong that what happens these months won’t even matter in the long run. But now - Lily, if you see him, it’ll hurt. And be hard. Just like it is right now.”  
She looked up. “So I tell him — what? That I can’t see him ever, with no explanation?”  
Lupita nodded. “The Prefect rounds are okay, and classes, of course, are too. You don’t have to talk to him about this. Just-"  
“Just be unavailable.”  
“Yeah. You can do that. When you’re not with Mudhi and me, study alone.”  
“I guess.” Lily walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind her.  
The next few days, Lily did her best to follow Lupita’s advice, but it was — even easier than she thought. It seemed that Remus was avoiding her too — that, or he had received the same advice she did. And even when she did see him in classes and at prefect meetings, they hardly spoke about anything personal or important.  
When Professor Slughorn held his next Slug Club meeting, Lily saw Dorcas Meadowes as soon as she opened the door.  
“Hi, Lily! How are you? That was some Ancient Runes class last week, right?”  
“Yeah, Dorcas! I haven’t seen you at one of these in forever! What are you even — oh.”  
The figure next to Dorcas turned around. “Hello, Lily,” Remus said.  
“Hi,” she said. “Excuse me, I’ll just….”  
She meandered off to look for the Edwards sisters, but Severus found her first.  
“Hello there,” he said seriously. “Lily, I’ve been wanting….”  
Lily went back to the door — and to Remus and Dorcas. “How are you?” asked Remus.  
“Fine,” Lily said as she brushed past him and out the door.  
“Miss Evans!” Professor Murphy said. “Are you all right?”  
“Yes, I’m fine, professor.” Lily walked up to him. “I just wanted a little break from the party.”  
“Quite the event, isn’t it?” he asked. “I imagine that there are any number of people there.”  
Lily nodded.  
“I was just going to see Professor Slughorn,” Murphy said. “Need a break from the people? Is that it?”  
“I’m fine, Professor, really.”  
Lily entered the party again. What was the point of being nice to everyone if there were still rooms of people to avoid?  
She sat by Lupita for dinner. Lupita followed her eyes to the Head Table, where Murphy sat talking to McGonagall.  
“I wonder what his plans are,” Lily said.  
Lupita looked at her oddly. “What do you mean?”  
“I mean his plans — for our next Alchemy class.”  
“Oh, the one in two weeks?”  
“Yes. That one.”  
“Well, he seems to get on with McGonagall. Maybe we can ask her.”  
Lily went back to watching Murphy’s and McGonagall’s conversation. 

Dearborn dragged an object into the room and pointed to it. “This is a Pensieve. Who knows what a Pensieve is?”  
Lily’s hand shot up, as did Remus’ hand. A few other hands also went up. Dearborn, though, pointed to her. “Yes, Miss Evans?”  
Lily cleared her throat, looking sideways at Remus, who nodded. She said, “A Pensieve is a device wizards may use to view Memories.”  
Dearborn nodded. “Right. And what does it mean to view Memories? Mr. Potter?”  
“A Memory is just that — the audiovisual experience of what a person’s memories are from the time specified in it.”  
“Correct. And now, Mr. Lupin, would you care to produce a Memory for us?”  
“Certainly, sir.” Remus held his wand up to his hairline and drew it away slowly; a delicate silvery fibre clung to his wand. He poured it into a flask and handed the flask to Dearborn, who poured it in the Pensieve.  
“Now, then,” he said.”The process for viewing a Memory is a bit complicated to describe, but easily done. So everyone, if you would, come and place your heads in the Pensieve with me.”  
The twenty of them placed their heads in the Pensieve. Lily began to wonder: was there a limit for the number of simultaneous viewers of the Pensieve?  
The Memory Remus had extracted from his head turned out to be one from about fifteen minutes ago. The class looked on as a second Dearborn lectured the room about the benefits of being able to rely on wandless magic and the perils should it go wrong.  
After the class returned and sat back down, Dearborn asked, “What was useful about this Memory?” Lupita, James, and Remus raised their hands.  
“It meant he didn’t have to take notes.”  
“If he ever needs to prove what happened just then, this is how he does it.”  
“In a case study of teaching methods, this would be a helpful example.”  
Dearborn stepped back in front of his desk. “Good. The largest collection of Memories is in the Department of Mysteries. Although Memories can be generated by any witch or wizard, Pensieves, which are the only way to view Memories, are expensive. There are a few individuals who have their own, but not many. Most people only use it in the context of their work or studies.  
“Memories are inadmissible in the courts for the same reason as Veritaserum. It is a gross violation of any person.”  
Lily raised her hand. “Sir, can memories be altered?”  
“Yes, they can be,” Dearborn said. “It is hard to do so, but it is possible. The only thing about it is that it is impossible to alter it such that it seems unchanged. You may be able to mask what really happened at that point in the past, but all viewers will at least be able to tell that some work was done to it. No, Miss Evans,” he added as Lily raised her hand again, “I do not know the exact procedure. It is, I believe, highly specialised Charms work; Professor Flitwick may be able to help you with that.  
“All right, other questions? Ms. Boötes?”  
“Are there any other uses for the Pensieve?”  
“There are two others. If I place a memory in the Pensieve, it is not in my mind. Therefore, anyone trying to read my mind would not be able to access that memory. Also, some witches and wizards gather collections of their memories and put them all into the Pensieve at the same time. That way, the Pensieve gathers the thoughts together to look for any similarities or connections between them. For instance, Aurors use this process to help them solve their cases. Also, Unspeakables also use this to help them process the large amounts of information they receive every day.  
“If there are no other questions, then I will see you all at our next class. Between then and now, I would like an essay on the top ten uses for the Pensieve and Memories, and why everyone should understand how they work.”  
The class filed out, but Remus and James stayed back, waiting for Lily. “We haven’t forgotten about Sunday,” Remus said.   
On Sunday (the actual birthday), James gave Lily a small box, and Remus did likewise. “Maybe you would like to check the Owlery,” he added.  
Lily,  
Today you are still a child in the Muggle world. But today you become an adult witch. Madam Malkin helped us select your birthday present, which she said was an important milestone in the life of any young witch or wizard. We hope you enjoy it for many years to come.  
Love,  
Mam and Da  
Lily opened the package. Inside was a watch, the traditional present for a seventeenth birthday. It was also engraved with her name. Lily looked back up at Remus and James. “Now open ours,” he said. Their packages, chosen of course to go with the watch, held a book and a few new quills and ink. “These are all of the signs that should accompany a powerful witch, as you are becoming — as you are.”  
“Thank you,” Lily said shakily. She looked at the three pieces again. “Thank you.”  
“Right,” said James. “Enough with the serious part of the evening. How about a party right now?”  
Lily shot a look at Remus - and then nodded. “Where should I go?”  
James tied a blindfold around her face. “Now James, if you think you’re going to the Astronomy Tower-"  
He led her back to a new room, all decorated perfectly. Lily gasped. “Where is this? Where are we?”  
He smiled. “The Room of Requirement. It gives you whatever you need, for one specific thing.” He paused. “In this case, for you.”  
And the row of bookcases behind the table of presents seemed to suggest just that. Lily smiled and hugged James and Remus.

Their first class the next day was Alchemy, and Severus was the first to raise his hand. “Sir,” he asked. “What about using blood in magic?” James and Remus both turned to look at Lily, but she seemed more interested in the information than distracted by Severus.  
Murphy looked up. “Blood works far differently from other liquids, such as oil or water. Blood - your blood is you. Your blood contains traces of your own individual markers.”  
Lily raised her hand, furrowing her eyebrows. “How often is blood used by others?”  
“Well, more often in the Dark Arts than in the lighter magic. We at school hold that we all receive roughly the same magical ability, while the Dark Arts in its use of blood suggests that each witch or wizard is unique. There are, however, several more wholesome spells that also call for blood.”  
“Right,” said Severus. “What kind of spells?”  
“Usually protection spells. A large amount of power can grow between those in the tightest of bonds, especially between a mother and child.”  
Mother and child? Lily shook her head. “Why so?”  
“The mother and child reside in the same body during pregnancy. As such, it is a strong physical bond. Also, mother and child spend much of every day together, and the mother is often one of the child’s primary instructors. So, there is also a strong emotional bond. The combination of the two is what makes the bond so strong in magic as well.” He raised his voice. “If we use blood in alchemy, that makes the object all the stronger, and it also makes the wizard weaker. All magic requires a varying level of energy, and blood loss saps one’s energy. That is as true for witches and wizards as it is for Muggles.”  
Lily raised her hand. “Professor, if you are tired, how can you tell if it’s from blood loss or from a spell?”  
“Miss Evans,” he said. “Although this blood magic could have an actual use, it is among the riskiest magics possible. Since blood is a requirement of your body for life, blood magic can go badly wrong, much worse than the potions that require a drop of blood. I have to advise you, then, not to use it. That way you will always know why you are tired.”

On Wednesday afternoon, Lily watched as McNamara cleared her throat. “Very well, then, class. We will continue our study of prophecy.”  
Mudhi raised her hand. “Professor, what if the prophecy is something we dislike? Is there a way to avoid it?”  
McNamara pointed at Mudhi’s face. In a threatening voice, she said, “You will disagree with your sister one week from today.” She smiled and added, “We will discuss this next week, Miss Boötes. All right?”  
As the class began to file out, Mudhi asked Lily, “Do you really think it’ll happen?”  
Lily frowned. “You and Starhi hardly ever argue. Plus, she’s not here. You won’t see her every day. So I wouldn’t worry about it.”  
But Lily still, when she got to the common room, Flooed Starhi and told her, “Mudhi’s going to have a tough week next week, okay? Take it easy on her.”  
The next week, McNamara called Mudhi to the front of the class. “Miss Boötes, how did you feel when you woke up this morning?”  
“I felt a little nervous, wondering both how the disagreement would happen and whether I could stop it.”  
“And when did you see your sister today?”  
“This morning, during my free period just after breakfast. Because I had been so nervous, I was more apologetic than usual, and that was the crux of our disagreement.”  
“Thank you, Miss Boötes.” She then turned her attention to the entire class. “What Miss Boötes just illustrated for us is classic human nature. When she became nervous this morning, she created a way for the fulfilment of this prophet, a way that could not have existed if she had not known about the prophecy.”  
Lily raised her hand. “And if you made the prophecy to me, professor, rather than to Miss Boötes?”  
“What would you do then, Miss Evans?”  
“I would try to warn her, of course! I would do — exactly what happened, I suppose.”  
“Yes, Miss Evans. It is a natural human inclination for one to try to prevent friends’ misfortunes.”  
Aoife Jones asked, “And if you make the prophecy, Professor, to someone who knows none of us well, such as Mr. Filch?”  
“In that case, he would perhaps not discuss the matter, but it is difficult not to feel the impulse produced by hearing a prophecy, that of finding and telling the subject.”  
“And if you told no one, ma’am?” Ian Wells asked.  
“Then it would not be a prophecy,” she said. “According to the definition of prophecies set forth by the Department of Mysteries, what is most important about prophecies is that they are heard and understood by at least one person, not simply that they are told.”  
Lupita raised her hand. “So - this prophecy came true because of the efforts at prevention. Has there ever been a prophecy that didn’t come true?”  
“Yes. Yes, there have been some. No system works one hundred percent. They are under investigation at the Department of Mysteries, and the Department tells us this: Some things are meant to be, but nothing has to be.”  
“Then, ma’am, what is the use of a prophecy?”  
“You will know what is meant to be, and what, most likely, will be. But really, the purpose of a prophecy is not for us to understand it, and certainly not for us to become obsessed with it. I do not know all of the details, I am afraid. The Unspeakables of the Department of Mysteries would know much more.  
“Have fun in Hogsmeade this weekend!”

On their way back from Hogsmeade, Lupita sighed. “I wish people would stop telling me how much English I know.”  
Lily kicked aside a stone in the path. “Maybe they just want to communicate.”  
“No, that’s not it.” Lupita paused. “See, when people want to communicate — they communicate! Like you and Mudhi. Or at least they try speaking English, and see how much of it works. But these people - I say ‘Hi, how are you?’ and they decide I don’t speak a word of English. But I got those words out, didn’t I?”  
“Yeah, it’s awful how they get all worked up over accents.”  
“I know.” Lupita frowned. “And it diminishes year by year, but my native language never will have been English. I’ll have an accent until I die.” Her eyes widened. “Lily. Are you saying I’ll have to deal with this my whole life?”  
“No.” Lily paused. “London - you’ve been there. Has this happened?”  
“Some. But not much.”  
“Yeah,” Lily said. “Hogsmeade is rural, see, and they’re not used to visitors. I remember, I went through this same thing in Ynys Môn. But stick to London, you’ll be fine.”  
Lupita thought. “But I don’t get it. You were born in Wales, right?”  
“But I grew up in England,” Lily said. “Made my accent just different enough.”  
Lupita said, “I never thought about that. But it gets better with time, right?”  
“It does.”  
“Okay.” Lupita pointed to Lily’s bags. “So, did you get everything?”  
“Everything I need for Alchemy!” Lily said. “And we ran into Murphy - that’s a nice hat he got.”  
“I guess it is.” Lupita asked, “So how are you, Lily?”  
“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”  
“Just I know it was hard for you to have to deal with everything with Remus, and right now, too.” Lupita sighed. “It’s never just one thing, is it?”  
Lily tightened her shawl around her. “Well, it’s all fine now. I’ve done what I need to do.”  
“Right. I guess James has helped you with that. So, you and him?”  
Lily rolled her eyes. “No, not him.”  
“Not him? Then who would it be? Another student here?”  
“No….” Lily turned an unmistakeable shade of red.  
Lupita pointed. “Oh! It’s Murphy, isn’t it? Just wait ’till I tell Mudhi!”  
“Lupita….”  
“I know. Mudhi just got too much in favour of the whole deal with Remus, right?”  
Lily hung her head. “Yeah.”  
“And this can’t work. He’s a professor! Lily, it’s against school rules.”  
“It’s okay, Lupita,” she said. “Nothing will come of it.”  
And for several weeks, nothing did. Late in June, though, Murphy was sitting grading papers while Lily walked by on prefect assignment. “Miss Evans!” he called out.   
She came up at once. “Yes, Professor?”  
“I was wondering what you thought of how the class has been going.”  
“I have been enjoying it, really. I also really like how you allow me to stay in the classroom to study in my periods off. That has really helped, I think. Since this class is so different from the others.”  
Murphy smiled. “Thanks. This is my first class, you know. It’s a relief to know it is going well.”  
Lily looked at the stack of papers. “Have you graded mine yet?”  
“No, it must be at the bottom of the pile.” He shuffled through the papers. “But I’m sure it will be great, as always.”  
Lily sat down. “Thank you, sir.”  
“Andrew,” he said. “I don’t exactly feel like a ‘sir.’”  
“Right,” she said. The moment drew out awkwardly long. “I’m going to get back to my rounds, then.”  
Every time she had prefect rounds after that, she would go to his room and talk. About Alchemy, about teaching, about the other classes — about everything, it seemed.   
She asked Remus, “What do you think of Professor Murphy?”  
He raised his eyebrows. “I haven’t spent as much time around him as you. His classes are — okay, I guess.”  
“But as a person?”  
He cleared his throat. “As a person? What - as a friend?”  
“I guess.” She changed the subject. “Hey, what happened to you and Dorcas? I haven’t seen you two together as much lately.”  
“It didn’t work out,” he said. “I couldn’t tell her.”  
“Do you really think you would have to?”  
“I do. Maybe not for the reasons you think, but because I wouldn’t want to date someone I couldn’t tell.” He looked down. “I told you. So why couldn’t I tell her?”  
“You need practise is all. You will be able to.” Lily sighed. “Looks like we are both having some difficulties here.”  
“Well, you have James at least.”  
“Do I? He hasn’t asked me out in a while.”  
Remus looked up. “Yes - Lily? Do you like him now? Is that it?”  
“Maybe. Don’t tell anyone,” Lily warned.  
He smiled. “I won’t. This is good, though.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

That summer, Lily at last was in Plas Newydd the day after school ended. At supper that evening, Mrs. Evans had plenty of questions for her and Petunia both.  
“What did you do, Petunia dear?” their mother asked.  
“I told Vernon, my fiancé, about Lily. I thought he should know about her — condition — before it’s too late to back out.”  
“Petunia, I understand why you thought that, I really do,” Lily said. “I just wish you’d talked to me about it. See, I am only permitted to share my secret with family.”  
“Now, Lily dear,” their mother said, “quite soon Vernon will be family.” She turned to face Petunia. “What would you think of bringing him by for supper, so we all get a chance to meet?”  
“Yes, Mam, that sounds nice,” Petunia said.  
“Wonderful!” Mrs. Evans exclaimed. “It should be before Lily goes back to Hogwarts, so she can meet him too.”  
Lily faced her sister. “But the point, Petunia, is that right now, he knows but isn’t family. Exceptions would have to be made.”  
“Like you made for David? He isn’t family, but you told him easily enough.”  
Lily’s eyes flashed. “Not by choice, if you recall. And about Vernon - just if you’d told me, I could have worked around it. But now, the law dictates I must have Obliviators wipe his memory.”  
“No!” Petunia gasped. “Attack Vernon with magic? When he has no way to defend himself? Lily, you can’t do that! Tell me you won’t!”  
“I’ll try not to, but-"  
Mrs. Evans said, “She has a point. Petunia, you never even told us about Vernon, and now you’re engaged. I think it would’ve been better if we’d all met him before now.”  
“Very well. I will call him today and attempt to correct my errors.” Petunia bowed. “If you will excuse me.”  
As she left, Mrs. Evans said to Lily, “You won’t really send Obliviators, will you?”  
Lily shook her head. “I don’t know, Mam. I’ll try not to. I don’t think so, but-"  
Mrs. Evans narrowed her eyes. “No, Lily. You cannot. Don’t you think this family has had enough trouble with Obliviators so far?”  
“Yes, that’s right,” Lily said. “I’ll see what I can do.”  
“Right.” Mrs. Evans nodded. “So, who do you want to bring? The Lupin boy?”  
“I thought it would just be us and Vernon,” Lily said.  
“Nonsense! Petunia’s bringing a guest outside the family, so you should too.” She leaned in. “Plus, it may be a little difficult to explain your magic to him. I remember that it took your father and me a long time to understand. Surely you don’t want to have to explain it alone?”  
“No, Mam,” Lily said. “But Remus is travelling with his parents this summer. I might ask James Potter.”  
Mrs. Evans paused, remembering, Lily was sure, all of the stories she’d told. “Are you sure?”  
“Oh, I never told you — he apologised to me. And we’ve become friends this last year.”  
“Well, then — if you’re sure.”  
“Thanks!” Lily sped upstairs to write two letters, one to Remus and one to James.  
The dinner was set for the day before Lily would begin her trip to King’s Cross. In an effort to calm her nerves, she went on a ride through the woods. Once the church clock struck five thirty, she turned he horse around and headed back home.  
As she dismounted, she saw a silhouette out of the corner of her eye. She walked back to the front door, where she saw James, with a stunned expression on his face. “I just came a little early to see — so you live here? Here?”  
“Yes,” Lily said, a slight smirk on her face. “This is the hereditary home of the Marquess of Anglesey.”  
“But - it’s even bigger than mine!”  
“Yes, it is.” Lily opened the door and watched his eyes widen as he walked in. “What, did you think there were no riches in the Muggle world?”  
“No, of course not-"  
“After all, the queen is a Muggle too.”  
This time, James was the one to smile slyly. “Well, actually….” He then actually finished a sentence. “But how is it that I never knew?”  
“You never asked.”  
Gwen walked by. “Arglwyddes Rhiannon, Mr. Dursley will arrive shortly.”  
“Right.” Lily turned to James. “I’m going to go upstairs and change before Vernon gets here. Have a look around. Our butler will help you.” She marched up the stairs, grinning a little at the memory of James’ startled face.  
Promptly at six o’clock, the family — and James - gathered outside the door, waiting for Vernon to drive in, which he did in five minutes’ time. Once he got to James, he asked Petunia, “Who is this?”  
“Oh, that’s James, who is Lily’s guest.”  
“Hello,” James said cheerfully.  
“Hello, sir,” Vernon said stiffly. “Do you — go to the same school Lily does, then?”  
“Yes, I do. In fact, my whole family is a wizarding one.”  
“Whole family….” He muttered as he went in.  
“Now!” Mrs. Evans said, sensing the conflict in the air between James and Vernon. “Let’s go in to dinner.”  
Vernon seemed as surprised at Plas Newydd’s finery as James had been, but he said nothing, looking over the house with an appraising eye as he followed Mr. Evans to the dining room.  
“Be nice,” Lily whispered to James as he eyed Vernon’s suit.  
“So, that’s a nice car you have out front.”  
“Why thank you, James,” Vernon said. “What kind of car do you have?”  
“I don’t have a car,” James said. With a smile, he added, “My parents don’t even know what a car is.”  
“What kind of backwoods-" Vernon began to exclaim, but fortunately, they arrived then at the dinner table, where Lily made sure to sit between James and Vernon.  
“Now then,” she asked, “Vernon, what kind of job do you have?”  
“I work at a drill company called Grunnings,” he said. “And what sort — you do have jobs, don’t you? Like normal people?”  
Lily swallowed her pride and said, “Right now, Vernon, I’m still in my last year of school. But when I finish, I plan to work in a think tank run by the government.”  
As soon as Vernon heard the term government, his face settled into his most peaceful-looking expression of the day. However, James had quite a different look on his face. He leaned forward and asked, “And, Lily, what is the name of the company?”  
“Oh, I doubt Vernon would be familiar with it, James.”  
But Vernon said, “Lily, I promise you that I am familiar with all of the companies used by the government. I also know several ministers of government through my job. So, which company is it?”  
“Well….” Lily stammered. “It is a department of the Ministry of Magic known as the Department of Mysteries. And, the people who work there are known as Unspeakables.”  
Vernon sputtered. “Unspeakable indeed! To have that lot mucking about in the government, of all places-"  
As the bangers and mash came out, Mrs. Evans gave Lily a silencing look, and she said, “I do hope you like the dinner, Vernon. Petunia told us it was one of your favourites.”  
He nodded, seeming relieved that at least one part of the evening was going his way. “Yes, it is.”  
“Actually, I was wondering if you could please tell us a little bit about your relationship with Petunia. How did the two of you meet and start dating?” Mrs. Evans asked.  
“My firm, Grunnings, was one of those Petunia’s class practised with after the first year. She was assigned to me. After a month, I decided to take her on a date.”  
“Yes, that is an interesting story. Lord Anglesey and I met through work as well.”  
“And how did you two meet?” Vernon asked, pointing to Lily and James with his knife.  
“Oh, we aren’t together,” Lily said.  
“Right,” said Mrs. Evans. “Aren’t you and -“  
“No,” Lily said, “we’re just friends.” Speaking to Vernon, she added, “James and I met at school.”  
“Umm…right. I guess it’s good that you have friends at a school like yours.” Petunia looked at him gratefully. James, however, did not.  
“Why don’t you come right out and say it?” he asked angrily.  
“And say what?”  
“Gentlemen….” Mrs. Evans cautioned.  
“That you think Hogwarts is an inferior school and that only weirdos go there?”  
“All right! I do!”  
Petunia burst into tears. Mrs. Evans looked reprovingly at Lily as she asked, “What is it?”  
“Why? Why does her school have to ruin every conversation we have?”  
“Petunia,” her father said, “I’m not sure it was her school that did that.”  
She pointed at James. “Right. It was him.” She raised her voice again. “But Lily, have all of your friends got to be like this? What do you do, pick out the strangest people you can find? I mean, first it was Snape, and now, is this one any different?”  
“Hey,” James growled. “I am nothing like Severus Snape. Nothing.”  
“Well, what’s the difference? Superiority of magic, and -“  
“And what’s more, I can assure you that your boyfriend is as weird.” He continued above Petunia’s protests. “I mean what did you do? Pick the dullest guy there in London?”  
“No,” Petunia sniffed, “I picked the most normal. Because normal is something this house hasn’t been, not for a long time.” She stood and pulled up Vernon with her. “I arranged this dinner because I cared about my family, because I wanted Vernon to, too. But you know what? In a few months, we will get married, and Vernon will become the most important family member I have. So I cannot sit here and let him be insulted like this. Excuse us, Da, Mam.” She pushed Vernon down the hall and out the door.  
Lily ran after her. “Petunia, I’m sorry this happened. I can fix it. Just let me - I will, I promise.”  
“Don’t you get it?” Petunia shouted. “I see, you’re new to this, and it’s exciting to you — but not to me, and not to him. We’re just trying to find it all out, and then you-"  
“That was James, not me. And if you don’t want to see him again, that’s okay.”  
“You may not have said it, but you were thinking it, I know. And he’s not the one I don’t want around.”  
Lily’s mouth went numb. “Petunia-" she finally said, but Petunia had already gotten into Vernon’s car. Lily finally trudged back in to the house. “Well, she’s gone,” she said. “With Vernon.”  
Her father stood. “Will she come back tonight?”  
“I think so,” Lily said. “He seems to be proper about the relationship.” She turned to James. “James, it might help if you-"  
“Go home?” he asked. He looked like he wanted to make a joke about it, but another look at Lily’s red face shut him up. “Yes - d’you have a Floo?”  
“Yes, we do,” Mrs. Evans said. “It is right this way.”  
“Lily,” her father said as James and her mother disappeared, “it is sometimes not the worst thing in the world to have a little fun with our world.”  
“I am learning that. But okay or not, it still was not fitting for a nice conversation with Vernon Dursley.”  
“Lily -“ he said.  
She stood. “One dinner! All he needed was one dinner, to see that not all wizards are unlike him. But - no! For James Potter, pureblood, I guess that was too much to ask.”  
Lily rushed away to see James enter the Floo.   
Just after the disastrous dinner with Vernon, Lily received her Hogwarts letter. Just as in fifth year, a badge fell out first. Lily smiled. She had made Head Girl. And who was Head Boy? James? She scanned the letter eagerly, but there was no other name. “I’ll find out on the train,” she said to herself.  
Her mother walked by. “What’s that, Lily?” she asked.  
Lily waved the letter and the badge in the air. “Mam, look!” she said.  
“Oh, you made Head Girl! Good for you,” her mother said. “And who made Head Boy? Was it that Remus Lupin?”  
“It didn’t say in the letter. I’ll write you when I find out,” Lily said.  
Which was soon. Just two days later, it was already time to board the Hogwarts Express once more. Lily made sure to pin her Head Girl badge to her shawl — to keep from losing it, her mother said. Once on the Hogwarts Express, rather than looking for Mudhi and Lupita, as she had done before, Lily looked instead for James, trying to find out if he actually made Head Boy. She found the compartment almost at once. “Congratulations, James,” she said as she noticed the badge pinned to his jumper. She hugged Remus hello and nodded at Peter. Sirius half-smiled but made no move to approach or speak to Lily, so she settled into the compartment. “Oh, right,” she asked. “Remus, James, do you know when the meeting is supposed to begin?”  
James checked his watch. “Half an hour, I think. Want to compare notes, Lily?”  
“Sure,” she said, trying to ignore the growing smirks behind her back.  
“So,” she asked, “how do you think the talk should go? Here are a few notes I wrote down.”  
“See, I’ve never been to one of these meetings before. But you have. What was the most helpful to you?”  
“I really liked the prefect meeting my fifth year. Let’s see, the Head boy and girl that year were Will Jones and Sarah Fawcett. So, they gave us the manuals at first instead of later, so we had a chance to look them over during the speech, to double check the rules. Also, they had a longer question and answer session than the one last year.”  
“Okay, we’ll do that, then. Where are the manuals?”  
“Right here. We’ll pass them around as the prefects come in, then.”  
A few minutes later, Remus came in. “Everything under control?”  
“Just about,” Lily said. “You don’t know who the seventh year prefect is, right?”  
“Lupita.”  
“Oh, good. She’ll do great.”  
A few others began to enter, and Remus handed them the copies of the manual. Lily sighed. “Here we go.” She nudged James, and the two of them walked to the podium at the front of the room.  
“Hello, all!” James said. Lily winced. This was not quite the dignified opening she had hoped for. “I am James Potter, and this is Lily Evans! We are so glad you are here!”  
“And while you are,” Lily broke in, there are a few rules to follow.”  
“Since you are so good at following rules, we thought we would add just a few more,” James said, waving the manual over his head. Several of the Prefects, especially the fifth years, laughed.   
“Now,” said Lily, “the most visible part of your duty is the prefect rounds. The system we have used for the past few years has worked well, and we will be sticking to it.” As she reiterated the basics for the prefects (and for James), she felt that they had begun a wholly new year.   
The classwork also featured a new intensity. At her first class back, Dearborn looked out over the room. “Hello. How are you? It’s good to see so many of you back.”  
The class echoed with muttered responses and scattered complaints about the quantity of summer homework.  
Dearborn spread his arms. “Yes, I know it was a lot of homework. But you know which year this is? This is an exam year, just like OWL year. And you remember how much work we had then?”  
Sirius raised his hand. “Yes, sir, but-"  
“And this year are the NEWTs. Nastily Exhausting. And you thought what? That this year would be easy?”  
Lily nodded. That was a fair point. And all of the professors seemed to be of the same opinion. Slughorn looked doubly apologetic as he loaded the class down with as much homework as they could stand, but McGonagall, predictably, was not.  
“Remember when you were just starting Hogwarts, and everyone told you how hard Transfiguration was?” she asked. “Well, this is why.”  
Flitwick: “This is a lot of work, and most of you will complain about it all week. But I have to prepare you for life as adult witches and wizards, and this is how I will do it.”  
McNamara: “There are many witches and wizards who consider Divination a soft subject, one that students take for easy marks. However, rest assured that the testers are not of the same opinion. To them, to me, and to many others, Divination is a noble and ancient subject, full of information that will help you whatever your profession may be. I have full faith that you can all accomplish this. Do not let me down.”  
Even Murphy seemed stern and resolute. “This class, do not forget, is one you all opted to take. Not in third year, like the other electives, but just for this reason and just now. All of you can excel in this class, and I will weed out any who do not.”  
Nor were his threats idle.

The year was also different outside school. At the end of September, Voldemort began to attack the Muggle population of Britain. He began with a family outside Essex. James walked over as soon as they all got the news.  
“Look at this,” James said. “Isn’t it terrible?”  
“The war now touches the entire population, not just half,” Lily said to him.  
“Your family will be all right, though. It is hard to reach Anglesey from England.”  
“One can never be sure.” Lily looked up. “I will have to tell my parents about this. And Petunia.”  
“Are you sure? Even when you’re so worried?”  
“Yes, I have to. She is a Muggle, same as my parents, and I have to protect her. And I don’t see how this has anything to do with her wedding. If she wants to invite me, she will.  
“Excuse me,” Lily said. She walked to Dearborn’s office. He looked up as she knocked on the door.  
“Yes, Miss Evans?”  
Lily walked up to his desk. “Professor, I have heard that you are part of an organisation to fight this war.”  
“Yes, Miss Evans. Yes, I am.”  
“I just turned seventeen, Professor.”  
“Yes, I heard. Congratulations.”  
“So, as an adult witch, can I join the group?”  
“Yes. The meetings are twice monthly for now, until you graduate. I know that being seventeen makes you an adult, but being a student also means you may have less liberty with your time than those who have already graduated.” Dearborn looked straight at Lily as he asked, “Why?”  
“Why not?” Lily paused. “So, how many members are there?”  
“Not so many right now. One thing we really need is recruitment. Until the end of the school year, do you think you can help with that?”  
“Sure.”  
Lily walked back and told James, “I joined the Order of the Phoenix just now, that Dearborn’s starting up.”  
“Oh, I heard about that some.”  
“So will you join too?”  
“I don’t really see what we can do. We are stuck here at school — we can’t fight the war!”  
“True. But they’re pretty small now. And they need all the help they can get.” Lily paused. “All the help we can get, I suppose.”  
“They put you on recruitment, hunh?”  
“They did. And you are my first mark.” Lily looked up. “So did I succeed? Will you join?”  
James smiled. “I will.”  
Lily grinned. “Say hi to Dearborn for me.”  
“I’ll tell him all about it.”  
James walked off, and Lily turned to the common room. She wrote to her parents and to Petunia, doing her best to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach as she did so. But a few days later, Blodeuwedd returned with a reply. With shaking hands, Lily opened the letter.  
“She does want me in the wedding after all!” she said to James. “She really, really does.”  
“Great,” James said. “As a bridesmaid?”  
Lily looked up. “Yes. I go to rehearse in just a few days.” She paused. “Petunia said I could bring a date, and that it could be anyone I like. Would you come with me?”  
James’ chest swelled, and Lily grinned. She knew he had been rather hopeful since the school year began, but he had — unlike other years — said nothing to her about it. “Sure, Lily,” he said. “That’s the nice thing about being Head Boy and Girl - it won’t be hard to get permission to go.”

Lily tidied up the tent in the lawn while her parents went to pick up Mrs. Evans’ dress for the wedding. As she straightened the pegs out, she heard a knock at the door, and she heard Mr. Davies answer it. A few moments later, though, he came running onto the lawn, calling out “Arglwyddes Rhiannon! Arglwyddes Rhiannon!” She went to the door and saw a police officer. “Lady Lily,” he said, “there has been an accident on the road in Holyhead. Everyone is still alive, but you might want to come with me.”  
Lily knew she had arrived at the scene when they reached klaxons and flashing lights. Petunia pushed through the crowd. “Are they alive?” she asked. The paramedics nodded. “Good,” she said. “Then, Lily, you can heal them, can’t you?”  
“Petunia,” said Lily, “I am not a trained healer. I can try to have them sent to a wizarding hospital, of course, but-"  
“Right!” said Petunia. “I want them here, now.”  
Lily scribbled a note out to Remus and handed it to Blodeuwedd. Lily and Petunia stared together at the sky, hoping for a response. But all to soon, one of the paramedics came up to Lily and Petunia. “I’m sorry,” he said. He kept talking, but Lily couldn’t hear a word he said. She looked at her parents’ bodies. Her stomach threatened to drop out, but Petunia turned to Lily and nodded. “No, that’s all right,” she said. “You can bring them back, can’t you?”  
“Petunia-"  
“No! No, you’re in your last year of studies, almost done. Surely you know how.”  
Lily began to feel ill. She couldn’t - could she? “Petunia,” she croaked, “that isn’t what we learn at school. That isn’t what magic does. It does not interfere with death.”  
“But they’re hardly dead - just a few seconds.” Petunia shook her head. “The old stories - magic is based on that, right?”  
Lily nodded.  
“Well, people come back to life in them all the time. Why can’t you do it?”  
Lily shook her head. “Petunia, I can’t.”  
“But they gave you everything. Are you saying you won’t even try?”  
But it would just go wrong, too wrong. She could never do that to them. “It would be wrong.”  
“And what of all the cases you were talking about just the other day? You know, the ones where the Healers saved people with just a sliver of life left? How different is that, really?”  
Lily looked down at her parents’ bodies. “Their souls are gone.” Lily hugged Petunia. She had to be the strong one. To be strong for them. “Our parents are gone, Petunia.”  
“But - you don’t know that. You said that isn’t what you learn. So try something, anything. Even if it does nothing-"  
“I cannot. We can’t mess with death.”  
“You mean, you won’t. Just like the lies. You do whatever pleases you — that’s all you do.”  
Lily wiped her eyes. Better not to respond. To be silent. Petunia was angry about their parents, that was all.  
“It’s convenient, isn’t it? You have all you could want at school; you’re giving up this life. So you’re giving up on them.” She added, “Plus, there’s my wedding.”  
Lily’s eyes flashed. She had to defend herself. “Your wedding? You think I would plan to spoil that? I have been a good sister to you Petunia - even when you are terribly angry, I always reason to myself that you must have your motives. But this is about our parents. It is not about me and you.”  
“Isn’t it? Hasn’t it always been?”  
That was it. Lily Apparated home, hoping that Petunia would be able to take the car back. She went to the living room fire and Flood the Gryffindor common room. Sure enough, James was there. “Lily? What is it? What happened?” he asked.  
Lily shook her head. “James, I - I can’t -“  
James stood. “Stand back, Lily. I’m going to Floo through.”  
In a moment, he was there. He stood and asked, “Lily, what’s wrong?”  
Petunia returned just then and shouted, “Lily! You can’t just run away from situations like this!”  
“I know!” Lily replied. “I have never cut and run - not like you did!” James went to the kitchen. “You left them. You left as much as I did. Because when I went to boarding school, a time when I had to be away from home, you were away by choice. They needed one of us; they needed at least one of their daughters. And you left them.”  
Petunia sat. “I see. I’m glad to see that is what you really think. We never exactly got along, but I thought you understood why I needed to be in London, doing what I was good at doing. But you’ve only been interested in yourself, haven’t you? Our parents saw that, make no mistake. And I see it now.”  
She stormed up the stairs, and James came out of the kitchen. “I - Mr. Davies told me what happened. Lily, I’m so sorry…”  
Lily nodded. “My parents died. They died in a car accident. Petunia’s wedding, oh….”  
“I know,” James said. He held her tight.  
“They have died,” Lily said. “There has to be a funeral. I will see about it tomorrow.”  
“You know,” James said, “I will be with you for whatever.”  
“For whatever.”  
Lily sat down. Exhaustion swept over her. “Are you all right?” James asked.  
“Just let me rest,” she said.  
A few days later, Lily stood in the graveyard as the priest read out the funeral Mass. The words swept over her, without making any sense. A few times James tried to reach for her hand, but the only face she saw there was turned away from hers.  
As the ceremony drew to a close, Lily walked the few steps to the only family she had left. “Yes, Lily?” Petunia asked, wiping her face.  
“Petunia, how are you?” Lily asked.  
“Considering. Considering that — why are you here? Shouldn’t you be off without your family like you always are? Off where none of this matters to you?”  
“It always matters to me!”  
“Not when you hid from our aunts and uncles. Not when you lied to our grandparents. Not when you told our parents that you couldn’t spend Christmas at home.”  
“At least I only left because I had to! I never left everything and everyone for life in - England of all places!” Lily widened her eyes. “Even your voice sounds different! How - why — would you even do that?”  
“In England, you see, there is lots of opportunity. So if I become that-"  
“I see. You’re ashamed of Wales, aren’t you? Wow, Mam and Da would be so unhappy to look at you now. You found a nice English house, English husband, English life - I mean the one thing that was always ours!”   
Petunia rolled her eyes. “I found a chance and had to take it. And your job after school, where will that be? Where will you be?”  
“But I won’t be trying to seem less Welsh! I will never, never forget my true home.”  
“Neither will I. I am not from there. But if I am to be happy, I must fit in.” Petunia paused. “Mam would understand, you know. She bought you all those robes, remember?”  
“Yes. But now, I still have plenty of Muggle clothes. And -“ Lily spread her shawl around her “-my shawl Da gave me, always my shawl. And when I am in wizarding London-"  
“You will be in London too?”  
“Yes, Petunia. Or do you think I should go somewhere else?”  
“No, I just-"  
“All right.” Lily walked back to Remus and James, feeling that the tears on her face were not only for her mother and father. She noticed that there were also many Hogwarts professors at the funeral. McGonagall was there, and Slughorn, McNamara, Flitwick, even Dumbledore. As the funeral ended, the professors all gathered to one end of the throng. James and Remus joined them as they ended the service in their own magical way.  
Once only Lily, Petunia, and Vernon were there, Lily felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and saw Severus there. “What are you doing here?” she asked.  
“Your parents were good to me. I liked them. I am sorry that they are gone.”  
“Severus-" Lily said.  
“I know. I am not here to bother you, I promise. This isn’t about us. I just wanted to let you know — that I’m here.”  
He patted her shoulder again, then turned and vanished over the hill.  
Lily leaned down to her parents’ grave and whispered in Welsh, “Don’t worry. I will never forget who I am.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

As soon as James left Môn after the funeral, Lily decided that she did not want to return to Hogwarts after New Year. She even worked herself up enough on Christmas that she drafted and sent him a formal letter abdicating as Head Girl, apologising for the inconvenience, and suggesting Mudhi to take her place.   
The next day, she was startled in the library when James came storming in, with Mr. Davies running after him. “Lily, what are you doing?” he asked.   
“James, my parents need me here. How can I leave?” She pointed to her tiara. “I am Marchioness now. My duty is to the Welsh people.”  
“But I thought you had already decided that. That you had to learn what you had at Hogwarts. That you would always regret it if you didn’t.”  
Lily stood. “I did. But that was when I though my father would be Marquess for many years. That it wouldn’t matter.”  
“But Lily! You have been through so much school. How can you leave now? In the last six months?”  
“The house will be empty if I go. I have to keep it. There is no one else.” Lily looked down. “This last Christmas, alone, here — do you know how it was?”  
James reached for her arm. “You could’ve come with me, you know.”  
She sighed. “I know. But I couldn’t go - I just couldn’t.”  
“Lily.” James looked straight at her. “I wasn’t going to make you come over for Christmas. Because you have beliefs and feelings, and I respect them. But I know — know that you will regret not going to Hogwarts. So even if you decide not to, I will still take you there myself if I have to.”  
Lily sniffed. “And you could make me?”  
James smiled. “Have you heard my reputation? Marauder.”  
“But - what about the Welsh people?”  
“Don’t you remember? Call your uncle - he is Marquess now. And anyway, who will save them from the wizarding war? You are in the Order of the Phoenix now — you will.” James blinked. “Six months. Just give me six months. And if you think it was a mistake, you can come back. Just six months. Everything will be all right. Trust me.”  
But everything was not all right. As soon as she got back to Hogwarts, it all seemed — not worse, but not quite like something she could handle. McGonagall met with her in her first evening back.  
“Miss Evans, I am so sorry for your loss. I know that there is no real way to make it better.” She leaned forward. “I know you are conflicted on what to do next. But your parents were always proud of your progress at school, and I know they would want you to graduate.”  
“Right. I got back to school, and I am going to classes. I just don’t know what else I can do to inspire other students. I was glad to make Head Girl, but I don’t see how I can be an example like that for the rest of the year. Maybe I should resign?”  
“No!” McGonagall rose and began pacing. “Miss Evans, you are our Head Girl from the beginning of the school year, and you will be our Head Girl until you graduate. You take as much time as you need to recover; don’t worry about that. I will help you with your schoolwork so you don’t fall behind.”  
“Yes, Professor.”  
Lily went promptly back to the Head Boy and Girl dormitory and began to take some time off. James came by every so often to offer her food, but she turned it down. Finally, he came by between meals. “Lily, you have been in that bed for three days straight. Come on, we are spending the day in Hogsmeade. The fresh air will do you good.”

In a few months, Lily felt that she once again was ready to focus on her classes. That, she reasoned, should not be so difficult. After all, it was not that much of a change.  
“After all,” she reminded James, “It’s not like I haven’t been in class these last months.”  
James smiled and nodded.   
So Lily did just that. She went to one class after another and just paid more attention than before.   
The first class she tried was Transfiguration. Lily smiled at her friends and pulled out her books. This, she reasoned, should go well. After all, she had always been a great student, the top of the class. No reason she couldn’t now. But then McGonagall began the class by saying, “Now, you all remember the procedure we learned a few months ago, right?”  
Lily’s mind went blank. Remus looked over at her wide eyes and pushed over his notes. Lily, looking at them, learned that they had been studying their first attempts at Self-Transfiguration. But that didn’t seem quite right.   
“James,” she said.  
He looked over. “Yes, Lily?”  
“I don’t - I don’t think that went right.”  
“Why?” He put down his books. “Could you not figure out what the class was about?”  
Lily nodded. “Of course I could. Remus takes great notes; you know that. But, you know….” She sighed. “I’m Head Girl. I give other people my notes to help in class. I shouldn’t need some.”  
“Then take notes,” James said. “After awhile, you won’t need other notes.”  
Lily nodded. That made sense. Really, it did. But after another few weeks of turning to Remus or Lupita in the first minutes of any class, and after a few more overly sympathetic glances from Slughorn (and even Severus), a frustrated Lily sought out even more advice. “All right, James. So what should I do here?”  
James nodded. “I know, I know. Needing help is never fun. But soon you won’t.”  
Lily pushed back her hair. “I know, I know. But what am I doing wrong now?”  
“Remember,” James said, “This is NEWT year. You always know it was going to be hard.” He continued, “Most of the rest of the year will build on the work we have already done so far. And you have done most of that.”  
Lily blinked. “I guess that’s true.”  
“Right,” he said sternly. “So you have notes from the whole first semester. You could look over those, and the classes will make more sense to you.”  
“I guess,” Lily said. “I just…should be able to do this. Without help.”  
“But you never did this alone before. You always studied in a group.”  
“Mudhi and Lupita?” Lily asked.  
“Mudhi and Lupita.” James answered. “Also, you were always close to all of the professors. I’m sure they can help you.”  
“I guess so.” She added, “James, you’ve helped me so much.”  
He nodded proudly. “I suppose I have. But they can help you too.”  
“I know,” Lily said. “But - just having you around has helped me so much.”  
James raised his eyebrows. “And?”  
“And I can’t help thinking - maybe you should be around more.”  
“Lily, we see each other the most part of every day.” He paused, sounding suddenly more hopeful. “What is it you are trying to say?”  
Lily smiled. “Yes, that.” She added, “You know, I will really have to work on my grades, so I won’t have much time -“  
“To date?”  
“But we could sometimes, if you like.”

The next week, Mudhi and Lupita received invitations, and their study group went back to meeting every other day. But it didn’t help - not right away.  
The next Defence class focused on magic that was wandless as well as voiceless. There, Lily hit a snag. She was almost always one of the first, if not the first, in the class to master the given spell. So why was she one of the last today?  
She walked up to Remus and asked, “Are you having any trouble with this?”  
“Not really,” he said. “I mean, yes, it was a big change at first, but once I got it, it made the next ones a lot easier too. Why? Having some trouble?”  
“Yes,” she said. “Whatever the spell is, I just can’t get it. But I can’t for the life of me figure out why.”  
“Hmmm,” Remus said. “In that summer after fourth year, didn’t you study with the druids some?”  
“Yes, but that was a different sort of magic.” She paused. “So how could I think it was like this?”  
“But - it was wandless. So maybe-"  
“Whenever my wand’s gone, that’s my reflex! Remus, thanks!”  
But when Lily went back to her spot, it seemed just as hard as before.  
“So, Remus. How do you think I get rid of this?”  
He squinted. “Your time with the druids is your obstacle, right? Can you just ignore it?”  
Lily crossed her arms. “No. Do you think you could forget what your father said?”  
Remus dropped his head. “I guess not.”  
Lily blinked. “Remus, I’m sorry. Here I am, making everyone around me miserable too.” Her voice dropped. “How is James?”  
Remus smiled. “Lily, you know. He has liked you for four years now — he’s so happy.”  
“Not miserable?”  
“No, not miserable. Happier than I’ve ever seen him, really. And a lot of that is because of you.” He raised his arm. “Okay, let’s try it again.” They stood there for hours, Banishing (or Vanishing) cushions to the other end of the room. Finally, one of them flew away. Lily grabbed Remus’ arm. “Look! I did it!”  
“Good, Lily,” he said. “Watch it now — are you okay?”  
“I guess they really weren’t kidding about how much wandless magic takes out of you!” she laughed.  
“No. I get really tired afterwards too,” he said. “Here, have some.”  
He pulled a bar of chocolate out of his pocket and handed it to Lily.  
“Thanks.” The chocolate, sure enough, did seem to replenish her internal energy. “Between the calories, sugar, and caffeine,” he said, “it’s like it was made just for us.”  
Even studying with Mudhi and Lupita, Lily’s classes still seemed difficult for several weeks. The other students varied between pitying looks and laughing about the fact that they were better than her in classes.   
“But not for long,” Lily whispered. And with the help of James, Remus, Mudhi, and Lupita, it wasn’t.

 

Lily stepped into McGonagall’s office for what seemed the umpteenth time since January. They had met and met about Lily’s recovery from her parents’ death.  
“Professor McGonagall,” she said. “I appreciate your concern for my situation, really I do. But if I were going to fall apart from grief, I would have done so already. My schoolwork has been helping.”  
“Miss Evans,” McGonagall said, “I am glad that you are feeling better now. However, that was not the intent of this meeting. Ms. Smith?”  
The woman standing next to the desk looked up and cleared her throat. “Miss Evans. I believe you expressed some interest in working as an Unspeakable, did you not?”  
“Yes I did, a few years ago. Is there an issue of some nature with that?”  
Ms. Smith laughed. “No. The Department of Mysteries, like all other places of employment, is glad to hear that others take an interest in their company.”  
McGonagall added, “However, it is a specialised profession. I wanted to make sure this was in fact your original intent in our Career Advice session.”  
“I work in Recruitment and should be able to answer any basic questions you may have,” said Ms. Smith.  
Lily thought for a moment. “Ms. Smith, I am a Muggle-born witch. That wouldn’t be an issue, would it?”  
Ms. Smith smiled and shook her head. “Magic is magic. And we at the Department take magical help wherever we can get it. But to be straightforward, no, it would not be a factor in placement, rank, or pay.”  
“Very well. Also, as a person who has grown up in the Muggle world, I find that the easiest way for me to consider jobs is to think how those jobs might translate to professions in the Muggle world. I consider the Department of Mysteries to be similar to a think tank or a research facility. Is that the case? And what are the specialisations in the topics for research?”  
“The topics are well varied in their subject matter. However, yes, you are correct; the work of an Unspeakable is rather like that of a researcher. As Professor McGonagall mentioned to you before, there are many subjects you should take here at Hogwarts to prepare. I was especially pleased to see your exemplary marks in Astronomy and Divination, as well as your work in Alchemy. Although these fields are discredited by some witches and wizards, they also can be used to provide valuable explanations for the magic we all share.” She smiled. “I hope that answered your question. Do you have any others?”  
“Yes. Could you please go over the internship process and the way that translates into a career?”  
“Certainly. Upon graduation of Hogwarts, you will submit your application for the internship.”  
“Prior to the arrival of our NEWT scores?”  
“Yes. We will have your OWL scores and grades, and that will provide us with a basis for your NEWT scores as well. Occasionally a student is dismissed from the internship after receiving subpar NEWT scores, so you will still want to try your best. I do not think you will have any trouble, though.  
“After you submit the application, it will take us about one to two months to process them all. From that pool, we will select a group of around fifteen interns. You will be notified of the final decision by owl. Each of the interns then will begin to work with an Unspeakable with at least five years’ experience, called a mentor, and will receive a stipend for living expenses each month.”  
“And that’s for a year?”  
“It is. After a year, the Department of Mysteries will choose from its interns to fill its positions left vacant. If you are offered and accept the job, your mentor will become your partner, until you yourself have five years’ experience and may mentor a new intern.”  
“Anything else?”  
“Yes. What else do you think I should know?”  
“Professor McGonagall told me your schedule. Your choices of classes seem to me that they will provide you with the wide range of skills the Department will require. Keep working in your classes and as Head Girl, and I am sure that you will be a great Unspeakable.”  
“Thank you for coming in,” Lily said. McGonagall echoed her thanks, and Ms. Smith Flooed back to work.  
Lily turned. “Professor McGonagall, thank you so much for bringing her in to speak with me. I really appreciate all of the help you have given me. I know it will benefit me for years to come.”  
“You are welcome, Miss Evans.”  
“Also, Professor, I am sorry that I mistook the purpose of the meeting at first. I am afraid I was far harsher toward you than you deserve.”  
“It’s all right, Miss Evans. You were quite right - I should never allow my concern to cloud my judgment.”  
“Well, thank you for this chance to talk to Ms. Smith.”  
“You are quite welcome.”

Before Lily even quite realised it, May appeared on her calendar. All of her study time was over. And what had she done with it?  
James tapped her shoulder. “It’s okay, Lily. You worked hard for this. You can do it.”  
Lily walked with him into her first NEWT exam, the Charms written exam. After that, she waited to be called to the practical. It seemed that the exams were aptly named. The professors were right. A dazed expression filled the faces of the seventh years, as well as sympathetic, condescending glances at the stressed-looking fifth years.  
One exam after another went by, and Lily began waiting for graduation. It was a small ceremony, simply part of the leaving feast. One by one, McGonagall called them up to receive a parchment from Dumbledore.   
After the ceremony, Lily walked back to her bedroom for her last night at Hogwarts. “So,” James asked, “you got everything ready to go?”  
Lily nodded. “Thanks for doing this, James.” In the summer, James had invited Remus to stay with him at the Potters' home in London, and during the year he had said that Lily could live there too. Lily looked back down at her closed trunk, with her clothes for the next day folded neatly on top.  
In the morning, Lily said goodbye to all the professors before leaving, though in the case of Dearborn, it wasn’t for long. James led her onto the train, and she instantly found Mudhi and Lupita in the nearest compartment.  
“So, where are you going now?” she asked Mudhi.   
Mudhi smiled. “I’m staying in Scotland, actually. Pride of Portree.”  
“Then why did you take the train?” Lupita asked her curiously.  
Mudhi laughed. “Just for the fun of it, I suppose. I mean, I know it doesn’t make much sense.”  
“You’re going from King’s Cross right back?” Lupita asked. Mudhi nodded. “I’m straight away myself. King’s Cross to Spain.”  
“Have you got a job lined up there yet?”  
“No, not just yet. I’m going to stay with my mum awhile first.”  
The two of them looked over at Lily. “And what are your plans?” Mudhi asked.  
Lily swallowed. “I’ll be staying here.”  
“All summer long?”  
“Well, it’s not like I can go home now, is it?” Lily shrugged. “I’ll stay here until I join the internship.”  
Mudhi raised her eyebrows. “With James?”  
Lily rolled her eyes. “And Remus.”  
Mudhi laughed, and Lily laughed with her. Lupita eventually joined in. They stayed like that, talking and laughing, as the train pulled into King’s Cross.  
Lupita moved toward the door. “I think the Portkey will leave in just half an hour, so I’d better go.”  
Mudhi spread her arms. “Well, Lupita, it’s been a pleasure. Have fun in Cáceres. We’ll hear from you soon?”  
“Yes, of course. My pleasure too!” Lupita pulled Mudhi and Lily into a hug.  
“We’ll miss you so much,” Lily said. “Good luck in Extremadura.”  
Lupita smiled. “I’ll miss you both too, of course,” she said. “And good luck to you in Britain!”  
Lily and Mudhi walked off the train. Mudhi looked up at the clock. “My train leaves soon, too,” she said. “I’d best get to my platform.”  
“Which is it?”  
“Seven.”  
“Right, then.” Lily smiled tightly. “I know you’ll be great on the field, Mudhi.”  
“And you as Unspeakable, Lily.” Mudhi hugged her. “I’ll see you soon.”  
Lily looked at Mudhi’s retreating figure and nodded. She, James, and Remus joined hands and Apparated to the house.  
A house-elf bowed to them as they appeared in the living room. “This is Elly,” James said. “She will help around the house.”  
“Hello, sirs and miss,” she squeaked.  
“Hello, Elly,” Lily said. Remus nodded.  
James pointed to the three trunks on the floor. “Yes, Elly, these will go in the bedrooms upstairs. Can you help with that?”  
“Yes, sir!”  
“So, this is your family’s house?” asked Lily.  
James nodded. “Not the main one. Our family’s estate is in the West Country. My family keeps this house, though, for our business in London.”  
Remus added, “Thanks for this, Prongs. It should be a good summer.”  
Lily nodded.  
The first large change came just a few weeks later, when Dearborn visited.   
“So, everyone here is a member of the Order of the Phoenix, correct?”  
The three of them nodded.  
“Good, then. Now, the schedule of the meetings will be different out of school.”  
“That won’t be a problem,” James said. “Without school or work to take up our days, we’ll have plenty of time.”  
Dearborn nodded. “I wanted to discuss just that, Mr. Potter. You see, there are not many of us in the Order of the Phoenix just yet.”  
“And you need people to handle the management?”  
“Yes. There already are a few, but not enough. I know, though, that you don’t have a job yet. Do you think-"  
James and Remus nodded. “I don’t have a job either,” Remus said. “I’d like to help, if I can.”  
Dearborn nodded. “Good.”  
“I already applied for my job,” Lily added.  
“Department of Mysteries?”  
She nodded. “But at first it’s an internship, so maybe I could do some paperwork or something.”  
Dearborn raised his eyebrows. “The fun part.”  
“Yes, sir, good point,” Lily said. “But I’m not really much for strategy. But everything has paperwork.”  
Dearborn stood. “Thank you.” He swept out the door.  
James and Remus began to spend much of each day at the Order headquarters. They soon recruited Sirius and Peter as well.

In just a few days, it was time for Lily to begin her vocation as well as her avocation. An owl flew into the kitchen with a letter. A few days later, Lily walked into the room for the Department of Mysteries meeting and took a seat. There were already four others, and a few more came in after her. Just as the clock struck ten, a tall man walked to the front.  
“Hello,” he said. “My name is Stephen Swanson, and I am in charge of the section of the Department of Mysteries that takes in new Unspeakables. You are all here to begin your year-long internships in the Department. The Department of Mysteries is the oldest department in the Ministry of Magic, but its subjects of study have varied quite a lot with time, as the consideration of what is a mystery has changed. Currently, it focuses mostly on studies on time, with prophecies and memories, and on studies of the nature itself of magic. Of your classes, you may have heard mention of the Department in classes in Divination. However, you yourselves will see that our Outreach Group works hard to summarise the entire work of the department, and that even they are not able to include every project in their outlines. The workers here are known as Unspeakables. Does anyone know why?”  
Three of the group raised their hands.  
“Sir. Because we are trusted with confidential information and cannot speak about it?”  
“Sir. Because we hold ourselves apart from other departments in the Ministry?”  
“Sir. Because we choose to remain silent?”  
Mr. Swanson raised a finger. “Yes, we do. The most common misconception regarding this name is that we are all mute. This makes sense as far as the literal meaning of the term: unspeakable, unable to speak. However, this term does not apply to us, it applies to the work we do. It is unspeakable: unable to be spoken. Because to outline what we do at work is to try to explain it, and many times that would take more time than would serve our purposes. Nevertheless, a part of your internships will be in our Outreach Section, which does indeed explain a few of our larger projects in order to garner interest and resources from the Ministry and private donors. Please understand that, like with all instructions you will receive, there is a time to follow them and a time to do otherwise. The ideal Unspeakable will be able to discern these times.” He paused. “Also, please do not call me sir. Although there is certainly a chain of command here, one notable difference between the Department of Mysteries and other departments is our feeling of equality among all of our members, even interns. We are all experienced witches and wizards.  
“The several Unspeakables in the Department are divided into a few Study Groups. One of these is the Outreach Group I mentioned before. Another is Management Group; there are also several others: Head Research, Treasury, Library, Internal Affairs, and Acquisitions. There is also a system of rank among the Unspeakables. The highest rank is that of Senior, and there are also Group Leader, Mentor, Worker, and Intern. You will see this through your work with a Mentor in the department. Your Mentor will be an Unspeakable with at least five years’ experience in the department, so he or she will be able to ensure that you learn as much as possible from your experience in your internship. We will choose between three and five new Unspeakables for a permanent position at the end of this internship. If you are offered the post and accept, your Mentor will be your new partner at work.   
“Now, one other matter. I know that you all have learned spells in Latin. Schools over the years have been able to standardise magic on a worldwide scale in this way, because all of us learn of Latin as an ancient language, demanding of respect. However, the levels of magic you will work with in the Department of Mysteries requires magic with more individual power than even what you have learned in your final years in class. For example, when casting spells, I use the Persian language.” He moved to see each member of the small group before him. “Now, does anyone know the basic requirement for the language used in spells?”  
“It must be a language the caster considers ancient.”  
“What else?”  
“It must be one the caster can pronounce.”  
“Yes. A basic knowledge of the grammar of the language helps too. What else is there?”  
“Well, the language must be one considered to be powerful.”  
“Good point. Any spell can only be as powerful as the words and gestures that you use.” He paused. “Now, each of you will need to choose for yourself a language that is powerful, ancient, and pronounceable. For some of you, this language will be Latin still. That is all right. Do not think of whichever language would be most palatable to others or to me; think only of which language will work best for you. I will not hear every spell you cast; I will only know your progress through your results.”  
“So it can be any language?”  
“Yes, any language will work.” He pointed to the blackboard. “Do we have some choices, then? Tell me what they are, and I’ll write them up here.”  
“Greek.”  
“Latin.”  
“Old English.”  
“Old German.”  
“Sanskrit.”  
“Welsh.”  
“Yoruba.”  
“Chinese.”  
“Good. A part of the internship of each of you will be study in the use of your particular languages for spellwork. Yes?”  
“Can we use this language for spells outside the Department?”  
“Technically, magic is magic, and you can use any method that works for spells. However, I would recommend that you continue the use of Latin away from work. The government has spent much effort and many years of study to find out which spells should be taught in school. It is the one your body is the most used to, so it will require far less energy. Also, use of a different language, like other aspects of the Department, will necessitate a long and complicated explanation. Does that make sense?”  
“How do we choose Mentors?”  
“Your Mentors actually have chosen you. The department began on the idea that interns should choose the person from whom they would like to learn, but our early interns did not gain a good understanding of the department. And that is understandable. The department, I promise, is different from your ideas of what it might be, and only time will give you a good understanding of how you best can learn. The Mentors, with their experience in the department and as former interns, know how best they can teach what you need to know. By perusing your applications, they recognised who could best receive the instruction they had to offer.” He pulled out a sheet of paper. “This page has all of your postings with Mentors. I will post the paper here, where you can see it easily. You will first meet your Mentors at your introduction tomorrow.”  
“Are there any other questions?” He waited a minute before adding, “Okay, then. Thank you.”  
The class filed over to see their Mentors. Lily looked at her name. Next to it was someone called Augustus Rookwood. Who could that be?


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

Lily hurried into the room and looked at the file marked “Transfer of Magic.” She remembered what Remus had said years ago. “You will always have magic. There is no way, no way, to give that up.” But the thick file she held seemed to say that there was.   
She opened it. The first page in the file was a summary of progress. It read, “It is impossible to transfer magical ability, but these cases demonstrate that it is possible to transfer magical power. The Muggle will still be a Muggle, but he will have the power to perform one spell, and the wizard will remain without magical power until that spell has been used. This phenomenon has been studied in 5 cases, over 57 years.”  
The next page had a photograph clipped to it of a couple, smiling. The page read: “Mr. Philip North (Muggle) and Mrs. Sylvia North (Witch). Mrs. North successfully transferred her power to Mr. North on 23 September 1932. Mr. North immediately felt the transfer of power and used it to clean the house while Mrs. North was at a play. Between the transfer of power and its return to Mrs. North as soon as he had completed his spell, there was a time delay of 13 minutes. Mission: Successful”  
Lily flipped to the next case. “Mr. Oliver Trotter (Wizard) and Mrs. Anna Phelps (Muggle). Since the two were brother and sister, they wondered whether it might create a stronger bond on their trial of the procedure on 14 May 1922. Mr. Trotter successfully transferred his magic to Mrs. Phelps, and she used this to carry several trays of food to the kitchen. Immediately after her successful spell, Mrs. Phelps also tried, unsuccessfully, to use magic to conceal a pimple on her nose. However, at that time, the magic had already returned to Mr. Trotter. Between the transfer of power and its return, there was a time delay of 7 minutes. Mission: Partially Successful”  
The next case seemed to have been the oldest. “Mr. Thomas Daniels (Wizard) and Miss Marjorie Edwards (Muggle). Miss Edwards was Mr. Daniels’ ward, and she received the transfer of power from Mr. Daniels on 9 July 1921. She felt the transfer of power and used it to create a fire in the fireplace. There was a time delay of only 23 seconds between the power transfer and the return of the power to Mr. Daniels. However, this incident was the result of a month spent tinkering with the exact words necessary for the spell. Mission: Ultimately Successful”  
“Ms. Cassiopeia Malloy (Witch) and Ms. Branwyn Adams (Witch). The two were completely unrelated, merely friends. They wondered: If a witch or wizard transfers power to another witch or wizard, will the recipient have twice as much power? They chose to test this theory through a transfer of magical ability from Ms. Adams to Ms. Malloy on 4 August 1967. Ms. Malloy then attempted to create wards around her home. She noticed, though, that the creation of the wards sapped just as much strength from her as it would have had she not received the extra power. Ms. Adams similarly tried a few simple spells during the transfer and found that she had no magical power until the magic was returned 22 minutes later. This led her and the Unspeakables present to conclude that the human body is not prepared to receive more than one unit of magical power. If the person receiving the magic is a Muggle, his or her Muggle body will strain to take on the extra magical burden. A witch’s or wizard’s body will also attempt to receive the magic, but the body will conclude that the person has magic already and does not need any more.  
The couple on the next page was an odd one: a man well over 80 years old and a 13 year old boy. “Mr. Leonard Richter (Wizard) and Mr. Joseph Richter (Squib). Mr. Leonard Richter had been informed by Healers that he was in his final hours of life when he transferred his magical ability to his Squib grandson on 11 December 1970. He died before Mr. Joseph Richter performed the spell that would precipitate the return of the magic. Therefore, at the time of his death, his magic resided not in him but rather in his grandson. Previous Department of Mysteries studies into the nature of death suggest that by the time the boy performed his warming spell, 92 minutes after the transfer, Mr. Leonard Richter’s soul had gone on and was no longer present. Therefore, after his completion of the spell, the boy lost all magic ability for a fortnight while the magic sought a way to return to its source. However, this attempt was unsuccessful, and the boy now attends Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. His grades are average, and he learns and uses magic with the same skill as most of the other students. At the school, the authors of this report visit and talk to the boy and his teachers each month to check on his progress and to see whether his magical ability is waning, increasing, or the same as before. For more information, please see Personal File: Richter, Joseph Edward.  
Lily closed the file. “Did the boy graduate?” she asked.  
“Yes,” said Rookwood. “He did one year ago. Did you ever meet him?”  
Lily thought back. “No. I never did. He blended into the crowd, I suppose. But the Unspeakables - them I saw. McGonagall called them to speak to me.”  
“People under studies always try to blend in as best they can, but no one can erase all of the signs.” He closed the file. “Any questions?”  
“Can Muggles steal magic? Or can they precipitate the transfer?”  
Rookwood pointed to a list in the file. “These are people who wish to carry out the power transfer now, to test it. We can check with one of them.”  
Lily looked at the list. Too old, too ill, and “Mr. Charles Edwards (Wizard) and Mr. Anthony Dahlman (Squib).”  
Rookwood began to write them a letter. “Okay. We will post this and then wait for their response.” He looked at Lily curiously. “So, now you can go to whatever appointment you have in the afternoons.”  
“I have-" Lily bit back the rest of her words.  
“You have what? A secret job, like this one?”  
Lily stormed home. “James, Rookwood was bugging me about Order business again.”  
“Yeah, he’s a weird guy.”  
“But don’t you think there’s something wrong with that? I mean, never once has he asked me even when my birthday is. But this, he wants to know all about?”  
James held her shoulders. “Lily, dear, you are an Unspeakable. You know what happens in the Department of Mysteries, when no one else does. Making it your job to find out confidential information. That has to make you a little curious, and nothing spurs curiosity on like a closely guarded secret. I bet Rookwood knows you don’t want to tell him where you go after your internship, and that’s why he wants to find out. That’s all.”  
“I guess. Now, what’s for lunch?”  
“Actually, the Order is working on a new project, so okay if we get sandwiches at headquarters?”  
“Sandwiches - that sounds good.” Lily spun on her heel and Apparated to the Order’s “building,” the home of the Prewett brothers. She walked into the kitchen, where Marlene McKinnon was making roast beef sandwiches. “So,” Lily said, picking one up, “what’s this new project?”  
Marlene said, “Well, surely you’ve noticed, Lily, the way Voldemort’s been trying to recruit the werewolves to his cause.”  
Lily nodded. They had discussed this with Remus - if only he could tell the Order! If he could — if he would.  
“He specialises in adult werewolves who got the bite as children, and those without a family. He has been doing this by focusing on the werewolf colonies. We were not equipped to fight this before, but we are now.” She motioned Lily back into the living room, where a large map was laid out on the coffee table. “These are the colonies in England, the ones we think Voldemort would try to go after first.”  
“Do we have a specific target yet?”  
“No. Tonight, after acrobatics training, we will decide which target we could best defend from Voldemort.” She looked at Lily. “This would not be like fighting normal witches and wizards. If any one of them so much as scratches us, they give us a lifelong disease. Therefore, I know you dislike attacking others, but it may be necessary to use stronger force than is customary.”  
“Of course. So, when is yoga?”  
Marlene rolled her eyes. “Acrobatics.”  
“So, going with Mad-Eye’s terminology?”  
“Remember? He said he wouldn’t go if we called it yoga.”  
Lily smiled. “I do. So, when is acrobatics?”  
“Seven. It’ll be in here — only room big enough.”  
“So at like eight, we’ll all stay to plan this thing?”  
“Right.”  
“Okay. Are there any, you know, papers to organise?”  
“Only always.” Lily and Marlene walked to the study, where there were papers all over the desk and in the filing cabinets. “Have fun.”  
The next morning, Lily checked to see whether the test subjects had written a reply. There was one letter there, but it was asking for the Department of Mysteries not to become involved in their case. “Right, that’s typical,” Rookwood said. “You put your name on a list because of an idea you have one day, and then when there is no response for many months, you lose interest and eventually forget all about your idea. Well, nothing we can do about that. We will just find more willing participants from the list. Now, Althea Simmons and Margaret Barnaby.”  
“How old are they? The Department specifications say that we should not use participants over the age of 60 or, of course, under 17.”  
“42 and 34. They should work nicely. If, of course, they are willing to help us with the experiment.”  
It seemed an entire week later when they made their way to Ms. Barnaby’s house. Margaret answered the door. “Hello, I am Margaret Barnaby, and you are….”  
“Ms. Barnaby, I am Unspeakable Augustus Rookwood, and this is Pre-Unspeakable Lily Evans. We are here with the Department of Mysteries.”  
Ms. Barnaby motioned to the woman sitting on the sofa, who got up and walked forward to join her. “This is Althea Simmons. I am a witch and she is a Muggle.”  
Lily asked, “Ms. Simmons, do you know who we are?”  
“Yes. Margaret told me. You come from the Ministry of Magic to study our case, right?”  
“Yes, we do. Now, I just need to ask a few questions before we begin.” He cleared his throat. “Ms. Barnaby, you are here for a transfer of your magic to Ms. Simmons. Is this of your own free will?”  
“Yes, it is.”  
“Ms. Simmons, you are here to receive and then return magical power to Ms. Barnaby. Is this of your own free will?”  
“Yes, it is.”  
“Do you have any intentions of harming any individuals, animals, or the environment through the spell you will be able to perform?”  
“No, I do not.”  
“Good. Now, please allow me to clarify. This is not a common occurrence. Therefore, while we have studied extensively the conditions under which the transfer has taken place in the past, we can in no way guarantee the results of today’s procedure. It is possible that the transfer does not work at all, to begin with. Also, there has in the past been one case in which the power was never returned. In that case, you, Ms. Barnaby, would have to live as a Squib or Muggle, and you, Ms. Simmons, would have to live as a witch, untrained in magic. Finally, it is also possible that some unknowable circumstances are the results of this endeavour. Is that acceptable?”  
“Yes, sir.”  
“Ms. Simmons?”  
“Yes, sir.”  
“All right.” Rookwood moved a few steps back. “Ms. Simmons, we would like to verify a theory. We are not sure whether Muggles may initiate the transfer, so if you would, please.”  
“Certainly. What should I do?”  
“You will need to stand close to Ms. Barnaby, but not touching her. Then, you will need to utter the words ‘I expect a transfer.’ You should feel the transfer working if it does.”  
“Right.” Ms. Simmons moved and crouched down. “I expect a transfer.”  
They stood like that for several minutes. Ms. Simmons straightened after a half hour had passed. “So, what went wrong?” she asked.  
Lily smiled and shook her head. “Nothing,” she said. “This was exactly what we expected would happen. It takes a certain amount of magic to initiate the spell, and as you, ma’am, are a Muggle, there was not enough magic to initiate it properly.  
“No, we had best now try the transfer again, this time with the same words, but spoken by Ms. Barnaby.”  
Ms. Barnaby nodded and crouched down as Ms. Simmons had done. “I expect a transfer,” she said. Almost instantly, Ms. Simmons gasped. “I feel it!” She stood and closed her eyes for half a minute, then opened them again and spoke to Rookwood. “So, sir, should I cast my spell now?”  
“Yes. Do you know how to do it? Which spell do you plan to use?”  
“Just a warming spell. And yes, Margaret showed me all of the mechanisms for the spell. It is a simple one, she said, that does not require the use of a wand.”  
“No, it does not.” Rookwood extended his arms. “Very well, then. Please proceed whenever you feel ready to do so. Miss Evans and I stand ready to assist you in any way necessary.”  
Ms. Simmons clasped her hands to her head and muttered, “Warm.” Soon after she shrieked, “It’s working!” A few seconds later, she clenched her hands as the power returned to Ms. Barnaby.  
Rookwood turned to Lily and added, “Time delay of 10 minutes between the transfer of power and the return.”  
“It is wonderful to see that this transfer worked so well!” Lily said. “Two Unspeakables will visit you in a week’s time to check whether either of you has suffered any damage or other effects as a result of today’s procedure. Ms. Barnaby,” the woman nodded, “you will receive a note by owl to see if the appointment time works for you both. Ms. Simmons, as a Muggle, your body is not accustomed to receiving and using magic. Therefore, it is likely that you will experience physical tiredness for several hours. The best course of action with that would be to rest in bed, and to take plenty of fluids.”  
“Thank you,” Ms. Simmons said.  
“Ms. Barnaby, are you experiencing any physical difficulties now?”  
“No.”  
“Thank you both for meeting us and for aiding our curiosity.”  
When they returned to the Department of Mysteries, Lily wrote a summary of the results to include in the report.   
Rookwood came up to her. “Any other questions?”  
“About such a huge topic? Yeah,” Lily said. “What is the longest you can wait to fulfil a power transfer?”  
“The shortest wait time is 23 seconds, and the longest on record is 92 minutes.” He looked at Lily. “Want to see if we can make it even longer?” He handed her the list once more.  
The next day, Rookwood and Lily made their way to see Mr. Neal Evans and Mr. Brian Fischer. “Hello,” Rookwood said. “Mr. Fischer and Mr. Evans, I am Unspeakable Augustus Rookwood, and this is Pre-Unspeakable Lily Evans. We are here with the Department of Mysteries.”  
“Yes,” Mr. Fischer said. “We have been expecting you. I am Brian Fischer, a wizard, and Neal Evans here is a Muggle.”  
“Have you explained the Ministry of Magic to Mr. Evans?”  
“No, I have not.”  
Lily motioned to the couch. “Mr. Evans, come sit down with me.” He did so, and Lily cleared her throat. “Mr. Rookwood and I are here from the Department of Mysteries, part of the Ministry of Magic. The Ministry of Magic is a government that protects the wizarding population of Britain. As part of the Ministry, we serve to study questions such as these, so that we can provide the people with as much information as possible. Does that make sense?”  
“So you protect just the wizards? What if something goes wrong here?”  
“Mr. Rookwood and I are here to fix anything that should go wrong. If you need medical attention, we will call Healers as well.” Lily looked straight at him. “Please do not worry. You are doing a great thing in helping us here, and we will not forget it or you.”  
Rookwood stepped forward. “Now, I just need to ask a few questions before we begin.” He cleared his throat. “Mr. Fischer, you are here for a transfer of your magic to Mr. Evans. Is this of your own free will?”  
“Yes, it is.”  
“Mr. Evans, you are here to receive and then return magical power to Mr. Fischer. Is this of your own free will?”  
“Yes, it is.”  
“Do you have any intentions of harming any individuals, animals, or the environment through the spell you will be able to perform?”  
“No, I do not.”  
“Good. Now, please allow me to clarify. This is not a common occurrence. Therefore, while we have studied extensively the conditions under which the transfer has taken place in the past, we can in no way guarantee the results of today’s procedure. It is possible that the transfer does not work at all, to begin with. Also, there has in the past been one case in which the power was never returned. In that case, you, Mr. Fischer, would have to live as a Squib or Muggle, and you, Mr. Evans, would have to live as a wizard, untrained in magic. Finally, it is also possible that some unknowable circumstances are the results of this endeavour. Is that acceptable?”  
“Yes, sir.”  
“Mr. Evans?”  
“Yes, sir.”  
“Very well. I hope the two of you realise that the reason Ms. Evans and I are here is to test an aspect of the transfer of power.”  
“Yes. That is why we signed up, to be part of that test.”  
“Good. The aspect we are testing today is the time elapsed between the transfer and the return of the magical power.”  
Mr. Fischer seemed slightly confused. “Yes, that’s fine, but how would we do that?”  
“First, we transfer the power. Next, we go to lunch at a pub. When we come back, Mr. Evans tries his spell, and the transfer ends — or does not. Finally, we will send a pair of Unspeakables here in the next week to check on any aftereffects.”  
“All right. Then, I transfer my magic.”  
Lily asked, “Mr. Evans, can you feel the transfer taking place?”  
“Yes, I can. Hey, is this what having magic feels like?”  
Mr. Fischer smiled. “Yeah.”  
“Then let’s go to lunch!” Rookwood said. “There’s a pub right down the street. Would that work?”  
All four of them ordered fish and chips. “So,” Rookwood asked, “how did you two get so interested in the transfer of magic?”  
“It started when we met,” Mr. Evans said. “I married his sister, so a year after marriage, she told me that they both were magical. My interest in it all grew from there. I asked Brian what it was like, but he never answered me. So from then, I concluded that magic is something so fundamental, so powerful, that no one could explain it to another. I would have to experience it for myself, to understand what my wife was going through. So I found a way.”  
Rookwood laid a few Galleons on the table. “No,” he said to Mr. Fischer. “The Department is paying for this one. Don’t worry.”  
He got up. “So, how long has it been? A couple of hours?”  
Mr. Evans nodded. They walked back to the house. “What spell do you want to do?”  
“I want to do one of the first ones my wife learned in school” He pointed to a piece of paper and raised Mr. Fischer’s wand. “Wingardium leviosa.”  
The paper rose a few inches and floated on the air for a few minutes before the return of power. “Time elapsed: 150 minutes.”  
Rookwood and Lily returned to the office. “Right. Well, that was the fun part of these exercises. Now for the report.”  
Lily wrote a page on each of the cases they had just studied. “Where does the file go now?” she asked Rookwood. “Well, in the same place where we found it.”  
“Then how can anyone tell we studied it?”  
“They can’t. That is the purpose of Unspeakables: that we should be the invisible part of the Ministry, that we sometimes yield results but remain alone when we cannot.”  
Lily looked up from her desk. “Do you think anyone will read these files?”  
Rookwood tapped the folder. “I don’t know. You’re reading it now, aren’t you?”

After the summer, Lily felt increasingly lonely what with Lupita’s return to Spain and Mudhi’s move to Holyhead to play with the Harpies. The only friends in town were Remus, Peter, and - Lily supposed - Sirius. “So,” she said after supper, “I invited Remus, Peter, and Sirius over for dinner tomorrow.”  
“That sounds good!” James said. His eyes narrowed. “Why?”  
“Why? I can invite friends over for dinner, can’t I?”  
“Well, yeah. But they’ve never really been friends of yours.”  
“So now they should be.”  
James began to smile. “Oh. You’re lonely, aren’t you? Mudhi and Lupita moved away — and you need new friends.” He cleared his throat. “You’re not still mad at Sirius, are you?”  
“Well, Peter at least I can befriend.” Lily added, “And I think Sirius might deserve a second chance. I’ll get to know him and see how everything goes.”  
The next night, Lily made sure that Elly made enough food for everyone, several times over. They showed up promptly, and headed to the kitchen before Lily even had a chance to greet them. After ten minutes of silent eating, Lily looked up.  
“So it comes to my mind that the five of us never really connected,” she said. “And I would really like to get to know you better.”  
Peter cleared his throat. “My name is Peter Pettigrew,” he said. Lily laughed. “I know that, at least! But - what is your favourite food?”  
“Hmmm,” he said. “I think I would have to say that it is — mashed potatoes.”  
Not only Lily, but also James looked at him in amazement. “Mashed potatoes? No meat?”  
Sirius stretched. “Meat he leaves to me,” he said. “A good meat pie.”  
“And you know mine, right?” asked Remus.  
“Of course!” said Lily. She pointed to the fish and chips on the table. “What do you think this is for?”  
“So,” Peter asked, “what is yours?”  
Lily smiled. “Our cook made the best ever Welsh Rabbit.”  
“And what is that?”  
“Oh, it doesn’t really have any rabbit in it.” Lily laughed. “I don’t know where the name comes from. Really. But you make it with egg and beer and cheese. You spread it on toast.”  
“That sounds great!” Sirius said. Lily looked at James’ face as she said, “Yes, it is.”  
“But everyone tuck in to the nice rice pudding!” said James.  
Sirius took the momentous first bite, and all the other Marauders - and Lily - followed suit almost instantaneously. Remus, though, looked up from his rice pudding questioningly, and Lily could tell he was wondering the same thing she was.  
“So is Lily a Marauder now?”  
“Do you want to be?” James asked, nodding his head ever so slightly.  
Lily laughed. “Sure, I guess.”  
“Well, it’s official then!”  
Remus leaned in. “Lily, if you’re a Marauder now, there is something you must know.”  
Peter said, “We are all-"  
“Except me,” Remus added.  
“Except him, we are all Animagi.”  
Lily looked at James. “What, like you?”  
“Yeah, like me.” He ticked them off on his fingers. “Sirius is a dog. Peter is a rat.”  
“But then you would have done this — oh.” Remus nodded. “To help Remus at the full moon.”  
“They did.” He cleared his throat. “They do.”  
“After we found out, we read somewhere that it helped to have animal companions during transformation. So we found a way to be that for him.”  
Lily leaned forward. “So that was why you were always so adamant in your friendship?”  
“Well, they are good friends too. But yes, I could never see them put down after they did so much for me.”  
Lily nodded. “Wow,” she said. “So what do you think I will become?”  
Remus laughed but shook his head. “No, Lily,” he said. “This is not the right path for you. You help me - by being yourself, like you have done.”  
Lily shook her head. “No, I can do this, you know.”  
“Yes, of course I do. But they help me that way; you help me another way.”  
Lily rolled her eyes but nodded.

The Order eventually decided that it should focus first on the werewolf colony in York, where the Death Eaters had already begun their recruitment. One week later, then, they all Flooed to the house of a friend in York, and from there they Apparated to the colony’s headquarters. There was only one person there, a man with long brown hair. “You shouldn’t disturb the others,” he said.  
The Prewetts smiled. “We just want to talk to them,” Fabian said. “Is there a place we can wait to see them?”  
“No,” the man said abruptly. “Leave now, please.”  
Lily shook her head and whispered to James, “They don’t trust us.” He nodded.  
Dearborn stepped forward. “We have some information your leader should know.”  
Another, taller man approached the group. “You might,” he said. “But showing up in such numbers hardly shows us that your methods are peaceful.”  
“They are,” Dearborn said.  
The man spread his arms. “I will tell him. Please wait here.” After a few minutes, he returned. “He cannot talk right now. You can leave by the same way you entered.”  
The Order shuffled back along the corridor, but Fabian pointed to a corridor leading sideways. “Listen,” he said. “Don’t you hear the voices?” He started down the passageway, and the rest of the Order followed silently.  
After just a few feet, Fabian pushed open a door to reveal several wizards conversing with a few underfed individuals that Lily supposed were the werewolves. She squeezed Remus’ hand as she saw several children playing. And the others — were they Death Eaters? They seemed — nice. “As nice as Bellatrix had seemed at first,” she whispered.  
A door at the far end of the room opened, and a tall man entered. Lily swallowed and exchanged glances with James. There was no mistaking who this new wizard was. Lord Voldemort raised his head. “So you see,” he said, “all this we can offer you.”  
One of the werewolves raised his head. “Yes,” he said. “The Ministry of Magic looks down on us, always, always. But you do not.”  
“No, I do not. You see, I speak to you myself. I do not send others, as they do in the Ministry. All I would wish is your loyalty.”  
“Now?” James asked. Fabian whispered, “Not yet.”  
But Lord Voldemort heard them and said to the room, “Your first trial is already at hand. Look behind that table.”  
The group of werewolves craned their heads but did not move, until one young wizard began to run to the table. The Order rose to fight back, but Lily stayed back. She had never been one to begin the fight, and how could her first attack be against one so like her friend? It was not long, though, until she was attacked. By a curse, she dimly registered. From a Death Eater. Now her situation was one of self-defence — and she could do that, for sure. She joined the row of wizards casting binding charms on the Death Eaters and werewolves.  
A few of the werewolves, realising that they were being set upon by wizards with wands, began to fight all the more angrily. But it did not take long to subdue them as well. Voldemort and the remaining Death Eaters Disapparated from the scene, and Lily and the other Order members did as well, after making sure the werewolves would be able to escape from their bonds.

Lily had just come home from work when, unexpectedly, the fire began to sputter. Lily peered at the face appearing in the flames. It was Petunia’s.  
“Hello!” she said.  
“Hello, Lily,” Petunia said.  
“So - what’s up?”  
Petunia sighed. “We have to take all our stuff out of Plas Newydd since we’re both of age now.”  
“I was last year, you know.”  
“Yes, I know you think you were.” Petunia wiped her eyes. “But let’s not get into that now. However much I think you live in a fantasy where everything is perfect, Mam and Da wouldn’t want-"  
“Perfect?” asked Lily. “Perfect? You know there is a war I’m fighting here.”  
“Yeah, you’re this great warrior, and you have your - James, and your job, and — and -“  
“Right. But I’m not the one who left our parents behind, who pretended she never spoke Welsh, all in pursuit of her perfection!”   
“You left as much as I did — if not more.”  
Lily blinked, then said, “Wait. I really wanted to talk to you, have been trying and trying — you know.” Petunia sniffed. “Yes, you do. All of my letters got to you - I know they did. So when you wanted to talk now - I thought something had changed. But it never will, will it? You’re just talking to me because you have to.”  
“No,” Petunia said slowly. “I was hoping-"  
“So you make up by insulting me?”  
“Well.” Petunia faced Lily as much as she could. “I am sorry, Lily, for the things I said to you. I should not have said them.”  
Lily sighed. “No, you should not have. But you are my sister, and I-"  
“Because however true I still consider them”  
“Wait. You are telling me that you — that you think I killed our parents? I thought you were just mad at me. You really thought that? And nothing can change your mind?”  
“Well, …yeah.”  
Tears began to fall on the carpet. “But, why?”  
Petunia closed her eyes for a moment. “Look, Lily, you are in a war. A war that, as you said, targets our kind of family. There were other attacks like this; you warned us about them.”  
“But they were investigated. This was a nonmagical death.”  
“Sure, you say that. But this enemy of yours-"  
“Lord Voldemort. ”  
“Yeah, whoever, he can make deaths appear as other than what they are. Can he not?”  
Lily opened her mouth, but no words came out. Petunia went on. “Look, I don’t want you to be unhappy like this, but you have to know what happened.”  
There was the sound of heavy footsteps behind the fire. Lily looked around wildly before discovering that she must have been hearing noise from Petunia’s house. “Hello, Vernon,” Petunia said.  
“Petunia? What are you doing? I thought you were finished with this magic nonsense!”  
Petunia looked around. “Lily, I have to go.”   
Lily tilted her head. “Petunia. Are you all right?” Her head disappeared from the fireplace just as James came in from the kitchen. “Lily? Who was that?” He frowned. “Are you crying?”  
“James,” Lily said, “I think Petunia is in trouble.”  
“Well, it’s no less than she deserves.” Lily began to cry again. “No, really! But tell me, what is it?”  
“It’s Vernon. She has her troubles, I know, but she’s always been able to get around them. But he just — just fills her head with such disdain, and — and that’s not all.”  
“Not all? What else?”  
“She still thinks that - I killed our parents. I think Vernon encourages her in that.”  
“She still thinks that? Really? After so long?”  
“It hasn’t been that long. It hasn’t even been a year.”  
“But Vernon too?”  
Lily sighed. “Petunia was too mad when she was telling him all about me. It’s not her fault.”  
“Well, it’s not yours!” James declared.  
Lily rolled her eyes. “You didn’t exactly help when you met Vernon, either. And now he associates me with you.”  
“As he should.”  
“True. But please understand. This is my sister that I have known eighteen years, the one I worshipped when I was young. So it does matter to me what she thinks, and her husband too. Okay?”  
“Okay. I don’t think you should talk to her now, though.” Lily opened her mouth. “No - give her and Vernon some time to cool down. A few months. Then you can talk again.” He paused. “You should go back to Plas Newydd, though. Get your things.”  
James knocked firmly on the door, and Mr. Davies brightened when he say Lily. “Arglwyddes Rhiannon! Come in, come in!”  
Lily went up to her room, Aunt Eira’s room, and began packing her things into a crate. When she got to her telephone, she sighed and picked it up.  
“Lily? Are you there?” her uncle called. Lily went down to meet him in the music room.  
“Hello, Uncle John,” she said. “Thank you for coming.”  
“Of course I came,” he said. “How are you?”  
“You know why I called you here.”  
“Yes, I think I do.” He shook his head. “It is noble of you to do this, but it all has changed now.” He touched her shoulder. “Your father never filed the inheritance paperwork with London, you know. I think he was always hoping you would go back.”  
Lily nodded and pulled her shawl around her. “Yes, I know that. But I live in London now.”  
He held up her mother’s tiara. “Are you sure? Shouldn’t it be you who inherits?”  
“Uncle John, I cannot live in this house anymore.” She straightened. “My parents knew that, and they knew I would not change my mind. You must do it for me.”   
He nodded. “All right.”  
“Anyway, I should be gone shortly. You should tell the maids to box up my things and Petunia’s as well, so that you can all move in.”  
Lily walked to the station and took a train back to London. Somehow it did not seem right to leave Plas Newydd with magic. It was already dark when she opened the door of her (the Potters’) home, and found James waiting in the hall.  
Lily tried her best to keep a straight face, but she could not keep a small smile from escaping. “James. Have you been waiting for me?”  
James nodded. “Of course. I knew this was hard for you. And I -“  
“And you thought I might stay?”  
“I knew your uncle would let you inherit. And I know you have missed it, really.”  
Lily grimaced. “I have. That is true.” She shrugged her shoulders and added, “But I don’t belong there, not anymore. I belong here. With you.”  
James smiled. “Good, then.”

“Lily, will you marry me?”  
“I’m sorry. What did you say?”  
“Will. You. Marry. Me?”  
James leaned closer to Lily’s face. The group, even though they were banished to the next tree over, laughed.  
Lily asked, “What do you think?”  
A look of confusion spread across James’ face. “What do you mean? It’s your decision, not mine. That’s why I asked you!”  
“Yes, and I certainly am glad you did not want to marry me against my will.” Lily rolled her eyes. “But that’s not what I’m asking. Do you think our marriage would do well? You must have some idea about that, surely.”  
“Well, I love you and you love me.”  
“True. But - the war….”  
“And how does that change anything? If anything, it means we should get married now, before we’re dead.”  
Lily raised her eyebrows. “Not the most romantic proposal, I must say.” She smiled. “But one I say a wholehearted yes to.”  
Sirius, Remus, and Peter all cheered and ran over to hug them both.  
“I’ll make arrangements at Plas Newydd,” Lily said. “November? Too soon?”  
“Right, because I asked you to get married because I wasn’t ready.” James shook his head. “November sounds great.” He nodded at his friends. “Can you all be my groomsmen?”  
“Of course!” said Sirius.   
“And what about you, Lily? Who will be your bridesmaids?”  
“I was thinking of Mudhi, Starhi and Lupita.” She looked down. “And Petunia.”  
“I’ll write to her too,” Remus said seriously.   
“Shouldn’t I?” asked James.   
“Come on! You cannot stand her or her husband.” Lily smiled. “Not that I can really blame you for that last one.” She thought about their last Floo meeting, and how badly that had gone wrong. “Or should I meet her in person? Yes, I think I will.”  
Lily knocked on the door at Privet Drive. “Hello?” asked Petunia. Lily noticed the redness of her eyes. “Come in, Lily.” She said. “Vernon will come home for lunch soon.”  
“I wanted to tell you, Petunia,” Lily said, raising her left hand, “that I am getting married in two months.”  
“And?”  
“And,” Lily said, pretending she was not hurt by Petunia’s standoffishness, “I would like you to be my maid of honour.”  
“You see, Lily, the trouble is, it’s with James.”  
“And Vernon doesn’t like him. Or me.”  
“Well, it’s not all his fault. Don’t just blame him.”  
Lily sighed. “I know. But-"  
“Remember, that when I talked to him before, I was angry. And he never sees you — he never has a chance to see that you are still a good person, that James is.”  
“But you believe that, right?”  
“Lily, I do. I always did. I know you know that. I just-"  
“You just wanted me with you.”  
“Yes. Like you always were. I missed that. I missed you.”  
Lily looked up with moist eyes. “Petunia, now that we’re both in London, I can come over more.”  
Petunia shook her head. “If Vernon sees you here, he will be angry.”  
Lily looked around the house for signs that something had gone wrong. “Petunia. Is Vernon good to you?”  
“He is. He has this one thing. It is a fault, I know, but who doesn’t have faults? And he is so good to me, every day. I do not have one complaint. And we can still talk. Do you remember the thing in the fireplace in Plas Newydd?”  
“The Floo Network? Sure, I can have one installed here.”  
Petunia looked up the driveway. “There is Vernon’s car. Lily, can you do that one Apparating thing from the backyard?”  
“Of course, Petunia. But you’ll talk to him about the wedding, right?”  
“I will.”  
“It’ll be soon, next month, in Plas Newydd.”  
“And who’s going to give you away?”  
“Grandfather will. He already agreed to.” Lily looked to see Vernon unlocking the door. “Bye, Petunia!”  
“Bye!”  
The wedding was, on the whole, not the most formal one Plas Newydd had ever seen. After endless discussion between the two of them and Mr. and Mrs. Potter, Mrs. Potter pointed out to Lily that there were no real and lasting differences between a Muggle wedding and a wizarding one. Therefore, it was held in the Llanfair church. Lily wore a lacy white dress as she exchanged vows with James.   
After it was over, James helped Lily carry all of her things out of the house. She was not the only one to move all of her belongings; Remus also insisted on moving. James and Lily both protested.  
“But Remus, where will you go?”  
He shrugged. “Back home, I guess.”  
Lily reached out a hand to catch the vase James knocked over as he waved his hands. “But, Remus,” he said. “The Order needs you here. We need you here.”  
Lily nodded. “We’ve lived well together so far. Why not anymore? You don’t want to live around a married couple, is that it?”  
He fidgeted in his seat. “No, that’s not it. You see….”  
Lily grabbed his hand. “We might have a child,” she said softly. “Is that it?”  
Remus nodded. Lily looked at James, and he nodded too. “Then can you look for a house to rent in London?” He saw Remus open his mouth to argue. “No, I will pay the rent. Just for a few years. Consider it funds from the Order.”  
Remus shot James a murderous look. James added, “Look, I have money, plenty of it. Consider it a loan.”  
Lily said, “Once you are a Hogwarts professor, you can pay us back.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

A tawny owl soared into the kitchen and dropped a letter into Lily’s lap. She rapidly opened the envelope, her eyes moving quickly to the signature at the bottom. Once she reached it, she let out a low gasp, as she looked quickly around the room. Once she saw that she was alone, she bent back over the parchment. 

Dear Lily,   
I know that you will want to hide this letter from Potter. But believe it or not, I wish to see you both. I realise that you might be hesitant to see me after all this time, and your husband will show no less reluctance. However, there is much that we should discuss, and I have some information that will interest you. I hope that you and Potter will meet me at the Hog’s Head on Saturday next at 2:30 pm. Please send a reply with this owl.   
Hoping to see you soon,   
Severus Snape 

Lily knew that after waiting so long for her oldest friend to come around, there was no way she could turn her back on him now, not when he reached out to her now. And a quick talk with James confirmed that her husband would certainly not leave her alone to meet his worst enemy, even if he was her best friend in all the world. There was no choice, then, but for them both to go to Severus’ meeting. Lily wrote a hasty reply and gave it to the tawny owl, who hooted once and then swept away.   
A few days later, Lily and James put on travelling cloaks and in the blink of an eye had Apparated to Hogsmeade’s village square. They walked to the Hog’s Head and sat at a table. Lily strode briskly to the bar and ordered a firewhisky. Once she had carried it back to the table, she explained to James, “I just feel a bit nervous is all. I think I might need a bit of a strong drink.” With a wry expression on her face, she added, “I think you might need one, too.”   
James nodded and stood to go over to the bar. Before he took more than a couple steps, however, the bell jingled as Severus Snape walked through the door. Lily swallowed a lump in her throat and reached for her drink.   
“So,” Severus sneered, “Mr. Potter.” His eyes softened as he added, “Mrs. Potter. I think we should move to a room where we can talk at length.”   
Lily and James followed Severus to one of the back rooms, where he closed the door and cast his ‘Muffliato’ charm. Then he continued to speak.   
“The chief of my enterprise would like to meet you. I think you will be interested to hear what he has to say.”   
“So what — all this secrecy, but no information?” James asked angrily. “Sorry, Snivelly, but we’ll be going now. Goodbye.”   
But Lily clutched his arm and shook her head. “No, James. We agreed to this meeting. I think we should listen at least.”   
As James nodded and sat back down, a tall, dark-haired man walked in the room. James stood up again, ready to leave, and Lily moved to do the same, but Severus motioned to her to remain seated, as he whispered, “It’s all right. He won’t hurt you.”   
“Good afternoon, Mr. Potter, Mrs. Potter,” said Voldemort. “I trust you already know who I am and why I am here.” He steepled his fingers and looked across the table expectantly.   
After a long pause, James offered, “Because you want us to join you.” He added defiantly, “But we won’t.”   
“That is unfortunate, really, that you say that,” Voldemort said smoothly, “as you are of esteemed Pureblood descent. Your entrance into the Death Eater ranks, therefore, will be much simpler than that of the lovely Mrs. Potter.”   
Curiosity began to eat away at Lily as she asked, “But you know about my family? Then, why would you want me to join?”   
Voldemort looked directly at her for a moment, until her head began to ache. Then he turned and said, “Severus.”   
“Yes, my Lord?” Severus asked.   
Voldemort continued, almost conversationally. “I really must congratulate Mrs. Potter. She has done so much to help me.”   
“You liar!” James almost shouted. “She’s done nothing to help you — just the opposite, in fact!”   
Voldemort smiled in a way that made Lily shudder and reach for her firewhisky. “An admirable trait, Mr. Potter, this defence of your wife, but one that, lamentably, is ultimately flawed.” He looked at Severus and pressed on. “One of my greatest followers — “   
“Thank you, my Lord,” broke in Severus.   
Voldemort turned his attention to Lily. She faltered slightly, but then rallied enough to return his unwavering gaze.   
“This man who, as I said, has done much for me,” Voldemort continued, “only became my follower fully after he lost his last friend unattached to the Dark Arts. That was you, Mrs. Potter, was it not?”   
Lily replied in a flat voice, “Yes. I did that.”   
“Then,” said Voldemort, “you recognise your tremendous role in the advancement of the Dark Arts. Severus’ work at Hogwarts was admittedly great, and his work with you was as well. But once he gained a bit of confidence and power — well, his work shows great improvement, and there is much potential for the future.”   
He looked calmly across at Lily. She was, for the moment, reminded bizarrely of a parent-teacher meeting. After a few seconds, when she finally had the courage to speak, Severus opened his mouth instead.   
“My Lord, I think Mrs. Potter might prefer — “   
“No,” said Voldemort, glaring at Severus until he bent his head.   
“No, I think Mrs. Potter,” Voldemort paused, “would prefer to consider her past. After all, without our past, we are nothing. Our past shapes our present.”   
Lily blinked. “That is all true. This is nothing I haven’t thought about before, however, quite a lot, in fact.”   
“Yes, I’m sure you have,” said Voldemort. He then turned his attention to James. “Now, Mr. Potter, for you, as I said, the transition will be much more easily done. You do not have the regrettable Muggle heritage of Mrs. Potter. In fact, your bloodline is pure almost as far back as mine.”   
“Is that so?” James shot back. “And I suppose you’re not really a halfblood?”   
Voldemort nodded. “Touché,” he said. “Although, I must say, you are making an excellent start, arguing about blood status superiority. Your friendships also speak highly of you.”   
James glared at Severus.   
“Yes,” admitted Voldemort, “it is true that you have a — less than happy — relationship with Severus here. However, I was referring to your enduring friendship with the werewolf, which is much more promising.”   
“Remus,” said James, his hackles rising, “is a human, nothing more.”   
Voldemort replied, “Once more, admirable, your staunch protectiveness. However, it is questionable whether Mr. Lupin would extend the same friendship to you.” He looked at Severus. “If I am not much mistaken, there indeed was an attachment between Mr. Lupin and Mrs. Potter in school.”   
James answered, slightly out of desperation. “There was that one time that we all teased Remus for liking her. But that was nothing, and that was the end of that.”   
Severus began to speak then. “Well, was that in fifth year?” He paused. “It wasn’t? It was in second? It may then interest you, Potter, to know that Lupin had feelings for her in fifth year as well, and that those feelings were not unrequited. That was one of the last things Mrs. Potter,” he paused, eyes glittering, “told me. Although she didn’t have to; I could see it for myself.” He looked at Lily as he added, “I would never betray a confidence.”   
James made no reply, but Lily could tell from his face that the interview was over, and that it was time to regroup. Feeling incapable of selecting exactly the right words, Lily motioned to Severus, who said, “My Lord, I believe the Potters have heard your generous offers well. Perhaps they shall require a few days to consider the offers’ various merits.”   
Voldemort nodded. “Very well,” he said. He stood. “Mr. Potter, Mrs. Potter, my thanks for this meeting. I will arrange for another, in two days’ time, for you to offer your decisions.”   
He turned and walked out of the room, Severus behind him. James and Lily soon trudged in silence to the town’s central Apparition point, where they quickly returned home. James headed directly up the stairs, but Lily stayed in the kitchen, heating water for tea and trying not to think. It was not until she sat down with the mug in her hand that the words of Voldemort began to form in her mind.   
“This man who, as I said, has done much for me, only became my follower fully after he lost his last friend unattached to the Dark Arts. That was you, Mrs. Potter, was it not?”   
Oh, yes, it was. Lily could argue until her face turned blue that she had been insulted, that she had been angry and even afraid, that she had known for months that it would come to that….   
But none of that mattered now, did it? For whatever reason the events may have been necessary or whatever, she had done what she had done, and now the consequences were hers to live with. And they had led, in such a plain way, such a set path, to the current horrors. How had she ever thought that anything else would result?   
“Then you recognise your tremendous role in the advancement of the Dark Arts.”   
Severus was a gifted wizard; he always had been. And he had always leaned toward the Dark Arts, in both study and practise. But – he had been leaning away from the Dark Arts at Lily’s urging. With a few more years of hard work, would he have joined the Order instead? Would each potion, each spell, have been for the side of the light rather than against?   
And what did that say of Lily, that she gave up when it was hardest? Dumbledore always mentioned the choice between the right path and the easy one. So, if Lily had chosen what came more easily to her, that had been her first step down the wrong path. And the first step was always the largest, the most intense. So if she had already taken that monumental first step, why couldn’t she do it again?   
Lily’s train of thought came to a screeching halt as James came in. She remembered her tragic love affair with Remus as James sat down slowly.   
Lily turned to him and asked, “So, everything okay?”   
But James turned away from her, so Lily, feeling not a little hurt, left the room and headed to the bedroom, contemplating what she hadn’t before, that her past failings had not only created consequences for her. Once she reached the bed, Lily curled up on it and lay there for what felt like hours, until she drifted into dreams in which her Modryb Eira reminded her that she had harmed everyone everywhere, both in her old home and in her new one, and that she would carry the memories of her past wrongs forever….   
As Sirius, Remus, and Peter were still busy with their work for the Order, Sunday passed in a hazy blur, and the next thing Lily knew, she was back at work with her coworker Augustus Rookwood.   
They left the dark room together, and he said, “Goodness, that was some strong magic, wasn’t it? And facing it together gave us more power still. I think my head’s still spinning a little. Just think, then, what a few powerful friends could do with all that power….” And he vanished, leaving Lily alone with her thoughts.   
She could work with Severus again, her dearest friend, her Sev. Her quality of magic certainly had suffered a bit for their fight. Was it time to work together again? Did it even matter on which side? The Dark Arts offered just as much power to work with as the Department of Mysteries, certainly much more than they had had in school. Just think-   
Lily shook her head. She needed to go home, now. This solitary thought was no good for her mental well-being. So she took a lunch break, and she went home to prepare for her meeting. When she got there, she saw James standing in the front lawn, and she heard another internal voice enter her head.   
No, it said. All of these reasons are just rationalisations. You want to make such a massive, fundamental change — and for what? For the past?   
Because I can never fix my mistakes.   
Yes, you made a mistake. But you cannot fix a past wrong by committing a present wrong. You know that; the past will always be there, but it does not limit present choices. So you may feel bad about it, sure, but you know what you’ve got to do.   
Lily walked up to James and took his hands in hers. “James, I love you,” she said.   
He raised his head to face her. “I know you do,” he said.   
“So what do we do now?” Lily asked.   
“Well, Lily,” said James, “I think we have to say no.”   
“Yes, I think you’re right,” Lily said. Her voice to her sounded a little bit forced, but, she supposed, nothing that time wouldn’t heal.   
And on that somewhat comforting exchange, they Disapparated and reappeared in Hogsmeade once more. After a few steps, they reentered the Hog’s Head and met Severus, who led them to the same back room as before. Lily drew in a sharp breath as she saw Voldemort standing at the table, and she heard James do the same.   
Voldemort spread his arms. “Welcome back, Mr. Potter, Mrs. Potter. So, you have had time to consider my offer?”   
James glanced at Lily and then replied, “Yes, we have. But we have to decline.”   
“Both of you?” asked Severus, his eyes straying to Lily’s.   
Lily swallowed, and in a quiet but firm voice said, “Yes, both of us.”   
Voldemort’s demeanour changed instantly from the almost jovial mien he had displayed before. His eyes glowed scarlet in a horrifying way, and his mouth turned downward into a clearly unhappy grimace. “This news troubles me,” he said. “Surely you know the dangers I can inflict on — for example, your family? On your two parents, Mr. Potter?   
James blinked, but he kept his gaze steady. Seeing this, Voldemort turned to Lily. “And Mrs. Potter – “   
“My parents are already deceased,” said Lily. “They died in a traffic accident.”   
Voldemort nodded gravely. “Of course. Just as your Aunt Eira died in that train wreck.” Lily let out an involuntary gasp, and Voldemort continued. “You have a sister, Petunia, do you not?”   
“We – we have not spoken in a year,” protested Lily. “She disapproves of my life’s decisions.”  
“But your family has always been quite close, has it not? So, the moment you reach out to her — know that I will kill her, and then you,” he said.   
Lily quailed and nudged James, who said, “Well, we have given you our decisions. Good day, then.”   
A voice, Severus’ voice, began to speak in Lily’s head. It said, “Lily, take James and go, now. I will cover for you.”   
Lily squeezed James’ hand, and the two Disapparated. Just before she vanished, she caught a glimpse of Severus’ face. He looked so sad and alone….   
They reappeared in the Order headquarters, where everyone had just returned, and a huge party seemed to be underway. Noticing James’ and Lily’s worn expressions, Sirius called out, “Hey, what happened to you?”   
Everyone fell silent as James answered, “Voldemort tried to recruit us.”   
“And what did you say?” asked Sirius.   
“No, of course!” James called back. “What else?”   
The hubbub resumed, and people came over to congratulate Lily and James on their recent success. James was almost assaulted by Sirius’ bear hug. Of course, the first to approach Lily was Remus. Lily didn’t miss the way James’ gaze hardened over his friend’s shoulder.   
The glare faded after a few seconds, and one member after another pressed in on Lily and James, laughing about how they had defied Voldemort, how this would be talked about for years to come. And it was true; what needed to be done was done. Yet even as Dumbledore smiled at them, Lily couldn’t help but wonder whether maybe, just maybe, Voldemort had won this round. 

 

After a few minutes of congratulation and celebration, the party returned to its true purpose, praising the recent raid on the Rosier residence and the bravery of the Prewett brothers. Lily and James joined the others in raising their glasses to the two men. After the first few toasts, a great quantity of food appeared on the tables, only to disappear almost as quickly. Once the tables were once again bare, Fabian tapped the wireless and grabbed Dorcas to dance with him to the music filling the room. As soon as the wizards were too involved in dancing to notice, James nudged Lily and Disapparated. Lily felt both relief at leaving the party and apprehension at being alone with James, at beginning the discussions that had to come next. After a few moments’ contemplation, she settled on the concepts of deliberation and duty, and she turned on her heel and vanished.   
She reappeared next to James on the front lawn. James turned to look at her, but then a frown crossed his face. Lily looked around as he stormed into the house. Much to her amazement (and a little to her discontent), she saw Remus materialise just a few feet to her left.   
She strode over to him angrily and demanded, “Remus, what on earth brings you here?”   
Remus seemed a bit taken aback, but he replied, “You seemed a little down at the party, so I thought I’d come and cheer you up.” He paused for a moment, looking around. “But I see I may have come at a bad time.”   
Lily spread her arms. “Yes, Remus, I’m sorry, but it is. I’ll tell you all about it, just — not now. I need some time to think.”   
Remus nodded and blinked out of sight with a loud crack. The second he had gone, Lily sprinted into the house, where she found James seated on the couch. Lily sat beside him and looked up hesitantly, but James just looked in front of him, not blinking. After an agony of stony silence, Lily offered, “You know, we really have to talk about this sometime.”   
James kept staring before him. Lily paused then tried again.   
“You know, James, Remus was just there to see that we’re all right, that’s all.”   
Silence. After a few more minutes, she announced to the room, “Well, I’m off to bed.”   
Lily got up and trudged up the stairs and into the bedroom, where she flopped onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling.   
Why – why couldn’t she have a simple friendship? First Sev, now Remus – her two best friends. And after all, nothing had happened — and then she married James, meaning that nothing would happen in the future either. So why all the fuss? Why tell James? For a moment Lily was blindingly angry at Severus. Why had he told Voldemort her secret? Surely he had known such a powerful dark wizard would do nothing but lord the information over them. And the other part of it — was it true? Had Remus liked her back that year? There had been a few times, yes, when she had thought that perhaps he did. But no matter. She shook her head. That was all behind her now. All that was important from that past was how it had disturbed James. And if he could not speak of it, even to Lily, there was no hope it would ever be resolved. So what to do? Just hope for the best — and have less complicated friendships. Lily decided to write to Lupita in the morning.   
Noting that James had never come in, Lily rolled over and waited for sleep to claim her.   
Morning came, and Lily saw that she was still alone in the house. She made herself some tea and Flooed to work. The Department of Mysteries, at least, tended to make her day more interesting. The day’s assignment was to investigate the connection, for it seemed there was one, between a wizard’s mood and the quality of magic he produced. Lily tried hard not to focus on the recent conflict so as to perform proper research, and she studied the matter thoroughly until the chiming clock reminded her that it was long past time to go home. She sighed, wondering whether James would be there, then walked to the fireplaces and returned.   
James stood there, in front of the fireplace, smiling. Remus, Sirius, and Peter stood to one side, and Lily remembered with a start that it was her birthday. She quickly schooled her features into a more excited expression, and she Apparated with her friends to a nearby pub, where they were joined by Starhi, Mudhi, and Lupita.   
“So, Lily,” said Lupita as they all sat down, “how have you been? It feels like it’s been almost forever!”   
Lily smiled. “Indeed it does,” she said. “I was thinking of you just yesterday. How are you?”   
“Fine, thanks,” Lupita smiled. “But – you, Lily?”   
Lily laughed. “Yes, I’m doing quite well in my internship. Better, now that you have come today. So, how is life in Madrid?”   
Lupita’s eyes crinkled.”It’s great! I love my new job. But really, Lily,” she added more seriously, “I was always afraid of growing out of touch with my language and culture, of leaving Spain forever. It’s so good to help my country.”   
As the waiters brought out mugs of butterbeer, Lily ignored the fleeting worry about her own homeland, turning to chat with Mudhi and Starhi about their new Quidditch teams. Soon, sandwiches were brought out and devoured by the waiting throng, and then it was time for presents.   
Starhi, Mudhi, and Lupita pushed a large box to the table-front. “We all got this together,” they explained. “Go on — open it!”   
Lily opened the box to reveal a set of Holyhead Harpies photographs, pennants, and fan gear — a wonderful support of Lily’s favourite Quidditch team. From Peter she had a set of quills, ink, and parchment, and from Sirius, a book — of jokes, complete with a smiley face in the front cover. Lily reached next for Remus’ gift, but James pushed his box forward, where Lily found a Self-Warming Teacup.   
“For your office,” James said.   
“Great, thanks!” Lily said, and she moved on to the last gift, a blue cylinder. Inside was a set of flasks and beakers, with a note: “I know you’ve worn out your old set. So take these, and continue to be the greatest Potions Master the world has ever seen.”   
Lily could feel James look at her beaming face with displeasure, but, as good manners dictated, she thanked Remus just as she had thanked everyone else.   
Sirius raised his butterbeer and called out, “Well, Lil, here’s to another wonderful year!”   
After that toast, Lily raised her own glass and said, “And many thanks to my friends for all the support — and the presents!”   
Everyone laughed, and they began to leave, but Remus stayed back. He walked up to Lily and put his hand on her shoulder. “Lily,” he whispered. “I know there’s something wrong. Please tell me what it is, so I can fix it.”   
Lily placed her hand on the small of Remus’ back and guided him away from James’ increasingly murderous gaze. She replied, “It’s just that Voldemort unsettled me a little, I suppose. And it was hard for me to see Sev there at his right hand. Like it was my fault.” Yes, but that’s not the only problem, she thought.   
“But of course it wasn’t!” Remus exclaimed. “You know this – I explained it all to you before. But even though you were unsure, you still did what you needed to do — you still said no. That shows true courage, and I am so proud of you for it.”   
“Thank you,” Lily breathed in relief. “But doesn’t true courage mean I should acknowledge any guilt?”   
Remus sighed. “It would, if you had any. But it was not you. If Severus had had real courage, as you do, he would not have lost your friendship. And even if he did somehow, it would be difficult, sure, but not the end of the world.” He hugged Lily and said, “No, your friends know you love us, just as we love you. Don’t doubt that.”   
“Thank you, Remus, so much,” said Lily. “And thank you for the flasks. Sev helped me with those before. Now you do what he cannot.” She smiled. “You make sure I have all I need.”   
She turned and walked back to James, who asked a terse “Ready?” before he Apparated them both back to their front lawn. This time, as James walked angrily into the house, Lily walked with him. Once they were in the foyer, she turned to face him and began to speak, each word slightly angrier than the last.   
“James Potter, I demand that you speak to me now! I have had enough, do you hear me, enough of this silent discontent! Talking is the only way to fix things!”   
James narrowed his eyes and began to speak quietly — so quietly as to sound all the more terrifying. “All right, Lily. Let’s talk, then. Let’s talk about your tryst with Remus.”   
Lily replied with all her dissipating patience. “Look, James, I know talking to Voldemort was difficult for you, just like it was for me. But there is nothing going on. Remus just wanted to wish me a happy birthday, that was it.”   
James frowned, and his voice began to rise in volume. “Yes, I suppose a nice, close, secretive ‘Happy Birthday’ was all he needed. But what I meant was yesterday, when he came back just to see you.”   
“That wasn’t it, I told you — he just wanted to check on us both.”   
“I saw you,” James pointed out. “You and him with the whispers and the closeness — probably promising to meet the next day too?”   
“James,” Lily said, “no, that’s not….”   
She detected the repulsive whiny tone in her voice and restarted the sentence.   
“Nothing happened! Ever! And why are you so angry at me for nothing!” Lily now almost shouted.   
“Why didn’t you tell me? And why didn’t he?” James shouted back.   
Lily felt her hackles rise at the need to protect her friend. “Now, don’t you dare bring Remus into this! He would never hurt you like that — he would die first! He would do anything for you — that is how selfless he is!”   
“Oh!” James roared. “So, what is it now? You’ve found the better man, have you?”   
“Yes, I have!” Lily shouted back. “I’m just surprised it took me this long! And you know what else? Nothing, I promise you, has happened — but it might now!”   
James face flashed through several colours. “Lily-" he began, but Lily shook her head. “Fine,” he sputtered. “I can’t be around for this.”   
There was a loud crack, and he Disapparated.   
Lily waited a few minutes in the hallway, but it seemed that James actually had gone for good, like a child who couldn’t face a real fight. She went up the stairs to the bedroom, briefly wondering what she would do next. Well, that was a question for another day.  
Thankfully, the extra paperwork at work meant that, although the job was not quite as thrilling as usual, it also allowed more independent musing — or thought. Her rumination, however, was complicated by Rookwood’s unfriendly mien. The way he slammed papers down on her desk and avoided her cubicle whenever possible only served to reinforce the negative thoughts circling her mind. For a moment, she even wondered whether he might be doing this on purpose. But surely she was causing it herself. With her thoughts. Her parents had died in a car crash. Lily herself had been present. But just wonder about the possibilities; just think of Petunia. Lily had assured her that her parents had died a natural death, that magic was not involved, that it couldn’t have been involved. And now it was? She would have to talk to Dumbledore about it. Yes, surely Dumbledore would know. And there was an Order meeting soon. She would talk to him about it then.   
The next afternoon, Lily had a Floo call from Sirius. Almost immediately, Sirius queried, “So, Lil, what all is there going on between you and James?”   
Lily felt a surge of irrational anger, but she quashed it and instead asked calmly, “Well, Sirius, what has James told you?”   
Sirius’ forehead creased from within the fire. “So James turned up last night,” he explained. “He asked me if he could stay over. I guess something happened at headquarters today, because when he came back he started mumbling about how you were a liar and Remus was a traitor. It made no sense to me. Does that make any sense to you?”   
Lily frowned. “Yes, it does, but I don’t know if I should talk about it. You should ask James.”   
Sirius nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense. He sure wouldn’t like us going behind his back like this. But, you know, he, I’m guessing, won’t talk to you, and I know he won’t talk to Moony, and he will only barely talk to me. Now, the usual first step is to give him a day to cool off, and then ask questions. I already did that.” Sirius’ voice took on a tone of desperation. “I have to get him to talk somehow, to get him through this. So since I’m the only one he’ll talk to even a little right now, I need to know the questions I should be asking. Please.”   
Lily sighed. “All right,” she said. “I’ll talk to you about it, but can you Floo all the way over? I’d really rather do this in person.”   
Sirius smiled. “Yes, of course, Lily,” he said. “Just give me a few seconds.”   
Lily stood and moved back to the couch as Sirius vanished, reappeared, and sat down in the armchair opposite. “So,” he asked, “how did this begin?”   
Lily smiled thinly. “Well, you remember that we met with Voldemort just a few days ago. In that meeting, one of the things he told James to try to convince him was something about Remus in fifth year.”   
“Oh, I see.” Sirius straightened. “That he liked you then?”   
Lily tilted her head. “You knew?” she asked. “How did you know and no one else?”   
“He asked Peter and me for help,” Sirius said. “Now I understand. That would make him really mad. But at Remus, not at you. Lily, there was something else, wasn’t there?”   
“There was,” Lily said with some resignation. “That I liked Remus too.”   
“Yeah, I remember that,” said Sirius.   
“Really?” Lily asked.  
Sirius smiled. “It wasn’t hard to spot,” he said. “For all that Remus had no idea when he talked to me about it. You never told him, though, right?”   
“I never did,” Lily admitted. “And I never knew how he felt, either. But I guess we’ll have to talk about it now.” She thought for a moment. Then her eyes flashed, and Sirius backed away.   
Lily, though, waved off his concern. “Yes, Sirius, I am angry, but it is not at you. My issue, with James, is that I could’ve done something, and Remus could’ve done something, but neither of us did. Nothing happened. And James seems to think something could come of it. But I am his wife and Remus is one of his best friends! Why can’t he trust us?”   
“Whoa,” Sirius said. “Lil, calm down. James really trusts you, I know he does. I just need to talk some sense into him so he knows that too. And he’ll get to be fine with Remus, too.”   
“Right, said Lily. “Then, Sirius, you should go talk to James as soon as possible.”   
“I think I’ll do that now,” said Sirius. Lily passed him some Floo powder, and he left through the fireplace, hopefully to fix things with James.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

In the following afternoon, Lily left work early to go to the Order of the Phoenix headquarters. Once there, she waved to the four or five others there, and then she headed with determined haste to see Dumbledore. Before she got there, however, she felt a hand on her shoulder. As she turned around, Remus’ face came into view, with a look of confusion and concern creasing his forehead.   
“Lily,” he said cautiously, “something seems a bit off with us. I know James has been avoiding me, and I think Sirius has been too. And – are you, as well? Just what is going on?”   
Lily took a deep breath. She knew she would have to explain it all to Remus sooner or later. But how? “You’re right, I have been,” she admitted. “But it’s just a bit complicated. I’ll explain it all after the meeting, I promise you. Right now I’m trying to find Dumbledore to talk to him.”   
“Very well, then,” said Remus. With a look of concern, he said, “You want to talk to Dumbledore? About what?”   
Lily felt her eyes begin to sting. “My parents,” she said. “I want to check on their deaths, to be sure it wasn’t — wasn’t Dark Magic.”   
Remus tilted his head. “Lily,” he reminded her gently, “they were in a car crash. We checked, and there was no magic involved. So what’s wrong now?”   
Lily sighed. “When we talked to Voldemort, he — he said — he implied that it could be. So I have to go and check, don’t you see? Petunia would kill me if I didn’t and –“ Remus turned Lily to face him and took her hands in his.   
“Lily,” he said earnestly, “I’ll go with you, to see Dumbledore. You shouldn’t be alone.”   
Lily imagined for a moment the image of James walking in to find her and Remus deep in whispered conversation. However, she quickly decided that she didn’t care.   
“You’re right, Remus,” she said. “I can’t shut you out, not now, not when you’re the only one to help me. Let’s go, then.”    
She grabbed his arm and finished the journey to Dumbledore’s office. They found Dumbledore seated there behind a desk. He folded his hands and looked at them as they sat down on the other side.   
“So, Mrs. Potter, Mr. Lupin,” he began. “To what do I owe this honour?”   
“Well,” said Lily, “you see, sir, there is something Voldemort said that I wanted to ask you about.”   
“Yes,” Dumbledore smiled, “I thought there might be. What is it?”   
“He suggested, Professor,” Lily said hesitantly, “that my parents died due to Dark Magic. And he threatened James’ parents also.” She added, more resolutely, “I would like to ask that the Order keep a watch over them.”   
“And where is Mr. Potter?” Dumbledore asked. “Why is he not here to make this request himself?”   
Lily reached out for Remus’ hand before answering. “He’s with Sirius right now, Professor. But he should be at the meeting soon.”   
“Very well,” Dumbledore said. He gave Lily a sudden glance that seemed to say that he had understood even what she had not said. He then changed topics. “As I’m sure you are aware, we made a thorough investigation into that matter at the time of their deaths. There is, I believe, nothing left to discover.”   
Lily nodded. “Yes, sir, I’m sure you’re right. But still, it would help me to review the details, if I may.”   
“Of course,” said Dumbledore. With a look at Remus, he added, “Some of these details may be difficult to take in.   
“On 3 December 1977, at 8:47 in the evening, Mr. Dafydd Evans and Mrs. Rosemary Evans were driving in Holyhead, Wales, when an inebriated driver crashed into their car. They had had no prior physical or mental connection to any wizard, dark or otherwise.”   
Remus took Lily’s hand as Dumbledore went on.   
“The paramedics found the drunk driver dead at their arrival. Mr. and Mrs. Evans, however, were living, but mortally wounded. They passed away in the ambulance. We checked on the paramedics, and they were all nonmagical. We also took the Evans’ bodies to St. Mungo’s, and they had no trace of magic.”   
Dumbledore cleared his throat. “Please forgive my frankness, Mrs. Potter. However, I must tell you that I do not think magic was involved.”   
Lily wiped her eyes and looked up. “Yes, that all sounds right, sir. Now, I should probably get to the meeting.”   
Dumbledore nodded, and Lily and Remus walked back to the living room, where there now were many more Order members, including James and Sirius.    
Gideon Prewett stood in front of the group. “The reason this meeting has been called,” he began, “is to set up a pattern for watching the Ministry. We need to see….”   
The words of his lecture faded as Lily noticed James glancing in her direction and defiantly grabbed Remus’ hand. James’ eyes widened, and he whispered something to Sirius, who looked at Lily and shook his head. Lily swallowed her pride, shrugged at Remus, and turned her attention back to Gideon’s plans for watching the Ministry in shifts.   
Once the Order had decided exactly how the shifts would be arranged, everyone got up and prepared to leave. Lily grabbed Remus’ shoulder and guided him away from the crowd. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed James Disapparating, followed by Sirius. It was now or never to talk to Remus. Lily steeled herself and then began to speak.   
“Remus,” she began, “a few days ago, James and I met with Voldemort, and he reminded us of something. Something that happened in fifth year.”   
“What was it?” Remus asked. “Was it about Fenrir Greyback and my father? OWLs?” He paused. “Was it about your fight with Severus?”   
Lily shook her head. “No,” she answered. “It was about the two of us, you and me, but not about our work with your father’s memories. It was about — about the way you felt about me.” She swallowed. “And about the way I felt about you.”   
Remus looked into her eyes. “You liked me then?” he asked quietly. “You really did?”   
“Well, of course I did!” Lily exclaimed. Now that she had finally said it, the words almost seemed to pour out of her. “We were so close that year, and you were such a good friend, so kind. And you’re –“ she felt her face heat up, “you’re not bad-looking. So you never knew? I was able to hide it?”   
He nodded and cleared his throat. “I had no clue,” he pronounced. “Though a few times I did hope that maybe, just maybe — not that I feel like that about you now, of course,” he added hastily. “And your feelings have changed most drastically too, right?”   
Lily laughed. “Yes, they have. And that’s what I can’t quite understand. What does James think — that after we did nothing when we had feelings and were unattached, we would now that I’m married?”   
Remus grinned back at her, but his voice took on a more serious tone. “Yeah, sure, Lily. I see why he’s been avoiding me now, though. He’s always had a bit of an Achilles’ heel where you’re concerned, and of course Voldemort would drive a wedge in there. I can see why he’d be out of sorts. So,” he asked eagerly, “how do I fix it?”   
Lily sighed. “I’m not sure, Remus. He’s — well, he’s not really talking. I wasn’t even sure whether to tell you even as much as I did. But I couldn’t risk angering my only friend, see. And it wasn’t wrong; you aren’t mad at him, are you?”   
“No,” Remus mused. “He would be protective of you, even a bit overprotective. It’s annoying, sure, but not enough to make me forget our many years of friendship. It would be different, though, if he was angry with you; that would be too unlike him. But he isn’t, is he?”  
Lily blurted out, “No, of course not! And yes, things otherwise are a little tense, but I know he’ll ease up with the passage of time, I know it.”   
Remus hugged Lily. “It’s all right,” he reassured her. “Your husband is under the thrall of the darkest wizard ever, but I know James. He’ll come around. But for now, you should be heading home. James must be waiting for you.”   
Lily shrugged and tilted her head. “Yeah, I’d better go. Good night, Remus.”   
“Good night, Lily,” Remus said, and they both Disapparated.   
Once Lily reappeared just outside her front door, she wondered briefly whether she should have invited him back to her home. Then she shook it off and made her way up to bed.   
The days began to run together until one evening, Lily came home from work to find James there, standing in front of the stairs.   
“Hi, Lily,” he said.   
Lily felt so many contradictory emotions that at first she just stood there, her mind blank. After a few minutes, she asked hesitantly, “So Sirius talked you down, did he?”   
“Yes, he did,” James admitted. ”But I can’t really talk about it now. Can it wait until tomorrow, when you get back from work?”   
“All right,” she said.    
After work, Lily once again found James at home, and she racked her brain to think of what they might do next. “James,” she said, “I think you should talk to Remus. He is a bit confused, and he worries about you.”   
James sighed. “Of course,” he began slowly. “You know, Sirius spent a good part of the day yesterday telling me you wouldn’t be doing exactly what you are now. But of course you must defend your lover, mustn’t you?”   
Rage rose up inside Lily, but she reminded herself that she had been angry the past days, and where had it gotten her? Nowhere. So she enunciated, coolly and clearly, “I thought you had come back to repair your relationships. Visiting Remus would do much for that. However,” Lily crossed her arms, “if you still aren’t ready to face him, we can revisit this later.”   
James gaped at her in shock. After a while, he replied, “Right you are. We’ll see Remus now, then.”   
He turned on his heel and Disapparated. Lily did likewise, reappearing on Remus’ front lawn to find James knocking, rather heavily, on the front door. Remus came to the door, his face brightening as he saw Lily and James.   
“Hello, James, Lily,” he called out eagerly. “Come in, come in!”   
They followed him through the door and into the living room. After sitting on the slightly threadbare couch, Remus asked, “Would you like some tea?”   
Lily and James both shook their heads. “So,” Remus said, “what can I do for you?”   
James took a deep breath before starting. “You see, Remus,” he stated, “I’m sure you’ve been wondering why we’ve been avoiding you.” He paused. “Lily has been avoiding you, right?”   
“Well,” Remus said, but Lily cut in. “I haven’t, you know I haven’t, I told you so myself!”   
Remus, trying to placate James, offered, “But mate, isn’t this all something Voldemort said?”   
James turned on Lily. “You told him?”   
“Don’t get mad at Lily,” Remus cajoled him, but James instantly answered his own question.   
“Yes, of course, you tell him everything, right? And more — you should have heard her just now, Remus, when she confirmed for me that you two are lovers!”   
Remus raised his arms defensively. “James, mate, you have to believe me. I liked Lily a few years ago, but nothing happened then, and there is nothing now.”   
James pushed up his glasses. “Of course you would say that,” he said. “After all, what would you do without my money?”   
This was such an underhanded accusation that Remus bit his lip and stopped even trying to speak. Lily, however, gave James a truly piercing look and gave Remus a hug before beginning to shout.   
“James Potter,” she demanded, “you apologise to Remus, your friend, right this second! You know that was horrendously unfair and untrue!”   
She turned her attention to Remus, whispering, “It’s okay. I’ll talk him out of it, you’ll see. We all love you, you know that.”   
“See?” shouted James, jabbing a finger at him, sitting with Lily. “He takes my money and stays close to me, all so he can steal my woman away!”   
Lily’s eyes began to flash dangerously. “James Potter,” she said coolly, “I am not your woman, nor have I ever been. I married you, of my own free will, because I thought I loved you, and because I thought there was nothing, nothing you would not do for your friends. Clearly I was mistaken.”   
“Yes, I suppose you were!” shouted James. “And what a fool I was for thinking you loved me, only me!”   
Lily searched for a reply, but as she was thinking, Remus stood up in what Lily had seen only once before — pure anger.   
“James Potter!” he thundered. “It is shameful, your treatment of your wife and your friend, and I place a mark of dishonour on your name. And since it would be cowardly to ally myself with one so marked, you no longer need to worry about giving me your precious gold.   
“Now,” he said, “since we have no further business, I think you should leave.”   
James backed down, fear showing in his eyes. “Lily?” he asked.   
Lily shook her head, standing by Remus and taking his hand.   
“No,” Remus declared, “Lily Evans is free to stay with me as she wishes. You, Potter,” he spat, “can go see Black, my other friend who stabbed me in the back.”   
“All right,” James said quietly. “I’ll – I’ll go.” He flung open the front door and stormed out.   
Once James had gone, Remus sat back down.   
“I’ll make us some tea,” Lily said, and she went into the kitchen to heat the water. She leaned against the counter to think. But almost before she could get a single thought into her head, the kettle’s whistle rang out merrily. Lily set the tea to steep and then carried the two teacups and the sugar back to Remus. He put his arm around her shoulder and took his tea with a smile.    
“Lily,” he asked.   
“Yes?”   
“What was it that James meant before, when he said you told him that we were lovers? Did you really say that to him? Because – we aren’t, we haven’t been, you know.”   
Lily shook her head and half-rolled her eyes, but made no effort to disentangle herself from Remus’ side. “No, I didn’t,” she clarified. “James accused us of it a few hours ago, and I must admit that I didn’t bother denying it.” She sighed. “Honestly,” she added, “sometimes I wonder if it even really matters to him, whether we’re together or not.   
“And I really must apologise to you, Remus,” she pressed on. “He wouldn’t be this mad but for me, I know it, I know. I just – I got so mad at what he was saying, and my anger got the best of me. I baited him — with you, with thoughts of the two of us. And I know that didn’t just make him angrier with me; it exacerbated this entire conflict. And it’s all my fault. I’m so sorry, Remus,” she concluded.   
But Remus did not shy away from her; his grip on her shoulder only tightened, and he said quietly,”No, Lily, that’s all right.” He straightened and added with a grin, “Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I’m a bit ticked off with James myself, so I applaud your baiting efforts. I actually could see myself dong something like that, too. Don’t worry, Lily. I know what anger is. And I’m fine; here I am with you. See?”   
They sat together, drinking one cup of tea and then another, for almost an hour and a half. As the room grew steadily darker, Lily asked, “So, where would you like to eat? My treat!”   
“Lily….” Remus warned.   
Lily jingled the coin purse in her pocket. “Look, Remus,” she said, “I earned all of this myself. It’s my stipend from the Department of Mysteries, so you won’t take a farthing from James. Plus,” she posited, “surely there’s nothing keeping me from taking my best friend in the world out for a bite!”   
She mock glared at Remus until he admitted she was right.   
“So, the Leaky Cauldron?” she asked.   
After the events of the past few days, Lily was a little tired of Apparating from one place to the next. So when Remus suggested Flooing to the pub, she instantly agreed. Once the powder got them safely to the Leaky Cauldron’s dusty floor, they started the evening with a round of Butterbeers, followed by shepherd’s pies and a few firewhiskies. After their meals and a few words, the two of them made their way back to the pub’s fireplace, where they Flooed back to Remus’ house.   
“So, Remus,” Lily said heavily, “I have to tell you something.”   
“I know,” Remus replied. “It wasn’t really the case that James was only mad at me, was it?”   
“No,” Lily said sheepishly. “He is about as mad at me as I am at him. And he was actually staying with Sirius up until last night. I just didn’t want you to worry about me is all.”   
“Well, I did,” Remus rejoined. “Look Lily, you’re my best friend, the same as I am yours, and we’ve always been close. Of course we worry about each other.”   
He reached out and drew Lily close beside him, and she rested her head on his shoulder. After a minute, he added, “You’re a great person, and I know James sees that, just as I do. But until he makes that as clear to you as it is to me, I can never forgive him.”   
“Thank you, Remus,” Lily whispered. She yawned and added, “I think I’ll go up to bed now.”   
He stood and walked with her up the stairs and into the bedroom. He then handed Lily some of his clothes to wear for the night. Once Lily returned from the restroom, she saw Remus laying out a sleeping bag at the foot of the bed, but she reached out and tapped the space next to her. “Remus,” she said clearly, “come on. There’s plenty of room for us both.”   
Remus slid in the bed next to her. “Right,” he responded. “After all, better here than on the floor.”   
They lay side by side, until Remus whispered, “Lily?”   
“Yes? What is it?”   
“What did Voldemort talk about?” he asked. “I mean, other than us?”   
“Oh,” Lily said. She tried to think of the best way to explain it. “Well,” she offered, “the main thing he did was through Legilimency. He kind of amplified what he said, made it seem more serious.   
“But as for what he said — he talked about our parents, and a lot about blood status. Then he brought up Aunt Eira. And he said that if I joined him, I could be again with my best, oldest friend.”   
She paused and then said seriously, “But he was wrong. Severus is not my best friend. You are.”   
Remus kissed Lily’s forehead. “Yes, and I’m not going anywhere,” he said. “Now, good night.”   
“Good night.”   
Lily’s final thought before falling asleep was one of wonderment: How could James think, even for a second, that this kind, gentle soul could have a malicious bone in his body?   
Lily awoke to the chirping of her alarm. Without disturbing the slumbering form next to her, she crept out of bed and raced down the stairs to see her owl. She scribbled out a hasty note and told her, “Give this note to Elly straight away, okay?”   
She then made herself a quick breakfast and rushed back upstairs to brush her teeth. She then heard the cracking sound that meant Elly had arrived downstairs. She returned to the front hallway and asked, “So, Elly, what have you brought me?”   
“Mistress,” the elf squeaked, “Elly has brought some clothes in this bag.”   
She held out the bag to Lily, who opened it and found several brightly coloured (but matching) sets of blouses and skirts, along with a few sets of her Unspeakable robes. Lily reached for parchment and quill, and she wrote Remus a brief note of where she was going and when she would return. She then changed and Flooed to work. She was glad to see that Rookwood seemed to be in better spirits than before. After her internship, she returned for lunch, then walked to the Order headquarters for her work there.  
After a few days, Lily became accustomed to life at Remus’ house. She wondered fleetingly how James was spending those days. Did he miss her? Was he still at their house? On the fourth day, she came back from work to see Sirius’ owl waiting expectantly on the windowsill. As soon as it caught sight of Lily, it hooted and flew away, leaving two letters behind, one addressed to Remus and one to Lily. Remus walked in, holding the note Lily had written that morning. He picked up his letter and said, “Hi, Lily! So, what are these?”   
“I just got back from work, and Sirius’ owl was there,” Lily told him. “It left these two letters for us.”   
The two of them walked to the garden and opened their letters. Lily’s was direct and to the point: 

Lily,   
I know we talked about this a few days ago, but now it seems even more serious than maybe it should be. Your head is in the right place, so you must know that the only way to resolve this this situation is to talk to James. I am sure Remus does not want to see him these days, so I am asking you to go back home. I know you will do what is right.   
Sirius 

Remus was still reading his. After a few minutes, he looked up and passed it to Lily. “Here,” he said tiredly. Lily handed over hers in return, and the pair sat back down to read. Remus’ letter was much longer than Lily’s. 

Moony,   
You are a little mad at James right now, I know. But your anger has nothing to do with Mrs. Potter now. Look, mate, I know you. I know that when we had that talk about your feelings years ago, you were scared, but brave enough to do anything to make it right. And you are still, honestly, the most sensible of us.   
Right now you are in the difficult situation that both you and Mrs. Potter are angry with Prongs, and he tells me she spent the night at your place. Moony, her presence there can only lead to trouble. I hope you have not done anything you will regret.   
Mrs. Potter must now go home to her husband. Moony, do not let your feelings repeat. Let the past stay in the past. I know it’s fun having a pretty girl stay away from her husband for you — believe me, I know — but this can’t go on. Even if you still have feelings for her, the ones you said might never go away, you can still be a good friend to her. Let her go.   
Padfoot 

Lily looked up from the letter. “Remus,” she began coldly, “you may tell Sirius that there is no way I will leave you alone just because he says so.”   
“Really?” Remus asked eagerly.   
“Really,” Lily pronounced firmly. “If James really wants to fix this, he will do two things. First, he will bear the shame of coming himself, and then he will ask you if it’s all right.”   
She added, “And you know he will have to apologise to you. I could never leave you wholly alone.”   
As Remus nodded in reply, a phrase of Sirius’ came to mind. “Remus?” she said.   
“Yes?” he asked with concern. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean for Sirius’ letters to upset you so. I just thought there should be no secrets between us.”   
“No, you’re perfectly right,” Lily smiled. “That letter must have been so hard on you, but I’m grateful you let me see it.”   
Remus smiled and nodded.   
“No,” Lily continued, “there was just something I wanted to ask you, if that’s all right. In the letter, Sirius said you had told him your feelings might never go away.” Lily looked up at Remus. “But they did, right? You told me so. I just – I should hate to think that I am making matters difficult, not easier, for you.”   
Remus shook his head. “At that time I was sixteen, Lily. I’m sure you remember how then, a simple crush seemed like the end of the world, like a matter of life and death. So yes, I said that then, but what I said to you was true. I love you as a friend, and I always will.”   
“As I love you,” Lily murmured.    
Remus thought for a minute and then smirked. “To prove matters,” he said, “just think about last night. We were both a bit drunk, and we shared a bed. If I still had feelings for you, there is no way I wouldn’t have made something happen. You don’t either, do you?”   
“No,” Lily replied.   
She grinned at Remus, who grinned back. Their grins turned to laughter as a light rain broke out. But within a few minutes, their laughter dissolved into shivers as their clothes and hair became soaked through. Hugging to keep warm, they ran inside and upstairs.   
Remus fished around his dresser until he found a T-shirt and sweatpants. “Here,” he offered, handing them to Lily, “change into these.”   
Lily changed as quickly as she could, grabbing a towel for her hair before she ran down to the kitchen to make tea. When she got there, however, she saw that Remus was already pouring the hot tea into two mugs. Passing one to Lily, he walked to the living room and sat on the couch. Lily sat next to him.   
“So,” he asked, “ how was work?”   
“It was all right,” she replied. “It wasn’t, you know, one of my greatest work days ever, but it still went pretty well. Just – well, Augustus Rookwood.”   
“What?”   
“Well,” Lily explained, “he’s been acting a bit mad or annoyed, and I can’t figure out why. Really, he just seems a little — a little off.”   
“I’m sure it’ll all sort itself out,” Remus said. “You’ve been wrapped  up in all this business here, so it’s only natural that work would seem a little out of sorts too.”   
“Yes, I’m sure you’re right,” Lily said.   
There was a knock at the door, and she peeked around the curtains to see James at the door. “There,” she said, nudging Remus, “look.”   
He looked out through the curtain, and then he turned with a wink and a grin to look Lily up and down. She realised how close to Remus she was sitting, in his clothes, and she noticed her wet hair and pink cheeks.   
“Hey, Lily,” Remus laughed. “Want to tease him one last time?”   
Lily nodded and jaunted to the door. “Hello, James,” she said brightly as she opened it, inwardly smiling at his stricken expression. “Shall I get Remus? Remus!” she called.   
She began absentmindedly rubbing her hair with the towel. Remus came up behind her and tapped her shoulder. “Lily, love,” he asked, “what is it?”   
James spoke up. “I’ve come to take Lily home.”   
Lily raised her eyebrows. “Oh?” she said. She then turned and asked, “Do you think I should, Remus?”   
He gripped her shoulder. “You know I would never wish you gone, Lily. And Potter and I can never be friends while he slights you so. But it may turn out to resolve your life the best. So do as you must.”   
“Remus,” Lily responded, “nor will I forgive him until you are friends again.”   
James began to wilt, but he said, “I know some of the things I said and did may not have been entirely right, but we need to go home to fix them, Lily.”   
“Very well,” Lily answered. James looked up hopefully, and Lily almost felt sorry for him. Almost.   
“James,” she decided, “I will go with you, if you will apologise to Remus for what you said yesterday. You know it was unfair and untrue.”   
“Moony,” said James, “I should never have maligned your interest in my money, which I gave to you as a gift. I am truly sorry.”   
It was not quite enough to mend the broken relationship, but it was, at least, a beginning.   
“Prongs,” Remus said with a nod, a trifle coldly, but accepting of the apology.   
“Good,” Lily said. “Then, Remus, love, will you help me fetch my things?”   
“Of course,” Remus said, and he walked with Lily up the stairs. Once they reached the bedroom, Lily grabbed her bag and turned to face Remus, placing her hands on his shoulders.   
“Remus,” she said, “right here, right now, James is not here. So what we do is not for show; we can be real, true. Now I want to tell you that you have made the past day so much better, and I will always be grateful.”   
“Cariad,” began Remus, and Lily started. He hadn’t called her that since she was a grief-stricken sixteen-year-old.   
“Yes?” asked Lily.   
“The past day would have been, not hard, impossible without your support. Diolch yn fawr, cariad.”   
Lily leaned her head against Remus’. “Anytime,” she whispered.   
Remus put his arm around her shoulders and guided her back down the stairs. In the living room, he turned Lily to him and said, “Thank you, again, for your help last night. I needed it.”   
“We needed each other,” Lily returned. She looked up as Remus kissed her forehead, and she flashed a grin at him as James grabbed her hand and marched out the door. James Disapparated, with a nod at Lily to do the same, and within moments they both stood in their front yard. James took a deep breath and began to speak.   
“It’s been awhile, Lily,” he said. “I’m glad you have come back.”   
Lily blinked.   
He began again. “Lily, I know that in Hogwarts there was nothing holding the two of us back. And now that you’re here, I see there is nothing holding us back now. And if there ever was, or if there is, anything between you and Remus, it is not important. I see that now.”  
“James,” Lily started, “there never was-"  
“It just startled me,” James said, “to hear that. And I think you were right - Voldemort was preying on my feelings too.”  
“James,” Lily said, “there never has been anything between Remus and me, not even over the past days.”  
“Okay,” James said. He did not seem wholly convinced, but Lily went into the kitchen to heat up some water, while he went upstairs to change.  
When he came back down, Lily looked up from her tea and asked, “James, where have you been the last few days?”  
“With Sirius. We talked it all over, until I came back to see you at first.” He looked at her mug. “May I have some tea?”  
“Sure.” Lily filled a cup for him in the kitchen. “So, what happened after you got kicked out of Remus’ place?”  
“You mean his place that I pay for?” Seeing Lily’s look of disapproval, he added, “Sure, nothing happened, but he wanted me to think something did, right? So I know he’s my friend and I’ll still be polite, but I can be mad too if I want, can’t I?”  
“I suppose you can,” Lily said. “So, what happened then?”  
“I have to admit, I stayed at home for a while, so sure you’d come back. Then - Gideon found me. He had no clue what had happened between us, but somehow when he spoke, I felt most persuaded to go to the Leaky Cauldron and spill it all.”  
“Hey!” said Lily. “That wasn’t when I was there with Remus, was it?”  
James sat up. “I knew it! I kept saying I heard your voice just behind me, but Gideon told me my drunk brain was just making it up.”  
“No, we were there too.”  
“So, you and Remus the whole time?” James asked in a wistful tone.  
“Well… think of him as my Gideon. You stayed with him, didn’t you?”  
“After we left the Leaky Cauldron, I was too drunk to go home alone. So I stayed with him and Fabian.”  
Lily narrowed her eyes. “Molly wasn’t there, was she?”  
“No! I mean, yes, she stopped by, with her husband, Arthur.” James stood. “But you know, I wasn’t the one who spent three whole days alone with a person of the opposite sex.”  
“James, you know how Remus and I are. And rest assured, while there might have been issues between you and me, neither Remus nor I ever forgot I am married — to you.”  
James raked his hand through his hair. “I know, I know. Just I’ve always wondered.”  
“Wondered what, James?” Lily asked.  
“You and Remus have so much in common. So did you just marry me because it was more convenient?”  
“James, you know that I love you, right?”  
“Yes, I know that.” He narrowed his eyes. “But it doesn’t answer my question.”  
“Look, sometimes you get along with someone as a friend. But that doesn’t mean marriage would work with them. And it wouldn’t with him, either. It does with you.”  
“Sure,” James said, seeming less than convinced.  
Lily sighed. “Look. I’m not one of those who will hide a problem until it goes away. I am strong, and I know my own mind. The only reason I would have for marriage was the reason I got married.” She paused. “Before, that might have happened more often, because of the security a husband provided. Now, though, it’s much easier to get along as a single woman. It is in the wizarding world, at least.” She raised her eyebrows. “Do you really think I would shackle myself, for the whole rest of my life, to a guy I didn’t even like, just for some nearly nonexistent benefits?”  
“Of - of course not,” James stammered. “I just — it’s good to know for sure.”  
“It is,” Lily said. “But - that is fairly common. I mean, it is why you married me, is it not?”  
“Yeah,” James said. “I see. I was just — scared, I guess. I mean, what if I really were the wrong person? Then it would be my job to step aside.”  
“But we are better together than apart. You show me the practical aspects of life, that it’s not just theoretical.”  
“Thanks,” James said, as he held Lily tight.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

Lily saw an owl drop a letter on the kitchen table. Almost lazily, she bent to pick it up, opened it, and began reading. The blood drained from her face as she looked over the parchment. James walked in. “Lily, what’s wrong?” he asked. He grabbed the letter from Lily and scanned it rapidly. “Let’s go, then,” he said. He grabbed Lily’s hand and turned on the spot.  
They arrived in St. Mungo’s, where James angrily waved off the Healer asking everyone how she could help them. He strode up to the witch at reception, asking, “Mr. and Mrs. Potter, where are they?”  
The witch shook her head. “I’m sorry, I cannot give that information out.”  
“I’m their son! Where are my parents?”  
Just then, a Healer from upstairs came by. “Mr. James Potter? Here to visit your parents?”  
Seeing James’ impatient face, Lily broke in. “Yes, please. Where are they?”  
“If you would just follow me.” The Healer led them to a curtained off room.  
James ran up to the couple lying in the beds. “Mum! Dad!”  
“Hello son,” Mr. Potter said. He motioned to his sleeping wife. “I know this looks serious, but we should be all right soon.”  
“What happened?” James asked.  
He sat up and pushed down the covers. “You see son, we first thought I might be coming down with the pox a few days ago. Then, last night, we saw the spots on your mum, too. So we thought we should check ourselves in here for a day or two just to stay safe.”  
“But nothing serious happened?” Lily thought back to the times she’d heard of individuals with dragon pox. Many times they passed out from the fever or began bleeding from the sores.  
“No, nothing of that sort. No fainting or bleeding. But since we are a little older than most with dragon pox, we thought that for sure something would happen if we didn’t consult the Healers.”  
Lily nodded. “That’s smart thinking. So, do you have plans to return home?”  
“Yes. We think we will stay here overnight, and then we will hire an assistant to travel between here and home to care for us.”  
James said, “Of course. I will make sure you have whatever you need.”  
The next day, sure enough, they were at home. But just a fortnight later, they were at St. Mungo’s again.   
“At least the Healers seem optimistic,” Lily said. “They’ll be fine, they will.” She laid an arm on James’ shoulders. But he shrugged his shoulders until it fell back. Lily sighed. The situation with Remus had, it seemed, done more lasting damage than she had expected.  
James raised his eyes. “Are we okay?”  
“Yes,” Lily said firmly. “We always were.”  
“You’ve forgiven me then?”  
Lily nodded. “It’s all over. But there is one thing you’ll need to put right.”  
“You’re going to make me make up with Remus, right?”  
“You can do it in your own time,” Lily said. She added, “But I think you should.”  
That evening, they ate dinner with the Marauders. “So,” Sirius asked, “how are they doing?”  
“Mum and Dad are back in St. Mungo’s,” said James.  
Remus asked Lily, “What do the Healers say?” He drew back, though, when he saw James watching them.  
“The Healers are fairly optimistic,” Lily said. “They have had a few cases like this before, and they have always gone well. They just prefer to have them both in the hospital wing to be extra cautious.”  
“That’s good, then,” said Peter, with a few furtive glances between his friends.  
Lily cornered James as soon as they got home. “I saw the way you were looking at Remus and me. And James, this has to stop! Right now!”  
“Should I be the only one trying to make friends with him?” James asked. “I mean, he did things to make me mad too. Shouldn’t he be trying to befriend me?”  
Lily sighed. He was right. “This wasn’t all one-sided. And yeah, you did most of the shouting, but not all of it. If you want, I can go to Remus and get him to do more to befriend you-"  
“No!” said James.   
“Well, see, I can persuade you to befriend him, but I cannot convince him — without making you mad, it seems.” Lily smiled, and James did too.  
“Good point there. Fine. I will do more. But it seems to me that I should not befriend someone who does not want to befriend me.”  
“He wants to. I promise he does.” Lily sighed. “He just doesn’t know how to.”

Over the next few weeks, the Potters seemed much better. James still stayed home from the Order most days, spending all of his time at St. Mungo’s. Lily visited whenever she could find time from the Department of Mysteries. And of course, the Healers were always there. But one day, despite the care they received, they were much worse. St. Mungo’s sent James and Lily an owl that morning, just as Lily was about to go.   
James scanned the letter and handed it to Lily, saying, “I’ll go now, then.”  
Lily frowned. “I’ve already taken too much time off at the Department; I have to go. But my shift ends before visiting hours do; I’ll be there as soon as I get off in the evening.”  
James nodded.  
Sure enough, Lily Flooed to St. Mungo’s as soon as she left work. When she walked in, though, the hospital seemed somehow different. Nurse Jones looked at her sympathetically and shook her head. Trying her best to dispel the worst feelings, Lily ran up the stairs to the Potters’ room. There she saw James sitting in the hallway, his head in his hands. He looked up as Lily sat next to him.  
“Lily,” he said. She squeezed his hands. “They’re gone. This morning. I have no parents now.”  
“I know,” she said. “I know. And I’m so sorry — for you, for me, for us all. The kindest couple ever, who took me in after I lost my parents too….”  
He looked up at her. “And now, just like Voldemort said-"  
“No. I understand what you’re feeling, because I worried about it too, with my parents. I know you remember. But this was checked by Order members and Healers - it was dragon pox, nothing more. Death is a terrible, terrible thing, but sometimes it happens for no reason at all.”  
James nodded and stared blankly at the clock. A few minutes later, Sirius ran in, with Remus and Peter following. Sirius tapped James on the shoulder and looked at his with a furrowed brow. “Mate….” He gasped. James stood and hugged him. Remus and Peter soon joined in. Remus turned his head and shot Lily an understanding look. She half-smiled in response, but neither of them moved a muscle toward each other. Sirius, instead, was the one who welcomed Lily into the hug, whispering, “I know. They were like parents to me too.”  
One of the Healers approached the group, and James stepped forward, as did Lily.  
“Mr. and Mrs. Potter,” he said. “I am so sorry for your loss.”  
“Thank you,” James said.  
“Have you had a chance yet to think about the funeral arrangements at all?”  
“I was thinking of this weekend,” James said. “Would that work for everyone?”  
“Of course, mate,” Peter said.  
“Certainly, sir,” said the Healer.  
“Yes, and it should be at our family plot, in Devonshire.”  
“That sounds right.”  
The funeral took place a windy afternoon at the Manor. A few Healers were there, as well as various representatives of the community the Potters had helped. Somehow, Lily had never before considered the social aspect of their lives — she knew, of course, that Mr. Potter’s legacy was a significant one, but…. James saw her looking at all of the visitors. “I know,” he said. “They have their community, just as your parents did too.”   
Lily looked at the crowd. If she had grown up in the wizarding world, would she be just like James?  
She noticed a familiar black coat and scowled. Why did he have to go to every event she attended? At least this time he was in the back of the crowd and would not see her or James. Next to him there was …a man with red eyes? Could it really be? Lily gripped James’ arm as he saw them, as he began to edge closer, closer -   
A group of Aurors passed between them. Lily looked again at the clearing, but this time saw nothing but grass. She thought clearly, “You see? They were not killed by magic, after all,” and smiled.  
The next day of work, Augustus Rookwood called her to his office. “Lily, he said, the Department of Mysteries would like to offer you a full-time job with us. I would still function as your partner, and you would have one week to consider this opportunity.”  
Lily repeated, “One week. And if I agree, it’s the same as before?”  
Rookwood handed her a paper. “Almost the same. You would work from 8 to 5 each day, not the part time hours from before. I would still work as your partner. Also, there would be a few more reports you would have to fill out. However, yes, your work would be essentially the same until the point at which you would be able to mentor youth of your own, as I have mentored you.”  
Lily nodded. “Good, Rookwood. Thank you for telling me. I appreciate this, truly. I hope to have an answer by the end of the week.”  
“Right, Lily. Thank you.”  
The first move Lily made was to Apparate to the Order headquarters, where she told Dumbledore what had happened and then asked, “But I should say no, right?”  
“Well, maybe,” said Dumbledore.  
“What?”  
Dumbledore began to describe her choices. “If you say yes, it is true that you will not have the time for the Order that you did before. You will have to pass from being a part of the administration to being a general member, like Anna Thomas.”  
Lily asked, “But the Order needs all the help it can get, right, sir? How could that be a good thing?”  
“One other thing would be possible. You are familiar, for example, with Mr. Alastor Moody?”  
Lily nodded. “Yes, sir. Mr. Moody is an Order member, and he also is an Auror.”  
Dumbledore smiled. “Precisely. Through his position in the Ministry of Magic, he is able to solidify our position, not merely on the war, but also with the Ministry.”  
Lily widened her eyes. “Oh. So he passes us information on Barty Crouch?”  
“Yes, he does.”  
“But I think that his position as Auror better enables him to pass information.”  
Dumbledore steepled his fingers. “So it does. But your position as an Unspeakable would enable you not only to do that, but also to study matters of interest to the Order.”  
“I see.”  
“Yes. Also, the government rather suspects there might be spies, but it erroneously believes that if there are, in fact, spies, they would be in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Therefore, they are careful about information distributed to the Aurors, but not nearly so attentive regarding information passed to the Unspeakables, who, as their name suggests, talk to no one,” Dumbledore clarified.  
“So I’d be a spy?”  
Dumbledore tightened his mouth. “Yes. For the Order. Because we are in a delicate situation, you see. We fight this war, and as such we oppose the Death Eaters - and Voldemort. However, we also are an illegal organisation. We need help in dealing with the Ministry as well, especially with the movements of Barty Crouch, who now is the head of, among other things, the Department of Mysteries.”  
Dumbledore looked at her. “You can do this, Lily. People - they like you, they tell you things, they listen when you speak. But I know it is a lot to repeat what they say. There is no way we would even try to make you do this if you don’t want to.”  
Lily remembered how easily she had lied in Llanfair. “No, I’ll do it. After all, this war touches us all, and I must do what I can to stop it.”  
“Very well.” Dumbledore cleared his throat and stood up. “Then let them know that you do indeed want the job. How do they expect the information to come?”  
“In person. I will tell them myself before work tomorrow.” Lily stood. “I guess I have many years to look forward to with Rookwood, then.”  
“With whom?”  
“Augustus Rookwood, my partner. He has always seemed a bit odd to me. I can’t think exactly why, though.” Lily turned to leave. “I’ll go talk to James, then. Thank you for meeting with me, Professor.”  
Lily stepped outside the office. But how would she talk to James about this? Just after her parents died - Lily had been unable to think of even the simplest things. And how would he be able to work in the Order of the Phoenix?  
When she got home, she was amazed to discover that Remus was there, sitting next to James on the sofa as if nothing was wrong. “I know, James,” he was saying. “I should never have thought so little of you. You are the same person who has given up everything for me.”  
“And you are the same person for whom I would do anything.”  
Lily stepped into the room. “So you two are friends now?”  
James smiled at her. “Do you know? I do not think there was even a second when we weren’t.”  
“Good! It is so good that we’re all together.”  
“I know,” said Remus. “The Marauders together really are most of the Order of the Phoenix. How would it ever get along without us?”  
Lily took a breath. “I was just talking to Dumbledore,” she said.  
James asked, “What about?”  
“See, Augustus Rookwood offered me a permanent position in the Department of Mysteries.”  
“And Dumbledore thinks you should take it?”  
“Yes, she does.” Lily faced James. “James, I know this means I will not be at home so much, and will not be able to do as much paperwork for the Order as before, but it will give me much more spy opportunity on the Ministry of Magic. Also, being an Unspeakable will give me unlimited access to their stores of information. What do you think?”  
“I agree. It is difficult, though, mentally challenging, to live as a spy. Do you think you can do it?”  
“Well, I’ll find out, won’t I?”  
“I guess so.” James smiled. “Go for it, then.”  
Remus grinned. “You can do it, I’m sure.” And when he hugged Lily in encouragement, James even grinned at the two of them together.

Lily walked from the Ministry fireplaces to the Department of Mysteries. Before she could enter her office, though, Rookwood walked into the hallway. “Lily, I need your help.  
“There’s a bit of a mess in the Hall of Prophecies, and I’m afraid we can’t spare an intern to clean it up.”   
“Okay. So you and I will?” Lily asked, already knowing the answer.  
Rookwood smiled. “I have a few reports to finish. Would you mind if I met you there when I finish them?”  
“Of course,” Lily said. She went into her office and set down her tea mug. Good thing it was self-warming. She rolled her eyes and then set off to investigate what had gone wrong in the Hall of Prophecies.  
“Oh, surely not,” she said as she surveyed the tilted bookcases. Of course. They couldn’t call an intern to do this. An intern would just want to organise it all by hand. She sighed and pulled out her wand to reposition the orbs. First one, then another, and another….  
After hours of straightening the orbs, Rookwood finally walked in. “How’s it going, Lily?” he asked.  
Lily rolled her eyes. “Fine, I guess. But I’m still not done yet. Wanna help?”  
Rookwood raised his wand to help Lily. The use, however, of two wands rather than one changed the density of the air around the room, until one of the orbs tilted even more and began to fall to the floor. Lily, to keep it from falling, instinctively reached out a hand to grab it.   
Rookwood yelled, “Lily, no!” But right then, Lily found that she had the orb in her hand. She tilted her head and shifted in to her other hand, then examined the newly free appendage. It was not burned or bleeding, not bruised or broken.  
“Lily?” Rookwood said cautiously. “Are you all right?”  
“It seems — that I am,” she said slowly. She shouldn’t be. Not after this. There had to be something wrong, right?  
“But the prophecy….”  
She turned it over. S. P. T. to A. P. W. B. D. [1]“I’m not in it. Not any party.”  
“Then, how? Did that not count as taking it off the shelf? I mean, it was on the shelf, that was its last fixed location.”  
“And if your name doesn’t appear on the label…. Are you sure? Have you ever seen it happen?” Lily asked. “I mean, I learned about it in my Divination classes, but I never saw it happen. And people think all the time that things are true that aren’t really.”  
Rookwood’s eyes darkened. “Yes, I have seen it. Around five years ago.”  
“And what happened? The injury was instantaneous, was it not?”  
“Yes, it was. It presented as a burn on the palm of the hand. And there was no delayed reaction.” Rookwood looked at Lily’s hand. “I don’t know how this could have happened. Maybe you should get yourself checked out at St. Mungo’s.”  
“But - this-"  
Rookwood took the crystal from her hand. “I’ll finish in here, Lily. It’s all right. Just go.”  
“But there’s nothing wrong with me!”  
“Nothing that we can tell. I am a professional wizard, but not a Healer. They can tell more, I’m sure.”  
She walked quickly back to the Ministry’s fireplaces and Flooed to St. Mungo’s. A Healer walked up to her. “Hello. What seems to be the problem?”  
“I - I don’t know,” Lily said. She thought for a minute. “Something happened — and it’s like I should have something wrong with me — but I don’t know.”  
The Healer replied calmly, “Then you will want a general checkup, I think. Let me see about getting you a room, and then we can see.”  
It was not until all other patients seemed to have vacated the lobby that the Healer returned. “This way, please, to your room.”  
Another Healer waited in the room. Once Lily came in, she asked, “So, what do you think is the problem? You are uncertain?”  
Lily shook her head. “No, I don’t have a clue what it is. But something happened at work today that made me want to check.”  
“What happened? Did you, perhaps, slip or fall? Did you cut yourself?”  
“No, I did not injure myself, nor am I even certain that I have been injured. If I do have any injury, I think that it should present as a burn. I just would like to consult here as a result of some confidential items I was viewing. It is a part of my work as an Unspeakable,” Lily said. The Healer raised her eyebrows, and she said, “All right, we’ll not mention it, then. But do you have any reason to think yourself in danger? What would be wrong with you?”  
“No, I do not. I do not have any pain, and my body shows no injury. Since I wished to consult a Healer, though, I am here for a checkup visit.”  
“Very well, then.”  
The Healer checked Lily over. In many ways the checkup seemed the equivalent of a visit to a Muggle doctor, but it involved far fewer pieces of equipment — the Healer carried everything out with her wand. At the end of the checkup, the Healer asked, “Mrs. Potter, do you think you could be pregnant? Have you been trying? Sometimes it takes a few weeks of pregnancy to feel its effects on your body.”  
“My husband and I have been trying,” Lily admitted. “I suppose that could answer the question, although I’m not sure it would qualify as something ‘wrong’ with me. But wouldn’t it be too early to tell? Perhaps I am pregnant, but it is too early in the pregnancy to detect it through tests.”  
The Healer stood. “Mrs. Potter, as a result of our improvement of the testing process over hundreds of years, we can tell whether females are pregnant within a week of conception. If there is any uncertainty regarding the test results, a warning signal will let us know of that.  
“Now, please lie back for me.”  
The Healer placed her wand on Lily’s abdomen, and then extracted a glowing substance, which she tipped into a vial. She then left the room and returned in another half hour. “The results say that you are indeed pregnant, Mrs. Potter. There is no sign of uncertainty or doubt, so we can rest assured of the results. Congratulations!”  
Lily raised a shaking hand to her mouth. She was? Really? Then - was it possible that the Harry Potter on the prophecy label was her son? “Madam? Can you tell me the gender of the baby?”  
“I am afraid your body hasn’t decided what it should be yet.”  
“It hasn’t decided?” How was a decision to be made on what the prophecy had said already?  
“The baby, it seems, was conceived about two weeks ago, so there are parts of the pregnancy that are still being decided. Your Healer for the pregnancy process will be able to give you more specific information.”  
Lily squinted. “And - forgive me for all of my questions, but I am Muggle-born and not used to wizarding pregnancy care.”  
The Healer shook her head. “No, that’s quite all right. Don’t worry about that — that’s what you pay us for.”  
“Thank you,” Lily said. “How then will I choose a Healer for my long-term process?”  
“The receptionist will send you a questionnaire in a day or two. Part of that will be the method of choosing a long-term specialist. You may change hospitals, but we do not advise that. You should do that well in advance of your first appointment at two months. As always, if you have any questions, we advise you to make an appointment in person.”  
“Thank you.” Lily paid for the visit and returned home, where she made some tea, remembering the tea in her office that she would never get a chance to drink now. James was there, home for lunch from his meeting with the Order. He looked at her questioningly. “Shouldn’t you be at work?”  
Lily blinked. She knew where she should be. “James, I was just at St. Mungo’s.”  
His eyes narrowed. “Why? Are you all right?” he asked instantly.  
“Yes, yes, I’m fine.” She tried in vain to contain her smile. “I have some news for you.”

 

[1] Found in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix page 780


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

One day in November, Dumbledore visited their house. Lily prepared him tea and biscuits while he discussed the affairs of the Order with James on the sofa. When she finished preparing their tea, Dumbledore asked her, “Lily, how is your work in the Department of Mysteries?”  
Lily set the tray down and sat on the couch. “It is going well, thank you, sir. Only there was something odd I found the other day in the Hall of Prophecy.”  
“Yes?” Dumbledore asked.  
“You understand the rules regarding the prophecies kept there?”  
“Yes, I do,” he said. “That no one may remove the prophecies from the shelves save the subjects.”  
Lily told her story to him and to James, who looked confused. “Well, the other day, part of my job was to look after the prophecies in the Hall. Some of the row was a bit slanted, and one of the prophecies looked like it was going to fall, so I picked it up to reposition it on the shelf. It was then I realised what was odd - I was able to touch it, to remove it from the shelf.”  
Dumbledore blinked, almost as if he already understood. “Do you remember which prophecy it was?”  
Lily reached for a biscuit. “Yes, I looked straight away at the names on the label. But it involved neither James nor myself — only Lord Voldemort and some others called Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom. Potter is a common name, I know, but Neville Longbottom - do you think he might be related to Frank and Alice?”  
Lily took a sip of her tea as Dumbledore asked, “Lily, did you view this prophecy?”  
“No, sir. I thought I would talk to you and to James first. See, viewing a prophecy is a powerful thing.” As McNamara had told them all.  
“Of course it is.”  
“But sir-" James said.  
“Yes? What is it?”  
“Just the other day, Lily went to St. Mungo’s, and she had some news for me when she returned.” James smiled at Lily. “Should we tell him, do you think?”  
Lily grinned. “I’m pregnant, sir.”  
Dumbledore sighed. “Yes. I thought you would be.”  
Lily narrowed her eyes. “But - sir? What’s wrong?”  
“You see, I know a bit more about that prophecy — it was made to me.”  
“Due to the initials, I thought it might be.”  
“I think it would clarify matters the most if we viewed it now.” Dumbledore raised his wand to his temple and extracted the memory. He then threw it inside the Pensieve he had pulled out of his bag.  
When they finished viewing the memory, James smiled, met with stares of disapproval. “What?” he asked. “This as good as tells us that through this child, the war will be over! Isn’t that what we’ve been waiting for?”  
Lily put her arm around his shoulder. “Professor Dumbledore is less than happy, dear, because he knows what Voldemort will want to do about it.”  
“Yes,” Dumbledore said. “The prophecy could have been about two different individuals, for Alice Longbottom is also pregnant. However, intelligence I have received tells me that Voldemort will focus on your unborn son rather than the Longbottoms’. I suspect he will try to attack the child before he comes of proper age, or even before his birth. We must decide on the safest course of action for you both.”  
“And the Longbottoms?” Lily asked. “If you protect us, would he not attack them as the easier target?”  
“That is a possibility, and I will meet with them regarding it. I do, though, suspect that Voldemort will keep to the course of action he has chosen now. It would be wise to plan to move quickly. Lord Voldemort already knows Lily is pregnant, you see.”  
“But how?” Lily asked. “I’ve only known myself for a few days.”  
“Who was there when you picked up the prophecy?”  
Lily poured herself more tea. “No one. Only my partner.”  
Dumbledore said, “He must have someone in St. Mungo’s, then. You must take care in the next months to come up with the best plan for your safety.”  
“Professor,” James asked, “When did you hear this prophecy?”  
“About a week ago.”  
“Why did you not come see us then?”  
“Lily can tell you that.”  
Lily turned to face James. “I learned from Professor McNamara that much of the harm in prophecies can be done by warning the subjects.”  
“Yes. But when I learned that Voldemort would attack the two of you in specific, I thought that I had no choice but to meet with you.” Dumbledore cleared his throat. “As well, this threat is one that will take much of your time. You both will need to stop your Order work. You will still be able to be members, but you cannot do the work you have been doing. And Lily, you will need to give notice at the Department of Mysteries.”  
“But sir - I said I’d work there just a few months ago!”  
“Please, Lily.” He raised his hands. “Now, I have asked Professor McGonagall to meet with us on Monday evening to discuss possible solutions to this situation. In the meantime, I ask that you try to brainstorm all of the solutions the two of you can. And please, keep this meeting, and all future meetings, private. We do not know who may be working against us.”  
James asked, “Sir? I may tell Sirius, Remus, and Peter, though? I would trust each of them with my life.”  
Dumbledore picked up a biscuit. “Very well. But no one else, please.”  
Lily nodded. “Yes, sir. Is there anything else?”  
“Try to keep safe. Although I think it would take Lord Voldemort some time to get an attack together, you never know when it may come. Plus, other things than Voldemort may harm you, you know. And then where would we be?” He paused. “Look both ways before you cross the street.”  
“Yes, sir.”  
“Good. I will see you two soon.” Dumbledore stood and Apparated out of the house. Lily and James looked at each other and finished their tea.  
“We’ll be okay,” Lily said.  
“Yes. I know we will.”  
They sat in silence, thinking about the best and worst thing that had happened to them at the same time.  
The next evening, Sirius asked, “So, James, what is it?”  
James cleared his throat. “Lily and I had a meeting with Dumbledore last night. He told us that the end of the war may be nigh.”  
Remus looked up. “Why, how wonderful!” He paused. “Wait, why do you look so serious? This is what we’ve been waiting for, isn’t it?”  
“Yes, it is,” Lily said. “But you see, it’s the way the end will happen. Voldemort, you see, means to attack the two of us.”  
“Really?” asked Sirius. “Why would he do that?”  
“There has been a prophecy said to Dumbledore. Voldemort heard about it too, somehow. The person who can defeat him is… is our unborn son.” She squinted. “So Dumbledore felt he had to meet with us, to warn us.”  
“What will you do, to keep yourself safe?” Remus asked.  
“We haven’t decided yet,” said James. “We are meeting with McGonagall on Monday to talk some more about it.”  
“Can’t you make your home Unplottable?” Peter asked.  
“But that only affects its position on a map,” Sirius said. “And if he learns where the house is by other means, he can still go. What else protects Hogwarts?”  
James added, “It is protected from Muggle viewers. Well, we could do that, but Voldemort isn’t a Muggle, is he?”  
Lily sighed. “So, meeting with McGonagall. Transfiguration. What can Transfiguration do for Defence?”  
“You know, who you really should be meeting with is Dearborn,” Peter said.  
“Yes, we will do that soon enough, I’m sure.”  
On Monday, as Lily came home from work, she saw McGonagall and James sitting around the kitchen table. “Lily,” McGonagall asked, “Did you remember to hand in your notice at the Department of Mysteries?”  
“Yes, I did.”  
“Good. Now, I have been consulting my books on what we can do to mount a proper defence.”  
“I must confess, Professor,” James said, “I was talking to my friends about this last night, and they couldn’t see how Transfiguration will help us.”  
“Yes, that is true. However, I hope you both remember that I am not only a Transfiguration professor at Hogwarts.” She gave them both a stern look. “As Deputy Headmistress, I have a certain access to magical resources and information. Also, as Head of Gryffindor House, I bear a proclivity for certain dangers and high-risk endeavours you are likely to face.  
“Please let me reiterate, though, that especially you, Mrs. Potter, should not consider self-Transfiguration. It may harm the child you are now carrying.”  
Professors Dearborn, Slughorn, and Flitwick also met with the Potters to give their advice. “It really is too bad that we cannot meet with Professor McNamara about the prophecy. We could meet with the new professor, Professor Trelawney, but Seers are always hopeless when discussing their own prophecies.”  
Lily nodded. “Yes, that is true.”  
“Now, do we have any ideas at all as to how to settle matters?”  
Dumbledore picked up a large, heavy book and placed it on the table. “I was perusing old spell books the other night, and I found one that should work.” He turned the book around.  
James looked at the page. “The Fidelius Charm?”  
“Yes. It was popular a few centuries ago, but it has since passed out of regular usage. You see, Lily, James, the way it works is that you tell a friend a certain secret, such as the location of your home, and then no one else, even if they know the secret, can tell anyone.”  
“I see,” Lily said. “Sir, it sounds as though that spell might work, but I am almost certain that Voldemort knows already where we live. If it will not affect his memory, won’t he still know?”  
“Oh, you’ll have to move, of course. But not until we are able to perform the spell. The location until then will have to be absolutely secret, so that he does not stand a chance of finding out.”  
“Should we move to one of my family’s other houses?” James asked.   
Lily wrinkled her forehead. “Or perhaps to one of my family’s places in Muggle Britain?”  
“No,” Dumbledore said. “It must be somewhere wholly unknown. I will start thinking of possible locations tonight. The next question is who you will choose as your Secret-Keeper.”  
“Sirius,” James said without a pause.  
Lily looked over at him, and Dumbledore did too. “Well.” He stood. “We can go over the details of the spell on our next meeting. The day after tomorrow?”  
“Certainly.”  
As soon as he had gone, Lily asked James, “Really? Sirius?”  
“I know you are not best friends with him, but if I trusted anyone to protect me and you, I would trust Sirius.”

Dumbledore sat across from them and said, “I have heard, you see, from a reliable source, that one of your close friends will turn out to be a spy for Voldemort.”  
“Sirius won’t be,” James said. “I’m sure of it.”  
“Yes, well,” Lily asked, “What do you recommend, Professor?”  
“I am prepared to be your own Secret-Keeper, if you wish.”  
“Why, Professor,” Lily said, “you are our friend, too.”  
Dumbledore laughed. “That’s kind to say, Lily, but not quite on the same level of friendship as you are with Mr. Pettigrew, Mr. Lupin, and Mr. Black. For this reason, I feel that I would avoid this difficulty.”  
“But Sir,” James said, “Surely Voldemort, once he learns the charm we are using, he will move not only to attack us, but also to attack our Secret-Keeper.”  
“That is correct. My research into the charm, though, tells me that the Secret-Keeper cannot reveal your location by force.”  
“Right.” James stood up. “Lily and I will talk about this tonight. Thank you.”  
As Dumbledore walked out of the house, an owl flew through the window. James read its letter and told Lily, “Sirius wants to meet with us tonight about his part as Secret-Keeper.”  
“All right,” Lily said. “It will be good to talk to him about it all.”

“Yes, I thought there might be one,” Sirius said. “I think it might be Remus.”  
“What?” said Lily. “Why?”  
“He is part of-"  
“You are not making this about his being a werewolf, I’m sure! It has no bearing on how good of a person he is — you know that. Goodness, you even all became Animagi just to help him! Surely you understand that he is a good man.”  
“Yes, Lily, of course we do.”  
“James? You’re siding with Sirius too?”  
“Yes. I believe I already know his logical points, Lily, and if you just let him state them, you’ll see that they make sense.”  
“The first is.” Sirius said, "that the lot in general of werewolves will be more advantageous if Voldemort wins the war, whereas if we do, it will be the same, unfortunately, as it has ever been. You have seen how he is afraid even to tell the Order of his condition, and you know the way Voldemort has been recruiting werewolves and offering them power.”  
“What else?” Lily said coldly.  
“The second is this. Simply, I doubt that Remus specifically wants your child to exist.”  
Lily stood. “That is ridiculous! There is nothing, nothing there. There never has been. How many times must we say it?” She faced Sirius. “So I have heard your two points. Will you hear mine?”  
“Certainly.”  
“The first is this. As far as giving up an important secret, the one who did that was you, in fifth year. Whereas Remus never has. I did not learn that the four of you are Animagi until I married James.” Sirius nodded but said nothing in reply.  
James rose, a confused expression on his face. “But, that means-"  
“He had a practical lesson in how hurtful it is not to keep secrets.” Lily glared at Sirius. “It means that no matter how Voldemort cajoles, even tortures him, he will keep ours.” She brushed her hair aside and continued. “And my second point is that Remus does not care for anyone but the four of us. Sure, he is a werewolf, but that does not affect his position in this war, and Voldemort knows that. He hasn’t approached him even once for recruitment. And see, if he were the spy, that would cause James, me, and the baby to die. Remus could never even be okay with that. No matter what, never forget that Remus was always your friend too.”  
Over the next few days, James and Sirius banded together, keeping Remus and Peter out. Remus asked Lily, “He thinks I’m a spy, right?”  
“Yes,” Lily said. “Dumbledore told us that one of our friends would be one. We talked to Sirius the other day, and that is what he thinks.”  
“Well, I am not.” He paused. “I am not. You know that, right?”  
Lily passed a hand over her eyes. “Yes, I do. Of course I do. But if it is not you, it must be someone.”  
“If the information is correct.”  
“Yes. So what do you think?”  
He raised his eyebrows. “I am not sure it is anyone. However, I would suspect Sirius.”  
“Sirius? Why?”  
“The primary reason to point a finger at someone is to deflect suspicion from yourself. Maybe he is doing that.” He got up. “Should I talk to James about this?”  
Lily shook her head. “You know how close James and Sirius have been these past days. I’ll talk to him about it.”  
But nothing, it seemed, could change James’ mind on the Secret-Keeper. Only a few hours later, Sirius sat with them over the coffee table once more. “I think the Secret-Keeper should be Peter.”  
Lily asked, “Peter? Not you?”  
“Yes.”  
“But we’ve already told Dumbledore it will be you,” James said.   
Sirius returned, “Let him still think it’s me. Let everyone think it’s me. That way, whoever the spy is will think so too.”  
“But they’ll go after you then.”  
Sirius clenched his fist. “Yes, they will. But I will have nothing to tell them. So your secret will be kept.”  
Lily said, “Dumbledore said that even the Secret-Keeper cannot reveal the secret under duress.”  
“And that might be true. But better to be careful, right?” He faced Lily. “I know the two of us have never been the close friends you and Remus have been, and that you would rather distrust me than him. Think of this. This way, I will not be the Secret-Keeper. And neither Remus nor I had any reason to suspect Peter. So really, he would be the best choice whoever the spy is.”  
“That’s a good point,” Lily said. “I just am not sure about not telling Dumbledore.”  
“I think that is what we should do,” said James. “I think Sirius sounds right about this. Let’s call Peter here.”  
A moment later, he sat in front of them. “Really?” he asked. “You trust me that much?”  
“Yes,” James said. “So,” Lily asked, “will you do this for us?”  
“I am — well, not the best at spells.”  
“You see, Dumbledore must not know you are the Secret-Keeper, nor anyone else. Sirius will go to the meetings with him. Then he will teach you what he learned.”  
“Okay,” Peter said. “Thank you for trusting me this much. I swear, I won’t let you down.”

Dumbledore peered, none the wiser, across his desk and into Sirius’ eyes.  
“Mr. Black, you understand what you have agreed to do?”  
“Yes, Professor, I do.”  
“The spell, beside being essential to your friends’ safety, is a complicated one. It is also formulaic. There are a series of seven questions you must answer.”  
“Seven?”  
“Yes. Seven is-"  
“A highly magical number,” Lily added. Her Arithmancy classes had taught her that.  
“Give me the words, and I will memorise them.”  
“I am afraid it is not quite so simple as that. The meaning of the words has been written, yes, but each spell caster is slightly unique, so the words change to reflect that. And as the magic in the spell comes from you, the words must as well.  
“Now, the opening words, the ones that set up the spell itself, are similar to that of an Unbreakable Vow. The binder in that spell cannot be one of the two parties involved. For that reason, I will do that part. The next, the hallowing of the Secret-Keeper, the Potters will do.”  
“We will work on it tonight, then. I know the spell must take place as soon as possible — perhaps in early January?”  
“Yes, that should work. Make sure to conserve your energy as well, the three of you — the spell will sap much of your strength.”  
As soon as they had left Dumbledore’s office, Lily asked Sirius for the umpteenth time, “Are you sure we shouldn’t tell him?”  
“Yes,” Sirius said. “We don’t know who this spy is. I just know that it’s not me, and it’s not Peter. I don’t know about anyone else, even Dumbledore, so I think we should keep this as secret as we can. For safety’s sake.” His eyes glinted as he added, “I would die if anything happened to you, you know.”  
“We know, mate,” James said.  
Lily squinted. “But do you think Peter is up to all this? It sounds like a rather complex spell, you know.”  
Sirius squeezed her shoulder. “Don’t worry Lil, we’ll get him ready in plenty of time.” Reading her still uncertain face, he added, “Hey, I know we haven’t always been the best of friends, but you are now my sister-in-law. And Prongs is, and has always been, my brother. So I will get you through this if it is the last thing I do.”  
“Thanks, mate,” James said, wiping his face.  
“Right,” said Peter. “Seven? Really?”  
“Yes, seven. Just say over and over how you vow to keep the secret. We can help you come up with the words.”  
“Do they need to rhyme?” Peter asked nervously.  
“No,” Sirius said, laughing, “don’t worry. Plus, they should go with the questions Lily and James ask.”  
“True,” said James. “Looks like Lily and I have some writing before us too, don’t we?”  
“It looks like we do,” Lily said. “But it looks like all of these question-and-answer series have a common theme. They all ask, again and again, whether you will be our Secret-Keeper and whether you swear to it.”  
Peter gulped. “And this should be ready when?”  
“As soon as is possible,” said James. “Hey, just pretend it’s an essay for Transfiguration. It’ll be fine, just like before.”  
“Except if I mess up, I don’t fail,” Peter said. “I get all my friends dead.” His head dropped. “Oh, why did I even agree to do this?”  
“Because you know you can,” Sirius said. “Like we did, when we asked you. We wouldn’t do this if you couldn’t. I’ll help you, look!”  
“All right,” Peter said.  
The next week was one of agonised checking on Peter and his house. Sirius was there almost every day to see if he needed help writing his lines, but he was always met with the same, “I have to write it myself, Dumbledore said. You can’t help me.”  
Still, it was a week and a half before the spell was ready to be performed.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

Lily sighed as she continued packing, and James looked over from his own suitcase. “All right there?” he asked.   
“Yes,” Lily sighed. “It’s just — there’s so much to do, so much I never thought of. You know, when we joined the Order I thought I might die, but this I never envisioned.” She pointed at her nearly full suitcase, and James stifled a laugh.   
“Yeah, I thought there would be a bit more action too. Funny how things work, isn’t it?”   
The two resumed their packing in silence. A few minutes passed, then Lily straightened and wiped her brow.   
“Well, I think that is it,” Lily said, moving to the living room. “There’s something I have to do, though. What time is it?”   
“Quarter of eleven,” James called after her. “Why?”   
“I’m going to Floo Petunia just before we go,” Lily replied. “But I’ll have to wait until midnight, I think, just for safety’s sake.”   
James came in to join Lily. He smiled. “Avoiding Vernon, are we?”   
“Yes,” Lily admitted. “But you know what Petunia told me – I can’t get him involved in this.”   
“But – it’s so late,” James protested. “Doesn’t he go to sleep at nine or so? And what about your sister?”   
“Petunia knows to wait up for me,” said Lily. “And, true enough about Vernon, but you never know if he wants an extra glass of milk before bed.” She tilted her head. “Look, I’m only going to wait a bit more before I call. I’ll be ready on time, I promise. Why don’t you check on everything with the Order?”   
James nodded and Disapparated. Lily sighed and looked at the clock. Eleven. Just one hour more…. The minutes passed, slowly, one by one, until midnight came. Lily sprinkled Floo powder and put her head into the flames, for the last time. Petunia’s face swam into view, along with her spotless living room.   
“Petunia,” Lily said. “Are you alone?”   
“Yes, of course,” said Petunia. She glanced hastily around. “Vernon has been asleep for a few hours, and at this time, no one in this neighbourhood would be on the street.” She frowned. “Lily, what’s wrong?”   
“Oh,” Lily said, “You can never be too careful. So, how are you?”   
“Lily,” Petunia began, “I have to tell you something. I’ve just found out that I’m pregnant!”   
“Oh, Petunia,” gasped Lily, “that’s wonderful, it is! Have you told Vernon?”   
“Yes,” said Petunia, smiling. “He, too, is very happy.”    
She began to speak more seriously. “I know you do not exactly approve of Vernon, nor does he like you or James. But he is good to me, and he will be a good father to our child.”   
“I’m glad to hear it, really, I am,” said Lily. “And I have to tell you – I’m pregnant too!”   
“Congratulations, Lily,” said Petunia. “That is wonderful to hear.”   
“Anyway,” Lily broke in, “I don’t have long. There are some things I must tell you. I know my life and the wizarding world aren’t your cup of tea, but this is for your own protection, so please listen.   
“Now, the last letter I sent you had the name of a dark wizard. You can’t say his name or he’ll know to attack you; don’t speak it or write it, not to anyone, even Vernon. But you need to know it, and the name of his group of followers, Death Eaters. So if you hear anything about Death Eaters, You-Know-Who, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, the Dark Lord, or that name, take Vernon and go away, on vacation, or with your friends, just far from magic. Tell no one where you’re going. Got that?”   
“Yes,” Petunia whispered shakily.   
Lily pursed her lips and went on. “I’m sorry to scare you, Petunia, and probably nothing will happen, but You-Know-Who is coming for James and me personally now, so we have to go into hiding just as soon as I finish this call.   
“You-Know-Who might come after you if he thinks you know where I am. So here is what you must do:   
“I will not contact you by this fireplace again. So I will sever the connection, but you should destroy the grate and stop up the chimney. Tell Vernon that you want to try an artificial fireplace.   
“Next, convince your friends, Vernon, everyone, that you haven’t seen or heard from your sister in years. I will send you a card when I have my child; you must appear not to care and throw it away at once.   
“Do all that. I will have people keep an eye on you. And I will come see you, face-to-face, to tell you when it’s safe. Not call or write — visit.  Not send anyone. Only trust what you hear from me.  
“Now, is all that clear?”   
“Yes, it is,” muttered Petunia. “Anything else?”   
“No – wait, one more, said Lily. “If I have a child, and if something happens to James and me — now, don’t argue, I only said ‘if’ – I need you to promise me you will take the child. Family blood can be powerful protection, not just for him, for you and your family too. So tell Vernon, I don’t know — that my friends are bad influences, that you and Vernon can give the child a proper nonmagical upbringing. Tell him — but promise me now.”   
“I must do what I must,” said Petunia. “I will not leave your child alone and unprotected.”   
“Thank you,” gasped Lily. “Now, Petunia, I really must be off. Just – Petunia, I love you. Always.”   
“Lily,” replied Petunia. “You are my sister, and I may not always like you, but I love you still.”   
“Farewell, Petunia,” Lily said, and her face blinked out of the fire.   
Lily pulled her head out of her fireplace and looked around the empty room. She sighed and stood, picking up the nearest suitcase. Just then, James walked back into the room, with Remus, Sirius, and Peter following. Sirius spread his arms and said, “Now, Lil, surely you didn’t think we would let you and James leave without a proper send off, did you? We could never do that!”   
He held up a bottle of champagne, and Remus produced five glasses.   
“We are toasting,” Sirius said as he uncorked the bottle, “the most powerful players in our side of this war. This is, doubtless, our greatest advance so far. You-Know-Who is scared, more genuinely afraid than he has ever been.” He grinned. “It won’t be long before he is defeated for good. And all of that is because of you two. You have scared him, truly. So now, to our dear friends.” He filled the glasses and passed them out. “To James and Lily.”   
“James and Lily,” Remus and Peter intoned solemnly.   
Once everyone had taken more than a few sips, Sirius said, “Now to business.” He produced an old water bottle and handed it to James, saying, “This is the Portkey you, Lily, and I will take to Dumbledore and the cottage. Remus and Peter will, I’m sure, see us all tomorrow.”   
Peter and Remus left the room, Remus giving the remaining trio encouraging glances while Peter looked anxiously for directions from Sirius. Once Peter had doubled back, James motioned to Lily to approach the bottle Peter held.   
“Come, Lily,” he said. “The Portkey is about to leave.”   
The three of them stood around the water bottle for a few minutes, being sure to brush it with a finger, until Lily felt the familiar sensation of tugging at her stomach as they sped through the air to the unknown house. When they landed, James and Lily rounded a corner, where they saw Dumbledore awaiting their arrival.   
As he saw the two of them, he pointed up at the two-story cottage, saying, “So, James, Lily, this will be your home. It has been charmed and enchanted thoroughly, and it shall provide a fine amount of protection. It is my hope, of course, that it meets with your personal satisfaction as well.”   
Lily replied, “Yes, this looks quite nice, thank you.”   
And it did. It was a two-story cottage, much larger than their flat in London, with a garden in back.   
James nodded and added, “Yes, thank you, Professor.”   
Dumbledore spread his arms. “Well, first things first, I suppose. Is Mr. Black here?”   
“Not yet, Professor,” James informed him. “He will be Apparating in shortly. But since he is not needed for this part of the spell, he said for us to begin, if that’s all right, sir.”   
Dumbledore nodded and he beckoned to Lily and James. As they stepped forward, he raised his arms and began to chant.   
“This home shall be the fortress of Lily and James Potter. They have entrusted their dearest friend with its safety. He alone may divulge this location.   
“You, Lily and James Potter, you who trust your beloved friend, shall reap the rewards of your trust. This, your home, will stand as long as your friendship does not fade. May this, the oldest of magics, keep true faith even in the darkest of times.”   
Lily and James together proclaimed, “O wise one, o dearest friend, we hear your words of trust and faith, and we pledge ourselves to keep, as well, the bonds of the magics in our midst, that they never are broken.”   
Dumbledore shouted, “May it be so!”   
They all stood motionless for a time, looking up at the house. Then Dumbledore said briskly, “Well, so that’s settled, then.” He faced Lily and James and continued, “So, you two should remain in this cottage as much as possible. The garden carries the same protection as the house, so you can stay there without concern as well. But under no circumstances are you to leave the village.   
“Now, I am not required for the remainder of the spell, so  I shall return to meet with the Order. Please send me an owl once Mr. Black is able to complete it. You will find your luggage in the various rooms of the cottage, but please do try to sleep as well. After such a mighty spell, we all will need our rest. I do hope you enjoy your first night here.”   
Dumbledore called out a quick “Stay safe!” and then, with a loud crack, he vanished into the night.   
As soon as Dumbledore left, Peter trudged around the corner and stood across from Lily and James. He placed one hand on the house and looked over at the couple, who gave him nods of encouragement. James and Lily took out their wands and began to speak in a loud voice.   
“Peter Pettigrew, you have come here of your own free will, as the Secret-Keeper of us both. As such, you, and you alone, can share this location, and you alone can keep it safe. Do you swear to this?”   
Peter gulped and said, “Yes. I am Peter Pettigrew, and truly do I swear to this.”   
“A second time we ask, that all around you may hear. Do you swear?”   
“Yes, I swear.”   
“A third time, for the past you have known.”   
“Yes, I swear.”   
“A fourth time, for the future you may have.”   
“Yes, I swear.”   
“A fifth time, for the magic you have learned.”   
“Yes, I swear.”   
“A sixth time, by your friendship.”   
“Yes, I swear.”   
“A seventh time, by all that you hold most dear.”   
“Firmly do I swear this. I call on the very core of all magic to hear my oath. May it reward me for fulfilling my pledge, and may it give me true justice if I should fail.”   
“Peter Pettigrew, I claim that you have made this bond as fully as you can. I assert that you will live all the more once you have completed your task, but only a half-life if you do not.   
“So it is, so mote it be!” James and Lily finished together.   
Peter went up to Lily and James and hugged them briefly, whispering, “You’ll be okay.” Then he returned to the Apparition point and left as well.   
Lily and James looked up at the house together. Lily asked, “James, how long do you think we’ll be here?”   
James patted her shoulder, a calming gesture that nonetheless did nothing to dispel her sudden somewhat contradictory feelings of exhilaration and exhaustion at completing such elaborate and powerful magic. She shrugged in an attempt to convey the emotions coursing through her body.    
James sighed and said, “Yeah, Lily, me too. But let’s go in. We should at least set up a few things before we sleep.”   
The two walked, hand in hand, for the first time across the threshold of their new home. Their several boxes awaited them in the living room, and just a few sweeps of Lily’s wand swept them aside to make room for the sofa, the two side tables, and the coffee table. Her body screaming from tiredness, Lily ignored the smaller items, nudging James and saying, “I can’t sleep right yet. But I think perhaps we should at least try.”   
James said, “Very well,” and followed Lily up the stairs to find still more boxes, and the parts of the bed. As James put the bed together, Lily tried to ready her mind for sleep. Then, thanking her lucky stars for the simplicity of moving with magic, she fell onto the bed, fully clothed, and fell fast asleep before she had even begun to collect her thoughts.   
Lily was awakened by the sound of voices in the kitchen, and she heard James’ among them. She wondered, how long had he been up? Why wasn’t he as drained from the spell of the night before? Lily threw on her robe to avoid remaining the last one still abed, and she almost ran down the stairs to the kitchen, where she was greeted enthusiastically by James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter.   
“Lovely place, this,” Sirius said. “It should prove nice enough for — “   
“For hiding?” James burst out bitterly, and Lily saw that she was not the only one on whom the spell had taken its toll.   
“No, James,” Remus broke in. “Well, partially, yes, but also as a point of last defence. I expect you will see a most interesting battle here.” He ran a hand along the banister. “Just look at the two floors there, effectively separating the house.”   
“Yes,” Sirius cut in. “And the way there are so many neighbours, so close, so nothing will take place without leaving witnesses. And it will be easy to call for aid.”   
“And the piano could go right here, right at the foot of the stairs,” Remus continued. “That way it would be easy to send a warning upstairs from below.”   
James brightened at the thought of taking a more active role in the Order’s objectives. Noticing this, Lily began to speak up as well.   
“Yes, I think we can get some nice defence strategies set up today,” she said. “If perhaps you boys could help me?”   
“Of course,” said Remus. “Let us begin here in the kitchen, then.”   
With a flick of her wand, Lily opened the kitchen cabinets, and Sirius guided the dishes in, Vanishing the boxes as he emptied each one. Peter did the same with the glasses, saving five wine glasses. He said cheerfully, as Remus moved the kitchen table and chairs into position, “Now, this seems much more fortified for the moment. Let’s now fortify ourselves.”   
He uncorked a bottle of wine, and Remus Summoned a few sandwiches and held them out sheepishly, saying, “I know they’re not much, but….”   
Each of them grabbed a sandwich and  a glass of wine and sat down. As Lily bit into hers, she realised she had been famished since the night before. She finished her first sandwich in only seconds and eagerly took the one Remus held out to her before she tuned in to the conversation before her.   
“…the rooms been painted and such to your satisfaction?” Sirius, a mortified Lily realised, was asking her. “Because if not, you see, we should do that before unpacking the rest of the boxes.”   
“True enough, Sirius,” Lily replied. “The family and sitting rooms are all right, I think, but I would like some fresh paint for the other rooms.”   
“Very well, then,” said James. “This afternoon, then, we can go see if a shop here has got some nice colours.”   
Lily’s head snapped up sharply. “No, we can’t,” she said worriedly. “Dumbledore said we should stay in the house whenever possible. We cannot go against his directions, not on the first day.”   
“Look here, Lily,” James said, with a bit of desperation eating away at the reasonable tone in his voice. “He told us that we were to be in the house most of the time, not always. What we should never do is leave the village. This,” he raised his head defiantly, “I have accepted and will not do. But at least let me walk around a little bit.”   
Lily nodded. “Okay,” she said. “But you will be careful later?”   
Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but Lily silenced him with a glare.   
“Yes, of course,” said James hopefully.   
“Wonderful,” said Remus cheerfully. “So let’s go find that paint then, shall we?”   
The group stood and walked out the front door. Lily half expected something horrible to happen as she and James left, but their exit was wholly uneventful. A quick walk down the row of shops revealed a grocery store, a clothing shop, a few restaurants and pubs, and a general store. They entered the general store and looked around. The tinkling of the door’s bell brought a squat man to the counter. He cleared his throat and asked, “Yes, how can I help you?”   
Sirius stepped forward and said, “Yes, good afternoon. We are looking for a few cans of wall paint. Would you have those here?”   
The man smiled. “Yes, of course. So, you’re the moving in to that new house, are you?”   
They looked at one another in consternation. Lily racked her brains, trying to remember what Dumbledore had said about such situations. Since Dumbledore had lived here, should they expect the people to help them? It really was to much to expect them to live in such a small town without anyone recognising them, right? Or was it? Maybe they should hide, not just from Voldemort, from everyone.   
But before she could draw any conclusion, Sirius spoke up once more. “Yes sir, I am, and my friends are helping me decorate the house. So that’ll be — what were you saying, Sarah?”   
Lily turned; was she this Sarah? “To start,” she stammered out, “you’ll be wanting a goldenrod and a lovely sky blue. You – we might have to come back for more.”   
“Right, then, those two for now,” Sirius said.   
The man disappeared to the back for a few minutes, then reemerged with the two buckets and a roll of Painters’ Spellotape. Lily looked at the buckets, checking the paint colours.   
“Yes, these will work fine,” she said.   
After Sirius paid for the items (with James’ money), the shopkeeper looked him in the eye and said obsequiously, “Thank you for your patronage, sir. My name is Timothy Hornwater, at your service, and I do hope to see you again. I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name, sir?”   
Sirius thought a moment and then replied, “Yes, I am Ted Lacrosse, and these are my friends, Sarah, John, Harold, and Stephen. I thank you for your service, Mr. Hornwater. Good afternoon.”   
They returned to the cottage in silence. When they were back inside the house, James turned to Sirius and asked equitably, “Padfoot, you didn’t really need to make up names for us all, did you?”   
Sirius confidently said, “True, Prongs, he only asked for mine. But you saw the old man — he wanted some good gossip. I know about these people. They ask one thing today, then another tomorrow. My cousin Andromeda told me that you must always feed curiosity with more than it requires, or people will never end with asking for more.”   
They all considered that, then James went on, “Anyway, Lily, which colour goes where?”   
“I was thinking of the goldenrod in the kitchen,” Lily suggested, “and the blue in our room. Will that be okay?”   
“That’ll do us,” James answered, and the five of them took out their wands and began to spread first the tape and then the paint across the kitchen walls.   
As night fell, they continued working, spreading the paint, charming it to dry, and placing paintings and photos on the walls. Lily pointed to the clock they had just hung on the wall, telling the others, “Look. It’s almost ten, and we really should get something to eat. I think the pubs here might close soon.”   
They set out to the row of restaurants and pubs and went into the first one they saw, a wooden building with a swinging sign that read, “The Merry Hippogriff.” They sat down at a table in the centre and ordered shepherd’s pies and a round of butterbeers. Lily sighed and waited patiently for her pumpkin juice. Sirius elbowed her side.   
“Hey, Lil, the Healers guard the baby against alcohol, you know. So have a butterbeer, go on.”   
Lily somehow managed to glare and roll her eyes simultaneously, and James tapped Sirius on the shoulder.   
“I wouldn’t get into it, Padfoot, mate,” he warned. “Lily wants to handle this pregnancy the Muggle way, all hardcore.”   
“Too right,” Lily said, much more lighthearted now that James had spoken up for her — and now that her pumpkin juice had finally arrived.   
The group of young wizards raised their glasses in a silent toast before conversation resumed over piping hot pies. The bartender cleaned glasses without paying any attention to the scene unfolding before her. 


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

It was a Tuesday, and Remus came over, as he often did. Lily led him from the front door to the kitchen, where James sat waiting by a huge stack of biscuits. Remus hesitantly took one.   
“So,” he asked, “how are you adjusting here?”   
“Well, I think, thanks to all your hard work on our move,” James said.   
“Oh,” Remus said, “that was nothing. We were all glad to be there, really.”   
“Well, then,” Lily broke in, smiling. “What is new with you, Remus?”   
Remus looked up and cleared his throat. “You see, Lily, I’m going to have to leave for a bit.”   
Lily looked up in confusion, and James asked, “Are you sure, mate?”   
“Yes, quite sure,” Remus replied. “It’s undercover work for the Order, you see, with… other werewolves. To see how they will fight and what they know. I’m afraid outside contact will not be allowed, so it seems this is goodbye for now.”   
“But,” Lily asked, “this will just be for a couple of weeks, won’t it?”   
Remus turned his head. “No, I’m afraid not, Lily. It will need to be for at least a year or so, so I can establish a good cover. I am truly sorry to miss your son’s birth.”   
James looked up and said, “No, mate, that’s no trouble. Our concern here is for you, only you. So, what will you be doing?”   
“Well,” Remus began, “they, as I’m sure you know, prefer to keep to themselves, eschewing the general wizarding community. For this reason, it is very difficult to gain information about these communes. With the war, though, this information is of paramount importance to the Order. So I shall find it out.”   
“But Remus,” Lily asked worriedly, “they don’t like the others. I mean, they hold wizards like us in contempt, don’t they? So what will happen to you if you are found out?”   
“You see, Lily,” Remus smiled, “that is why I must take the time to build a good cover.”   
Lily nodded, and James asked, “But Dumbledore will help you, right?”   
“Yes, of course,” Remus replied. “I’ve been meeting with him frequently to discuss the upcoming mission. He feels confident that I will meet with no undue difficulty. Of course, my greatest advantage will be that I can undergo the transformations that render them separate from most others.”   
“I see,” James said with a smile. “So, your furry little problem is no longer a problem, is it?”   
Remus smiled back. “Yes, I suppose that is true. Now, if we can just look at your map, James, I will show you which commune I plan to join.”   
They moved to the living room, in front of the map on the wall. Remus formed a circle around the map with his finger.   
“Now,” he said, “we – Dumbledore and myself — only know of the communes in this area, in Britain. We are aware of twelve.” He pointed to an area in northern England. “I will be in this one, in a particularly critical area, one where we may have a bit of a foothold.”   
Remus looked at Lily and said, “I cannot go into any detail on my cover story now. But I will be fine; you know I will.”   
The three sat in silence. After a few minutes and glances between Lily and Remus, James stood and said, “I think I’ll go make us some tea. I’ll be right back.”   
“Well, Lily,” said Remus, “I’m going. I am. We’ll just be on our respective Order missions now.”   
Lily pressed her lips together. “I know,” she said. “And it’s all right, it really is. It’s just that I’m a bit jealous is all. You should be happy with your mission.”   
“I am” Remus said slowly. “But why on Earth would it make you jealous?”   
“You’re so busy, dong something for the Order,” Lily explained. “While I do nothing.”   
“Your child will end this war,” Remus pointed out.   
“Yes, I am going to have the Miracle Child,” Lily admitted. “And sure, that’s pretty great, but I can’t risk myself or even leave or anything. All I do is sit here and be pregnant.”  
Remus opened his mouth to protest some more, but Lily cut him off. “These negative feelings are all extra emotions, I know,” she said, “but I just can’t  help feeling that all we’re doing is waiting either to win this thing or to die.” In a shaky voice, she added, “I just wish I knew which one we await.”   
“Oh, Lily,” Remus said. “You’ll be fine, you know. As will I. I’m sorry I won’t be able to visit, but day by day, these bad feelings will go away.”   
“I hope they will,” Lily said, wiping her eyes.   
“Sure they will,” Remus said. “Lily, don't-"   
“Remus,” Lily demanded, “do not tell me not to worry.”   
Remus raised his hands in mock surrender. “All right,” he replied. “But then, at least don’t be afraid. Not of him.”   
Lily smiled faintly. “Remus,” she said, “you know me. You know I’ve been afraid most of my life.” Ignoring Remus’ look of concern, she pressed on. “Of giving up my only home, of giving up my only family, of giving up my only friends. And who knows how long I’ll be here, where I’ll go next, who I’ll leave. I feel mysterious and alone.”   
She narrowed her eyes. “So that’s a power he can never have over me. He can never make me feel something I don’t already.”   
They sat in silence for a few moments, and Remus said, “That is not an entirely comforting thought.”   
“I’m sorry,” Lily murmured. “But that is how I feel — alone.”   
“Yes, I know,” Remus answered. “But you know you’re not. Even when I’m gone, you’ll not be alone. Peter is your friend, and you know, Sirius is too. Now, don’t roll your eyes – I know you and he aren’t that close. But see, you can be. He will do anything for you. And, of course, James will always be here. And your home — it’s right there, waiting for your return. Just like we are.”   
“And you?” asked Lily. “Surely you understand that I am afraid for you too. But you will be there waiting for me, won’t you?”    
“Of course I will, Lily,” Remus said. He touched her shoulder.  
“Of course,” Lily said at once. “I am quite sure that your project will be just as unexciting as mine here.”   
She paused and then added, “There is just one more thing, though. You have been keeping an eye on Petunia for me, and thank you for that. But now, you see-"   
“Someone else must do that?” Remus asked, smiling. “Yes, I thought of that, too. Sirius and Peter will certainly take up the watch, and Benjy or someone from the Order can help if there’s a need.”   
“That sounds good,” Lily said with relief. “Now, Remus, one last thing before James comes bursting in.”   
Remus raised an eyebrow. “Oh?” he asked. “What is that?”   
Lily cleared her throat. “Oh, just to wish you goodbye,” she said, cracking a smile.    
She threw her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek, whispering, “Goodbye and good luck. You are my oldest and dearest friend, and I love you.”   
Brushing her eyes, she added, “Now let’s see whether James has quite finished steeping the tea.”   
Remus turned his head to the doorway and just a few seconds later, James walked back into the living room with three teacups floating in front of him. Lily smiled in greeting, realising that his departure had been more for Remus and her than for tea or anything else. She also saw that if she had needed a little while with Remus, James certainly would. She would just have to come up with an excuse to leave, then. Sighing, Lily returned her focus to the nearby conversation.   
“- and Dumbledore will check up on me every so often,” Remus was saying.   
“Right,” James answered. “And I suppose you will have no way to contact us?”   
“I’m afraid not,” Remus confirmed. “I don’t think so. And even if I somehow can, it’s safer not to plan for it, really.”   
Lily stood. “Well,” she announced, “I think I’ll go and fetch the biscuits from the kitchen. I’ll be back.”   
She left the room and crossed to the kitchen in just a few steps. She rummaged around a bit looking for sugar, milk, and some spoons. Then she sat down, trying hard to think of anything else she could get. But she came up with nothing. James had had the tea to steep; was there truly nothing else? Lily then folded her hands, intending to bide her time before she had to return. It then struck her that James had been there, in just the same seat, for just the same reason, only a few minutes ago.   
  Lily sighed and looked at her watch. It seemed to indicate that a good span of time had passed, so she gathered the sugar, milk, spoons, and biscuits, levitating them before her as she walked back to the living room and sat down on the couch beside James and Remus. They had been in the middle of a deep discussion, but when Lily entered, they both looked at her expectantly.   
“Remus,” Lily said. She cleared her throat, ignoring James’ warning glance. “We, both of us, wanted to tell you something. We wanted to say, you see…”   
“You see, Moony, we just want you to know that you’ll be fine,” cut in James with a sideways glance.   
Lily looked over. “Yes,” she said hesitantly. “As you know, there is no need for worry. You’ll be all right, you’ll see. We will all meet again when this is finally over.”   
“Yes,” said Remus, “I’m sure you’re right.” He stood and stretched. “Well,” he added, “I should probably be heading out now.”   
“Yeah,” James said, “We’ll see each other soon. But until then, farewell.”   
“Goodbye, James, Lily,” said Remus, heading to the door.   
“’Bye, Remus!” Lily called after him.   
As soon as the door closed behind him, she turned to James and insisted, “I think we should have told him, you know. It isn’t right, him being the only one left out like this.”   
“No,” James protested.   
Lily felt her face heat up, and her ears blocked the rest of James’ words.   
“James,” she began in a cold voice, “surely you don’t still think he could be the spy, not after we both have told you a hundred, a thousand times that nothing happened, not ever.”   
James sighed. “Lily, there are other reasons to spy, other reasons he could turn against us.”   
Lily raised her eyebrows, and James added, “But I don’t think he is — you’re probably right, of course. Only – really, what good would it do him now that he’s going away for so long? We can tell him when he gets back and the news will actually be useful.”   
Lily pursed her lips and nodded. “Yes,” she said thoughtfully. “He could get in trouble for knowing such a secret, and we wouldn’t want that.”   
“No, we wouldn’t,” James said lightly. He patted Lily’s shoulder, and his hand found hers. He turned her back to the front door, and together they walked to the garden in the back. 

Lily had to confess that there were some aspects to her new life that she never imagined. For example, she and James could hardly eat every meal for the next year or so at a pub. Nor could there be house elves to cook their meals. In a few days, Lily began to discover the difficulties of cooking. She struggled for a few months with learning how to prepare food, but after the twentieth ruined dinner, even she could see that she needed someone’s help.  
“But who do I ask?” she asked James. “Bathilda Bagshot is the only person here I would trust to spend that long in the kitchen, but she would be so superior - I just know it!”  
“Let’s see,” said James. “Who else do we know? Well, that leaves Sirius, Remus, and Peter. And the Hogwarts elves.”  
Lily rolled her eyes. “Yes. I should call them, during their busy school year, to help me cook.”  
“All right.” He started ticking off his fingers. “Remus isn’t here, and we can’t call him. Sirius is none too great as a cook. But what about Peter? He spends the most time cooking out of any of us. I’m sure he would be happy to give you a few tips.”  
“Okay, sounds good,” Lily said.  
It was not long until Peter stood in the front hallway. James grinned at them and snuck up the stairs.  
“So,” Peter asked, “what do you know?”  
Lily sighed. “How to make tea,” she said.  
Peter nodded. “All right,” he said. “Let’s start with the basic spells to light the stove and oven. Once we have those down, we can go through a few basic recipes.”  
“Okay,” Lily said. “Where did you learn to cook?”  
“I did a lot of the cooking at home. Right, the basic spell to produce fire is one I think you know: Incendio. However, you must be careful to point your wand directly at the burners. You do not want any sort of an explosion.”  
“All right. So: Incendio.” Lily lit the stove, marvelling at how much easier it was than using matches.  
Peter nodded and opened one of the cabinets. “Yes. Good. And let’s start with cooking on the stove. It’s a little easier than cooking in the oven, since it’s more plainly visible. Okay, so what’s for dinner? Let’s do bangers and mash. We are using instant mashed potato mix. You can make it fairly easily from scratch, but that is more complicated and also takes up more room. So let’s stick the bangers in a frying pan and direct it over the stove. You will need to wave your wand every so often so that they will turn over.”  
Lily did that. “And you cook them until they look warm, with a few black marks. Now, pour the instant mashed potatoes into another pot, add water, and place it as well over the stove. Now when it’s warm, they both will be ready.”  
After dinner, Lily asked, “And what about other foods? That was easy to make, but we can hardly eat that every day.”  
“True. Let’s make a shepherd’s pie.”  
The two of them worked in the kitchen until ten o’clock, and by the end, they had made enough food for the next week. “Now, let’s learn another important step: how to reheat food. You see, some days you will be too tired to cook a full meal. So what I recommend is that when you have time and feel well, cook enough food for a few days’ lunches and dinners.” He held up a lasagna. “For example, let’s say that you are hungry and have this in your pantry. It is simple to reheat it, and it will not take long. Step One: Place it in the oven. Step Two: When it seems warm, take it out and try it. If it is not warm yet, put it back in the oven until it is. Does that make sense?”  
Lily wiped her hands on her apron. “Yes, I rather think it does. Thank you, Peter. Thank you so much. We were going a bit stir crazy with nothing to do.”  
“I always try to do what I can.”  
After Remus left, Lily only really had one friend, Peter. And he could do a fair amount — but not everything. As James kept reminding her on a daily basis, Sirius now was a much healthier individual than he had been in fifth year. Therefore, when Sirius visited the cottage, Lily tried more and more to talk to him even when James was out. In late April, he called her to meet with him in the town square, in a gesture that Lily was almost certain James had initiated. He held a cat in his arms.  
“Sirius, this is very — your Animagus is a dog!”  
“I know. I liked this one. And I know how you missed having a cat around.”  
“This is for me? Thank you!” She narrowed her eyes. “Why did you do this?”  
Sirius straightened and smiled. “To be friends,” he said. “Lily, we haven’t been close, I know. We’ve gotten along, more or less, but we haven’t been the best of friends. But now that Remus is away, both of us lose many of our friends. I think it would benefit us both to be friends with each other. And I hope this cat will show you I mean it.”  
“Yes, it certainly does that.” She smiled. “But why did you think a present like this was necessary?”  
Sirius stood. “If you don’t like it, I can take him back.”  
Lily scoffed. “I didn’t say that.”  
“I know.” Sirius gulped. “I just bought him in the spirit of friendship. Not to buy you off. I am sorry for our past disagreements, and for what I did to Remus.”  
Lily nodded. “I’m sorry too.”  
“Why?”  
She looked down. “Because I was mean to you. I disagreed with what you did, but I never should have attacked you personally. And I know I should have befriended you before. I was just so mad - I said things to you that — they were in defence of a friend and I can’t take them back.”  
Sirius “Don’t be. Your words hurt at the moment. But they gave me the push I needed to leave that house, to stay with the Potters.”  
She nodded. “You became a much happier and nicer individual after that. I wish I had not been too angry to see it.”  
Sirius smiled and tilted his head. “Yes, I did. But there is one other thing you should know.”  
“Yes?” Lily asked, leaning forward.  
Sirius looked down at his hands. “I know you are mad about the way I suggested to James that Remus was the spy.”  
Lily felt her shielded anger curling in her gut. No, she thought. Friends. I need friends. Just forget it. But - “Yes,” she said. “It did make me mad.”  
“It was no comment on his morality or character,” he said.  
“So what was it?”  
“It was a reflection of the one thing I know.” He leaned in. “Lily, I will never betray you or James. I would die first. And so would Peter.”  
Lily shrugged. “I have to admit, your idea of the swapped Secret-Keeper was a good one. And I know it has been bugging James that we never were friends before.”  
Sirius reached for her hands. “Well, we are friends now, just as we should be.”  
Lily smiled down at the cat. “Good. I’m glad we are. Sirius, as your friend, I would like to ask a favour.”  
“Yes? What is it?”  
She looked back up. “It’s my sister, Petunia. Remus was keeping an eye on her for me. I wonder if you might too? Not every day, just to see how she’s doing.”  
Sirius nodded. “All right. Does she know who I am?”  
“No,” Lily said. “I mean, I told her, more or less. But she might not be the nicest to talk to, and her husband certainly isn’t, so you won’t need to talk to them or let them know you’re there. Just see if the coast around them is clear of dark wizards.”  
“Yeah.” Sirius grinned. “I’ve heard about Vernon. The Trace is going, anyway, so what would I say?”  
“Good point. Speak of the devil, right?”  
“Indeed. So what do we call him now? You-Know-Who?”  
Lily rolled her eyes. “I hate that we can’t call him anything more. But we couldn’t draw him to us, I guess.” She tilted her head. “What would happen if we called him — that — at home? I mean, he can’t find us, right? So how would that work?”  
“I don’t know,” Sirius said. “But - well, you know-"  
“Better safe. Yes, indeed I do.” She pursed her lips. “I don’t know how it’s supposed to be dangerous for me to walk outside, but most days I’m stuck in the house.”  
Sirius nodded.  
“Thank you so much for meeting here instead. I had to be walked here — but even so, it’s so much better.” She shook her head. “It is really starting to drive me crazy, being in the house so much.”  
“Yeah,” he said. “It would me too. But it’s just a few months more, right?”  
“Right.”  
“I’ll try to visit more often. Peter will too.”  
Lily half-smiled. “That sounds great. Thank you.”  
Sirius and Peter visited often at first, but after a few months, their visits petered out. Lily and James were bored at first having nothing to do, but then life in Godric’s Hollow settled into a routine. Every day they woke up early in the morning. James went for a walk while Lily stayed in the house and tried, more or less successfully, to make breakfast. After breakfast, Blodeuwedd brought in the news of the Order, of their friends. But that news began to feel increasingly unreal. It was almost as if Lily and James had slipped into some sort of alternate universe, as if their small world somehow was without conflict and all of the stories from outside were just made up. That feeling came to an end abruptly as Lily opened another day’s worth of mail. She gasped and looked at James.  
“Anna Thomas was killed last night,” she said. James looked down at the paper she was holding. “And we couldn’t help her.”  
“We - you — are carrying the boy who will end the war.” She shook her head as James continued. “But we don’t know when. At least, it won’t be for a few weeks. And Anna was so strong — how were they able to kill her?”  
“His power is greater now. I mean, it must be, right? Which makes what we’re doing all the more important.”  
“I guess,” she muttered.  
Her funeral was in a few days. Lily and James went over to Bathilda’s house, where they were able to use her fireplace to see the event. The long faces there made Lily feel that maybe, just maybe, James was right. It wouldn’t be long until Harry was born and the war was over. And they would all be free. There would be no more funerals.  
With Harry’s due date just around the corner, Lily asked, “James, when witches give birth, where does it usually happen?”  
“At St. Mungo’s. Why?”  
“Well, in my case, I do not think Dumbledore will okay my giving birth there.”  
James’ eyes widened. “Oh, you’re right!”  
Lily continued. “I’m fine going to my pregnancy appointments in Bathilda Bagshot’s house, but I don’t know if I want to give birth there.”  
James wrinkled his forehead. “Where else would it be?”  
“Most births in my family have taken place at home. So maybe here? I am sure the Healer could make it comfortable.”  
“But he said no right away to the idea of a Healer coming inside the house. It’s too bad none of us had any training.” James frowned. “I knew I picked the wrong speciality.”  
Lily widened her eyes. “Or did I?”  
“Lily, calm down. You could hardly do surgery on yourself, Healer or not.” James began to pace. “We need to get Dumbledore in here.”  
Once Dumbledore was on their couch, James asked, “So Lily shouldn’t go to St. Mungo’s, right?”  
Dumbledore turned to face Lily. “No,” he said. “I think that the Dark Lord has someone in St. Mungo’s - that’s how they found out that you’re pregnant, Lily. I realise you do not like going to visit Bathilda for each appointment, but you will just have to. For the sake of your child, Lily. I know you can.”  
“But don’t personal feelings matter in wizarding births even more than in Muggle ones?” Lily asked. “What if I feel less capable or more afraid?”  
“True,” Dumbledore said. “As you so aptly researched, feelings can affect the use of magic.”  
James spoke up. “Professor. If the Healer was one we trusted implicitly, could she come in?”  
Dumbledore picked up his mug of tea. “Perhaps. The trouble is that such a person would be difficult to find at such short notice.”  
Lily began to see James’ idea. “Professor. What about the person who was so trustworthy with the care of Remus Lupin?  
“You see, sir,” she continued, “during most of my pregnancy, I did not wish to bother her, as I knew she would be involved with her primary function, the care of Hogwarts students. However, this is the summer, and the birth, I hope, will be just one event, and not of an overlong duration.”  
“Very well,” Dumbledore said. He set the mug back on the coffee table. “I will ask her, and if she is willing, I will bring her to meet with the two of you.”  
Within a week, Poppy Pomfrey was sitting on their couch, enjoying tea and biscuits.   
“Thank you for agreeing to this, Madam Pomfrey,” Lily said. “It means so much to me that I will be able to give birth at home.”  
“When was the last birth you performed?” James asked curiously.  
Madam Pomfrey laughed. “It has been awhile, nearly — goodness — a decade. However, I still remember the procedure and I am sure that between myself” she tapped Lily “and such a clever mother, we will have no problems.” More seriously, she continued, “I would like, though, you to be present for the occasion. I expect no trouble, but it is always best not to tempt fate.”  
James spread his arms. “Where would I go? Of course I’ll be here. I’ll call Sirius and Peter too.”  
“Great,” said Lily. “Everyone will be here.” She wiped her unexpectedly damp cheeks and walked into the kitchen. James followed her. “What is it?” he asked.  
She half-smiled. “I just wish my parents were here is all.”  
“Yeah.” He took her hands. “I wish mine were here too. But they’re looking at us wherever they are, right?”  
Lily nodded.  
“And it’s not like we’re alone here. We have plenty of people who care about us and want to help.”  
“True. I just wish Remus was here.” Lily sighed as James’ face began to take on a familiar expression. “I know. Just - well, of everyone, he knew my parents the best.”  
“Because the two of you have so much in common.” He sighed. “I know, I know. It’s all right.”  
“But it’ll be good that Sirius and Peter will be here.”  
“And Madam Pomfrey too.” James smiled. “Who would’ve known that our child would have the most professional birth we could imagine?”  
“Yes.” Lily sat down. “Are you all right?” James asked.  
“I’m fine. It’s just that childbirth may be more difficult than I had imagined, too.”  
Despite Lily’s fears to the contrary, Harry’s birth was not a difficult one. It was, in fact, as Madam Pomfrey said, the most normal thing in the world.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I certify that this work is based on the Harry Potter world of JK Rowling.

In January, Lily had feared that James would evade the town and buckle under the weight of their virtual imprisonment. However, as Lily sat sifting through Harry’s baby photographs, it seemed to her that an entire life trapped in one place — or even more than a year — was far too much for the woman who had two jobs, who had fought in battle and worked as a spy.  
“Dumbledore,” she asked one day, “if James or I were to leave Godric’s Hollow, what would happen?”  
“The Dark Lord would be able to find you,” he said.  
“And kill me,” Lily said.  
“And - well,” he mumbled.  
Lily squinted at the wizard. When was the last time Dumbledore had mumbled? “And what, sir?”  
He straightened and looked at her. “Well, he may not want to kill you.”  
Lily shook her head. “Why? I’ve killed Death Eaters - I’ve tried to kill him!”  
“See, that’s because of-"  
It all settled into place. “Because of Severus.” Lily looked up questioningly. “So he wants to kill my husband and my son, just”  
“Just not you.”  
“So really, I can leave, but my husband can’t?” she asked.  
“Well….”  
“Okay, thank you.”  
Lily walked the small gap between Bathilda Bagshot’s house and her own. So, Severus still cared whether she lived or died? But he was okay with the death of her husband and son — her entire family. It was despicable to murder everyone she loved and then expect her to go on. But he was a head Death Eater - the head Death Eater. And this was a move for life, however small. So it was better than nothing, right? Or was it? Lily blinked. The noise around her settled into her name, over and over. James! About one thing Lily was certain. James did not need to know about this. That his old enemy wanted him dead?  
“James,” Lily said one day. “I think we should meet with Severus again.”  
James raised his eyebrows. “What, now that he’s a Death Eater? Now that he will blab our location and Harry’s to his new boss?”  
“No, now that he has had time to think about his life.”  
James wrinkled his forehead. “Lily, are you feeling all right?”  
“Yes,” she said. She reached for a slice of bread. “Not now, later, whenever we can come out of hiding. Because eventually, we will win this war. I know it. And when the war ends, we will want him on our side.”  
“Fine. Send him an owl.”  
Lily did just that the next day. She went to Bathilda’s house and sent Severus a letter. His response was the way she learned of a planned attack on Plas Newydd. Voldemort was calling her out. And Lily could do nothing but answer.  
For hours, she tossed around the question: Should she tell James she was going? Voldemort didn’t want to kill her, so going would be no more dangerous than the Order missions. But Voldemort did want to kill him. He would die if he followed her. And if he knew she was going, wouldn’t he want to? But how could she lie to him like that? How would he ever trust her again?  
At the end of it, she decided. She had to tell him. “James?”  
“Yes, Lily?”  
“I heard You-Know-Who is planning an attack on Plas Newydd. I have to go.”  
James turned around. “Lily. I know it is so important to you. But you cannot. We cannot. He is trying to kill us, see. And Harry needs both his parents.”  
Lily shook her head. “I still have a duty to these people. Even if I’m not Marchioness, even if I have my own world and its own problems.” He opened his mouth. “And I can’t just send someone. My family needs to know that when their need was greatest, I was there.” Her shoulders drooped. “Like I wasn’t before.”  
“Lily-" James said. Then he straightened. “All right. I will go with you, then.”  
“But it’s like you said. Harry needs both his parents. I don’t think something will happen to me, but You-Know-Who will kill you as soon as look at you.”  
“Why? Why you and not me?”  
Because of Severus, Lily thought. “Because he’s not scared of me, I guess. Look, if, if something does happen, Harry will still have one person to protect him when You-Know-Who comes. So you need to stay safe. Stay with him.”  
“Okay,” James said. But it seemed almost too easy to be real. Then he thought. “What if I transfigure myself to look different? Then You-Know-Who won’t want to kill me, and he’ll still think I’m home with Harry.”  
“And who would watch Harry then? There’s just the two of us here, and he can’t leave the house.”  
“There’s the cat.”  
Lily rolled her eyes.  
“No, really, we’ll just ask Bathilda to come over and watch him for a few hours.”  
Lily narrowed her eyes. It all made sense.  
“C’mon, we have a better chance of surviving if we stick together.”  
Lily nodded, and it seemed like they were planning Order missions again. “Okay, to maintain the house's security, we should not Apparate directly between here and Plas Newydd. We should have an in-between location we trust - Sirius’ house.”  
“Two, I think, for safety’s sake. But one doesn’t need to be that far away. We walk to the Quidditch pitch and Apparate to Sirius’ house. Then to Plas Newydd.”  
“What about the other Order members? Are they coming?”  
“I just heard about the attack earlier today. But it sounds like a big one - I should notify them, so we can have more help.” She grinned. “Not that we need it.”  
“Okay. And what time will this be?”  
“At nightfall is what I read.”  
“Lily.” Lily gulped. “Where did you hear this? I mean, we don't know much about the outside world. Everyone else hears about these things before we do.”  
“James. You know how we talked about meeting with Severus? Well, I sent him an owl.”  
“Oh, great. So now-"  
“Now we need to ask Bathilda if she can watch Harry for us.” Lily left the house and walked next door. “How’s the research going?” she asked Bathilda.  
“If this book ever gets written, it’ll be a miracle,” Bathilda said, pushing her hair out of her eyes. “Anyway, Lily, what can I do for you?”  
“We were wondering if you could come over to watch Harry for us on Monday. You can research there and all.”  
“Sure, of course. For how long?”  
“We’re not exactly sure. See, it would be starting in the evening, and over by the morning, I think. So it might be best if you aimed to spend the night there?”  
Bathilda looked up. “What’s this for?”  
“Oh - nothing. We just need to go out for the evening. But it’ll be okay, I promise.”  
“You’re not doing anything dangerous?”  
“No, no. Thank you for agreeing to watch Harry, though.”  
“Sure!”  
Lily went back to the house to update James on the situation. “Okay,” Lily said. “She said she’d do it no problem. So we’re fine.”  
“Yeah, fine except that Severus Snape now has a way to find our house!”  
“James, I sent Blodeuwedd with the letter. I told Severus to give her the response, and he did. And anyway, she delivered it to the town Owlery, not here. Okay?”  
“Okay.”  
“Harry is my son, too. I do know how to be careful. I am the one who stayed faithfully indoors for six months, right?”  
“I know, Lily.”  
“Fine. I don’t want to argue now. Let’s go to Sirius’ house and plan the defence.”  
Sirius spread out a map on the coffee table as soon as they arrived. When as many Order members as possible had appeared, Lily pointed to the map. “So. Plas Newydd is a part of Muggle Wales, so be careful about your Apparition. I would recommend that you Apparate into the woods, here. It is a heavily forested area, and at this time of year, it is not very likely that there will be riders or hunters out. However, please be careful. Try to cause as little disruption as possible, and be careful not to Apparate into the course of a bullet. James and I will enter Plas Newydd at teatime. That will give us a few hours to talk to my aunt and uncle before the attack. Please do not show yourselves before I have a chance to mention you — it will only surprise them.”  
“And about when should that be?” asked.  
“Just before sundown. I will signal to you from outside the house. Please do not approach the house before then. Bran, who looks after the horses, will see you and notify the staff.”  
A few of the Order members rolled their eyes at the mention of so many servants. James added, “Look, I know it seems over the top, such a big household. It did too, even to me, at first. But let’s not forget our job. Our job is to save the innocent people there, whoever they are.”  
“That’s right,” said Gideon Prewett. “So, Lily, where are the best places for us to go once we get there?”  
“Well, actually, I think that we will want to stay outside,” Lily said. “The inside of Plas Newydd has many curves and places to hide, so we’ll want to keep the fight outside as much as possible. However, I don’t think that should be too difficult. None of the Death Eaters, I think, will want to fight inside either. None of them knows the house like I do.”  
“Fine. But what if they are already inside?”  
“I will go in alone to check for any Death Eaters. It must be alone, for two reasons. The first is that none of you knows the house like I do, either. You will all be much more effective outside.” Lily shook her head sadly. “We keep haemorrhaging members. So we must all do the most we can. The second reason is that You-Know-Who has decided to attack here because he wants to fight. So his Death Eaters of course will go where there are more people. That there is only one person inside will keep the fight outside.”  
“But surely I could-" James said.  
“No.” Lily stood. “You cannot stay with me. That would ruin your disguise. And even if it doesn’t, who would always be with me? You would.”  
James nodded. “I will be fine, I promise,” Lily said.  
Lily and James Flooed back to Godric’s Hollow and dropped Harry off with Bathilda. They then returned to the town square and Apparated just outside the front door. There was a party on the lawn. Her uncle waved her over. “Lily, how have you been? And James! How nice to see you! Come in, come in!”  
Lily smiled. “We’re just here to see you. How have you liked being Marquess?”  
“It’s been fairly nice. I made a few changes to the castle, though. I hope that your father would have approved.”  
“I’m sure he would. Times are ever changing, and we must change with them. Is Aunt Vicky here?”  
“Yes, here she is. Isn’t it wonderful, dear? It’s Lily and her husband James!”  
She shook their hands. “How are you? Would you like some tea? Are you staying to supper?”  
“Tea would be lovely, thank you. And yes, we will stay for a bit, if that’s all right.”  
“Of course!” said Aunt Vicky.  
Lily leaned in. “So, what changes have there been recently?”  
Uncle John smiled. “We were able to upgrade the school, with some extra funds.”  
“That’s wonderful!” she gasped. She looked at the window as the light outside began to fade. Her uncle followed her glance and asked, “Lily, why are you really here?”  
“Okay. Uncle John, Aunt Vicky, I know this may seem a bit odd to you, but do you remember the rumours here that I had magic?” He nodded. “Well, those rumours are true, as it happens. I do have magic, and right now I am in the process of fighting a war in the wizarding world.”  
“And there will be an attack here next.”  
“Yes. Around sundown.” Lily stood. “Uncle, there are others here, with magic, ready to help us fight the attackers. I’ll just call them now.”  
The members of the Order of the Phoenix walked out of the woods. Lily turned to her uncle. “It seems to me that the gardens outside will be a much better place to fight than inside. I’ll just check that there is no one in the house, and then we will keep the fighting outside, so you can all stay inside the house.”  
Lily walked back down the front hallway. “If I were a Death Eater, where would I be?” she wondered. She searched one bedroom and bathroom after another, but there was no one there. No one except — the staff. Lily made her way down the stairs. The maids were all standing there in a clump, with their arms all tied by a golden rope coming from a Death Eater’s wand.  
“I am truly sorry, Arglwyddes Rhiannon,” the tallest one of them said. “He said he had just come to deliver the vegetables.”  
“That’s all right,” Lily said. But where was the Death Eater? One of the maids pointed a quavering finger behind her. Lily turned around, just in time to avoid the Stunning Spell.  
Red and green lights flashed all around the gardens. Uncle John watched; even though Lily had encouraged him to stay inside, away from the battle, she had known from his stubborn glances that he would not. But her task was not to protect him, she reminded herself, it was to protect his home, her home, to face — but where was he?  
Lily barely missed a Stunning Spell as she looked for the tall figure she knew just had to appear. Laughter behind her made her turn her head.  
“It’s you,” she said.  
“Shouldn’t you be running?” he asked.  
Lily squinted. “You don’t want to kill me.”  
“Correct. But your husband and your son-"  
“Are not in any danger.”  
“Not now, it would seem. Soon.” Voldemort surveyed the battleground, and for one anxiety-filled moment, his eyes seemed to settle on James. But he merely laughed again as he Disapparated away.  
This was easy. Too easy. He could’ve done far more damage if he really wanted. To her family, to James, to the Order. But he didn’t. Why?  
“It’s over now,” she told her uncle and her aunt. They nodded. Uncle John grabbed her shoulders. “Lily, thank you,” he said. “Don’t you think you can stay and — “  
Lily shook her head. “I have to go.” She walked away and Disapparated.  
She appeared again in Holyhead, and the real reason for the attack sunk in. He wouldn’t kill her. But he still wanted to know where she lived. And no one could tell him, not except Peter. So he would - oh. He would lure her, would lure James, out of Godric’s Hollow. And then he would send his Death Eaters to follow her home.  
Lily’s eyes widened. How could she have put her baby in such danger? She supposed James was running through their pre-arranged Apparition route. He would be at Sirius’ now. Should she Floo Sirius? No, better not to contact anyone. And he was disguised - he’d be fine. She would just stay in Holyhead for awhile to throw the Death Eaters off the scent. Lily looked around the street. But where to wait? That - pub looked good, where there were so many other wizards.  
She walked into the pub and ordered a Butterbeer. She smiled as she saw a group in heated discussion of the latest Harpies Quidditch match. It felt as much a seamless part of the wizarding world as Hogsmeade, as Diagon Alley. And it was still as much a part of Wales as the rest of it. Lily heard a few rapid conversations in Welsh. As much a part of Anglesey, even. This was the place she had thought about going. The place where she could enjoy the best of both worlds.  
A man walked up to her. “Hello,” he said. “And where might you be from?”  
Lily smiled. “From here.”  
The man wrinkled his forehead. “I’ve not seen you here before, though.”  
Lily closed her eyes. No, she had never been there before. She had been scared. Scared she would want it too much. But she had wanted closeness with the people of Llanfair, not just to be on Ynys Môn. And she had wanted, had needed, to be at Hogwarts, to become a part of the wizarding community in London. She had to be able to leave, to come and go. This was not a real solution. This was too simple. Leaving was leaving, and staying was staying. Lily shook her head. In any case, wasn’t it too late to change her mind? This was what was easy, but not right. Right was going back to her husband and child.  
“And not for a second do I regret leaving there or coming here. It was the only way to be with the people I was meant to be with, to do the work I was meant to do.”  
“And I have not left Wales. It is still inside me. I am Welsh, as I always will be, and nothing can take that away.”  
Lily nodded and turned away from the street. If she stayed longer, she just knew that she would want to stay even more. In a moment, she was in London again.  
She materialised just outside St. Mungo’s. The next step would be to the square in Godric’s Hollow. Should she wait again? Or go ahead and Apparate? Lily turned on her heel, ready to put an end to this event. She saw two Death Eaters materialise in the room just before she left it.  
Lily looked around as she materialised in Godric’s Hollow, but no one was there. James was holding Harry when she arrived in the living room. “Well then,” he asked. “How was your visit back home?”  
Lily looked straight at him. “What do you mean? I am home now.”

The next day, the group gathered around the coffee table. Lily sighed. Mad-Eye had tried to forbid her from letting so many people know the location, but she just couldn’t see another way around it.  
“But we have to take the photograph. We’ve just got to!” she told Mad-Eye.  
He rolled his eyes. “And why? We all know what we look like.”  
“But my son doesn’t.” James stood beside Lily. “I want to show him who we all are, who we all were.”  
“To show the Death Eaters too?” Mad-Eye paced the living room. “Because that’s what a photograph like that will do, show where the Order is and who’s in it.”  
James said, “Lily, he’s got a point. Maybe we should wait a few months, for the war to die down a little.”  
“No!” Lily felt her eyes fill with tears. “No, it should be now, before we — before we lose others.”  
James draped an arm over her shoulder and faced Mad-Eye. “You have reservations, I know you do. What if we just take one, for us? Only one copy? Then we will know exactly where it is all the time, and then the Death Eaters won’t see it.”  
Mad-Eye said, “Right.”  
James turned to Lily. “But does it really have to be here?”  
“Does it matter?” Lily asked. “You think we should go elsewhere?”  
James spread his arms. “It could work.”  
Mad-Eye shook his head. “Maybe, but we aren’t taking any unnecessary risks.”  
“Yeah, but — “ James paused, then brightened. “It could make sure the photo doesn’t give away our location.”  
“Yeah… look at it like this.” Lily glared at Mad-Eye. “What will they see from the picture? Our living room? How would that help at all?”  
Dumbledore walked in from the front garden. “Right. The photograph must take place here. Nowhere else.”  
It took some arguing, but finally Lily was able to convince Mad-Eye. Everyone gathered for the photo — even Remus was there. For ten seconds, before Lily’s wide eyes shooed them out of the house once more.

The following days, Lily still was certain they were all going to die. That someone had followed her back. Even though she had evaded the Death Eaters, she kept looking over her shoulder for a hooded, cloaked figure. Every day was like their last.  
After a week, though, she convinced herself that she had been careful, that it wasn’t going to happen. It was the last for Marlene, and for so many others, but not for them. Things would go on in the same way they always had. Until suddenly it was.  
They had taken Harry out earlier that evening. Everyone had loved his Golden Snitch costume. James had even played at tossing him around some, and Lily said nothing. After the walk around the village homes and shops, Lily and James took Harry back to his room. They ignored the black suit laying out for Benjy Fenwick’s funeral the next day, pulling out instead a lovely set of jumper and jeans. They carried him back to the living room and played until dinner, or until they heard a creak on the door.  
Somehow, Lily knew what it was before James even yelled out to her. She picked up Harry and raced up the stairs to the nursery. The cat yowled in protest as she stepped on his tail in her rush to get in the room. A few minutes later, she heard a crash on the piano. James’ signal. He was on his way. Lily piled a few moving boxes against the door, even while her mind wondered what good it would do. She whispered a few words to Harry. Then it was time for what she had to do. She knew she could. She cut her hand and — was that enough blood? But the cut itself shouldn't cause her death. She made the cut on her hand a little deeper, wincing from the pain, and she spread it on Harry’s forehead. She then put her finger on his head. And soon, it soaked in. That would save him, right? It would — or it wouldn’t.  
Bathilda knocked on the door. Lily froze for a moment. She heard footsteps on the stairs moving toward the door. And if she went to warn Bathilda away, of course she wouldn’t. She would stay and fight. And then she would die. And so would Harry. Like Lily.  
She was going to die. That was strange. It was so odd, waiting for death. And how was death not terrifying? Either that or the cut had been deeper than she thought.  
The door creaked open.  
“You don’t have to die, you know.”  
Yes. She knew that. But -  
“But Harry does.”  
Voldemort turned to face the baby boy. Before Lily stepped between the two of them, Harry laughed. Voldemort blinked, looking almost afraid.  
“Right. So just stand aside-"  
“No,” Lily said. Time to act desperate, to lower his defences. “Not Harry! Please no! Take me — kill me instead.”  
And he did.  
It was not instantaneous. She had always thought it would be. But she had room for one final thought before she fell to the floor: “Rwyf wedi eich trechu.[1]”

Many years later, Petunia would still tell herself that the hardest thing she had ever done was burying her sister. Not the saddest - that would have to be the death of her parents. But, by far, it was the strangest experience of her life. The day after Halloween, Petunia discovered a baby on her doorstep. Before she knew it, she was planning an event in the wizarding world. For people she did not know. And the only familiar faces in the crowd - Remus Lupin, and a Severus Snape that was so far back he was hardly even there -  
Petunia wheeled the stroller in front of her into the village square. There was a small crowd there, wearing black. Very small. It was odd that, for all the celebrations before, so few people seemed to know how it all really had happened. She laughed. They were all out commemorating the end of the war. And what could be more important than that?  
Petunia scanned the faces in the crowd. Even though she didn’t know most of them, every face turned to look at her as she walked by. Like they somehow knew who she was. And that was  
The funeral itself was much the same as the Muggle funerals she had been to — like the one for her parents. Remus Lupin had helped her pick out every word. Would they like this? Would she like this? It was in English, not Welsh - would that have been okay? Or would they feel it was disrespect to her sister? Remus had said that it should all be in English, and the tombstone too. The only concession she had been able to make was the epitaph. The same phrase that watched over her family forever would watch over Lily and James, too.  
After the funeral had ended, she took one last look at her sister’s grave. Remus was leaning over it, saying something — was that Welsh? Severus had disappeared into the forest.  
Petunia shook her head. Vernon would be home soon, and he would want his tea. Looking at Dudley and Harry laying side by side, she said to them both, “All right. Gadewch i ni fynd adref.[2]”

 

[1] I have defeated you.  
[2] Let’s go home.


End file.
